“Of course they tried to edit out everything past the spanking, in the name of journalism. More like ratings,” Amanda huffed with an indignant wave of her hand, sitting straight up in her chair and leaning forward, closer to Holly. She had never really spoken about the incident at length with anyone, beyond what she was programmed to say by public relations advisers on retainer. But with Holly, Amanda felt safe. Holly was getting to know Amanda now, after Amanda had lived through it and grown from it. Everyone else had witnessed the meltdown, and since then, Amanda had spent the majority of her time with Chase.
“But people found it so damn romantic; it sort of took on a life of its own. We got a lot of mail saying that folks were tired of being forcefed scandals. That Chase had never been anything but a perfect role model to kids and grown-ups alike, and it was a disgrace that people were trying to make him look like a batterer at worst and a pervert at best. We got a lot of support, even if we are a little kinky. That’s why we don’t fight so hard to get it pulled off the Internet.” Amanda couldn’t hold back the subsequent giggle. “And it was awfully romantic. Seeing it, you know? Not that I thought it at the time. Chase really has a romantic streak a mile long. He also just happens to be one of those old-fashioned Neanderthal types who really enjoys whacking ass. But he even does that in this romantic, I-care-about-you-so-much way. No one was more surprised than me. He tapped into a part of my sexuality I didn’t even know existed. I’m not sure I can explain it. The feel of him getting turned on while I’m over his lap squirming and wiggling is a total rush. My only regret was taking off, leaving him to clean the mess up alone.” Amanda paused, thoughtful, and then sighed. “I was just so ashamed, not by Chase per se, but by the violation of our privacy, something I felt he should have been more careful to protect. I mean, I was nobody. The only reason it was news was because it was Chase. I wanted to blame him for not knowing we were someplace where we could be seen. I couldn’t bear the thought of people judging me. Of making a twisted joke out of a relationship I was just getting used to navigating. He told me he would take care of it, and he did. I should have just trusted him.”
“But it wasn’t about him and you at that point,” Holly reminded her. “You said yourself, it had taken on a life of its own. I read some of the comments on that YouTube clip, and most of those folks were downright creepy.”
Amanda leaned back into her chair, shrugging. “That’s what helped me get over it actually. Have you ever seen some of the shit you can find on the Web? Don’t even get me started on all the women who began to harass Chase about their willingness to take my place. He got e-mails and offers that made him sick to his stomach. And he’s hardly a choirboy. Chicks wanting him to do the most outlandish and perverse things to them. Once I realized the broad spectrum of depravity out there, I figured we were actually pretty normal and tame. That is, after I got over the horror of thinking strangers were going to point at me and laugh.”
Getting laughed at. I feel like that all the time, Holly thought, secretly amazed and relieved that she really did have something in common with someone like Amanda. Of course, that was where the similarities ended. From just watching that video, it was easy to see that Amanda knew passion, in every sense of the word, something that was as foreign to Holly as attractiveness. She would have loved to learn more, but to question the woman on her sex life would be tacky, regardless of how willing Amanda was to talk about it.
“Still, it had to have been hard,” Holly said slowly. “I felt intimidated just by the people looking at us having dinner the other night, and I knew they weren’t looking at me. But then again, I’m not much of a people person to begin with. Eventually I may have to make some changes and at least find some work, for mental health reasons if not financial ones. Luckily, I have the luxury of some time, and I plan on taking more of it. Not that I really have much of a choice. I can’t see anyone hiring me any time soon. I’ve been out of the work loop for a long time, not to mention my social graces are sorely lacking.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Holly,” Amanda told her with sincere empathy. “I’ve never experienced such a loss; just the thought of something happening to Chase could throw me into a panic. You don’t bounce back from something so awful overnight.”
“I appreciate your compassion, but I should probably tell you, I gave up on people after I became a widow.”
“That’s a bunch of crap,” Amanda replied, waving her hand again. “I would never find myself so at ease with a social leper. You’re recovering from a horrible life-altering experience. It takes time. And you’re not running for office or in a popularity contest, so why should you go one step out of your way to make jerks like you? We’re a lot alike, you know. Choosy about who we let in. There’s nothing wrong with it. I just have to put up a better front of friendliness because of my husband. I only have a few real friends. Once I let Chase win me over, a lot of my friends wandered off. Some were jealous; some just got on with their own lives.”
“And some people just suck,” Holly added.
“True enough!” Amanda laughed and then casually segued to the next topic. “But even Chase is careful about who he lets get really close to him. Sure, he’s outgoing and a team player and has a lot of people who answer to him, but he’s been burned a few times. Aside from me and our families, the only person he really trusts is Logan.”
Holly’s posture changed. Her eyes widened and she looked down at her own hand, nervously playing with the plastic lid on her coffee cup. Bingo.
The mere mention of his name started giving Holly butterflies. Deep down inside, in places she’d never had them before. Places she never knew existed. She had no business having butterflies anywhere when it came to the likes of Logan. But Holly didn’t want to pretend she felt nothing about Logan anymore. She wanted to explore the crush, learn everything there was to know about him. Even the things that would hurt to find out, like his obvious preference for tall skinny blondes. She wanted to share the giddy rush she got just hearing his name spoken out loud. And if anyone could shed some light on the man who was boggling her mind, it was Amanda. But could Amanda be trusted, or would she demolish the fantasy by telling Holly she should set her sights elsewhere?
“He really is a great trainer.” Holly’s inadvertent sigh of longing escaped, poorly hidden in a statement that had no bearing on the conversation.
Amanda pretended she didn’t notice. “He’s the best out there. He continues learning. He’s forgotten more than most trainers will ever know. He’s got this holistic approach that athletes just thrive on. He could be booked twenty-four hours a day if he wanted to be. He must have really seen something in you if he took you on. He hasn’t been willing to fit in a new client in forever!”
“Really?” Holly asked, a bit bewildered yet unable to stop a smile from forming at the thought that Logan actually may have lied to her to get her to work with him. “When I met him and he offered up his service, he told me he was trying to drum up business.”
“Drum up business? He hasn’t had to solicit new business in years!” Amanda practically squealed with amusement. “See? Like I said, he must have really seen something in you. And he must have been right by the looks of you. At least I’m guessing he’s right. I mean, no offense, but your clothes look like you stole them off a hobo. They don’t even look like they belong to you.”
“I-I know,” Holly stammered, looking down again, but this time at her old worn-out clothes. “I didn’t think it was worth getting new stuff yet. I still have so much farther to go.”
“That may be true, but guess what, Holly? We’re all works in progress. You should be willing to reward yourself for your effort today. What are you waiting for? Besides, you’re paying good money for all this training; it’s almost an insult to both you and Logan to not show off the results.”
“I don’t even know where to start,” Holly confessed sheepishly, unwilling to tell Amanda her latest shopping trip was to Target, where she spent twenty-five dollar
s on a T-shirt and gym pants and thirty-five dollars on paper goods. “I don’t think I’m even used to this body yet.”
Amanda smiled, satisfied her plan had come together so nicely with almost no effort. “Well, that’s the good thing about shopping. You can keep doing it ’til you get it right. Come to think of it, I could use a bit of practice myself.”
Holly returned the smile. Amanda was right; the time had come. And who better to spend the day shopping with? Amanda had great style and was hardly so skinny that she’d look good in everything. She could help Holly take her new figure out for a spin.
Holly was ready for the change. Unfortunately, Logan was not.
When Holly came into the gym the next day, not only was she sporting a new bobbed haircut, but the sweatpants and too-big T-shirt were gone, replaced by the latest workout clothes. The flared spandex pants hugged her waist and behind; the form-fitting white Nike tee commanded JUST DO IT in neon green and revealed an impressive bust. Where she was once shapeless and undefined, an hourglass figure had begun to take its place. He was momentarily taken aback. Then he had to keep himself from becoming engrossed in it.
“Excuse me, miss,” he teased when she bounded through the door and jumped on a treadmill after dropping a duffel bag on the floor, “but this is a private gym and I already have a client in this time slot.”
“Knock it off, Logan,” she told him, flushing with discomfort and feeling more idiotic than attractive. She turned on the treadmill to begin a quick warm-up.
“What are you talking about?” he responded energetically, making a concerted effort to keep eye contact and failing, his gaze drifting back to her chest. “Holly, you look spectacular, although I really pictured you as more of an Adidas girl. I like the new hair. What’s with the bag? Are we going to have another towel debate?”
“I’m going to shower real quick here tonight, if that’s all right. Amanda and I are going to the stadium to catch the game. It’ll save me a few minutes.”
“Of course it’s fine,” he said, more churlish than he would have liked, although she didn’t notice.
Logan was miffed and couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. Sure, he knew his program would pay off. He had seen the results on the scale every week. Still, he was taken off guard by the change. Maybe because he hadn’t authorized the upgrade. Maybe because he had a pretty good idea of who was behind it. Odds were it wasn’t Holly.
But this was his job, his objective being achieved. Why should he care who encouraged Holly to branch out and fully embrace the fruits of her labor? Still, it took real effort for him to not show any outward disgruntlement.
Logan never dreamed Holly’s session would slowly turn into his own personal hell. It wasn’t just because of her now prominently displayed breasts. Without the benefit of the oversized sweats and shirt, each time Holly moved, he watched seemingly placid flesh twitch as distinctive muscle took its place. She was wonderfully proportioned, something the T-shirts and sweatpants had successfully camouflaged. Her backside was tantalizing and heart shaped.
Holly pulled and stretched and grunted, her focus completely on the exercises he put before her, ignorant to his newfound fascination with her. The guttural sounds that escaped from deep within Holly as she summoned the strength to lift weights in a set now began sounding more sensual. Sweat soaked through the shirt, down her back, and between her legs. Hair that was no longer concealed in a ponytail fell free in dampened disarray.
It was worse than any aphrodisiac. Reacting to Holly was unexpected. He would have to get his testosterone in check.
Still, he couldn’t help but be proud of her. This was a victory they had every right to share, wasn’t it?
When Amanda came into the gym near the end of Holly’s workout, Logan felt himself becoming annoyed all over again. He took a quick look at the clock on the wall.
“You want a stretch? I can see your date is here,” he said to Holly, nodding his head in the direction of the door. They both looked to the entrance and waved at Amanda.
“I feel pretty good,” Holly replied, grabbing her bag off the floor and heading toward the changing room. “I can stretch myself out tomorrow. I’ll be right out,” she called over her shoulder.
Logan felt his jaw start to clench, deliberating whether he was pissed off at Holly’s cavalier departure from an important element of her workout or relieved that she would be leaving that much quicker and he wouldn’t have to touch her.
“Doesn’t Holly look great, Logan?” Amanda remarked as the door closed, forcing him to end his internal debate before its final conclusion.
He narrowed his eyes in Amanda’s direction. “If you work the program, the program works, Amanda. You know that.”
“You know, you really do have a phrase for everything,” she laughingly replied, and then added, “I know you’re a professional and all that, but I really expected you to show a bit more enthusiasm. You have to admit, the haircut alone is pretty astounding. You should have seen the glee on the face of my hairdresser when he started hacking off all those dead ends. Care to join us?”
“I can’t take in a game tonight,” he told her, starting to return all the weights Holly used during her session to their designated spots. “I have another client tonight and a six o’clock tomorrow morning.”
Amanda didn’t bother to mask her disappointment. “Come on, we’ll have you home by midnight. We won’t even go out to eat, I promise.”
“I just told you, I have another client in fifteen minutes,” he said curtly.
“You can meet up with us after.”
“Sorry, kid, I can’t tonight,” he told her testily, grabbing the towels and cleaner spray bottle from where he kept them and beginning to wipe down the equipment Holly had used.
“If you insist,” Amanda said with a sigh, then tried a different tactic. “Maybe we’ll go out after with one of the guys from the team.”
“Just remember,” Logan said, pointing to the door, “your new friend in there isn’t used to being the center of attention. You may not want to throw her into the deep end too quickly.”
He had reacted and she didn’t miss it. Amanda smiled sweetly. “Oh, Logan, don’t be silly. I’m not going to throw her anywhere. I just want to introduce her to some of the guys on the team. Unless, of course, you think that’s a bad idea. Or you mind.”
“Why would I mind?” Logan said a little too quickly. “Unless you’re really up to something.”
“What would I be up to?” Amanda asked, following behind him as he saw to his task.
“Oh, I don’t know, trying to make me jealous maybe?” he stated simply, spraying a weight bench with disinfectant and promptly wiping it clean.
“You’re not the jealous type, remember?”
Logan stopped what he was doing and took a quick look at the changing-room door to make sure Holly was still securely inside. He took a step closer to Amanda, his voice lowering. “Maybe because of the not-so-subtle makeover attempt?”
Amanda managed to look aghast but was secretly overjoyed. He had noticed. “That almost sounds like this is about you. Sorry to rain on your My Fair Lady parade, but you’d have to agree—it’s time for Holly to start living again in the real world, and I just thought the sooner the better. And what makeover? Some gym clothes that fit, and a much-needed haircut?”
Logan went back to what he was doing, afraid she was getting too close to the truth. “You forget. I know you. It’s something you would do hoping to get a reaction out of me.”
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