“I understand, sir. I would have done the same thing.”
“We have a team working night and day to track Voss down again,” Hamlin said. “But up to this point, they’ve been unsuccessful. I can hardly sleep at night thinking what he might do next. I wanted to move Leena and Sadie both to a secure location, but I’m afraid I was out-voted on the matter.”
Hamlin’s brow pinched together as sorrow cut through the lines on his face. Rayne didn’t answer, but he understood the frustration, struggled with the same sense of helplessness as the mentor he loved. Rayne needed to protect Sadie like he needed oxygen, an involuntary response that couldn’t be shut down. But his hands were tied. And he could hardly breathe.
Hamlin continued to stare away, as if it caused him physical pain to look at Rayne’s face. “I have many regrets from my past,” Hamlin said, “beginning from the moment I gave in to my selfish desires to make Leena a part of my life, when I knew there would be consequences. Since then, I’ve caused nothing but heartache to everyone I care about, including you, Rayne.” Hamlin finally turned to meet Rayne’s gaze, voice faltering. “I want you to know that I’ve always thought of you like a son. I wasn’t here for you when you needed me, and I will bear that shame for the rest of my life.”
“No,” Rayne protested, “you did the right thing. I don’t blame you for choosing to stay with them.”
Hamlin’s eyes fell closed. “I’m beginning to think I should have stayed with them years ago, the moment I realized Sadie was my daughter, before I dragged you into my mistakes. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but now I’m not so sure.” Hamlin sighed to himself. “But one cannot change the past.”
“Sir, you sacrificed a lot, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile. The people of Ambrosia will be forever grateful for your service.”
Hamlin shook his head, holding back a humorless laugh. “Well, the people may feel differently soon.”
Rayne’s brow creased. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Hamlin hesitated. “Rayne, I’m…I’m afraid I come bearing bad news. The last few days, I’ve been in countless meetings with the Council. Things aren’t looking good.” Rayne could practically see the lump in Hamlin’s throat as he spoke. “I’ve given it a great deal of thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that now is the time for me to come clean about my past, about everything. If I make it clear that your actions were entirely under my command, I can take full responsibility and ensure your release. I’m planning to set up a private meeting with Zieg Thompson later today.”
Rayne’s eyes went wide with concern. “No, you can’t do that. There has to be another way. What exactly did the Council say?”
Hamlin threw up one of his hands in frustration. “Well, amid our many discussions, I spent a great deal of energy working as an advocate in your favor, but it appears that my efforts have not been received the way I hoped. Instead, my many pleadings have been construed by members of the Council as an excess of personal bias. A motion was made, and the majority agreed to pull my vote from your hearing entirely. I will be permitted to attend, but I won’t have any say on the outcome, in the least.”
Rayne didn’t answer right away, taking a moment to let it sink in. He finally said, “Isn’t there hope that the Council will still rule in my favor?”
“I’m not sure,” Hamlin said weakly. “At this point, I feel it could go either way. I’ve never seen the Council so divided on an issue that could weigh so heavily on the reputation of the Keeper program. You being the very face of the program, I expected them to agree full-heartedly to show leniency, but it looks as though feelings have changed on the issue in recent months. The support of the Keeper program is dwindling, even among Council members. The only thing we may have working in our favor is a report I brought back with me, written by Orion. Did Sadie mention his involvement to you?”
“Yes, sir. She filled me in. What did the report say?”
Hamlin shifted in his chair. “The report states that Orion has found everything about Sadie’s testimony in the Court to be true, that she has an established life on Earth with an unmarked mother, and that, up to this point, there hasn’t been any evidence to suggest she would be a threat to Ambrosia.”
“Do you think it will be enough?” Rayne asked.
Hamlin took in a long breath. “I don’t know. It may be enough to prove your motives weren’t treasonous, but judging by the way things are going, it won’t be enough to persuade them to discount the other charges. Perhaps it could save you from exile, but most likely you would still be sentenced to several years in prison, and you would be stripped of your rank as a Water Keeper indefinitely.” Hamlin paused, exhaling as if he didn’t deserve the air. “I have failed you, Rayne…from the moment I asked you to take part in this assignment.”
Rayne’s mouth went dry. “Sir, that’s not true. No matter what comes of all this, I will never regret the choice I made to help you. And it was my choice. You didn’t force me into any of this. Despite the risks, I said yes to you all those years ago, because I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do; for both the people of Ambrosia and for Sadie.”
“Thank you,” Hamlin said. “But I never meant for you to take upon yourself such a terrible sacrifice in exchange.”
“Sir, taking Sadie through the Threshold saved her life. I will never regret that. I would suffer a thousand lifetimes in exile if it meant giving her the opportunity to live on in my place.”
Hamlin’s eyes glistened with gratitude. “Your devotion to my daughter is more than a father could hope for. I am forever in your debt.”
Rayne rested his hands on the table, leaning forward. “Sir, I think there’s something you should know. Taking Sadie to Ambrosia actually saved her life more than once. When we were at the Sacred Pool she found a Water Briolette, the largest I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure why she didn’t tell anyone, but something happened, something worse than she led you to believe, with Voss on the roof the other night. He shot her…in the head. The Briolette was the only reason she survived.”
Rayne watched as Hamlin’s last bit of confidence diminished completely, his eyes turning red with emotion, unable to speak.
“Sir, I’m telling you this not to increase your despair but to convince you that any consequences I might have to endure…were worth it. Sadie continues to survive every terrible ordeal that comes her way, and if I had to go back, I would make the same choices, break the same rules, in order to make sure that didn’t change.”
Hamlin shook his head. “As your mentor, and friend, I cannot let you take punishment, whatever it may be, simply for doing my bidding. I’ve let this all go too far. It’s time to make things right.”
“Sir, we have to take into account that Sadie is also under the Council’s scrutiny right now. Anything we say or confess about the past or any of our wrongdoings could affect her future. At least let me talk to the Council myself before you do anything we might regret.” Rayne stared expectantly into Hamlin’s eyes. “I want to thank you for trusting me all these years to protect your daughter, and thank you for caring enough to want to protect me as well. Please, just give me one more chance to try and do the same thing for you.”
Hamlin gazed back in silence, air weighing heavy across the room. “Okay,” he said weakly, “I’ll wait. But there’s something else you need to know. Your hearing has encountered another complication. After your arrest was leaked to the press, the people became restless.”
“I know,” Rayne said. “Sadie told me about the protesters.”
“Yes, well the situation has escalated,” Hamlin continued. “I made a public statement as soon as I returned; basically confirming that charges have been presented against you, but no conviction has been made. I stated clearly that you were to be deemed innocent unless proven otherwise by the Council. However, several activist groups have since then submitted petitions signed by thousands of citizens, all requesting that your hearing be converted to a p
ublic trial by jury.”
“Was the motion granted?” Rayne asked.
“Only in part,” Hamlin explained. “They denied the request for a jury, but in order to appease the public’s concern, they agreed to make the hearing a publicized event. Any official business regarding your case will now be televised and open to the public. The Council will maintain its right to private deliberation before making a final ruling, but if you go before the Council to state your case and be questioned, it will be before all Ambrosia.”
Rayne inhaled slowly, swallowing the fear. “I understand,” he replied. “How soon will I be allowed to testify?”
“One week from today. They need time to make arrangements with media outlets.”
“Okay, I’ll be ready,” Rayne said.
Hamlin hesitated. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” Rayne said. “I’m sure.”
Hamlin leaned forward across the table, speaking low but with urgency. “If anything starts to get out of hand when you’re up on the stand, I want you to tell them the truth about everything. Will you at least promise me that?”
Rayne stared back but couldn’t respond. It wasn’t a promise he was sure he could keep.
Hamlin spoke again. “Promise me, Rayne. I can’t walk out this door until you agree that you will not lie down and take the blame for me in that courtroom.”
Rayne closed his eyes and relented. “Yes, sir. I promise.”
But a few minutes later, as he walked quietly behind the Court guard, dragging his feet back to his cell, Rayne wondered if he could actually go through with it. If he got up on that stand and it escalated to the point where Rayne knew he would be found guilty, could he actually force the words out of his mouth; words that could ruin the one person he respected more than any other man, aside from his own father?
Rayne cared more about protecting Hamlin’s honor than he did for his own. Hamlin was a great leader, a great man, who had sacrificed more for the common good than the people of Ambrosia could ever understand. Hamlin may have suffered a lapse of judgment when he met Leena, let his emotions rule over his duty, but simply falling in love with the wrong person, in the wrong part of the universe, no longer felt like a defensible crime in Rayne’s eyes.
He understood with almost perfect empathy. And once Rayne had crossed that line, there was no going back, no turning it off. The bond from the Healing Water only made it stronger. Rayne would never understand how Hamlin managed to leave Leena in the first place. He must have truly believed she would be happier without him. How else could he have found the will to go on without her?
Hamlin gave sixteen years of leadership and guidance to his people as the Ambassador, and before that, several decades of his life as a loyal Water Keeper. Yet, it didn’t seem to be enough to erase the regret Hamlin now suffered for giving up all those years of happiness with Leena, or the countless moments he missed from Sadie’s childhood. Rayne hoped he would never have to suffer the same regrets.
Then again, it hardly made sense to compare himself to Hamlin. Rayne would certainly never be the Ambassador. The people of Ambrosia would never look to him for such significant guidance and protection. Many of them knew Rayne’s name, but only because the Council and the press told them they should. He was nothing but a farm-boy from the outskirts of town. His name would be forgotten the moment it disappeared from the news. The only thing Rayne would accomplish in his life that would mean anything at all, was to protect Sadie. And he knew he couldn’t do that from prison.
As the guard ushered Rayne through the metal bars back to his cell, the edges of Rayne’s heart pulled in two separate directions. If he wanted a chance to be there for Sadie, to protect her and love her, spend the rest of his life by her side…he would have to betray the one person who gave him the opportunity to be a part of her life in the first place.
A cold voice suddenly cut through Rayne’s thoughts. He glanced up, distracted.
Ash walked up to the bars and leaned against the side. “Shouldn’t you be a free man by now? I thought your troubles were all supposed to disappear the moment Hamlin walked through that door.”
Rayne took in a sharp breath. “There’s been a complication.”
“Why am I not surprised,” Ash replied dryly. “Oh right, because I tried to warn you that this would happen. You and your sweet tender heart just didn’t want to believe me.”
Every muscle in Rayne’s face went tight, clenching jaw and cheeks and eyes. “This wasn’t Hamlin’s fault. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if we all followed our steps backward, we’d find that most of them lead to one person...Voss Hastings.”
Ash slammed his fist against the bar. “If you don’t shut up about my father, I’m going to reach inside that cell and mutilate your face until the Healing Water can’t make sense of how to fix it.”
“Can’t you even turn off the anger for one…second? I can’t take your constant stream of loathing anymore.”
“Well, maybe if you stopped being so relentlessly annoying, we could all get along a little better.”
Rayne paced to the far corner, finding his control. Then he turned slowly. “What happened, Ash? After all that we’ve been through together, why do you hate me?”
Ash grumbled under his breath. “Do I really have to say it, yet again?”
Rayne clamped his fists. “Don’t try to tell me it was my run-in with your father on the balcony. I don’t believe you.” Rayne charged forward, moving up in Ash’s face. “There’s something else eating away at you, something you’re not telling me or not admitting to yourself. What is it Ash? Why do you hate me?”
Ash burst forward, eyes wild. “Because you’re a constant reminder of everything wrong with me! It’s like a pile of mud trying to be friends with a fluffy white cupcake. Nobody wants the mud, Rayne. Nobody.”
“But you’re not mud. That’s what’s so infuriating.”
Ash’s jaw trembled. “Name one person who actually cares what happens to me, one person. And I don’t mean my dead mother, or you and your perfect little do-good attitude.”
Rayne looked down, went quiet.
“Exactly,” Ash muttered. “You can’t think of anyone because there isn’t anyone.”
Rayne hesitated. “Maybe there could be…if you let them. If you gave someone a reason. You just have to stop pushing people away. You have to stop pushing me away.”
“I have to, Rayne. Don’t you get it? If I don’t push you away, you’re going to get sucked down with me. Your old life full of sunshine and roses is already falling apart…and it’s because of me.” The anger on his face fell to piercing guilt. “I hate myself, Rayne. I hate myself. I don’t understand why you care. You shouldn’t care. If I let you back in, I’m going to ruin you, too.”
Rayne watched in disbelief as his oldest friend broke down into pieces. For the first time in his life, Rayne witnessed stains of tears down Ash’s face.
Ash turned to hide his eyes, crumpling down, pushing out a wounded, trembling voice. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Sadie…her mother, the doctor… Hamlin… You…” Ash turned, forcing himself to look in Rayne’s eyes. “I’m…sorry.” His body fell to his knees as he whimpered, “I’m sorry…”
30. THE PLAY
My mind jumped into consciousness, torso springing upright from the bed. Morning light streamed through the space across my bedroom, but the dream, the dream about Jane’s diary felt like only seconds earlier. I remembered everything with clarity—the glow from my Watermark all around me, the feeling of being guided across the room, the page in the journal where it had finally landed after fanning wildly across my hands. Page sixty-three.
It was so real, so vivid it didn’t feel like a dream.
I plunged from the bed, wide awake, and went straight to the shoebox in the closet. The leather journal was right where it was supposed to be. I pulled it out from under the stack of notes and flipped feverishly through the pages. Page sixty-three. Pa
ge sixty-three. The number repeated through my head as I searched.
I found it. Page sixty-three. My fingers stopped, eyes scanning across the top of the page. With beating anticipation, I began to read:
4 April 1643
Discussion persisted through the course of the morning among those of us on the Council, this being the seventh day of our dialogues regarding our interactions with the homeland. The division between Council members is sorely evident, yet my William made great effort to persuade those present in favor of continuing contact beyond the Threshold. None would argue that my husband is a man of unwavering devotion to his cause, and his unending charm rendered most unable to refuse his petition. In an effort to reach an agreement pleasing to both parties, we together presented a new scenario not yet heard in the proceedings, the prospect of which was made known to me through a vision only one night past as I slept most comfortably and soundlessly in our bed.
The vision revealed to me, most distinctly, that our people were not to forsake those left behind to the infirmities now in our past, but to minister to them a part of our good fortune, whilst, in effect, remaining concealed from their view. This as a precaution and protection to those young ones now being born with the mark of the Healing Water, who are now, each one, found to be born with a dependency and cannot leave this land without facing certain death.
When I spoke of this vision to William, he also knew the idea to be truth, and went straightway to his study to find inspiration. Thus, the program we presented today to the Council, the program of the Water Keepers, was created through revelation, as well as my husband’s careful planning and design, giving new purpose to our journey and the settlement of this most awe-inspiring land. Even now, my heart stirs as my pen moves. This is but the beginning of a wide and wondrous work, a destiny that shall expand through time and bring forth miracles for generations. Indeed, a peaceful voice whispers to my soul, that the future prosperity of this world shall spring forth through the hands of the Water Keepers.
Ambrosia Shore (The Water Keepers, Book 3) Page 25