Sydney frowned.
“It’s because you won’t be planning it with your best friend. Not if things continue to go the way they are.”
Sydney sighed. “So, is this what it’s going to be like living with a minister? You’re going to be able to discern my emotions and thoughts.”
Noah leaned closer to her. “I hope so,” he whispered huskily. “I hope to always be in touch with what you need.”
Sydney smiled before placing her lips on his. “Good. Because that’s exactly what I want in a man.”
“Let me reassure you even more,” Noah said, and pressed his lips to hers.
41
“You’re placing me in an awkward position. I hope you realize that,” Noah said, as he met with his afternoon appointment in his office at Beulah church. He dropped the notepad and ballpoint pen he held in his hand. The pen rolled across his desk past the crystal dolphin Sydney had given him.
A long-tapered brown hand grabbed it to keep it from falling on the floor. “You almost dropped your pen.”
Noah looked the man sitting across from him in the eyes. He reached over to take the pen. “Doctor Forbes, I’m going to be frank. I prefer you’d find someone else.”
Lance got right to the point. “You’re a man of God. Isn’t this what the Bible says we should do? Come to the elder of the church. I’ve tried to settle things with Sydney and she’s been resistant. So, I’m here for help.”
Noah swiveled his chair to face the window. He scanned the spectacular blue skies while he debated the request. He wanted to throttle the arrogant man sitting behind him.
Imagine the audacity of coming to your former fiancé’s current fiancé to arrange a meeting. Who did that? Noah was a man of God and Lance was taking advantage of that fact. He shook his head. How could he agree when Sydney would never forgive what she’d perceive as his consorting with the enemy? But how could he refuse when Sydney did need to forgive and make peace?
“I feel bad because I know this is a lot I’m asking of you,” Lance said.
Noah spun around. “Really? Did you feel bad when you slept with your former fiancé’s best friend?”
Lance glared. “I thought you were a pastor and would be nonjudgmental.”
Noah replied. “I’m a pastor, but I am also Sydney’s fiancé.”
“Fiancé?” Lance cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
Noah sized him up. “I hope you’re not here for Sydney. You’re no longer a part of her life and I don’t want you in her life.” He fixed his gaze on Lance’s. “I’m personally motivated to see that not happen.”
“You’re pretty blunt for a pastor.” Lance chuckled. “I see you’re your own man.”
“Who else’s man would I be?” Noah countered with a steeled voice.
Lance’s shoulders slumped. “Look, maybe I’m wasting your time.”
Something in Lance’s tone called out to Noah.
Lance shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.”
Noah looked at Lance through spiritual eyes. Noah saw hurt and hidden pain. Lance was a lost sheep. The minister in him responded to that.
He was almost at the door when Noah called out, “Lance, wait …”
Lance made a half turn toward Noah.
“Let’s talk …” Noah said.
***
At nine o’clock that night, Noah questioned his impulsive actions. Sydney was going to chew him up, spit him out, and feed him to Scurvy. Alone in his bedroom, Noah twiddled his thumbs and debated not telling her.
After all, he answered to God. Not Sydney. She needed to understand that as a minister, he had a job to do. Even if it was unpleasant and involved rejects like Lance Forbes. God still wanted him.
He squared his shoulders and picked up his cell phone.
Sydney answered mid-ring. “I was wondering if I’d hear from you,” she said. “I’m still here at work. I’m going over the papers on a new case. Now that Curtis is gone, we’re doing the brunt of the research ourselves until we hire someone new. But I’m enjoying it. I know I’ll win this case. I have lots of time to get my arguments together.”
Sydney sounded relaxed and happy. Noah knew he was about to ruin her buzz. A chill traveled up his spine. “There’s something I have to tell you. I’m telling you now, you’re not going to like it.”
“What is it?
Noah could hear the nervousness in her voice. He pictured the frown on her face as a million crazy scenarios tore through her mind. He decided to put her out of her misery. “I’m going to be counseling Lance.” Dead silence on the other end. He continued. “He showed up in my office today seeking my help and I agreed. I believe that God is leading me. I’m meant to help him.”
“You’re kidding. Is this your idea of a joke? Because if it is, it’s not funny.”
“It’s not a joke. I wouldn’t kid about something God wants me to do.”
“You’re bringing God into this? I can’t believe you agreed to counsel that backstabber. What were you thinking? How could you?” He heard the hurt in her tone, but he couldn’t get a word in.
“You don’t understand how I’m feeling. If you did, you would’ve sent him to someone else. There are thousands of pastors on the Internet and all over Port Charlotte. He didn’t have to come to you. Think about it. Why you? Huh? He just played you left-right-and-center.”
Her anger lashed at his heart. “Let me explain.”
“What’s there to say?”
“I –”
“That’s what I thought,” she said before he heard the click. Noah’s eyes widened. He looked at his phone. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been disrespected like that. He redialed. He wasn’t going to let her get away with that. Grownups spoke to each other. They didn’t hang up the phone. He got her voicemail.
Great. Now, he was getting the silent treatment. Noah waited for the perfunctory message and tone. “I think it’s childish for you to hang up on me and reduce me to talk to your voicemail. I’m answerable to God. Let me remind you of that. If you have a problem with what I did, then take it up with Him.”
Noah ended the call. Then he looked upward to the One who always took his call. “Lord, did I do the right thing?”
His cell buzzed, interrupting his thoughts. It was a text from Hunter.
I think I know what Matthew has planned. Meet me at our usual spot. I’ll fill you in.
Noah waved a fist with triumph. “Yes! Finally, a breakthrough.” He grabbed his keys and headed for the front door. “Gramps, I’ll be back.”
Scurvy yelped behind him.
“I’m taking Scurvy with me.”
“There is a God!” Gramps hollered.
42
“You hung up on your fiancé? Are you out of your mind?” Janine yelled.
“Yes, I did,” Sydney replied. “I can’t believe he agreed to counsel Lance knowing what he did to me. Noah should be loyal to me.”
“Do you doubt his love for you because he agreed to do something you don’t like?”
Sydney rolled her eyes. “I don’t want logic right now. I just need you to listen.”
“Oh, so you want me to just agree with what you’re saying?”
Sydney gritted her teeth. “That’s not what I mean.” Her heel snagged on the carpet in her office. She took off the shoe to investigate. There was a slight tear in the fabric near the heel. Another shoe ruined. It was all Noah’s fault. How many shoes was she going to lose because of him?
“Are you there?” Janine’s tone brought Sydney back to the conversation.
“Yes, Mom.” Sydney hopped on one leg and returned to sit behind her desk. With the phone propped against her ear, she brought her shoe closer to investigate. It was only a slight tear. She flung the shoe on the floor. Who was she kidding? Sydney knew she’d never wear it again, knowing the slight imperfection existed. For her, every time she walked in that shoe, the tear would be magnified. She might as well be wearing
a mountain on her heel because that’s what she would feel. “I think Noah should have chosen me.”
“Over God?”
“What are you trying to do, Mom? Play lawyer?”
“I love you …” Janine began.
Sydney tensed. Any declaration of love on her mother’s part was usually the indicator that a lecture or sermon was about to follow.
Janine didn’t disappoint. “But God works in mysterious ways. Honey, no one is perfect, but you expect people to live up to unrealistic standards only Jesus can meet. You did the same thing to me, your own mother. And now you’re doing the same thing to Belinda and Lance. You have to learn to forgive. Why is it so hard for you to talk to them and settle things? You’re in love with Noah. You’re his fiancé, so, why haven’t you let the baggage of the past go and put it in the trash where it belongs?” her mother paused for a moment and then, “Unless …”
“Unless, what?” Sydney prompted. “Don’t bite your tongue now. Unless, what?”
“I didn’t want to go there, but I’ll speak my mind. Are you still in love with Lance even after all these years? Is that why you let him get to you?”
43
The next morning, Sydney strolled into her office wearing dark Ray-Ban sunglasses. She hid puffy eyes due to a significant lack of sleep the night before. Her mother’s questions haunted her. Was she still in love with Lance? Plus, she was seriously debating going over to the church and knocking Noah upside the head.
Preoccupied with her thoughts, she waved at Portia before entering her office, slung her purse on the floor, her body into the chair, and plopped her feet on her desk. She was grateful she didn’t have any court appearances because she wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. The flip side was that she had even more time to think.
“I’m in love with Noah.”
At the moment, her assurance sounded unconvincing to her ears. “It’s no use.” Sydney groaned. She stood and smoothed her pleated skirt. Then she locked her office door.
She needed to talk to God and for His Spirit to help her sort through the muddle of her mind. Why were her mother’s questions so troubling? Worse yet, why hadn’t she given her mother an answer? She’d made a feeble excuse about work to get off the phone and avoided the entire thing.
Sydney floated in unchartered territory. How could she even begin to discern her true feelings?
Well, she might not be able to, but she knew the One who could. She got on her knees. “Lord, help me know what’s in my heart, and help me not to be so mad at Noah.” Her shoulders shook. Tears flowed down her cheeks and the words she wanted to get out were stifled by her cries. She knew the Holy Spirit would interpret what she couldn’t find the words to say. She wiped her face and stood.
She gathered her hair and twisted it into a bun. Then pulled open her drawer for a hairpin. She finished her hair and gathered her files.
Sydney decided to review some of the files Curtis had worked on for her. She wanted to make sure everything was in order. She wrote a list of cases on post-it notes.
She opened her door to beckon to Portia, but Portia was on the phone.
Sydney heard her talking to someone.
“I hope she’s all right,” Portia whispered. “This is not like her to be late and closet herself inside her office. Something is up with Noah.”
Sydney’s eyes widened. Portia was talking about her.
“I can’t help it, Jack. I’m concerned,” Portia said. “Sydney is the best boss I’ve ever had. She’s caring and thoughtful and I worry about her.”
Sydney cleared her throat. “Portia?”
Portia swiveled around so fast she almost toppled out her chair. Her face reddened as she untangled the cord and hung up the phone without telling Jack goodbye. “You need me?”
Sydney kept her facial expression placid. “Can you pull these files for me?”
“Ah, sure.” Portia’s hands trembled. “I know you heard me talking to Jack about you. I’m concerned. Are you okay?”
Sydney nodded.
Portia’s brows furrowed. “You don’t look good. Did you get enough sleep?”
Sydney let out a yawn. “Actually I had a restless night last night.”
Sydney pointed toward her office.
Portia followed and closed the door behind her. She claimed one of the chairs. “Okay, what’s up? Is it Noah? Did he do something to you? Are you still getting married?”
Sydney’s eyes crinkled. “I never have to worry what’s on your mind.” She slipped into her chair. “I’m still engaged. Noah hasn’t done anything to me per se.”
She didn’t have Belinda to talk to and her mother had already established she was Team Noah. Sydney was lonesome and craved female companionship, so she opened up. “But he told me he will be holding counseling sessions with Lance.”
Portia’s eyes narrowed.
Sydney tapped a finger on the desk. “Apparently my former fiancé and my best friend have been seeing each other on the down low.”
Portia shot out her chair. “Hang on, are you telling me that they’ve been—” She paused using a physical gesture to complete her train of thought.
Sydney cringed, interpreting the crude gesture. “Yes.”
Portia held her hands on her hips. “Oh, no, she didn’t. I know your friend didn’t try you like that. She deserves a slap across the face and a good old-fashioned beat down.”
Sydney agreed, but she couldn’t tell Portia that. Portia looked to her for spiritual guidance. Sydney chose her words carefully. “God will deal with Belinda. I’ll leave it to Him.”
Portia paced. “I’m so livid right now. I want to, I don’t know. I hope I don’t run into them because they—whoa, I don’t even want to say what I’d do.”
“You’re loyal.” Sydney smiled.
“I’ve got your back. Nobody hurts you without hurting me.” Portia shook her head. “I don’t get why Noah would counsel him. It’s a conflict of interest even if it’s past history.”
Portia’s choice of words hit Sydney’s core. She zoomed in on one word in particular: history.
“I’m going to tell you something. I was just in here praying because I was angry. I felt like Noah betrayed me. What business does he have with Lance? But like you just said, everything with Lance is history. I’ll try not to sweat the issue. God’s got it.”
Portia’s eyes widened. “I have so much respect for you. You should be getting ready to whup somebody, but instead you’re talking about God. Wow.”
God had a way of putting things in perspective. “Girl, believe me if it weren’t for Him, we would be having a much different conversation. The old me would be asking for the Vaseline, taking off my earrings, and pulling on sneakers.”
Portia grinned and put on a preacher voice. “If you’re saved and you know it, can I get an Amen?”
Sydney chuckled and gave her a high-five. “Amen, sister.”
Portia cracked up.
Sydney leaned forward. “I have to ask you something. I think I know the answer, but I want to know what you think.”
“A question?” Portia lifted a brow.
“Am I still in love with Lance? Is that the real reason why I’m mad at Noah?”
“No.” Portia shook her head. “You’re not in love with Lance.”
Sydney wrinkled her nose. “How do you know?”
“I know because your body, your aura—everything about you—says you’re madly in love with Noah. I’ve never seen you radiate the way you do over Noah. Take it from me, you were probably never in love with Lance because even when he ran off with Monica, you kept on stepping. It never ruined your groove at work. But look how off-kilter you were after a minor dispute with Noah. That man has you all twisted-turned out upside-down. You’re in love with him.”
Sydney’s heart lifted. “You’re so perceptive. Thank you, Portia. You cleared the cobwebs around my good judgment.”
“I’m glad I was here to listen and help.”
“God sent you,” Sydney said.
“I’ll take your word for that.” Portia strutted to the door. “Let me get those files for you.”
“Take a long lunch hour on me,” Sydney called out.
“That’s what’s up. Good deal.”
Sydney continued working until close to nine p.m. Her eyes hurt from reading and she’d forgotten to eat. She gathered her belongings and went outside. She put on the alarm and locked the door. All of a sudden her senses went on alert. She swung around, but she was the only person in the lot. Sydney looked around but saw no one and nothing. She couldn’t quell the eerie sensation of being watched. Her heart raced. She undid the locks and rushed to her car. She threw her briefcase on the passenger seat, slammed the door and clicked the lock button. Then she exhaled. She gave another cursory glance before she willed herself to relax.
“Your imagination is working overtime, Sydney. There’s no one here.” She spoke audibly to herself, once again attempting to quell her nerves.
This was the first time since she worked at the firm she felt like there were eyes on her. She wanted to call Noah, but what would she tell him? She was scared of the dark? She had a feeling? No, she’d chalk it up to a raccoon or armadillo. Noah might think she was being silly getting spooked over Florida’s night creatures. Thinking of Noah made her miss him. Before she drove out of the lot, she sent him a text.
Just wanted to say I miss you.
Almost immediately the words, Miss you, too dinged on her phone.
Noah’s response eased her mind somewhat. Maybe, just maybe, all was not lost.
44
“Giving up before you’ve begun?”
“Please, spare me,” Noah begged. He looked scraggly and he needed to shave, but he couldn’t muster the energy to get out the house. He’d bunked out on the couch all night and most of the day. Because of one obstinate, thickheaded, impossible, beautiful woman named Sydney.
“Don’t you have a counseling session at 9:15 this morning?”
Noah ran his fingers through his hair. “I know my schedule. I’ll be on time.”
Gramps slapped his legs. Noah shifted to make room.
Tell Me Lies Page 20