by Valerie Parv
Unable to endure the gaiety of the picnic races a moment longer, she begged a lift from one of the caterers who was returning to town to replenish the beer supply. A taciturn outback man, he didn’t ask why she was returning early, for which she was grateful.
The town was deserted, the festivities continuing until well into the evening. She knew exactly what she had to do. The month wasn’t up, but after today she doubted whether Bryan would care if she stayed. She would finish the project from Perth, giving him no excuse to foreclose on her brother’s mortgage, but she would do it with as much distance between them as was humanly possible.
If she drove until nightfall, then slept in the car until dawn, she could be at Wildhaven by breakfast, she decided. Should she call Nick and Denise and tell them to expect her? She decided against it in case they tried to talk her out of it.
Her car was fuelled and ready, one of Bryan’s men having serviced it only days before. She loaded her cases into the car, tying them down securely, and borrowed some food and water from the kitchen. Leaving money and a brief note in their place, she got into her car.
This wasn’t how she wanted to leave, she thought as a bleak wind of despair swept through her soul. She had fallen in love with Bryan, and what was her reward?
Her lips retained the imprint of his kiss, and whisker burns abraded her cheeks. But the greatest damage was to her heart, which felt like a stone inside her. Unconsciously she kneaded her chest with one hand, trying unsuccessfully to banish the ache, as she drove slowly out of town.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THERE was little time to appreciate the raw beauty of the spinifex plains. All Jill’s concentration was needed both to manhandle the car along the corrugated track and to remember the way.
Time and again her mind returned to her last conversation with Bryan out at Turuga. Why couldn’t he believe her? It wasn’t as if she wanted to blacken Christa in his eyes.
Didn’t she? a small voice whispered inside her. Wouldn’t it simplify matters if Bryan was free? Was that what she had hoped to gain by confronting him.
‘No,’ she said aloud after searching her conscience. She knew how much the town’s future meant to him. She couldn’t stand by and see his dream destroyed.
It was pointless anyway. No matter what he found out about Christa, there was still her father, to whom Bryan owed so much. How could Jill hope to compete with such a powerful debt of honour?
She welcomed the solitude of the dune country. Apart from the flocks of birds in the white gums and patches of mulga alongside the track, there was peace. At sunset she would see dingoes, plains turkeys, emus and kangaroos, but for now the plains were empty of animal life.
Into the great silence she drove for hours, stopping only to slake her thirst with cool water from her supply, and to remove the clumps of prickly spinifex which clogged the radiator.
The sand around her began to glow blood-red with the coming of evening, and she stopped, looking for a place to camp. Trying to drive after dark was foolhardy. Apart from the risk of getting lost, she could run into a kangaroo and have a serious accident. Who would know or care out here?
As if in response to her thoughts, she heard the murmur of an engine in the distance. No tell-tale dust cloud marred the track either ahead or behind her. The sound came closer.
She looked up as a small white plane with blue markings on the tail came in low, following the road.
Bryan?
Wind rushed past her as he flew overhead. It was the Cessna in which they’d flown from Turuga to Bowana. She was sure she could make out Bryan at the controls. What was he doing here?
Joy spiralled through her, out of control. He had come looking for her, unable to let her go out of his life for good.
The noise became deafening as he skimmed the plane over the road then banked and turned, this time coming in to land. He had been checking the condition of the road, she realised.
He taxied the plane to a halt a few metres ahead of her car. A smile of pure happiness lit her features as he jumped down from a door beneath the high wing of the plane.
Her joy was short-lived. He looked furious as he strode towards her, kicking up dust with his boots.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
Her smile died. ‘I’m driving to Wildhaven.’
‘Not by night you’re not.’
‘Of course not. I intend to camp by the roadside until dawn.’
He gave her a look of grudging respect before his features hardened again. ‘You probably would, too, even though it’s insane to travel alone in these conditions.’
Wounded pride made her defensive. ‘It’s really none of your concern.’
‘You came here as my guest. That makes it my concern.’
A tight band wound itself around her heart and squeezed, making her feel faint. ‘Your duty towards me was discharged this afternoon. You didn’t have to come all this way merely to apologise.’
His jaw tightened, the hard line emphasised by a swath of five o’clock shadow. ‘I’m glad you think so, because I don’t plan to apologise.’
‘Then why did you come?’
‘After you ran off, I got a radio telephone call from your brother. Your sister-in-law has gone into premature labour.’
Horror raced through her and she started to spin away, but his grasp on her arms arrested her. ‘Let me go! I have to go to her; she needs me,’ she gasped out, twisting helplessly in his hold.
He hauled her closer. ‘Listen to me. You can’t drive through the night in this country. You’ll kill yourself.’
She turned brimming eyes to him. ‘But Denise… The baby…’
‘I’ll take you in the plane.’
Slowly, sanity overrode her shock. ‘Why should you?’
‘Do you really have to ask?’
Of course. The comradeship of the outback. He was simply helping out a neighbour in her time of need. Abruptly her resistance collapsed. Denise and the baby were more important than Jill’s reluctance to share the cramped confines of his plane. Her heart raced as she thought of Denise. This baby was so important to her. Please, God, don’t let her lose it, she prayed as she followed Bryan to the plane.
Rescuing her bag from the car, he tossed it in after her, then drove the vehicle on to the road shoulder and locked it. Moments later, they were racing along the road and into the sky, which was stained with the orange glow of evening.
Thank goodness the small plane was too noisy for comfortable conversation. After today, what could she possibly say to him? She jumped when he jogged her arm. ‘Look up there.’
Above the horizon hung a gleaming white cloud like a white satin sheet flung into the sky. At miraculous speed, it was whipped into one amazing shape after another, occasionally disappearing altogether, only to reappear seconds later in a new configuration.
‘Corellas. Uncrested cockatoos,’ Bryan mouthed in answer to her shouted question.
As they came closer she saw that the cloud was indeed a flock of dazzling white birds, moving and spinning around the sky in joyful formation.
Watching them soar through the clouds, she realised that they didn’t disappear at all. When they changed direction, they presented shadows rather than sunlit feathers to her view.
‘It’s amazing,’ she mouthed to Bryan, gripping his arm to make her point.
The magic of the shared moment had passed. He glanced coldly at her fingers splayed cross his forearm, then reached up to flip a switch over his head, and her hand slid away.
She avoided touching him again for the rest of the flight, only too aware of how hard it would be to stop. In spite of everything that had happened, she still wanted him desperately. The desire to touch and be touched by him vibrated through her in harmony with the throbbing engine.
Was love always such a torment? She could hardly bear to think of what Denise must be going through, all for love. It seemed so cruel that such a shining ideal should always bring such suffering wi
th it.
‘What did the doctor say?’ she asked Bryan above the clamour of the engine.
His fingers tightened on the controls as if they were a bull’s horns. The shape was the same, she thought distractedly. ‘He wasn’t there,’ he said. ‘He was expected when your brother called me.’
‘He will get there, won’t he?’ Wildhaven was looked after by the flying doctor service, she remembered. Her skin went cold with fear. What if the doctor didn’t get there in time?
Bryan seemed to sense her growing panic. ‘He’ll get there.’
But when? It was dark by the time they landed at Wildhaven. Her brother’s foreman, Tom Noonagar, was waiting for them in a Land Rover. The headlights beamed across the rugged airstrip to light their way in.
Almost before the propeller had stopped spinning, Jill pushed her way out of the plane and rushed to the waiting car. ‘How is Denise, Tom?’
In the dark she could only make out his big, expressive eyes. They looked moist in the light from the car headlamps. ‘She’s not good, missis. No sign of that doctor yet.’ His glance went to the Cessna. ‘I was kinda hoping it was him now.’
Bryan reached her side and she performed a sketchy introduction. The two men acknowledged each other with a nod. ‘The doctor isn’t here yet,’ she told Bryan, the tremor in her voice betraying her panic.
He took her arm, and some of his strength seemed to flow into her. ‘Don’t give way now. Denise is going to need you.’
Throwing her case into the car, Tom drove them to the homestead with reckless disregard for the rough terrain or the old man kangaroos which leapt across their path. ‘I gotta get back to the airstrip and wait for the doc,’ he said after he dropped them off.
The mud-brick homestead was ablaze with lights and the front door stood open. Her boots clattered across the flagstone floor as she hurried through the house. ‘Nick? Denise?’ she called, her voice echoing hollowly back to her.
‘In here.’ Her brother emerged from the master bedroom. His face was grey as he hugged her quickly. He looked distraught when Bryan followed her into the house. ‘I hoped you were the flying doctor.’
A strangled cry tore the night air, and Jill flinched. ‘What’s holding him up?’ Bryan asked Nick.
‘Must be plane trouble. The base can’t raise them, so nobody knows when he’ll get here.’
Jill’s urgent gaze went to Bryan. ‘Can’t you go for Dr Brennan?’
He shook his head. ‘No time. From the sound of things, the baby will be here before I could locate him. But there is something we can do.’
‘Fly her to a hospital?’
‘I could if you want your niece or nephew to be born in a Cessna.’ He nodded towards the door. ‘What we have to do is help deliver a baby.’
Her brother’s shaken look galvanised her into action. ‘Tell me what you want me to do.’
Bryan’s hand gripped her shoulder. ‘Go in there and comfort Denise. Where’s the bathroom?’
As Nick led Bryan down the hall, Jill took a deep breath and pushed open the bedroom door. Denise was lying on her side with her knees drawn up. A satin sheen stood out on her face.
Fighting the urge to turn and run, Jill went to her sister-in-law and grasped her hand. ‘Couldn’t you wait to get this over with?’
Denise opened her eyes and managed a weak smile. ‘Jill, thank goodness. Did you bring the doctor?’
Jill squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t worry; help is on the way.’
Bryan loomed over them both. His bare forearms were red from scrubbing, and a pristine white tablecloth was tied like an apron high on his chest. He smoothed the hair away from Denise’s forehead. ‘How long has this been going on?’
‘It feels like most of the day,’ Denise gasped out between contractions which made her grip Jill’s hand like a vice.
‘She didn’t realise she was in labour. We both had a touch of food poisoning, and we thought it was more of the same,’ Nick supplied.
Watching the waves of contractions which flickered beneath the flimsy sheet, Bryan shook his head. ‘You’ll have more than indigestion when this night’s over—like a new addition to the family.’
He sounded so calm and assured that Jill’s heart swelled. Whatever their differences, he would make things all right. Denise even managed to smile.
He nodded approvingly. ‘That’s the spirit. You won’t mind if I lend a hand, will you?’
Biting her lip, Denise shook her head. Nick took her other hand and Bryan settled himself at the end of the bed with all the aplomb of a midwife. He must have done this before, Jill thought. He radiated confidence.
He frowned in concentration as he felt with his flattened palms for the baby’s position.
‘Were you expecting a breech birth?’ he asked in a conversational tone. Jill caught an undercurrent of concern and felt renewed stirrings of fear. She gripped Denise’s hand tighter and forced herself to smile reassuringly.
‘The doctor had to turn the baby once before, but it could have moved again,’ Nick said with a frown.
‘Looks like it, but everything’s fine. We’ll get you through this, Denise.’
Another contraction gripped her, and she concentrated on her breathing before giving Bryan a grateful smile. ‘I’m glad you got here in time.’
Bryan winked at Denise. ‘I wouldn’t miss this for the world.’
To anyone else, Jill would have screamed a denial, but she felt Bryan’s assurance as a living presence. He would make it all right, she would stake her life on it.
The baby was doing just that, she realised. She made herself concentrate on blotting Denise’s forehead and bracing her when Bryan told her to push.
‘That’s the girl. Here we go,’ he said comfortingly. Denise gave a last mighty effort.
A sigh of wonder slid from Jill’s lips as she caught sight of the small body emerging into his hands. He swathed it in the towels he’d brought from the bathroom. The baby’s head still hadn’t appeared, and the concentration on his face told her this was a crucial stage. She held her breath.
Agonising moments later, Bryan held the baby on his lap and was clearing its airways with unbelievably gentle touches. The sight of the big outdoorsman cradling the tiny new-born baby brought a huge lump to her throat. She had never seen a more poignant sight. When a lusty cry rent the air, she couldn’t hold back her tears.
‘Congratulations, Nick and Denise,’ he said softly, his voice choked. ‘You have a beautiful little boy.’
Denise gave Nick a wavering smile as he leaned over to kiss his wife. ‘Well done, darling.’
Jill’s eyes met Bryan’s, and she was unable to disguise the powerful rush of love which radiated from every part of her being. ‘Thank you,’ she mouthed, her eyes wet.
There was a commotion at the door, and a man in his fifties burst in. Setting a medical bag down on a chair, he cast a professional eye over the scene and nodded in recognition to Bryan. ‘Practising medicine without a licence, McKinley?’
He grinned. ‘Your fees always were too high, Ned.’
Letting the doctor take over, Bryan steered Jill out into the hall. ‘I don’t think we’re needed any more.’
She gave him a teary smile. ‘Will Denise and the baby be all right?’
‘I’m certain of it. The baby is early, but that’s not a problem these days. The doctor will fly them to the hospital, where they’ll get the best of care.’
Even as he spoke, a uniformed sister pushed past them, her arms loaded with equipment from the flying doctor’s plane. ‘Radio conked out,’ she said apologetically as she passed them.
‘So that’s what it was.’
‘Oh, Bryan, if anything had gone wrong…’ Her voice trailed off as imagination took hold.
His arm came around her shoulder until he was supporting most of her weight. ‘It didn’t, which is all that matters.’
Although she had no right to it, the weight of his arm around her shoulders was warm and welcome. ‘No
thing went wrong, thanks to you,’ she said, her voice vibrant. ‘How many babies have you delivered?’
‘Counting this one? One.’
Her knees buckled and she clung to him. ‘But you knew exactly what to do. How did you—?’
‘One human baby and countless lambs, calves and foals,’ he added. ‘Birth is always a miracle.’
The greatest miracle was his handling of the crisis, she thought. She had never loved him more than at this moment, nor felt the distance between them so acutely. Wearily she pushed herself upright. ‘What a night.’
It was already half over. Tonight they had shared something wonderful, but it only served to remind her that it was all they could ever share. ‘Denise keeps guest rooms made up at the end of the hall. You’re welcome to use one,’ she said stiffly.
‘Thanks, I will.’ He sounded equally tense and distant. ‘I’ll have a shower first.’
What more was there to say? ‘Goodnight, then, and thanks for everything you did.’
His dark eyes became shuttered. ‘You did your share. Goodnight, Jill.’
She turned away as he headed for the shower. Some time during the evening, Tom had dumped her case in her usual guest room. A bed had been made up in the room next to hers, presumably for Bryan. An overnight bag stood on it. He must have thrown some things into it before coming to find her.
Without quite knowing what she was doing, she took a half-step inside, then another. In the next moment she was unpacking the bag, carefully smoothing creases out of a checked shirt she found crammed on top. Somehow the fabric found its way to her cheek and she pressed her face into it, enjoying the freshly laundered feel of it. Tomorrow he would wear it next to his skin.
A vision of him cradling Denise’s baby, so tiny and fragile in his strong hands, filled her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut as a spasm of intense longing gripped her. Longing for what—a baby? Bryan’s baby, she thought despairingly. Seeing him holding the new-born infant had awakened yearnings she thought she’d left behind for good in Bowana.
‘What are you doing here?’