by Milana Jacks
I’d seen Dewlyn break down before, and Dewlyn did nothing halfway. If I hadn’t walked in on her one night before she ran off the first time, she’d have drowned in a pool of her blood in this very tub. I never wanted to see that again.
I plopped on the tile across from her and propped my elbow on the tub. “Tell me about this…this tea.”
“All my aunts and sisters and the other girls drink the tea before you guys pick us up. It takes a month for it to work and then we drink it for the rest of our lives so we don’t conceive.”
Too quiet. Dewlyn was too quiet. “And you didn’t like the tea?”
“No, it tasted like crap.”
“What’s in the tea?”
“I think it’s carrot root.”
I made a mental note to contact our bio team. “So that’s why your community needs a month to prepare.”
She shrugged, tugging on the ends of her hair, not meeting my eyes. “That and other things I don’t know about. It goes on in the white house on the edge of the community. Once bought, the pairs are separated from the community. I was under the impression my mom separated my paired aunts so they wouldn’t be distracted as she showed them the ropes. Housekeeping, the tech in the city, and sex. The pairs leave the white house with their mates, and they don’t return.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Tell you what, Vice?”
“That they butcher our mates!”
“They don’t butcher mates. Women do as they’re told. They drink the tea. They don’t know any other way. We’re conditioned from birth. All except me, of course. I don’t know why I’m like this, always wondering what’s out there. Besides, Vice, we live with men, not beasts. We’re told you are an animal breed. We’re told you eat people. We’re told you took our planet from us, and then we’re told to go and make you all happy. You have claws and fur. You have canines. It’s not attractive, and it’s scary. You are dominant, overbearing, possessive, and you do whatever you want with us. It’s the only thing parents can do. Not let you breed so that one day, you all die out and leave us humans be.”
“So that’s why you hate me?”
She looked out the window. “I don’t hate you, but I try to, and it’s easier when I remember watching your bike take off.” She snickered. “I’d’ve even worn the fugly dresses you bought for me. I would’ve painted my nails too. If you liked it and wanted me to do it, I would have done it. I’d have done anything for a man who took care of me. I would have given you those babies you want.”
This burned. Because I did ask her for babies more than once. “We don’t need babies.”
She sighed, still refusing to look at me. “Of course not,” she said.
“I mean it.”
“Beast’s pairs breed babies. It’s what pairs do. It’s not so different from humans. Like Mom, and Dad’s other wives. I have twenty-three siblings and more aunts than I can count.” She laughed, a little too hysterical for my liking. “I really am a boy.”
“You’re not a boy.”
“Let me go.” A plea. “There’s no future for us. I have no purpose with you. Maybe the mating was a mistake, and you just don’t see it. You recognized a mate, but I’m not the same girl I was the day you saw me. Try to get another mate. Let me go, hm?”
Another mate. I ground my teeth and muttered, “You’re mine.”
“It’s too late.”
Yes, yes, it was late, and it wouldn’t have made a difference if she told me before. She’d suffered, and it changed her, ultimately changing how she viewed the world and her future with me. At eighteen, she had just started to live. Dear Mother, hear me, I will roast them alive for this.
For Dewlyn, life was an all-in or all-out kind of deal. You either lived to the fullest, did everything you wanted done, or didn’t live at all. If she were to love me? I snorted. All that crazy force would be mine. But until then, I had to work with the Dewlyn I’d made. No mistaking, I made this of us. Now, I would lift her up a little, fix her, if not fix us. Hopelessness was a terrible state of mind, and my mate felt as if she didn’t have a say in her own future. An illusion of freedom was better than nothing, and it would buy us some time.
All set on my plan, I commanded the House and started filling up the bath. The warm water ran down the pipe, lifting vanilla-honey bubbles in the air. I lit a giant lavender candle and drew down the blinds. Dewlyn sighed in relief, welcoming the darkness. After her suicide attempt, she’d come back and lived to hate me. So be it. Her life meant everything to me. We’d make it, or we wouldn’t. I wanted her to love me, but I had to keep her breathing, so I opted for what I did best.
I removed my black belt and placed it over the sink. The metal snap clinked against the white ceramic. I watched her while I stroked the leather. “Out there”—I jerked my head to the giant window—“did you sprain anything?”
She lifted her middle finger.
“That finger’s gonna cramp one day.”
“I got another one.”
“Don’t defy me!”
Dewlyn lifted her head, alert now.
Good. “I can’t forget the image of you hanging from the fence. I want to fucking burn every tree in the City Park. You could’ve fallen down that fence and broken your neck. You don’t take care of yourself. You think you’re invincible. Parachute thrills for sports is one thing. Hopping the fence for no fucking reason other than to piss me off is another.” Yup, that should do it.
“It’s not all about you, Vice.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I think it is. I think you don’t spend a single day without thinking about me. That’s why you follow me around. I think you tried to spare me from having to deal with the fact I’ll never have kids. So you took it upon yourself to shoulder all that pain. Eventually, you grew angry with me. That pisses me off. You want choices, but wouldn’t tell me anything so I could make mine.”
“You left me there.”
“I did. There’s an agreement, and you were a month shy of your birthday. So I did leave you. I couldn’t have known what would happen. That’s beside the point.”
Dewlyn stood, swayed on her feet. My hands flew out to catch her, but she slapped them away and steadied on her own.
I smirked at my sweet broken fire.
“Beside the point?” she spat.
“Ah-ha. I said that, didn’t I?” I stepped closer, bent my head, and inhaled the smell of her rising anger. That’s my girl. Don’t be sad, get mad. “You are selfish.”
“Oh, oh, oh no, you di’int.” She bounced from one foot to another.
“Selfish and a coward.”
“Ain’t a coward. Take it back.”
“Coward. You want me to get another mate? I’ll get another mate.” I walked out and slammed the door on her.
Sure enough, Dewlyn open the door. “I told you not to leave me. I begged you not to leave me!”
I spun around.
She ran into my chest, looked up, and kneed me in the balls. Damn, that shit hurt. My jaw tightened.
She came at me again.
I skipped, caught her leg, twisted her around, and picked her up. I walked us back to the bathroom and into the tub. I restrained her wrists at the small of her back. She turned her head around. Her brown eyes burned with fury, and my cock hardened. I bent so I could whisper at her lips. “Tell me what I want to hear, baby, and I’ll give you what you want. I know what you want, and I’ll give to you. I swear it.”
“You lie. You said you can’t.”
“I promise.”
“I don’t believe you.”
I reached behind her neck and unsnapped her pairing collar. It fell in the filled tub. “There you go. But you’ll never be free of me, because I know and you know that I own your heart.” When she didn’t say anything, I slapped her ass. “You love me, baby. Say you love me.” Nothing. I slapped her ass again. “It makes you crazy you have no control over it. You’ve convinced yourself hati
ng me is a great thing for us.” I traced my fingers over her hip, down her lower belly, and paused them on her mound.
“I can’t seem to do shit like a girl,” she whispered in my ear. “My dad used to say I should’ve been a boy. And he’s right, you know. I never played with dolls, I never painted my nails, I never even brushed my hair, and I beat up all the kids in my class. I brawl, I dive, I can’t give you kids. I can’t do it. With you, I wondered what’s the point of me? There wasn’t any. With the shelter? I have a purpose.”
“All right. I gave you what you want. We’ll part like lovers. Let’s have a bath.”
I striped and she followed. Skin on skin, without clothes, I lowered us down, her back to me, my hand still on her mound. I wanted her to part her legs. “Baby, you’re the most curious person I know. Aren’t you curious how my dick would feel inside you? I know you like him.”
Her head rested on my shoulder, and she sighed but kept her legs closed. I thumbed her mound back and forth and put my other hand over her neck. At the gesture, she inhaled loudly and parted her legs. My fingers played with her small lips, twisted, turned, rubbed some over her entrance. “It’s okay if you hate me and want me at the same time. Say it’s okay.”
“It’s okay.”
“You are wet for me,” I said. “I’m gonna dip a finger inside.” I pushed in one finger and felt her tight walls clamp around it. “Go ahead and stroke my dick. It’s okay if you want to stroke him. He likes you too.”
Reaching behind her, she gripped it and thumbed my piercing. “It’s too big.”
“Oh, thank you, baby. It’s gigantic. Say, ‘Vice, you’re too big for my small hole.’”
Nothing. I peeled my gaze away from my finger moving in and out of her pussy to see a blush color her cheeks. I blinked, surprised, then smirked when she glanced at me. I kissed her cheek and snuck another finger inside her. That got me a whimper, but not enough. “Potty mouth Dewlyn doesn’t dirty-talk. It’s okay to talk dirty to me. What do you want me to do, hm?” I squeezed her neck. “Say it,” I said, a little more firmly this time. Arousal flooded her pussy, and my fingers began gliding inside. I watched them move, added a thumb to press her swollen bud.
“You’re too big for my small hole.”
“Thank you. I know, and I’m gonna work it open. Let go of my dick.” She did. “Now, help me out. Put your fingers on your clit and show me how you stroke it.”
Her fingers found her clit, and I watched them move up and down, at first slow and shy, but as I pumped her hole with two of my fingers, hers began to rub in earnest. Dewlyn’s head rested on my shoulder and her breath touched my ear, so I heard every tiny moan that escaped her mouth, and I heard the soft whisper that said she wanted me inside. I gripped her neck tighter and moved her body a bit to my left so she’d lean on the tub.
My right hand left her pussy so I could grip my dick and move the mushroom top over her little hole. I played my piercing over her entrance first until she released a…growl, almost. Patience was never her virtue. But it was mine, so I played and played, rubbed my dick over it, poked it with my fingers some more, pushed a little inside, then back out, pushed a little more, then back out until Dewlyn started to push back, moan louder, scratch my forearm.
“You want it, don’t you? You’re hungry for it. Say, ‘Please mate, give me your big dick.’” I squeezed her neck, then released it.
“Vice?”
“Hm?”
“I ache for you.”
I jerked my hips up and inside her. I contained my own growl at the feel of my mate’s pussy around my dick, at the smell of my mate’s arousal mixed with the lavender scent from the candle and at the sound of her moans and pleas. It took all I had not to jerk my hips more and submerge all of myself into her sweet fire.
Dewlyn gasped, and I swallowed it inside my mouth. Our tongues battled. Her blunt nails scraped my neck. A growl rose from my chest, my muscles bulged, as did my dick inside her. Half the length inside her was enough for her first time.
Dewlyn
Vice moved inside me, one hand over my throat and the other on my ass so he could watch himself glide in and out. It hurt, but when he told me to continue rubbing my clit, I forgot the pain and instead enjoyed the heat building in my belly. Patient as ever, Vice didn’t plunder or plunge or fuck. He teased relentlessly, and I wanted more. Confused and aroused, I uttered the first thing I thought of. “I’m not gonna break. Give it to me.” If he felt sorry for me, I’d know.
The last thing I needed from him was pity. The only thing I needed from him was a promise of freedom. He’d promised; after this night, he wouldn’t chase after me. It was all I wanted. And the edge, I wanted him to take me to the edge. Vice gave me my life back. He owned me, I was his pair, and I knew he released me because he was a good man, wanted to do good things for me. He understood we’d failed.
The red in his eyes paled. His fingertips tightened around my neck, and he began pumping me. Heat from lack of breath crept up my cheek, and I reveled in his manhood. It was big, strong, hard, and smooth, it pained and pleasured me, a complete contradiction. Kind of like Vice. He worked my body with care, and yet he choked me like he’d hurt me. Quite a match we made.
“I have restraints under the bed,” Vice said and lowered his lips to catch mine. I couldn’t answer or nod, my neck caught, my breath restricted, so he continued thrusting inside me, and I felt him almost at my belly. “I put them there for this very moment when you gave me your virginity. I dreamed I’d spread you open and tie you up so you couldn’t move. I wanted to lick your sweet pussy with my tongue. Like this.” He placed a kiss on my lips, then flicked them. “How would that feel on your clit right now, hm? You think you’d like the little laps? I think you would. I think you’re missing out on that. I’d devour that little pussy, feast on your wetness, jab my tongue inside it.” He flicked my lips again. “Feel that, hm? It’s a little rough, isn’t it? It would feel oh so good on your little clit.” He inhaled. “I smell how wet you are. Does it hurt, hm?”
He released my neck. I wanted his hand back. “It hurts. It hurts so much.”
He squeezed my neck again. Tighter.
“You like having control of my life. You love knowing you own me.”
“Shhhhh.” He squeezed me tighter.
“You like to hurt me with your big cock.”
A growl escaped his chest, and Vice picked up the pace, his hand gripping my neck in earnest. Pressure built in my throat and spread over my ears, then my eyes. I felt heat rush to my face, and I gasped, trying to inhale.
Vice pounded me, and I hung on to his forearm, still rubbing myself between my legs while his claws dug into my ass. I welcomed the stars that played over my eyes, and I began to relax. Every tight knot of hopelessness left my body, my muscles felt like goo, my hands fell to my sides, and the only thing holding my head up was Vice’s hand on my neck. I smiled up at him when heat rushed down my belly, and my pussy started to flutter around his cock. He must’ve felt it and pumped into me faster, jabbing one spot inside me that felt so good.
The blackness crept around the edges of my vision, and my eyelids fluttered closed. I swam in the dark for seconds, then swam back out when his hand released my neck. My orgasm hit at the same time, the force of it arresting my breath completely. It flushed down my body like a storm, and I gasped as air rushed into my lungs. When Vice’s orgasm followed, I could do nothing more than cling to the tub and listen to his labored breaths.
A minute passed as we came around, and then he moved us out of the bath. He got a towel and threw it around me, then tumbled us onto the soft bed.
Suddenly, I felt exhausted. I smiled up at him and touched his hard jaw. Silence blessed the room, and I listened to his heart pounding and his low growl, which came from his chest as I petted him.
“Thank you, baby,” he said.
“You promised you’d set me free.” And he’d taken off the collar.
“I don’t need a collar for you. You
are mine, and you’ll be back for more. Sleep.”
I worried my lip between my teeth, thinking he might be right.
Chapter Nine
Vice
When Dewlyn slept in our bed, in our house, in the safety of our neighborhood, my entire world slept. Even at eight in the morning, with the buzz of high traffic above Jamie’s home as our males prepared for the raid, when I looked down at her sleeping figure tangled up in our white sheets, my world felt peaceful. The last time I raided anything, or had even seen some action other than a brawl at the compound, was—I frowned and moved a stray hair away from her face—when Jamie and I had fought back at Tineya. Dewlyn had kept me busy during Rey’s community raid so I didn’t go. But this time, it was my turn.
I would never set her free, but I would give her freedom. It was all she’d ever wanted. Freedom. I could’ve hunted her down, I could’ve trapped her in this house, caged her, even, but all I’d get in return was a broken girl. I could’ve tamed her all I liked with my belt, my hand, my mouth on her pussy and she would, eventually, have accepted our life together. But a settled Dewlyn wouldn’t last. Tomorrow, next week, or a year from now, she’d unsettle. The steady lifestyle would get old for her.
My brother called her a wild card. Wild anything stayed wild, and forcing wild into submission would be a shame. But when the wild gave freely? I fisted the dick in my pants and moved the thing to the side. I wanted her to come to me. I wanted her to do this on her own. So I left her this house, where she’d be safe, and after the raid, I’d leave for New City. I feared if I kept hunting for her or if I caged her in here with me when she was determined to escape, she’d hurt herself running away from me. But I knew she must feel something for me; she hadn’t taken the collar off herself. It must mean something to her.
Her life was everything to me, and so I walked away. To Jamie’s. A brief walk, but it felt like a mile-long journey for me. I counted on Dewlyn seeking me out, but what if she didn’t? Would I hunt her down again? A week. I’d give it a week. As I climbed the driveway, I shook my head to clear it so I could deal with Jamie’s charming personality, colorful like Dewlyn’s. Probably why those two didn’t get along.