“Why are you here?”
She finally let go of his wrist. Jamie wanted to massage the feeling of her fingers off his skin, but she was watching him, so he only swiped his arm against his apron and stepped back behind the bar.
“The police are trying to make this into something it’s not. I liked you. That was why I came by that night. It wasn’t some premeditated crime. I told Graham I was stopping by and he asked if I’d…”
“Be an accessory?”
“No!”
“Did you get a cut? Did he pay you to take me home and screw me?”
“No!” she yelled, her voice loud enough that the two customers stopped talking to watch them.
“You need to go,” Jamie said. “Now.”
“It wasn’t like that. I wanted you.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “I remember. Whether I wanted it or not, right?”
Her mouth became a red slash of anger as her cheeks went pink. “Don’t pretend you didn’t want it. You’re a man. If you hadn’t wanted it, there wouldn’t have been much to work with. And if I remember correctly, there was plenty.”
“Get out,” he ordered.
She seemed to realize she’d gone too far. Her sneer disappeared and she shook her head. “I’m sorry. Really. I swear, I had no idea what he had planned.”
“What is it that you want, Monica?”
Her gaze flickered down. She shook her head.
“Just say it so you can leave.”
She reached for him, drawing one finger down his arm, her lower lip edging out a little as if she were a young girl in trouble. “They’re trying to set me up, Jamie. If you would only tell them it wasn’t like that. We had a connection, and I’d never have done anything to hurt you. Just tell them that. I know your sister is dating the lead detective. He’ll listen to you.”
Monica Kendall looked ridiculous playing this part. There was nothing soft and vulnerable about her, which was exactly why he hadn’t been the least bit attracted to her. It was why he’d said no until he hadn’t had a choice.
“I really care about you, Jamie.”
He pulled his arm out of her reach and shook his head. “You’re a lying, ice-cold bitch. I’m not the only man you played this way. There was that construction company Christmas party, right? Is that the only way you can get a decent guy to sleep with you? By tricking him?”
She reacted as if he’d just set a live wire to her nervous system. First her spine snapped straight, then her eyes went wide. Her lips parted, but no sound came out.
He hated her with a fury that would’ve surprised him if he hadn’t recognized the phenomenon. It was hate for her mixed up with hate for himself. “You’re beautiful, Monica. There’s no denying that. But there’s something wrong inside you. I could see it right away.”
This time when her mouth opened, plenty of sound came out. She screamed, “Fuck you!” and lunged for him, her bright red nails swiping toward his face. He pulled back just in time, but she kept coming.
“Hey!” he yelled, grabbing at her wrists to stop her attack.
“You loved it!” she screamed. “You loved every minute of it.”
“Get out now before I call the cops.”
The swinging doors burst open and Eric stormed in. “What’s going on?” His eyes narrowed on Monica. “What the hell is she doing here?”
“She was just leaving,” Jamie growled, straining to keep her hands away.
Monica was still raging, her lips pulled back from her perfectly white teeth. “You suck in bed, you know that? You didn’t even make me come.”
Yet another lie. The girl had screamed so loudly in bed she’d made his ears ring. “Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t really into it.”
She pulled her chin in, took a deep breath and spit right into his face. He let go of her in shock and one of her nails caught his cheek.
“Shit.”
Suddenly the tornado of nails and screams was gone. Eric had wrapped his arms around her from behind and he dragged her toward the door. Jamie grabbed a rag and wiped his face before sprinting toward the door to open it. Eric pushed her out and Jamie closed the door as quickly as he could.
“Holy crap,” one of the bikers said.
“Makes me glad I’m married,” the other one muttered.
Jamie ignored them and wiped his face again, his hand feeling distinctly shaky. He noticed a smear of blood against the rag and pressed it to the spot on his cheek, which burned like acid.
“Sorry about that, guys,” Eric was saying. “Those pints are on the house.”
The men whooped, clearly untraumatized by the soap opera moment they’d witnessed. Jamie, on the other hand, felt on fire with adrenaline, and his lungs burned as if he’d just run five miles.
Eric turned on him. “Could I speak with you in the back for a moment?”
Jamie nodded, but on his way to the back, he stopped, drew himself a pint of pilsner and downed half of it in one gulp.
When he pushed through the swinging doors, Eric was waiting with arms crossed and eyes blazing. “What the hell was that about?”
Jamie dabbed at the scratch. “I have no idea.”
“You’d better come up with an idea. You just had a brawl with a woman in front of the customers.”
“That wasn’t my fault.”
Eric raised an eyebrow. “Is there someone else to blame for the fact that you slept with her?”
“That’s not the—”
“Is there someone else to blame for you leaving her alone in front so she could unlock the door? How about the fact that she got the alarm code because you were distracted by her tits. Who should I blame for that?”
Jamie slammed the glass down on the counter. “I’ve already apologized for that.”
“A lot of good it does.”
“Right.” Jamie picked up the glass and finished the beer before setting it carefully back down on the metal table. “Right.”
“I’ll cover the bar,” Eric said, his voice low and rough.
“No,” Jamie answered. “You don’t get to tell me that. I’m covering this shift and I’ll work it whether you like it or not.”
Eric paced away and then back. “What was she doing here? Did you call her?”
“No, I didn’t call her,” Jamie said dully. “She wanted me to tell Luke that she hadn’t been playing me that night. I guess he’s got her running scared.”
They’d never really talked about that night, but Jamie could see all the disgust in his brother’s face now. That was fine. Jamie was pretty damn disgusted himself. “I’m going to get back to work,” he muttered. He didn’t want to hear one more word about it. If he could take it back, he would, but there was never a chance to take back mistakes, no matter how much you regretted them.
But as he pushed open the doors, Eric’s soft voice stopped him.
“Why can’t you ever do the right thing?” his brother murmured.
Jamie looked at his own hand spread against the wooden door. He remembered how large his father’s hands had seemed to him when he was a child. Now he had the same hands: large and wide and touching this same door in the same building where his father had worked. The worst kind of irony. He was nothing like his father. Nothing at all.
He pushed through the door without giving an answer. There wasn’t one.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
SHE OPENED HER APARTMENT DOOR so quickly that her hair whooshed forward. “Jamie! What happened to you?”
Hands in his pockets, Jamie grimaced. “Oh, nothing.” One hand rose to touch a scratch on his cheek. “Just banged into something when I was tapping a keg.”
“No, I meant, where were you today?”
“Sorry. I got called in to the brewery.”
Though she’d been rushing around for days now, time slowed for a moment. Jamie filled her doorway, his shoulders wide, even when they curved down in weariness. His forearms were sculpted muscle. His mouth a wry quirk as he waited for her to say more.
&nbs
p; God, she’d missed him, but she’d been too busy to realize it until this moment.
His gaze fell to his feet just as a breeze shook the night behind him. As his wild hair ruffled in the wind, he looked up, past his dark lashes, and the light from the entry caught the green beauty of his eyes.
“Come in,” she urged, but before he could get past the threshold, she put her arms around him. “It feels like it’s been weeks.”
“You were too busy for me.”
His arms came around her and she tried not to recognize how good it felt, even as she closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. “I’m sorry,” she said. Had he missed her? She flinched away from the foolish thought and let him go.
“But,” she said, “all my time was spent on you.”
“Odd. I didn’t even notice you around.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek just to have another chance to touch him. “Your plans for the brewery, silly. I’ve been working on them day and night, and I wanted to show them to you right after class. Oh, I’ve been so excited, Jamie. I didn’t realize until I started just how much work you’d already done. All those napkins add up.”
He offered a brief smile at her joke, but nothing more.
“You’re not honestly angry, are you?”
Jamie sighed. “No, of course not. I’m just tired.”
“You’re too tired to look, then?” She tried not to sound crushingly disappointed.
“Tonight?” He cringed a little, so she kept her expression neutral as she nodded. “Sure,” he finally said. “But is there something I can steal from your fridge for dinner first?”
“Of course.” She started to turn away, but changed her mind. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah. It’s nothing. Just another argument with my brother.”
“I’m sorry.”
He managed a more sincere smile this time. “I’m fine. Just hungry and tired.”
“I can make you a salad and a chicken sandwich.”
“How about if you just put the lettuce on the sandwich and we call it good?”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “You’re such a boy.”
“I’m glad you noticed.”
He seemed easier then. Lighter. Olivia found herself smiling as she made him a sandwich with extra lettuce and sat down at her small table to watch him eat.
“You don’t have to look at the plans tonight. Let’s just go to bed. I mean…if you were planning on staying.”
“No,” he said and her heart shook. “I mean, yes, I was hoping to stay. But no, I’m not so tired that you need to tuck me in. Not right away.”
Thank God. Now that she’d finally come up for air, she wanted him close. Wanted his hands on her. If he was too tired, she didn’t know how she’d survive it.
Maybe she was the one who wanted to head straight to bed.
“All right,” Jamie said, dusting off his hands. The sandwich seemed to have disappeared in three bites. “Let’s see your plans.”
Thoughts of going to bed burned off in a flash of excitement, and Olivia had to fight the urge to clap her hands in giddy anticipation. “Okay,” she said. “Come on. I set up a chair for you in my office.”
“Yeah? Can I start calling you Ms. Bishop again?”
She rushed ahead to arrange the chairs and tidy up the desk before he walked in. Then she sat down and put both her hands flat on the folder as she waited for him to get settled.
Her blood felt like it was shivering in her veins.
“Um, are you ready?” he asked after a few moments.
She took a deep breath and turned on the monitor. “We’ll start with something exciting first. I worked with the photos you sent me. I’m no designer, but…” Olivia clicked open the first photo, which showed the front of the brewery as it was now, a white sidewalk laid along the base of a plain brick wall. “This is what the front looks like now. And this is what I was thinking for an outdoor eating space….” She pulled the next picture up, her eyes darting over all the details. The long wooden deck, the dark green table umbrellas, complete with Donovan Brothers logos, the casual tables and chairs that would allow Boulderites to relax with a beer in their favorite place: the outdoors.
“Outdoor space?” Jamie murmured.
“I know we didn’t talk about that, but I thought it would be a great way to add more eating area during your busiest months. Not only does it give you room for six more tables, but it’s like a living advertisement for the brewery.”
“It’s really nice,” he said, nodding.
“Okay, let’s go inside.” She clicked to the photo of the interior. “Per your request, I didn’t want to change much here, but…” She opened the mock-up picture of the front room. “I think square tables will let you add a few more seats, not to mention that it will offer the option of pushing tables together to make space for larger parties. But we can use the same chairs you have now, which will save money.”
“Mmm. Good.”
She dared a sideways look at him, trying to read his face, but for once, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Here’s the menu. It’s only a draft, of course. And I had to guess at the beer pairings, but…” She loved this menu. It had been so much fun. Who wouldn’t have fun developing a pizza menu?
She’d used Jamie’s ideas, and created some pies of her own. As he’d suggested, she’d added some salads, plus the option of a French onion soup. The soup could simmer on the stove all day, then the chef could simply add bread and cheese and run it through the pizza oven to toast it up.
After a few moments of grinning at her own creation, she realized Jamie hadn’t said anything yet. She cleared her throat. “The menu is simple and small, so you can leave it right at the table with your beer menus. Or you could incorporate the two. Either way, your customers can sit where they like. You won’t need a hostess.”
“Good. That’s great. I really like it.”
Did he? She could hardly tell. Olivia’s heart sank as she opened the next picture. “The kitchen,” she said simply.
He grunted in response.
Now her heart had sunk low enough to ache. “Is there something wrong? Is it not what you wanted?”
“No. No, it’s exactly what I wanted. I’m only tired. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said, but she couldn’t keep the confusion from her voice.
“I’m sorry,” Jamie repeated. He did sound sorry, but was it only regret that he couldn’t compliment her plans?
She slumped in her seat, staring at the layout of the new kitchen. “I chose a midrange model pizza oven,” she said dully. “I think it will serve your needs.”
“Maybe we should go to bed,” he interrupted. “I’m insulting your hard work, and I don’t want to do that. I never want to do that. It’s just…”
“What?”
He turned to meet her gaze, and Olivia finally found the emotion she’d been searching for in him. But it wasn’t the right one. It was…despair.
“Jamie? What’s wrong?”
He stared at her, lips parted as if he’d speak, but in the end, he only shook his head and looked away. “I’m tired. And the fight…”
“Let’s go to bed, then. The rest will wait until morning. It’s all budgets and schedules and boring numbers.”
There was something more. Something he wasn’t telling her, but she couldn’t be surprised by that. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She wasn’t even his friend.
So she took him to bed and tucked him in. The sex was slow and soft and perfect, and Olivia told herself that she was satisfied.
But the ache stayed lodged in her chest, and she didn’t sleep for a long time.
THE ROOM WAS DARK and Olivia was warm against him, but Jamie couldn’t find comfort. His mind kept turning. It was only 5:00 a.m., but he was wide awake and staring into the dark.
He tried to fall asleep for another thirty minutes, but his eyes kept opening, his pulse too fast to let him rest. In the end, he slipped from the warmth of Olivia�
�s arms and tugged on his shorts and T-shirt.
Feeling like an intruder, he wandered through Olivia’s apartment, too restless to settle in one place. When he idly opened her fridge, he saw a six-pack of Donovan Brothers Hefeweizen and managed a smile. Had she bought that for him, or for herself?
Though he was tempted, he bypassed the beer and got a glass of water instead, then headed for Olivia’s office. Her computer still glowed with welcome, and when he nudged the mouse, her monitor blazed back to life.
Earlier, he’d been too tired to feel anything when she’d shown him the plans, but now his heart lurched at the sight of the picture. He clicked back through, noticing details he hadn’t seen the first time, and he felt…grief.
He wanted this. He still wanted it. But Eric would fight him. Jamie might be able to convince him—actually, he was certain he could. But every step of the implementation would be a test. Every misstep an opportunity for Eric to shake his head and look disgusted. Nothing would have really changed.
Jamie needed a clean start. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, but he needed it.
He opened the manila folder on the desk and looked over the numbers Olivia had assembled in a remarkably short amount of time. Pages of numbers that meant something different now. If he were really going to branch out on his own, it would be a very expensive endeavor. He wasn’t sure he had the skills to pull it off.
He dropped his head to his hands and closed his eyes.
“You really don’t like it, do you?”
His shoulders stiffened at the sound of Olivia’s voice. He shook his head.
“I don’t know what I did wrong. I thought it was what you wanted.”
“It’s not that,” he whispered.
“Well, what could it be? You look like…like I’ve crushed all your dreams or kicked your puppy or…”
“I’m not going to be doing the expansion,” he said, pushing his fingers against his skull.
“What?” she breathed. “Why?”
“I told my brother about my idea. He laughed it off. Told me I was ridiculous.”
“Jamie…” She came closer, her footsteps whispering over the carpet. “I thought you were going to wait. Present it to him with the portfolio. I—”
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