Orion rested a hand on Hamlin’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Lin. I’m sure she’s going to be fine. And I won’t tell anyone about this. I’m your oldest friend. I’m here to help you however I can.”
“Thank you,” Hamlin said, feeling unworthy of forgiveness. “I think I always knew you would understand. I suppose, I just didn’t want to bring you such disappointing news.”
“I’m glad you told me,” Orion said. “No man should have to carry such a heavy weight alone. We all make mistakes, Lin. You’re a good man. The errors in your life have truly been few.” Orion chuckled. “And I know you better than anyone in Banya, perhaps even your own mother. To tell you the truth, I’m relieved to hear you’re not as perfect as we all thought. You were making the rest of us look bad.”
Hamlin couldn’t help but laugh. “Thank you, old friend. You know how to make a rainbow appear amid the darkest clouds.”
Orion smiled. “What can I say…I have been known to light up a room or two.”
“So true,” Hamlin said. “So true.”
For a brief moment, his worries were lifted, but it didn’t last long.
“Well, in all seriousness,” Hamlin added, “it’s a relief to have someone to share this burden with. There isn’t anything more stifling than a terrible secret.”
Orion slapped his palm against Hamlin’s shoulder. “You’re Hamlin Fairbanks; you’ll figure something out.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Hamlin chuckled. “Now, I think we need to get back to the more important topic at hand—hunting down Voss Hastings. We need to appoint the most qualified person available to lead the team, to ensure that we’re able to take him down once and for all.”
“Did you have anyone particular in mind? I’m sure I could make a few recommendations.”
Hamlin grinned mischievously. “What about Jax?”
Orion stifled a laugh. “My son Jax? Surely you’re joking.”
“No, I’m quite serious. He’s been a key player in the success of several crucial missions over the last few years. You remember the incident in Mumbai, don’t you? His team would have been obliterated if it wasn’t for him. And you can’t ignore his contribution in Beijing last year.”
“Yes, I’m aware that my son has the capabilities to be a great agent,” Orion said. “When he’s not busy traipsing around the city avoiding responsibility, in search of his next thrill.”
“I think if given the opportunity, your son could excel as a leader in our organization. He has a certain quality about him that draws his teammates in. They listen to him.”
“With all due respect, Hamlin, I appreciate you considering Jax, but I don’t believe he’s ready for that kind of responsibility. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. And I’m afraid you’re too late anyway. He’s been assigned to a team that’s heading out to Moscow Monday night.”
Hamlin shrugged. “Well, perhaps you’re right, but I still think your son is being underutilized. Who would you recommend to take your place then?”
After a twenty minute debate on the subject, they finally came to an agreement. Orion called one of his men to relay the order back through the proper channels, also sending word to the Council that they had come in contact with the Ambassador, who was unharmed and would be in touch with them shortly.
Hamlin stood from the couch a moment later. “If you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time I check in on my daughter. It’s been almost an hour.”
Orion nodded. “I’ll wait here.”
Just as Hamlin made it across the room to the hallway, his legs stopped in place. Leena’s face appeared hopefully through the doorway.
“She’s awake,” Leena said. “And she’s asking to speak to you.”
19. EXPLANATION
I waited impatiently on the bed while my mom went to look for my father, still feeling sluggish. It was a strange feeling when I woke up, like only a split second had passed since I last saw my mother’s face. Yet, she insisted that I had been unconscious for almost an hour. My Watermark was still as clear as crystal. It wasn’t nearly as bright as it was during the healing process, but it continued to glow faintly from my wrist. When I pulled the Briolette from my pocket, it also had a hint of light still lingering inside the facets.
It must have been the stone that allowed me to heal my mother. Not only was it the largest Water Briolette ever known in existence, something had definitely changed it when I walked through the wall of the Threshold.
I stared at it in my hand appreciatively. This stone had saved my mother’s life. And maybe, if I kept it with me at all times, it would be strong enough to overcome my malfunctioning Watermark—if it was even broken anymore. A part of me wanted to believe that just by being on Ambrosia the last few days had been enough to fix my Water System completely. Or even the crazy event that took place when I crossed through the Threshold border could have fixed it. My mark did look different ever since it happened.
Either way, I knew I had to keep the stone with me at all times. Even the people with perfectly functioning Watermarks would eventually run out of Healing Water in their systems once they were away from Ambrosia long enough. Hopefully, this stone was meant to be a way for me to avoid that in the future, especially if I was meant to return to my life here long-term. Orion told me the Council would force me to forget everything about Ambrosia if I decided to stay, even Rayne, but there was no way I was going to agree to that. Just like there was no way I was going to leave my mother forever and choose to never see her again. I was determined to find a way to have both.
When I saw my father appear through the doorway, all the wavering energy inside me shot straight to the surface. “What are you still doing here?” I whispered angrily. “Didn’t you understand me before? You need to leave before someone sees you and starts asking questions. You need to go back and get this mess straightened out before it’s too late.”
“It’s okay,” my father said, shutting the door behind him. “I just spoke to Orion. He knows everything.”
“What?” I gasped. “Why would you do that? And when you say everything, do you mean everything?”
My father sat at the edge of the bed. “Orion is my oldest friend. I trust him with my life. When I say everything, I mean he now knows my relation to you and Leena. I’m assuming you also know what that is now...?”
I laughed without a trace of humor in my voice. “Yeah, I know who you are.”
He hesitated. “Um, good.”
“But I don’t want to talk about that right now,” I went on impatiently. “What I care about is helping Rayne. Won’t you get in trouble with the Council now that Orion knows you’ve been lying to them all this time? From what I’ve seen, they don’t exactly take this kind of thing lightly. Won’t that make it harder for you to help Rayne? I mean, I’m already under lock and key here because I had to basically out myself in order to keep them from sending Rayne straight to life in prison.”
“Yes, I know, and I’m truly sorry for what you’ve been through. I don’t know if it will be of any consolation to you, but Orion has already agreed not to tell the Council. Now that he knows the truth, we’ll have double the power on our side to help Rayne get released.”
“But, what about all the other guys listening in on us right now? How can we trust they won’t run off and tell someone everything we say?”
“Those men are loyal to Orion,” my father said. “They wouldn’t betray his trust. And each of them has sworn an oath to obey the orders of all members of the Council. They aren’t permitted to mettle in things above their pay grades.”
“That isn’t good enough,” I protested. “I don’t trust any of them. Now that Orion knows the truth, I want him to remove my tracker. You can convince him to do that, right? If he’s planning to help you change the Council’s minds, then surveilling me shouldn’t be necessary anymore.”
“Yes, you’re right,” he said with a subtle nod, “and Orion has agreed to pull back his investigation—unofficially.
The Council will still require some sort of explanation, even if it is a misleading one.”
My father looked down and shifted on the bed. “However, we’ve also discussed my concerns about yours and your mother’s safety. For now, I would feel better if we left the tracker in place as a means of protection. As long as Voss is still out there, we can’t be too careful. I’ve called a well-trained team out to track him down, but it could take some time to catch up to him. In the meantime, I have to go back and convene with the Council. They’re concerned by my disappearance. Orion has agreed to keep both you and your mother safe for me while I’m away.”
I’d barely had a chance to talk to my father, and he was already planning to leave again. The anger and hurt feelings pushed their way to the surface.
“And I’m just supposed to trust Orion completely because you told me to?” I said. “Isn’t there a better way to go about this? I mean, can’t you arrange for us to go hide somewhere, where no one would be able to find us? Wouldn’t that be a better way to keep us safe until Voss is out of the picture?”
“I’ve thought about that myself,” my father said. “But I don’t think it’s the best idea for your mother right now. She may be up and awake, but she’s still fragile. I think the best thing for her is to feel like her life is getting back to normal again. She needs you to help her do that. I think it would be good for both of you to spend some time together right now.”
I couldn’t control my scoff. “Oh, I see, because now that you’ve known us for more than ten seconds, you suddenly know what’s best for us…”
“Sadie, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
“No, don’t worry about it,” I added dismissively. “We’ve been on our own for this long; I’m sure we’ll find a way to manage.”
My father tilted his head knowingly, as if expecting the animosity. He stood and moved away from the bed. “Actually,” he said, “maybe it would be best if I waited until tomorrow to leave.”
“Why? Do you think that one day can somehow make up for years of abandonment?”
I had longed for the day I would meet my father, pictured myself running to his arms, feeling nothing but happiness and relief. For some reason, I just couldn’t embrace that now. It hurt so much more than I ever imagined it would.
My father stared down at his hands, keeping his distance across the room. “Sadie, for what it’s worth…I really am sorry…for everything.”
I looked up at him, but words wouldn’t come. I wasn’t ready to give them back yet.
He paused and took a breath. “I recognize that most of the negative things in your life are directly related to me. I admit that outright. And I don’t expect you to forgive me anytime soon. I just want you to know that, if there was a way to go back and fix all this, I would do it in a heartbeat. You may not believe me, but… I love you.”
I had to close my eyes to restrain the tears from flooding out. I had waited so long to hear him say those words, but after all this time, I couldn’t believe they were true. My voice grew weak. “How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”
It hurt too much to even look at him, paralyzed by the open wound in my chest.
After a long silence, his tentative words wavered through the air. “Um, I think I’ll go have a talk with Orion. We can have his men ease back on the surveillance.”
Before I could even think of anything to say, I heard the gentle click of the door, and I knew my father was gone.
My face wrinkled, tears trickling down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure which part hurt more, having to face the man who left an empty hole in my heart over the last seventeen years, or my own regrets for not having the courage to forgive him.
I probably spent another thirty minutes in my mom’s bedroom alone, analyzing the conversation with my father and trying to get my emotions under control. But, I finally decided to show my face again. I missed my mom and we’d barely had a chance to talk since I came home. It would be nice if we could spend some time together, maybe go out for some lunch and get some fresh air.
When I poked my head into the living room, I stopped and watched from the corner of the hallway. My mom was sitting on the couch with my father, appearing to be in the middle of an intense conversation. I flipped my back against the wall so they wouldn’t detect me, focusing intently to see if I could hear them.
I heard my father’s voice first. “I know you’re worried, but everything’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t understand why any of this is happening,” my mom whimpered back.
“Leena, listen, there is a good explanation for all of this, but it’s going to be a lot to take in. Are you sure you can handle it right now?”
Mom’s voice shook. “I know that everyone is worried that I’m about to break at any given moment, but I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t know how to explain it, I just feel stronger. Sadie needs me right now; I can sense it. And I can’t fully do that for her unless I know the truth.”
Was my father really going to tell her? Would my mom be able to handle the truth about his reason for leaving? I almost wanted to jump out from the hallway and shout, No! Stop! Save yourself from the pain! But at the same time, it would be nice to be freed from keeping so many secrets from her all the time.
“Okay,” my father said quietly. “I’ll tell you.” He paused to take a breath. “I…work for a top-secret government organization. It’s totally legit and for a good cause, nothing illegal or anything, but I couldn’t tell you about it. I wanted to, but it was for your own safety. That’s why I had to leave. I thought I was protecting you. And I knew I couldn’t be there for you completely, the way I wanted to be, the way you deserved.”
After a moment of contemplation, she finally answered, “I think I always knew it was something like that.”
Well, that was sort of the truth, I thought to myself. I guess my father was trying to ease her in gently. It was probably better for my mom anyway.
“Truthfully,” my father continued, “if I had known about Sadie sooner, I would have come back. I would have found a way to leave everything else behind. I just didn’t know until it was too late. By the time I even realized she existed, she was already seven years old. I had some business in the area, and once I was here, around all the memories that reminded me of you, I couldn’t control myself from coming to look for you. You weren’t hard to find, especially since you had moved into your parent’s house.”
I could hear the tears forming behind my mother’s words. “You came to find me?” she said. “I had no idea…”
“I know,” he replied with a catch in his throat. “I wanted more than anything to speak to you, be with you, but I just couldn’t. When I saw that you had a daughter, I swear that with one glance I knew she was mine. You both looked so happy. I didn’t want to disrupt the life you had created for yourself. I had some heavy responsibilities weighing on my shoulders and I knew that if I got involved in your life, there was a good chance that trouble would follow. I couldn’t do that to either of you.” He sighed regretfully. “But, it appears I have succeeded just the same. I’ve brought inexcusable heartache into your life, and I would do anything to beg for your forgiveness.”
“I always wanted to believe there was some crazy explanation for you leaving so abruptly,” my mom whispered. “I wanted so badly to believe that you loved me.”
My father’s tone grew intense. “I still do love you, Leena. I never stopped loving you.”
A long silence filled the air.
I finally gave into the urge to sneak a look inside the room. I flinched immediately. They were kissing. My parents. My mother and my father, who were speaking to each other for the first time in eighteen years, were now locking their lips in an embrace right before my eyes. My heart beat erratically in my chest. I had no idea if I was horrified, or insanely ecstatic just thinking about the possibilities.
My father pulled away to speak, and I yanked my head back behind the corner.
“Nobody knows this yet,” he said softly, “but I’m seriously considering retirement soon. I wasn’t sure before, but after agonizing over you for the last four days, I’ve had a chance to do some soul-searching. They’re expecting me to sign on for another eight years of service, but I feel like this might be the right time to move on. I’ve devoted a lot of years to their cause; I think I’ve made all the difference I can there.”
“Then what would you do?” my mother asked.
“Well, I was hoping if I could find a way to make it work, that I might come back and stay here with you…”
For whatever reason, I couldn’t stand to hear another word. This was like, the dream of every kid with separated parents, to see their parents make up and unite their family back together, wasn’t it? So why did my heart still ache so horribly? My father was saying all the right things, all the things I had wanted to hear for years, but I just couldn’t take it. How could I trust the things he was saying were even true?
I gulped back a new set of tears and charged back to my bedroom. I was so relieved when it was empty. The last thing I needed to deal with was one of Orion’s guards.
I rolled onto my bed and hugged a pillow to my chest. Even if my father was telling the truth, even if he returned now and stayed forever, it wouldn’t fix anything. It wouldn’t change the fact that he had missed every birthday, every dance recital and volleyball game, every night as a child when I needed him to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. No matter how many regrets my father could express, or plans he could make for the future with my mom, he could never give those missed opportunities back to me. I wasn’t sure I could ever forget that.
I rolled onto my back and tried to gain my composure. I had to just vent it out and move on. I didn’t know what else to do. At least I could take a minute to appreciate that I was back in my own bed again. I soaked in the familiar ambience of my bedroom. Everything reminded me of my old life, the normal one, where teenagers went to school, and worried about friend-drama and physics tests. It was hard to believe I had only been gone a few days. It felt more like an eternity had passed by in the blink of an eye.
Ambrosia Shore (The Water Keepers, Book 3) Page 16