“Really?” she asked, silently scolding herself for the strangled sound in her voice.
“Must say, it threw me, with you bein’ here, workin’ fer Doc Drake. He’s a good man, Ben is.” He slid his suddenly not-so-friendly, leering gaze up the length of her in a slow, rude manner. “He don’ strike me as the kind, but then—”
“The kind?” Callie backed up a step. She wished Ben would return. “The kind to what?”
“Oh, now don’t you start with that. You take me fer a fool, missy?” Pulling his hat from a slicked-down mat of bright red hair, he gave it a hearty slap against his leg, sending a cloud of dust into the freshly cleaned room.
Refusing to be intimidated, she braced her hands at her waist as she watched the dust settle. “I’m sorry, sir, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He turned his hat in his hands, a poor showing of teeth centered in his unsettling grin. “That sly dog, Ben. He must be gittin’ his money’s worth outa ya, huh?”
The coarse chuckle that erupted from his mouth made her cringe. She didn’t want to cower like a rabbit frozen in fear, but the way he looked at her… She’d been stared at with that greedy, predatory look before, when she’d been cleaning the saloon and brothel, and it had made her feel dirty.
Then it dawned on her…his meaning. She drew her hands into balls. Tried to still her quaking knees. Fought to calm her raging pulse as he gave her a slow nod.
“You for hire by others, too?” He quirked his eyebrows at odd angles over his beady little eyes. “’Cause it’s been too long since I had me a good-lookin’ woman like you.”
If what Ben had always believed was true, that children and animals were a good judge of character, then Callie surely passed with flying colors.
He watched as Luke angled a buoyant glance at Callie from beneath a mop of sandy hair, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Ben sat with them in front of the woodstove.
Ben braced his elbows on his knees, watching as Callie met Luke’s admiring gaze. The way she smiled at the boy, giving him her undivided, honest attention, made Ben’s throat grow thick. Luke might’ve been ten feet tall for the look of sheer pride on the boy’s dirt-smudged face.
It was good to see Callie smile. For the past two days she’d been more withdrawn. When Pete O’Leary had visited two days ago, he remembered walking into the room, finding her eyes wide and wary and her flushed, as if she’d just run a mile.
She’d shrugged off his show of concern afterward, chalking it up to being tired, though that did nothing to minimize the reservations tumbling through his mind and heart. If somehow he’d pushed too fast, and in doing so shoved her away, then he wanted to make things right.
Seeing her now, looking so relaxed and at ease, he dismissed the lingering uncertainty.
The boy had lugged his heavy crate of six-week-old kittens all the way over here—the third time this week—just to show them to Callie since she’d not met the little felines yet. The look of pride on the boy’s face as he slowly scooped up a slumbering kitten from the box was enough to make a grown man cry. And the sensitive way Callie responded to Luke made his heart surge with admiration. She was a natural with children.
Taking extreme care, Luke held up the black-and-white short-haired kitten. “I named this one here Mittens.”
“Oh, that’s a perfect name for her,” she cooed, trailing a fingertip down to the kitten’s tiny paws. “The white markings on her feet look just like mittens.”
“Yeah. She’ll be ready this winter.” With an endearing giggle, he carefully laid the kitten down into the bed of straw Ben had replenished just moments ago.
“How did you come up with the names for your kittens?” she asked.
“Easy.” He fluffed some of the straw around the sleeping kittens. “I ’membered hearin’ Ben prayin’ once for one’a his animals, and I got ta’ thinkin’…if’n God answered his prayers ’bout that, maybe He’d answer me if’n I asked Him ’bout names.”
Ben squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, sobered by the simple and complete trust Luke placed in him. Even when he felt like his faith in God was challenged, this young boy found enough faith to grab on to, to spur him toward believing.
“And this one’s named Fluffy.” Luke reached down into the crate and carefully lifted out a puff of gray fur as he glanced up hesitantly at Ben. “I know it sounds kinda girly and all, but with how puffy he is, that’s what fits ’im. Don’cha think?”
“Absolutely.” Ben gave a brisk nod. “You couldn’t have chosen a better name.”
“It’s a perfect name.” Callie cradled the ball of fur then nuzzled the downy softness. “He’s so soft, isn’t he?”
Wide-eyed, Luke observed Callie as if he’d never seen a woman fawn over an animal before. It didn’t surprise Ben one bit that Callie would be kindhearted toward animals. Watching her now with the kittens, the way she quietly cooed to them and gently pet them, he could see that she was likely as much of a soft heart as himself when it came to animals.
“I had a cat named Fluffy once.” Ben omitted the small fact that the cat had been a female.
“Really?” Luke’s eyes widened further.
“I sure did.” Ben slid one finger gently down the kitten’s head, inspecting his eyes and nose as he did. “This little guy’s eye infection seems to be healing up just fine. What do you think?”
Luke instantly scrambled to his knees, leaning over and peering at the kitten. “Yeah. I’m thinkin’ so, too. There ain’t no more stuff in his eyes.”
“You’re doing a good job caring for them, Luke.” Callie smiled at the boy then briefly swung her gaze up to Ben, making his mouth go suddenly dry.
When she looked away, he focused his attention down at the crate of felines again and drew out the biggest kitten in the box. “What about this little guy? His fur is almost like a panther, but with how fat his little belly is, he reminds me more of a black bear cub. What’s his name?”
Luke pulled his mouth to the side, staring at the kitten in Ben’s hands with a look of pure affection and pride. “That’s Benjamin.”
Ben’s heart tightened in his chest. A lump formed in his throat. When he stroked the tubby little guy, he realized that for some reason, Luke naming this kitten after him meant more than if an entire state had been named in his honor.
“And why did you call him that?” Callie asked softly.
Luke hitched his shoulders up. “Oh, I don’ know. I just wanted to, that’s all. Seemed like a good name for a little cat like him.”
The boy’s bashful response had Ben swallowing hard.
“Well, Benjamin’s certainly a nice-looking kitten.” Callie touched the kitten’s thick paws.
“You must be feeding them plenty. This little guy is as round as he can be.” Ben handed the kitten back to Luke.
“Yeah. I feed ’em four times a day, jest like ya said.” He lowered his head and touched his nose to the kitten’s. Then he shot his bright gaze up to Callie. “Ya know what?”
“What?”
“He’s really strong. He can almost climb out’a this here box already.”
“That’s quite an accomplishment for such a little one.”
With an adamant nod, Luke pulled the kitten to his chest, cradling it in a most tender way. “He’s prolly gonna be a real good hunter, too. And the way he’s always snugglin’ with the other kittens, I’ll jest bet he’s gonna make a good daddy cat. Don’cha think?”
“Yes, I’m sure he will.” Callie slid her gaze to Ben, the subtle look of appreciation he saw there taking him aback. “What about this little girl?” she finally asked, averting her attention to the last kitten.
“Oh, I named ’er Beauty.” Luke lifted the long-haired black-and-white kitten out of the crate and delicately handed her to Callie. “After you, Miss Callie.”
She gave an almost inaudible gasp as she cradled the kitten in the crook of her arm. “Aww…that’s so sweet, Luke.” She blinked hard, giving Luke’s hand
a squeeze. “So very sweet.”
“Thanks.” He cracked his knuckles, emitting tiny popping sounds into the quiet room.
The tender warmth that stole over Ben as he stared down at Luke and Callie took him by surprise. Never had he felt quite this way. It was almost as if he could picture himself as a father and a husband.
He’d been hard-pressed to get this young woman out of his mind. Found himself daydreaming about her when he had several reasons not to.
He couldn’t help himself. She unknowingly commanded his thoughts, even when she’d made a habit of avoiding his presence.
The tender gleam in her eye gave him pause.
“She’s the prettiest one in the bunch,” Ben agreed quietly.
Silently, he hoped that he could keep his head enough to notice if she decided to turn on him. But seeing her now, the genuine way she had with Luke, he couldn’t imagine her being so callous.
Chapter Nine
Callie…
The sight of her stole the breath from Ben’s lungs.
Securing the reins, he stepped up to his office porch, all the while reminding himself to breathe. He had to will his pulse to stop pounding through his veins as he took her in.
The color of her dress was so perfect for her that Ben was pretty sure God must’ve had Callie in mind when He created the emerald-green shade.
He gave a long, approving sigh. “You look very nice.”
“Thank you.” She met his gaze with a wobbly smile. Then fastened the last button of the heavy wool cloak he’d purchased for her yesterday. “And thank you again for the cloak. It’s very warm and more than suitable. I’ll pay—”
“Shh…” Ben gave his head a slow, steady shake. “You agreed you wouldn’t argue with me about this. Remember?”
She dropped her focus to the small reticule she held—compliments of Katie. “I must’ve been delirious.”
“I don’t think so.” Ben chuckled low. “You seemed perfectly in control of your actions and speech.”
When he prepared to help her up into the wagon, she pulled away. “I can make it just fine by myself.”
“I know you can, but you’re a lady and I’d like to help. All right?” He circled her waist with his hands and lifted, noticing that she didn’t feel quite as fragile as she had the night she’d come to him, almost a week ago. Once she was settled on the seat, he spread a thick wool blanket over her lap, silently thanking God for the progress she’d made.
It had been a whirlwind six days. Since she’d been up, she’d been as diligent and hardworking as anyone he’d ever known. And though he was getting her to open up a little, he had a feeling it’d be a long time before she’d trust him.
He’d promised himself that he’d not push her to open up too hard too fast, but the more time that ticked by, the harder it was to live up to his promise.
Situating himself next to her, he clucked his tongue to urge his horse along, waving to the bundle of folks in a passing wagon.
“I’m glad you decided to come with me today,” he said, glancing down at her. “It’ll mean a great deal to Katie to have you join us for dinner after church.”
“Are you sure it’ll be all right if I attend with you?” Her knuckles grew white as she clutched her reticule.
“Of course.”
She avoided his questioning gaze, her throat visibly contracting.
“Are you worried that you won’t be welcomed? Is that it?”
She traced a fingertip the length of the braided, draw-string cord closing her bag. “Not exactly.”
“Then what?”
She turned those beautiful eyes of hers on him. The depths of which made him seriously question his long-ago decision to remain a bachelor.
“It’s just that, well, a while ago I inquired after a job at an orphanage that was run by a church. They made it clear that they didn’t want me working with the children.” The faintest of winces contorted her delicate features.
“Why would they say something like that?” He swept his gaze over each of her lovely, sweet features. “I can’t imagine anyone turning you down.”
He hadn’t been able to turn her down. She had that certain look about her that pierced the heart. It wasn’t a piteous look, but he imagined it was a David-against-Goliath sort of look. He’d seen it in her from the get-go…a certain strength and courage to face the unknown.
“Did Max have anything to do with the minister’s perception of you?”
Her focus shifted downward. “He wasn’t looked upon very favorably. Wherever we ended up living,” she added discreetly.
“And being his wife, neither were you, right?”
Determined silence was his answer. The way she’d skirted the truth, as if she’d somehow dishonor Max, made Ben’s heart ache. He wondered if she felt like she had to protect Max’s memory by protecting his name.
“Ahh, Callie. I’m sorry.” Knowing how hard it must’ve been to be shunned because of Max, his heart broke for her. “I’ve seen the patient and loving way you interact with Luke. You would’ve been their best and brightest asset.”
He had to battle back the instant irritation that her words had triggered inside him. He was furious at Max, yet again, for not taking into account how his actions might affect others.
And he was furious at the way some people, in the name of God, could set up ridiculous standards that had nothing to do with God, and everything to do with their selfish desire to have a respectable club of sorts, instead of a family.
He struggled to tamp down his ire as he reined his horse to a halt in the wagon-packed churchyard.
“I didn’t tell you that for your sympathy. The last thing I want is your sympathy.” Brushing a hand over the wool blanket’s thick weave, her fingers trembled. “I just don’t want to cause any embarrassment for you or your family. That’s all. If you’d rather that I not attend with you, I’ll completely understand.”
Ben set the brake and faced her. Draping an arm on the seat behind her, he gave a brief nod to a lone straggler entering the church building.
“Listen to me, Callie…” He covered her hand with his, pleased that for once, she didn’t startle or pull away at his touch. “First of all, no one here knows that you were Max’s wife. They’ll find out sooner or later, but even if the whole town was privy to the information, it wouldn’t matter.”
At the faint strain of some hymn seeping through the thick, tall doors, Callie moved to get down from the wagon, but he pulled her back to the seat.
“You’ll be late.” A slight quaver undermined her usual calm reserve.
“It’s all right. I’m sure that God is every bit as much here with us as He is inside with the other folks.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and continued. “I’m sorry about what happened in the past, Callie. It was wrong, plain and simple. I can assure you that you’ll be welcomed here.” He nodded toward the church building.
Staring down at where his large hand covered hers, he felt an overwhelming desire to protect her like this and more. He wanted to help her trust again. To break through her protective barrier, allow her to spread her wings and fly.
But what if she refused his help?
And what if the niggling suspicion that had taken up residence in his mind was warranted? In the past two days he’d discovered that both his stethoscope and then some tweezers had come up missing. In five years of doctoring, he’d never, ever misplaced those things. He might lack for administrative and housekeeping skills, but he’d never been careless about the tools of his trade.
Though she might be tight-lipped about her past, there was nothing about her demeanor that would point to her being a thief. She was caring, patient and hardworking, just to name a few noteworthy attributes.
So what was he thinking?
He fought back the doubts and suspicions, ashamed that he could’ve made such judgments. He’d thought himself to be above such actions, but this whole situation with Callie had so far served to reveal a side of himself
he didn’t much like to see.
“You have to know that when that kind of judging and blame-casting happens, it has nothing to do with God.” At the faraway look in her eyes, he crooked a finger under her chin. Drew her half-shuttered gaze to his. “People can be cruel. But God…He’s never cruel.”
“I want to believe that,” she whispered, nibbling her bottom lip.
He wanted to believe it again, too. At one time he’d never questioned that. In spite of his mounting failings and regrets, he wanted to trust God. But could he ever forgive himself for the way he’d made a mess of things with Max? For the way he’d let his brothers down in their greatest time of need?
Had God brought Callie into his life as a way to make up for his failings with Max? Something about that idea didn’t quite sit right, deep down, but he couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed his mind more than once.
After a long moment, he instinctively reached out to pull a fallen leaf from where it had floated down to land in her hair. The backs of his fingers touched feather-light and ever so briefly against her cheek.
She slid an expectant gaze to him, the whisper of space between them resonating and humming from the simple touch.
When he held the bright yellow aspen leaf out to her, she took it from his hands, staring down at it and tracing the brown spots marring the brilliant yellow hue. “It’s always so sad, isn’t it? That things have to die?”
“It is. But if they didn’t, new life could never come forth.” Trailing a finger over the edge of the half-dried leaf, he smoothed his hand over hers. “It’s God’s way,” he said as much to himself as to her.
He relished the feel of her silky-smooth skin. Cherished the tender glimpse of vulnerability. It was small, but real.
The heated, searing sensations, as true and as warm as if he sat before a blazing fire, seeped from her fingers all the way up to his heart, belying the freezing temperature outside.
Its power affected him in ways that undermined his common sense. Tugged at his self-restraint. And upended his moral convictions.
Pulling his hand back, he hauled in a thick, steadying breath. Willed his heart to slow to a normal beat. It took every bit of summoned restraint to resist the urge to pull her into an embrace. His arms ached to hold her and drive away the shadows of her past. But she wasn’t ready for that.
Rocky Mountain Redemption Page 9