by Alice Ward
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Look, we got off on a tangent. I’ll go get us some fresh drinks and when I come back we’ll move on to a more pleasant subject,” he suggested.
“Okay, but I just want a Sprite. I have class in the morning, I can’t afford a hangover.”
“Sprite it is. I’ll be right back.”
Jackson stepped back into the house and I sat on the stoop, trying to process his attitude towards his father. I couldn’t understand why he’d rather be compared to his crotchety grandfather instead of his noble dad, and it scared me. Several minutes passed and I grew anxious as I waited.
What am I doing here? Why do I care how he feels about his family? He’s just my student, I don’t have time for a relationship… but he’s so handsome. His ruffled dirty blonde hair and those piercing eyes… he really does look like an Abercrombie model.
My thoughts were driving me crazy so I decided to go look for Jackson. I stepped into the entryway and spotted him just inside the kitchen. He was with a curvy blonde girl who was wearing khaki slacks and a pink cardigan. Her hair was pulled away from her face by a matching pink headband. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could tell they were arguing. Neither of them saw me so I moved closer to listen in.
“Meredith, I’ve told you that it’s over between us. I’m surprised you had the nerve to show your face here after what you did to me. Who I spend time with now is none of your business.”
“Jackson I know I hurt you, but I made a mistake. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but that’s no reason to rebound into a townie.”
My blood boiled, but I managed to remain silent and keep listening.
“A townie?” he asked. “You’re unbelievable, Meredith. In case you’ve forgotten, my family has been ‘townies’ since Boston was first colonized. You should choose your words more carefully.”
“Oh, you know what I meant,” she insisted. “Yes, you’re family has always lived in Boston, but on the right side of Boston. She’s working class Jackson, what would your family think?”
“I think that all that matters to them is that the woman I end up with not be a cheating, pretentious bitch,” he replied, his voice filled with venom. “Since that knocks you out of the running, I suggest you leave.”
I didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping so I quickly moved into the living room. I’d heard enough anyway. I spotted Lewis and Steve standing in a far corner and joined them.
“Where are the girls?” I asked.
“We’re not sure,” Lewis replied. “They were both talking to guys. We went to get more beer and they were gone when we came back. We’ve been wondering if we should wait around for them or if it would be alright if we just go home.”
“I’m sure they’re enjoying themselves. I’m ready to leave too. If they need us they’ll call,” I assured them.
“Alright, do you want us to walk you back to your house?”
“No, you’re just a few blocks from home. You don’t have to trek back and forth across campus on my account, I’ll be fine. I need some time to think anyway,” I told him as we moved towards the front door. Jackson spotted us just before we made our escape.
“Kennedy, where are you going?” he called out. “I’ve got your Sprite, I’m sorry I took so long.”
“Thanks Jackson,” I said, taking the cold can from his hand. “I’m going to have to take this to go. I didn’t realize how late it’s gotten and I really do have to get up early in the morning.”
Disappointment crossed over his face. “Okay… I understand. I’ll see you at our session tomorrow afternoon?”
“Not a minute early, not a minute late,” I replied with a smile. He moved to hug me goodbye, but I backed away and extended a hand. “Thank you for everything Jackson. Have a good night.”
The guys and I left the house and parted ways at the sidewalk. As I walked home in the crisp, clear night air, I stared up at the stars and thought about what I’d overhead at the party. I finally knew what had upset Jackson during the first half of the semester: his girlfriend had cheated on him. That explained why he’d gotten so behind in his classes and also his sudden interest in me. I’m the complete opposite of that horrible Meredith girl. That was why he wanted me and also why it would never work out between us. Like she’d so kindly pointed out, I’m working class while Jackson and his family are some of the richest people in town. The people in his circles would never accept me and I wasn’t sure I wanted them to.
I arrived back at Lowell House and climbed the staircase to our second floor bedroom. I unlocked the door, stripped out of my clothes, and climbed beneath my comforter. As I drifted off to sleep, my mind was filled with thoughts of Jackson. Dangerous thoughts.
CHAPTER 3
Early Sunday afternoon, I met my mother for brunch at Mama Suzie’s, her favorite New Orleans style café. We try to meet every week, but with our busy schedules we do good to see each other once a month.
“It’s so good to see you darling,” she told me as our waitress, Claudette, poured two steaming mugs of chicory coffee.
“It’s good to see you too, Mom. And it’s good to be here. I’ve been dreaming about beignets for weeks.”
“I’ll get a fresh batch in the fryer for you,” Claudette said with a smile. “I’ll have them out in a few minutes and I’ll get the rest of your order then, unless you’re ready now?”
“We’ll look over the menu,” Mom answered. Claudette nodded and disappeared back to the kitchen.
“So tell me, how’s life going?” Mom asked after she set her menu aside.
“Pretty good. I’m doing well in all of my classes and Student Services is keeping my tutoring schedule full. It always gets busy the last half of the semester with so many people needing to get caught up before finals.”
“And what about your personal life? Anything new to report on that end?”
“No Mother,” I sighed, staring out the window so I wouldn’t roll my eyes. “You know, for a feminist you seem awfully concerned about my love life.”
“It’s not your love life I’m worried about darling, you know that,” she answered patiently. “I just hate to see you so… reserved. You’re such a beautiful girl, Kennedy. I wish you could embrace that and enjoy yourself every now and then.”
“Mother, do you have any idea how odd that sounds? Most people’s parents would love having a calm, reserved daughter. And here you are encouraging me to be a wild child.”
“I’m not saying that you should be promiscuous darling, but you need to lighten up. We’ll drop it, I can see that I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay, Mom. There’s actually been someone on my mind lately. He’s smart and attractive, and he seems to be genuinely interested in me. I’m just not sure that dating him is a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re very different. His family is incredibly wealthy. He’s a legacy student, he lives in a fraternity house, and I’m not sure that we’d fit into each other’s worlds,” I explained, twisting my fingers together, suddenly nervous to be talking about him.
Mom turned her nose up slightly. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you with a frat boy,” she agreed. “But if he’s smart, attractive, and treats you well, I don’t see the harm in giving it a shot. Which house does he live in?”
“Sigma Chi.”
“Well, I guess that could be worse. Most of the Sigmas I’ve taught seem reasonably respectful.”
It would have been easier to talk to her about Jackson if I could give her his name, but my mother has a strict rule. I’m free to talk about my fellow students, but I’m not allowed to name them. She knows Lauren and Becky, of course, but she likes to stay impartial when it comes to students. She explained that if I had a problem with someone, she’d be more likely to be hard on them if they ended up in one of her classes.
“He’s respectful… but he’s also complicated. He caught his girlfriend cheating on him at
the beginning of the semester. I’ve met her and we’re complete opposites. I’m afraid that all he sees in me is a rebound.”
Mom shrugged. “If you know that going in, what’s the harm in having a little fun? You’re not looking for a serious relationship anyway, and everyone needs sex.”
“Mother!” I hushed her as Claudette returned to our table. She placed a platter of powdered sugar coated beignets on the table and pulled out her ticket pad.
“Do you know what you want?”
“I’d love the Crab Benedict,” Mom replied. “With extra Creole spice, please.”
“Fantastic, and for you, Kennedy?”
I looked at the fried pastry in front of me.
I’ve already ruined my diet for the day. I may as well enjoy myself.
“I’ll have the same,” I said, smiling up at the kind woman.
Claudette nodded and disappeared again. I didn’t want to hear any more sex advice from my mom, so I took control of the conversation.
“We’re doing really well with the Summer Food Drive,” I told her. “It looks like we may be able to take on three more schools.”
“That’s wonderful darling.” She beamed. “I am so proud of the generous, caring young woman you’ve grown in to. You know, before I got pregnant with you, everyone told me I’d never be able to raise you on my own. I knew they were wrong, but I never imagined you’d turn out so amazing. Sometimes I wonder if that had more to do with you than me.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I told her with a smile. I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I know I wasn’t always the easiest kid, but I love you.”
“I love you too, darling. And speaking of your food drive, I know someone else who’d like to help. I mentioned it to him and he insisted on making a donation.” She reached into her purse and pulled out her own checkbook. “I put his check in my account, so I’ll write you one of mine,” she explained.
“You don’t want me to know who he is,” I said suspiciously.
“A woman has to have her secrets, Kennedy,” she said as she filled out the check. She tore it from the book and passed it to me. My mouth dropped when I saw the amount. Mom’s mystery man had just tied with Jackson as our highest contributor.
“Ten thousand dollars? Who is this guy mom? You have to at least give me a hint.”
“He’s a well-off gentleman who knows a good cause when he sees one, darling. That’s all you need to know.”
“Are you serious about him?”
“I think we’re serious about each other. We’re getting there at least. To be honest, Kennedy, this is all very new to me. I’ve never been this… excited about a man before.”
“I’m happy for you, Mom,” I told her honestly. As much as I admired my mother’s fierce independence, I worry about her being alone as she gets older.
“Thank you sweetheart. If things keep going so well between us, I’m sure I’ll be introducing you to him soon.”
Claudette arrived with our meals and I almost drooled at the sight of the hollandaise covered crab meat, Canadian bacon, eggs, and English muffins. Mom and I ate silently until our plates were clean.
“It’s nice to see you eat a real meal,” Mom teased. “I was afraid you’d order that same boring salad.”
“The blackened chicken salad is delicious, Mom. You should try it yourself sometime.”
“I’ll pass.” It was my mom’s turn to roll her eyes. I think she even shuddered a little
Claudette arrived to refill our coffee just as we pushed our plates away.
“I take it everything was good?” she asked with a smile.
“Delicious as usual,” Mom replied. “Tell Rene that the home fries were particularly good today. I like the new seasoning.”
“I’ll let him know,” Claudette assured her. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Just the check, Claudette. We’ve got to be getting back to campus.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
Claudette walked to the register and Mom turned to me.
“Do you want to ride back to campus with me?”
I shook my head. “No, I want to pop in to a couple of stores first. I’ll grab the three o’clock bus back to the other side of town.”
“Alright, well call me if you change your mind. I’ve got a mountain of papers to grade, but I’ll drive back over and pick you up if you want me to.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Claudette came back with our check; Mom handed her two twenties and told her to keep the change.
“Thank you so much, Professor. Have a wonderful day.”
“You too, Claudette,” Mom smiled. We stepped out of the café together and I walked Mom to her car.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I promised as she slid behind the driver’s seat.
“Okay, darling. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I told her before closing her door.
I set off for a nearby used bookstore, marveling at the coincidence that my mother and I were both being pursued by generous men with deep pockets.
***
“Jackson, you’re not concentrating!” I scolded him with a harsh whisper. It was a Thursday afternoon and we were in the tutoring cubicle. Two weeks had passed since the party at the frat house and I still wasn’t sure how I felt about Jackson Montgomery III. The more time we spent together, the more confused I felt. Sometimes I saw flashes of generosity that reminded me of his dad’s reputation, but more often I saw arrogance that reminded me of Jackson the First.
“I’m sorry, Kennedy, but I don’t know how you could expect me to concentrate right now.”
“What are you talking about? What’s wrong?”
“Don’t pretend to be clueless,” he said. “It’s been two weeks since the party. I thought we’d really hit it off and started something that night. And then you rushed off with no warning, and you’ve refused to talk about it ever since. So I made a decision. Until you agree to talk about us, I’m not doing any more studying.”
I gaped at him for a long moment, and forced my mouth to snap shut. Then I laid into him. “That’s one of the most asinine things I’ve ever heard,” I told him dryly. “Following through with that threat would only hurt you. It doesn’t matter to me whether you pass or fail.”
His shoulders fell and he slumped back into his seat. “Okay, it’s a bad plan, but I’m a desperate man. Why won’t you talk to me, Kennedy? What happened while I was getting our drinks that made you run away and shut yourself off again?”
“Nothing happened,” I insisted. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted to start something with you, I’d had too much to drink. My feelings never changed, Jackson. I don’t have time for a relationship and we wouldn’t be good together anyway.”
“That’s horseshit and you know it,” he argued, his voice raising before he caught himself. “You can’t know whether or not we’d be good together unless you give it a chance. And stop telling me that you don’t have time. I know you’re busy, but plenty of people date during college. When it’s important, you find a way to make it work. And I think we could be perfect, Kennedy.”
“Really? Even though I’m just a working class townie?” I asked.
His face dropped. “You heard Meredith. Kennedy, I’m so sorry. You have to know that I don’t feel the same way she does. I don’t care how much money you have or what your parents do for a living. In fact, I think that your mother may be one of the most fascinating women on the planet. I read a couple of her books and I think she makes some excellent points.”
“You read my mom’s books?” I asked with surprise.
He blushed. “I went to dinner at my dad’s house last weekend. He had a couple of them in his library. He got really excited when I asked to borrow them, I guess he’s been a big fan for years.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I told him. “They both have pretty liberal views. Mom will get a kick out of knowing he’s read her stuff. But that doesn’t gi
ve us enough common ground for a relationship to work Jackson,” I told him softly. “Face it, if we started dating, most of the people you know would have the exact same reaction as Meredith did. Some of them will be polite enough to keep their mouths shut about it, but it’s what they’ll all be thinking. Not to mention the fact that you just got out of a relationship a few months ago. How long did you and Meredith date?”
“Since freshman year,” he confessed.
“And you caught her cheating?”
“With one of her T.A.’s.”
“That must have been awful. I couldn’t help but notice that Meredith and I are complete opposites and… I don’t want to be your rebound Jackson. I’m just not up for it.”
“That’s not what this is about,” he argued.
“Maybe not, but I don’t trust it,” I felt overwhelmed with emotions and I had an overwhelming urge to flee. Part of me, a part I didn’t understand, wanted to give in and kiss him hard on the lips, to fall into his arms and trust that the fantasy was real. But the rational part of me knew that it would inevitably lead to heartache. I grabbed my bag and stood up hastily.
“Jackson, I can’t do this. I’m going to speak with Sidra and have you reassigned to another tutor. She won’t think anything of it, sometimes students and tutors just aren’t compatible. I’ll get my replacement up to speed on where you’re at and you’ll be ready for finals.”
“Kennedy don’t do this,” he pleaded.
“Please don’t follow me and don’t make this any harder than it already is,” I instructed before darting out of the cubicle. I rushed back to my room, trying to figure out how to explain what I’d just done to Lauren.
***
“Kennedy Nightingale, what the hell were you thinking?” Lauren demanded. “Donation day is just a few weeks away! We need Jackson and his friends to help out! I know that he was getting on your nerves and that you have some strange aversion to devastatingly handsome, kind, smart men, but couldn’t you have just played nice for a little while longer?”