Swallowing his resentment, Samuel tried again. “I’m not surprised that you stepped up. I just wanted to say I appreciate it and I know the rest of the family does, too. The birdhouses are a good idea. Rebecca seems to think they’ll make money for us. We’re going to need more ideas like it if I—if I can’t carve again.”
“You will.”
“With hands that don’t work and eyes that can’t see. I’m more likely to become a burden on this family.” The anger and sadness in his heart pulled him toward a dark place.
Luke was silent for so long that Samuel wondered if he had left the room. He leveraged himself back into bed. He just wanted to sleep. To forget everything that had happened.
Luke cleared his throat, proving he was still beside the bed. “I never did tell you how sorry I was that I didn’t take care of the generator that morning. I should have put gas in it when you told me and not handed the chore off to Noah. I’m so, so sorry.” The pain and sorrow in his voice were unmistakable.
Samuel’s throat constricted as tears burned behind his bandages. “I don’t blame you, Luke. We’ve disagreed on a number of things over the years, but I never once thought you wanted to hurt me. God chose this path for my feet to walk.”
“I wish it had been me.” He barely whispered the words as Samuel felt the weight of Luke’s hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t, brudder. Not even for a minute.”
* * *
Rebecca was seated at the table when Luke came downstairs. She caught a glimpse of him wiping his eyes before he came into the room. She rose to take the tray and dishes from him. “How is Samuel feeling?”
“He’s still in pain.”
All the dishes on the tray were empty. “At least his appetite is improving.”
Luke followed her as she carried the dishes to the sink. “I want to thank you.”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. “For what?”
“For telling him about my birdhouses. We’ve come up with a way to advertise and sell them along the highway.”
She smiled at him. “I’m glad.”
“He doesn’t blame me. I thought he did. I thought he believed it was my fault.”
She turned around. “Why would you think that?”
“Because it was my fault. I was the one who didn’t fill the gas tank that morning. I told Noah to do it, but he was walking away from me and never even heard me. I should have made sure that he was listening. No, I should have done it myself.”
“We can’t change one minute of the past, Luke. Regrets are useless. We can only change how we move forward.”
“I guess you’re right. That might take a little practice on my part.”
“I have news for you. It isn’t easy for anyone.”
“What isn’t easy?” Noah came in from the living room. He pulled open the refrigerator door and studied the contents.
Luke ruffled his younger brother’s hair. “It’s not easy keeping you fed.”
Noah swatted his hand away and made a muscle with his arm. “I have to keep up my strength. We have more corn to stack tomorrow.”
Rebecca dried her hands, opened the cupboard and pulled out a chocolate bundt cake. “I made this earlier.”
“Perfect.” Noah took the plate from her hands.
Luke snatched it away from him and held it behind his back. “You can have a piece, but you have to take one up to Samuel. You know how much he likes chocolate cake.”
“Did I hear chocolate cake?” Timothy strolled in with a book in his hand.
Rebecca took the plate away from Luke. “Before the three of you inhale it, you should see if your parents want some.”
Timothy opened a drawer, pulled out some forks and handed them around. “Mamm and Daed have gone to bed.”
“All the more for us.” Noah grabbed a plate drying in the rack on the counter. Luke and Timothy did the same.
“All right.” She cut the cake into generous slices and filled each plate the men pressed at her. When Luke held out a second plate, she smiled to herself. “Do I have to supervise or will you actually take it up to Samuel?”
Luke flushed. “We’ll all take it up.”
“That’s a fine idea,” Noah declared.
The men trooped up the stairs together. After a few minutes, the sound of quiet laughter drifted down. Smiling, she turned around to see Anna glaring at her.
Rebecca pasted a smile on her face. “Good evening, Anna. I’m sorry if we woke you. The boys wanted some cake.”
“You have made yourself right at home with my family.”
Rebecca couldn’t tell if Anna was upset or not. “Your family has made it easy to feel welcome. You have been blessed in your children. Would you like a piece of cake?”
“I think I would.” Anna went to the cupboard and got her own plate down. She held it out as Rebecca placed a slice on it.
Anna carried her plate to the table and sat down. “Won’t you join me?”
Was this an olive branch? “I was about to make some chamomile tea. Would you like some, too?”
“That sounds nice.”
Rebecca fixed two cups of tea, cut a small piece of cake for herself and carried it all to the table. She sat down across from Anna and decided to let the older woman lead the conversation. They ate in silence for a few minutes.
“Tomorrow I must go and help my sister-in-law get ready for church services at her home. Edna always waits until the last minute to clean.”
“What can I do to help?”
“If you could make the men a light lunch and take it out to the fields tomorrow that would be a blessing.”
“Consider it done.”
“My husband was right,” Anna said without looking up from her plate.
“About what?” Rebecca didn’t want to assume anything.
Anna glanced up. “He was right that I needed an extra pair of hands to help with Samuel.”
“If I have lightened your burden in any way, then I’m happy I came.”
“Samuel spoke about you a lot this afternoon.”
“Did he? It wasn’t all good, I’m sure.”
“He said he noticed John Miller seems quite taken with you.”
Rebecca’s cheeks flamed red. How did she explain? “My brother-in-law has been very kind to me since Walter died.”
“You don’t think it’s more than that?”
“Perhaps it is. Our families have been pushing for a match between us.”
“It’s understandable. John is a widower. There are far more bachelors in Bowmans Crossing than there are single women. You inherited your husband’s lands. I’m sure his parents would like to see that land come back to the family.”
“I have heard all the arguments about why it would be a beneficial match.”
“But?”
“I’m not in love with John. I’m not sure I will ever love anyone the way I loved Walter.”
“A good marriage is not always about wide-eyed, heart-thumping love. It should be about respect and common goals. It should be about raising children and teaching them to fear the Lord. Isaac is my second husband. Did you know that?”
Rebecca looked at Anna in surprise “I didn’t.”
“I came from a small town in Pennsylvania. I had married my childhood sweetheart but he died in a hunting accident a few months later. I didn’t believe I could ever love again.”
Rebecca understood that sorrow. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Danki. I met Isaac at my cousin’s wedding. We courted briefly. When he asked me to marry him, I wasn’t in love with him the way I had loved my husband, but I wanted a family and a home of my own, so I said yes.”
Rebecca crossed her arms on the table and leaned toward Anna. “Was it the right decision?
Would you do it again?”
Anna stirred her tea slowly. “It was the right decision for me. Over the years, I have come to care deeply for Isaac. He has given me five strong sons and provided for us all. I could not ask for more.”
“But, do you love him?”
Anna smiled softly. “There are all kinds of love, child. The love a mother has for her children. The love a man has for his wife. The love God has for all of us. All different, but all love nonetheless. Ja, I love him.”
Leaning back, Rebecca pushed the last bite of cake around on her plate. Maybe she was wrong to reject John’s advances. Maybe mutual respect and common goals would be enough. Maybe.
* * *
“Samuel, what are you doing?”
He stopped pacing at the sound of Rebecca’s tired, irritated voice. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“What’s wrong?”
Having her near lessened his pain. “Nothing. Go back to bed.”
“Something is wrong. Let me help.”
Too tired to fight alone, he sighed. “I can’t sleep. My hands hurt. My face hurts. The dressing changes always do this.”
“I’ll get you a pain pill.”
“Nee. They make me so groggy.” He turned and took the five steps he knew would bring him to the open window. The breeze was slight, but it carried a hint of coolness and the smell of the river. He braced his forearms on the window jamb and leaned forward until his forehead rested on the cool glass.
“It’s two-thirty in the morning, Samuel. Groggy would not be a bad thing about now.” The hint of humor in her voice made him smile.
“They make me hot, and it’s already too warm to sleep. I just need to take my mind off of it. I wish I could go outside where it’s cool.”
“I agree that it’s a warm night.”
“Really, I’m fine. Go back to bed. I’ll stop pacing.”
“I’m not sure I can get back to sleep. I’ll take you out on the porch for a while.”
“I’d rather go down to the river.”
“In the dark?” Her voice rose in surprise.
“It’s always dark for me. Go back to bed.” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone and failed.
He heard her bare feet padding across the wooden floor. He wasn’t surprised when she laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ll have to get used to comments like that.”
“You don’t know what God has planned for you. I will take you outside if that is what you want.”
“It is. Danki.”
* * *
She had a long robe on over her nightgown, but she should have put on her shoes.
The grass was cool and damp, but Rebecca discovered a number of small stones with her bare feet as she led Samuel out the back door and toward the water. She used a small flashlight to help her pick a path. The farmhouse was situated on a small knoll that overlooked the river below. The lawn had a gentle slope to it. She was happy to see Samuel had no trouble keeping his balance as they walked slowly along.
“What are the stars like tonight?”
She paused and looked up. “They are hidden behind the clouds. I see only a few peeking through.”
“Is the moon up? It should be full tonight.”
She studied the heavens and detected a spot of unusual brightness behind the layer of clouds to the east. “It is, but it’s behind the clouds. Did you have someplace in mind to go?”
“There is a low stone wall below the bridge. I like to sit there.”
She swung her light in that direction. “I see it.”
Keeping a firm grip on his elbow, she led him forward until they reached the wall. He sat down with a contented sigh. A fresh breezed rustled the leaves of the trees and shrubs along the bank. The water made faint gurgling sounds as it flowed around the bridge piling. A bullfrog croaked nearby. She turned the light in that direction. She didn’t see him, but a loud splash proved he had been hiding in the reeds.
“I love to sit and listen to the river at night.”
“Do you?” She swung the flashlight in a wide arc when a rustling in the nearby bushes startled her. A pair of eyes blinked once and vanished. She had no idea who or what they belonged to. Slipping closer to Samuel, she kept her light trained on the shrubbery, but nothing else appeared.
“Being blind isn’t so bad at night. I can smell the scent of mud and decay. I can hear the water tug at the branches of the plants lining the edge of the waterway. I know exactly how the river looks when the moon rises and casts its sparkling light on the ripples. It’s peaceful, don’t you think?”
She jerked the light toward the bridge when she heard the sudden flap of wings. “What’s that?”
“An owl who lives in the rafters of the covered bridge. He’s going out to hunt. It’s so much better out here than being cooped up inside. Don’t you agree?”
“It’s nice.” As long as the eyes didn’t show up again and the owl didn’t swoop in her direction. It wasn’t long before the bugs found her light and began to flutter in front of her. She batted them away and finally snapped it off.
“Close your eyes.”
“They are closed.” She blinked then checked the bushes again. Nothing showed itself. She didn’t like the dark.
“Tell me what you hear?”
“Insects and frogs.”
He raised his face to the sky. “I hear the earth slumbering.”
Samuel had a fanciful side? She never would have guessed that. “What a beautiful thing to say.”
He lowered his face. “It’s silly, I know.”
“I don’t think it’s silly at all. God created many wonders. Some we see in the light of day, some are only revealed at night. Have you always liked the night, or is this because of your injury?”
“I’ve always loved to sit out here after the household is asleep. I like the night sounds. The wind is softer. The air is cooler. The trees sway and dip. Small animals rustle through the leaves and underbrush. Bats and owls glide by with barely a sound.”
“Bats?” Something buzzed by her ear, and she swatted at it. What other sort of creepy-crawlies were out here? She scooted a hair closer to Samuel.
“Are you afraid of bats?”
She heard another sound and switched on the light again. “Of course not. What kinds of animals crawl through the leaves?”
“Rebecca Miller, are you afraid of the dark?”
The humor in his tone made her spine stiffen. “Why would you think that?”
“I keep hearing the flashlight click on and off.”
“So?” She shut it off and put it in the pocket of her robe.
“We aren’t walking. You don’t need to see your way, so why are you swinging it around unless it is to make sure something isn’t sneaking up on us. Leave the light off, and your eyes will adjust to the darkness.”
“It’s off, okay?” She slipped another inch closer to him. Without the light, she heard even more sounds.
He chuckled.
“What’s so funny, Samuel?”
“If you move any closer, you’ll be sitting in my lap. Do you really think a blind man could protect you?”
She wiggled a few inches away. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I could push you down and let the bear eat you while I run away.”
“There are no bears around here.”
“There are wild dogs. Coyotes. Other things.”
“What other things?” She could tell he was struggling to contain his mirth, but she didn’t care if he did think it was funny.
“When I was little, my brothers used to tell me that the coyotes and foxes would eat me if I went out of the house at night.”
“And you believed them?”
“Maybe.” She�
��d never heard of anyone being attacked, so she was pretty sure they had only said it to frighten her. It worked.
“A coyote is much more afraid of you than you are of him.”
“Don’t be too sure about that.” She closed her hand over the solid cylinder of the flashlight in her pocket. It would make a decent club if need be.
A loud splash made her jump back into Samuel. His arms went around her. She struggled to pull the light out, but Samuel blocked her arm with his elbow. “Wait. You’ll see what it is in a minute,” he whispered in her ear. His breath sent a shiver across her skin. She was pressed against the length of him. His chest rose and fell with each breath. Her fear of the night faded rapidly.
“That was something big jumping in the water.” She used the same low whisper although she wasn’t sure why.
“I know.”
She strained her eyes, staring at the inky blackness below the bridge. Finally, she made out a shape crossing the river. The clouds broke apart, and the light of the moon silhouetted a huge buck swimming across the river. The moonlight sparkled like diamonds on the V-shaped ripples behind him and the droplets of water on his antlers.
“It’s a deer,” she whispered, awestruck by the beauty of the scene.
“I thought so. They often cross near here.”
“Why don’t they use the bridge?”
He laughed. The buck changed course and began swimming downstream until it was out of sight behind some bushes. “They don’t use the bridge because they are wild things. To them, it must look safer to swim the river rather than chance entering a man-made cave if they think about it at all.”
“I suppose.” She stepped away from him and missed the warmth of his contact.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked softly.
Rebecca glanced at the man beside her. He wasn’t the invalid she had first come to know. There was much more to Samuel Bowman than met the eye, and she liked what she was learning about him. “Not yet. Are you?”
“Nee. I could sit out here for hours. Maybe that’s why God took my sight, because I have always liked the night.”
“His ways are hard to comprehend.”
“I never wanted anything except to take care of this family. Instead, I’ve become a burden to them. I have lost my father’s entire savings along with his business.”
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