Gino hadn't said anything in almost twenty minutes, Julia realized. And he'd been staring down at his black coffee for at least the last five. "Are you all right, Dad?" she asked, covering his hand with hers.
There was pain in his eyes when he looked at her. "Do you still want to call me Dad?"
"Of course I do. You're the only father I've ever known. I love you. I love Lizzie, too. You're my family."
"But we're not," Liz said.
"Yes, you are. Blood doesn't matter more than love, and we love each other," Julia said.
"If blood didn't matter, why did you need to know your real parents?" Liz asked.
It was a good question. Julia tried to explain. "Because I needed to know myself as much as I needed the history. I've always felt a bit out of step with everyone. I couldn't figure out where I got my love for music or even my looks. I know Mom used to joke that I had her nose and her legs, but I think she just said that to make me feel like I fit in. She did everything to make me happy. I'm angry in some ways, but in other ways I know I've had a good life because of her."
"She should have told me," Gino said heavily. "I should have asked more questions about you and your father."
"She left that life behind. The only truth Sarah lived was with the three of us. The lies ended when she married you, Dad. You have to remember that."
"You think you know a person, but you don't," he said.
"But you did know her. You knew the little things," she said. "You knew the way she liked her coffee, the way she cried at romantic movies. You knew the way she read the newspaper from back to front, and the way she laughed—half giggle, half snort." She smiled at the memory. "We all knew her. We did."
"What about your other sister?" Liz asked. "What are you going to do about her?"
Julia took a breath. "She's flying out here next weekend. I want you all to meet her. I'm hoping…" She paused, waiting for them both to look at her. "I'm hoping that you'll accept her. She's had a tough life. She grew up in foster homes. She has no family, except for me—no father, no sister, no nothing."
"I'm kind of jealous of her," Liz confessed. "She shares your blood. And you're twins. You're going to get closer to her and forget about me, I just know it."
"I have room in my heart for two sisters. What about you?" Julia challenged. "And what about you, Dad? Do the DeMarcos have room for another person at next weekend's Sunday brunch?"
"Yes," he said, a smile crossing his lips for the very first time. "Of course. We will make room for your sister at our table whenever she comes."
"You are a very generous man," she said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, "and I'm lucky to have you. Which reminds me, we need to talk about your drinking, Dad. I know I've been distracted, but not too distracted to notice that you've been drowning your sorrows in alcohol. I don't want to lose you. And I think you should stop. I'll help you, whatever it takes."
He patted her hand. "I feel better when I drink. The pain is not so sharp."
"But Dad—"
"I know," he cut in. "Your sister already talked to me about it."
Julia looked at Liz in surprise. "You did?"
"You told me it was my turn to take action," Liz replied. "Dive in, take charge, stop being a spectator, you said. So I did. Dad and I had a long talk last night."
"I'm glad." Things were going so well, Julia wondered if she should push her luck; then she decided to go for it. "There's one other person I'd like to invite for next weekend's Sunday brunch."
"Alex?" Liz asked with a wry smile on her lips. "I should have figured."
Her heart flip-flopped at the sound of his name, but she shook her head. "No, not Alex. I was thinking about Susan Davidson, Sarah's mother, and your grandmother. I'd like the two of you to meet."
Gino glanced at Liz. "What do you think, honey?"
"I think it's a good idea," Liz said slowly. "If Julia is getting another sister, I might as well get another grandmother, if you don't think Nonna will mind," she said to Gino, referring to his mother.
"She'll be all right with it," Gino replied. "There's always room for one more."
"Good," Julia said with a smile. "You're both being really generous, and I appreciate it more than you know."
"What about Alex?" Liz persisted. "Why don't you invite him, too?"
"Because he's leaving. In fact, he's probably already gone. He couldn't wait to get back to his job." She blinked back a tear. She wasn't going to cry over Alex. She'd had a good time with him. And he'd been great. She'd known all along that what they had was only temporary.
"You love him, don't you?" Lizzie said quietly, with compassion in her brown eyes.
"I wish I didn't, but I think I do." She paused. "There's something else I need to tell you."
"There's more?" Liz queried. "I thought we knew everything."
"About the past, yes, but I want to talk to you about the future. I'm planning a little trip…"
Chapter 23
Two weeks later Julia could barely believe she was traveling by taxi through the streets of Moscow with Elena by her side. She smiled at her sister. "We're here," she said.
"I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Two weeks ago I didn't know you existed, and here I am in Russia with the sister I thought was dead. Life takes some very mysterious turns just when you least expect it," Elena replied.
"I'm so glad you were willing to come with me. I know it was kind of an impulsive thing to do. And you're more into planning than I am. But I was afraid if we waited too long, we'd never do it."
"Fortunately, the Russian government was willing to extend us visas," Elena replied. "That expedited matters."
"I guess the Russians were happy to discover an American end to an old Russian crime. It certainly released any lingering doubts about who killed our parents."
"It's too bad Mama and Papa told Brady about those jewels. They might have lived otherwise."
"I'm sure they did the best they could with the information they had. They didn't know who to trust, and they took a chance."
"And it got them killed." Elena turned sideways in her seat. "I wasn't sure about this trip, you know. I kept thinking we should let this part of our lives stay in the past, but now that we're here, I'm excited." She paused. "I keep thinking I should remember something, but I don't. Do you?"
"Not at all," Julia said with a sigh. "Maybe when we start walking the streets something will come back. I hope so, anyway."
"Me, too. But whatever happens, I'm glad we came. I'm also glad I met your family. They were really nice to me. I'm grateful for that."
Julia sat back in her seat, watching the sights go by, and thinking about the last ten days. As Elena had said, the DeMarcos had graciously accepted her into their midst, including Liz, who after some initial awkwardness had opened her heart. Liz had also been willing to spend time with her newly discovered grandmother, Susan Davidson, who had finally been filled in on the whole story. It would take some time to blend the families, but Julia was convinced it would happen in the end.
There were still a lot of things they had to figure out, especially about the money, the jewels, and the music scores, but she and Elena had both agreed to do nothing until they'd made this special trip back to the past. They needed to shut that last door before they could completely move on with their lives.
Ten minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of the Hotel Metropole, located across the street from the Bolshoi Theater. Her mother had danced there, so had her great-grandmother, and it was as good a place as any from which to retrace their steps.
Once they were checked in, they proceeded to their room, which was nicely decorated with sketches on the walls, two double beds, a desk, and a chair. While Elena made a stop in the restroom, Julia headed toward the window. The Bolshoi Theater was directly in view. It was a beautiful building, with eight strong columns and the chariot of Apollo sculpture on top. There was so much history to the building, so much history that was importa
nt to her family of dancers and musicians.
"What are you staring at?" Elena asked, joining her at the window.
"The Bolshoi."
"It's stunning," Elena said with a sigh. "I dreamed of dancing there one day. But it wasn't meant to be."
Julia put her arm around her sister's shoulders. They had spoken of many things, but not about the accident that had taken away Elena's ability to dance. Someday she hoped Elena would confide in her the rest of her life story.
"I remember watching Mama from the wings," Elena continued. "I thought she was so beautiful, and I wanted to fly like she did."
Julia had brief flashbacks to the inside of the theater as well, but she hadn't enjoyed watching her mother as much as she'd enjoyed hearing the power of the orchestra. "We should go there second," she said.
Elena raised an eyebrow. "Where are we going first?"
"To the orphanage where Alex took your picture. That's how this long journey began. We would never have found each other without that photo. Are you ready?"
"I suppose."
Julia didn't like the sound of hesitancy in her sister's voice. "What's wrong?"
"I'm a little afraid of the memories," she confessed. "Aren't you?"
"No," Julia said, feeling nothing but excitement. "I know it will be sad to see where our parents died and to go their graves, but I feel for the first time in a while that the future is wide open for me. And I'm ready to make peace with the past."
Elena smiled. "Then lead on."
They left the hotel and walked through Red Square, known as Krasnaya Ploschad in Russian. It was a much bigger space than Julia had imagined. At one end was the Kremlin, a medieval walled city on a hill above the Moscow River. At the other end were the colorful domes and spires of St. Basil's Cathedral. The rest of the area was rife with history, according to the guidebook Julia had read on the plane trip. North of the cathedral was Lobnoye Mesto, or "Place of Skulls," a circular raised platform on which public executions were carried out in the days of the tsars. Beyond that, across from the Lenin Mausoleum, was the GUM department store, Russia's version of a shopping mall.
Julia wanted to personally visit each site, but first they were on a mission to find the orphanage. After discussing her goal with several government agents, she'd been given an address, and now they were nearing the place where it had all begun.
In fact, it came out of nowhere, the unpretentious stone building with a fence and steel gates protecting its inhabitants. She had no idea if it was still an orphanage.
Julia stopped abruptly. Elena did the same. She tried to remember ever being in that yard, by that gate, but she came up blank. Maybe she'd never been out there. But Elena had. Julia moved closer to her, until they were shoulder to shoulder.
"I remember standing there," Elena whispered. "I was so scared, so terrified. I knew something had happened to our parents, something beyond bad. I could feel it in my heart. Then a man and a woman came. They took me away. I cried for you, but they covered my mouth, and then we were gone." She put a hand to her stomach. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."
"Maybe you should sit down. There's a bench over there."
"No, I'm going back to the hotel."
"I'll go with you."
Elena put up her hand and took a step away. "I need a little time, Julia. Okay?"
"Are you sure?" Julia didn't want to let her go on her own.
"I'm certain. I'm not as good as you are at sharing feelings. It's going to take me time to feel comfortable with it all."
"I understand. We can leave. We can do something fun."
"Later. I'm tired. I just need a break. Besides, there are some things we need to do on our own." She gave Julia an odd little smile, then walked away.
Julia frowned. She had wanted to do everything together, but she was beginning to understand how much harder it was for Elena to be part of a twosome. She'd grown up alone, forced to keep everything inside. It was the only way she knew how to cope. Maybe with time, that would change.
Julia walked over to the gate and put her hands on the steel. There was no one in the yard. In fact, the building looked vacant. There were no signs, just a sense of bleakness about it, as if nothing happy or good had ever happened there.
"Would you mind if I took your picture?" a man asked.
She whirled around in surprise. "Alex?" She couldn't believe it was him, but there he stood, dressed in jeans, a black shirt, and a black leather jacket. A camera case hung over one shoulder. His brown hair was ruffled by the breeze, his green eyes alight with excitement. He looked impossibly handsome. Her palms began to sweat and her spine tingled. "What are you doing here?" she asked, finally finding her voice.
"I realized I didn't have a picture of you. All that time we spent together, and I never took a photo. What kind of a photographer am I?"
"So you came all the way to Moscow to get one?"
He grinned. "I do what I have to do to get the shot. You know that. I called your apartment a couple of days ago. I spoke to Elena. She told me you were on your way here."
"Is that why she ran off so suddenly?" Julia asked, suddenly making sense of Elena's odd comment that there were some things they needed to do on their own.
He nodded. A moment passed; then he said, "I have something to give you." He set down the camera and pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket.
For some reason the sight of another envelope made her nervous. "What is it?"
"It's from Stan. I finally tracked him down. He told me everything, how he helped set up the defection, how much he wanted your mother to dance in the United States."
"Did he know about Brady's plan to kill them?"
Alex shook his head. "No, not at all. You see, Julia, Stan had a huge crush on your mother, Natalia. He met her a few times, and he wanted very much to help her. I guess they became friends on a few of her trips to the United States. He was devastated when she was killed. And he told me he was sorry that he hadn't been honest with us. He believed he was protecting me and you. Like my father, Stan thought that the Russians killed your parents. As an apology, he sent you this. Open it."
"I'm afraid. I don't want any more bad surprises."
"This is a good one."
She took the envelope out of his hand and pulled out a photograph. Her heart stopped beating as she realized what she was seeing. It was a black-and-white family picture of Natalia, Sergei, Elena, and herself. She pressed it to her heart as she blinked back a tear. "It's all of us together," she whispered.
He smiled at her. "Stan thought you would like it. He said Natalia gave it to him a long, long time ago."
"I love it. I'll have to thank him when I get back. I'm glad he wasn't involved, Alex. I know you care about him." Julia blew out a breath, seeing a new light sparkle in Alex's eyes. He obviously wasn't finished. "Was there something else?"
"Elena told me that she thinks you're in love with me."
"I can't imagine why she'd say that," Julia replied, her heart racing as he took a step forward.
"Maybe because I told her I was in love with you," he said.
"What?" She couldn't possibly have heard him say the words.
"You heard me." He moved closer until he was just inches away. "I missed you, Julia."
"You did?" she whispered, gazing into his eyes and seeing the love he was talking about.
"Yeah, I missed your smile and your beautiful blue eyes, the way you lick your fingers after you eat something really delicious, the excitement you get when you try something new, the light that shines out of you when you talk about music and changing the world one melody at a time."
"Oh, Alex," she murmured, incredibly touched by his words.
"I tried to forget you. I buried myself in work, thinking it would fill me up the way it used to, but it didn't. There was still a hole in my heart. I didn't actually know I had a heart until I met you. You see, I put it on ice about twenty-five years ago, just a few weeks after I left this very square."
She put her hands on his shoulders. "It must be hard for you, to come back here."
"No, it's easy, because you're here, and because now I know what I want. Which, in case you haven't figured it out yet, is you. I want to be with you, Julia."
"Even if that means a permanent address?"
He nodded. "Wherever you are is where I want to be. I've lived most of my life thinking I was just like my father, that photography was my sole passion, that the world was my backyard, that it was more important to show what was happening in the world than to live my own life. But my father gave it up for love. He gave it up for me." He put his hands on her waist. "And I'm willing to give it up for you."
She bit down on her lip, her eyes tearing. "Really?"
He smiled. "Absolutely. You're an incredible woman, Julia—smart, sexy, brave—and you never quit. You inspire me."
"I feel the same way about you, Alex. Your courage, your sense of adventure, the way you embrace new things constantly amaze me. And you're really good in bed, too," she added with a smile.
"It's about time you mentioned that," he said with a sexy growl. "I think I'm the luckiest man on earth right now." He leaned over and placed a tender, passionate kiss on her lips.
"And I'm the luckiest woman," Julia murmured against his mouth. "Do you know why I came here?" she asked him, pulling away for just a moment.
"Tell me."
"I wanted to connect with my parents. The letter my mother wrote to us made me realize that my parents lived their lives with purpose and passion. They were willing to risk everything for love and family. That's the way I want to live. I don't want to play it safe. I want to follow my heart—wherever it leads. This trip was the first step."
"Where are you going next?"
She moved deeper into his embrace. "Right here…I love you, Alex. I was going to come and find you after this trip." She paused. "I don't want you to stay in one place for me. I want to go with you wherever life takes us. I have some thoughts of my own about spreading music around the world. I could use a partner for that."
"You've got one. And if the last few weeks are any indication, I think you and I are going to have a very exciting life."
Don't Say a Word Page 35