by Emma Miller
He peered through the peephole. “Just Jack,” he called over his shoulder and swung open the door.
“Just Jack. What does that mean?” He walked in, dark hair covered with a dusting of snowflakes, arms full, something large dangling from one hand.
“It means you need to call first,” Evie said from the other end of the living room.
“Hi, Jack.” Allison waved shyly, walking in from the kitchen. “Sean, get down from there!” His nephew took a flying leap from the side of the couch, letting out a full-throated shriek as he went. The kid had a good pair of lungs.
“Sorry.” The young mom’s face was bright pink, her lips set in a line.
“I picked up some essentials.” Jack held up his arms and Gavin got a better look at the jumble of items. A small trampoline, a miniature basketball hoop, several boxes.
“What’s all this?” Evie pointed at the pile of what was obviously meant for Sean.
“Dear sister of mine, I was a boy once. And boys have energy to burn.” He grinned. “I still do. But anyway, I thought you guys would like some activity toys.”
Sean was standing near, eyes wide. “Is this for me?”
“Sure, but your mom will probably set some rules before you get to start. Maybe you could try this out while I pump up the balls.” He laid the trampoline on the floor and Sean bounced onto it, small body a blur of motion. A wild scream of laughter told them how much he was going to enjoy it.
Jack looked embarrassed. “He may not be quieter, but he might be happier.”
Gavin glanced at Allison and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“No problem. Glad I can help. Sure wish we could get him up on the mountain for some sledding, but this will have to do.” He set down two boxes and pulled out a large yellow exercise ball.
“Will you stay for dinner?” Allison asked, already headed to the kitchen for another plate, her words following her.
Evie snorted. “Jack’s never turned down a meal. Ever. We’re having roasted chicken with homemade biscuits and fresh green beans.”
“I don’t want to butt in.”
“Butt into what? It’s dinner.”
“I haven’t met the grandmother,” he said softly, as if it were a secret.
“And? She’s perfectly nice.” Evie shrugged and took the giant yellow ball from Jack.
“She doesn’t bite,” Gavin assured him.
“Okay. I guess I’ll stay.” He still looked a little nervous but took off his coat.
Gandma Lili called out from the kitchen. “Help me with these biscuits, Gavin. Evie can roll and you can cut.”
Evie caught his eye and seemed to be trying not to laugh. His bossy grandmother was taking over her kitchen. He hoped she didn’t mind. To him it felt like what a family should be: busy, warm, a little bit loud.
They trooped into the small kitchen and took up their biscuit-making jobs. Gavin knew now wasn’t the time or the place, but he couldn’t help the rush of warmth when those bright blue eyes flitted from his, shyness written on her face. And those dimples. Her face was like a movie he never wanted to stop watching. He catalogued every detail. She had felt so soft in his arms, so warm.
Gavin shook himself. Get a grip. What kind of lovesick puppy ogles a pretty girl just feet from his own grandmother? He glanced up guiltily and caught Grandma’s eye. She winked broadly. He was so obvious he should be wearing a sign. Whipped—Do Not Attempt To Rehabilitate.
“Gavin, take this chicken to the table. Make sure you set it right on the hot pads. We don’t want to scar the lovely wood. That would be a poor way to repay Evie for her hospitality.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He slid on the oven mitts and carried the rosemary-encrusted bird toward the living room, delicious smells rising straight into his nose. He knew what Grandma Lili was doing. A little interfering might not seem like a bad thing, but something was keeping Evie from opening up to him, and there was nothing Grandma Lili could say that would change that.
* * *
Evie stood awkwardly in her own kitchen and wished she’d been gifted with a lighter personality, one that chirped over décor or the best recipes or hairstyles. But she hadn’t been, and so she waited for Grandma Lili to roll the biscuit dough, saying nothing.
The seconds stretched into minutes, and Evie peeked at the old woman’s face. It was serene, thoughtful. The only noise in the kitchen was the steady rhythmic sound and motion of the age-old exercise of rolling out dough.
Grandma Lili passed a biscuit cutter to Evie, meeting her gaze and smiling. There was no need to be anxious. Just two women, making biscuits, preparing dinner. She watched Grandma Lili’s capable hands twisting and turning the slab. The raucous sounds of two men and a young boy playing in the living room were like sweet background music. Evie let loose a long breath she didn’t know she’d been holding deep inside and felt her shoulders relax.
“I believe in you.” Grandma Lili’s words were soft, almost as if she were speaking to herself.
Evie looked up, eyes widening. For a moment, she’d thought the older woman had said she believed her, and she’d felt her past rise up in her throat.
Her quick hands pinched out the shapes and laid them on the sheet. “You remind me of Gavin, you know. He took Patrick’s death and made it a personal mission. He works so hard, as if the world will come crashing down if he doesn’t take responsibility for it.”
Evie felt her face flush hot. She carefully pressed her cutter into the dough, making sure the entire circle was separated from the rest. Just the way she felt. Isolated, alone.
“But you’re both more than your job.” She looked up, pale blue eyes shining with sincerity. “I believe in you as a woman with purpose. You know what happens when you follow your God-given purpose?”
Evie shook her head. Did she even know her purpose? All she’d done lately was try to clean up the mess she’d made years ago, and the only outcome was it coming back to smack her in the face.
“You can not fail.” She enunciated the words clearly, one hand cradling a raw biscuit. She put her other hand, dusty with flour, over Evie’s. “I believe in you and you can’t fail. So do what you have to do and stop being scared about it.”
Her eyes burned at the corners, and Evie felt her throat close up on whatever words she could have said, if she could have thought of any. All the years her father had overlooked her, all the times she’d chased after success that had never come, all the hours she’d spent hating herself for making such huge mistakes, they all rose up in her like a dark tide.
She dropped her gaze and took a shuddery breath. “But you don’t know me.”
“I do, Evie, I do.” She squeezed her hand and laid the biscuit on the sheet. “You’re just like Gavin. He’s a big, strong man who is smarter than anyone I’ve ever met. So handsome but doesn’t know it. Girls just fall all over him.”
Evie pushed her cutter into the dough a little forcefully. She knew all about how girls felt around Gavin.
“But he’s scared, too. Scared of letting people down, of making mistakes, of not being the man he’s supposed to be.”
“He doesn’t seem like it. He seems so capable. In control. Perfect,” Evie said. The last word came out softly, like an afterthought.
She snorted. “Nobody’s perfect.”
“I know, but compared to the rest of us.” She shrugged, lifting a biscuit to the tray.
“Compared to the rest of us, he’s still not perfect. And he’s not trying to be.” Grandma Lili sighed. “No comparisons allowed. We are who we are, pasts and all.”
Evie had a momentary burst of panic, wondering if Allison had shared the entire story with Grandma Lili. And it would only be a matter of time before Gavin heard the full story from someone other than herself.
“Let’s get these in the oven. Ten minutes and we’ll be ready to eat. Why don’t you put the plates out, dear?”
She nodded, forcing a smile to her face. She didn’t deserve this woman’s faith in her. She was too afraid to take that step, to tell Gavin the truth.
* * *
“Just a few minutes until dinner’s ready, I think.” Gavin hoped the idea of the impending dinnertime would give them all a chance to settle down. He chuckled as Jack slung Sean over one shoulder. The little boy’s giggles were muffled by the fabric of Jack’s plaid flannel shirt. Jack lowered Sean to the floor and Gavin held out his arms to the little boy. “How’s my guy?”
Sean wrapped his arms around Gavin’s waist and buried his face in his stomach. “Good.” The word sounded a bit tired, or sad.
He tipped up his godson’s face, one finger under his chin. “Having fun camping out?”
He shrugged, small shoulders moving in unison. “Sure. When are we going home?”
“We’ll have to talk to your mom about that.” Gavin felt his stomach clench. This couldn’t go on forever. But it wasn’t the right time to discuss it, either. One thing at a time. And that rosemary chicken definitely came first.
A few minutes later they were all seated at the table, the smell of the roast chicken wafting around their little group. Grandma Lili at the head, Allison and Jack on one side, Gavin and Evie on the other side, Sean at the end. They all linked hands and bowed their heads. “Lord, we thank You for these gifts we are about to receive, from Your bounty, through Jesus Christ. Bless our family and friends, keep us safe from harm and within the arms of Your love. Bless all those struggling with illness, especially the babies who’ve caught the whooping cough.”
“Amen.” The word, spoken in unison, made Gavin hope for a moment this would happen often, in better times, without fear.
“How are the numbers today?” Grandma Lili was peering at Gavin, small frown lines etched between her eyebrows.
“Better. Evie, I meant to tell you, another mom told us she’d read the signs of pertussis in the article and that was why she brought her baby in right away.”
Her fork paused in midair, lips lifting up in a bright smile. “Really?”
“Really.” He knew what she was feeling, saw the glint of tears in her eyes. Their articles had helped in a very concrete way. Maybe even saved lives.
“I’m so proud of you two. You make a great team.” Grandma Lili patted Gavin’s hand and beamed at Evie. He felt heat spread over his face, wishing she wouldn’t be quite so obvious, but Evie seemed to take it as a straightforward compliment.
“Did you read any of those fun magazines I brought over?” Grandma Lili switched her focus to her granddaughter.
Allison took a bite of fresh green beans and shrugged. “Um, I paged through a few of them. I don’t have a lot of time to sit. Sean wanted to play Lego pirates most of the day.”
“Did you at least take the quiz I told you about?” Grandma looked to Evie and said, “It’s such a silly quiz. You get it all filled out, it tells you what animal in nature you’d be. I was a badger. Which I liked. I think they’re hardworking and smarter than most people.”
“I think I’d be a monkey,” Jack offered.
“At this point, I would probably be anything that eats its own young,” Allison commented into her plate.
Evie snorted with laughter. She didn’t have to be a mother to understand how long the days must seem for Allison.
“Now, dear, have you been thinking about what you’re going to do? There was another article today. Senator McHale is denying everything. What’s your plan?” Grandma Lili passed the biscuits to her granddaughter and asked the question like she was stating tomorrow’s weather. Sean shoveled mashed potatoes into his mouth and didn’t seem to hear a word.
“Grandma, I don’t know. I’m not sure.” She took a biscuit and handed the plate to Jack, her face heavy with worry.
“Well, you can’t stay here, hiding in this apartment forever.”
“She’s welcome to stay as long as she needs to,” Evie said quickly. Gavin flashed her a small smile. He could tell she was eager to reassure them, to never let them feel like burdens. He felt gratitude swell in his chest.
“Of course she is. You’re a sweet girl. But are they never going to go outside again?” Grandma Lili’s blue eyes were wide, questioning.
“Maybe we can discuss this later.” Gavin’s voice was quiet but firm. “She’s had a hard day.”
“We’ve all had a hard day, dear. Except maybe Sean.” She winked at her grandson, who was busy covering his biscuit with raspberry jam. He grinned back at her, black hair sticking up right in the front.
Allison stared down at her plate, appetite seemingly gone. Gavin felt her anxiety palpably and wished he could make this entire ugly situation disappear.
He cleared his throat. “I know you don’t want me to boss you around, and I’m not trying to tell you what to do...”
“But.” Allison said the word with a note of bitterness.
“But you were right when you said it was time to stop hiding. You need to face it head-on. It’s only a story because it’s a secret. That’s how these things work. It will be big and ugly and loud for a while, then everyone will lose interest.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Evie’s shoulders hunch. He caught her gaze, and she offered a wan smile.
“He’s going to be furious.” Allison’s voice was low.
They all knew who Allison meant. She watched her little boy happily working his way through his biscuit. “People will hate me, and I can handle that. But if they hate him...”
“People are half-blind with their own prejudices. And they will hate the person you used to be. But we loved you, wherever you were, always.” Grandma Lili reached over and laid a hand on hers.
Evie met his gaze. The expressions that flickered on her face made his heart feel as if it was being clamped in a vise. A mix of hope and terror warred in her eyes. She was carrying a terrible burden—he knew it as surely as he knew his own name.
In the next moment, she’d replaced that raw look of fear with a wobbly smile. He sucked in a breath, hoping he’d imagined it all, but knowing in his heart that he had not.
“He’s going to deny it all, the way he did in the beginning.” Allison wiped her eyes. Her words brought Gavin back to the drama unfolding at the table.
Gavin’s protective side wanted to have a man-to-man talk with Sean’s absentee father. But this was her fight. All he could do was stand behind her.
“Okay.” She wiped a tear from her cheek and managed a wobbly smile. “We’ll have to make this good because I don’t want to be making statements every morning.”
“That’s my girl,” Gavin said. He knew she was tough, strong, but she just kept growing.
Jack passed Allison a tissue, and Grandma Lili forced another biscuit on Evie. Gavin snatched a tall glass of water out of harm’s way as Sean reached for the jam again.
All was well, for this perfect moment in time.
But he knew, in a matter of days, they would be weathering a storm that had been building for years. What the damage would be, and the lasting effects, only time could tell. He prayed that God would give them all the strength to hold fast to honor and truth, no matter how painful it would be. As he met Evie’s eyes, he saw the same worry in her gaze. But it was just a note. The rest was resolution, determination and an iron will.
Chapter Fifteen
“Coach! Watch this kick!” Gavin barely had time to dodge the soccer ball as it sailed over his head.
“Nice one, Alec.” He gave a short clap for the sweaty-haired kid and hoped he got more of a heads-up next time. The Mission soccer team was really shaping up into some dedicated players.
“Good news,” Grant ca
lled out to him as he crossed the gym at a jog, face creased with happiness. “Gabriel’s doing so well, the doctor said he’ll probably come home as soon as his course of antibiotics is finished.”
Relief flooded through him, and he felt a smile stretch over his face. “I’m so glad.”
Grant reached out, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I can’t thank you enough. Without those articles you and Evie ran in the paper, Calista wouldn’t have brought him in right away.”
“I’m so glad that she did. And the numbers are falling by the day. I think you’re good to go on the Christmas pageant and the caroling.”
“You saved the Mission’s Christmas, my friend.” Grant’s eyes shined with emotion.
“Not me. I wish I could wipe pertussis from the face of the earth, but...” He felt his shoulders slump. Same old story. Never quite good enough.
“Hey.” Grant gave him a steady look. “I give you points for trying, but there’s no reason to carry the responsibility of the world.”
He shrugged. “Just the way I’m wired, I guess.” Well, since Patrick died, anyway.
“Don’t lose sight of the good you’re doing.” The director looked concerned but left it at that. “Did you invite Evie to the pageant?”
Gavin nodded. He wondered how many people knew how he felt about Evie. Probably anyone with eyes. “Sure did. We’ll be there, Christmas Eve.”
It probably would have sounded odd to some people: an evening of kids reenacting the birth of the Savior, then a candlelight church service. But it felt right for them. Everything about Evie felt right. If only she felt the same way. The way she kept him at arm’s length told him she didn’t.
Gavin’s cell phone rang and Grant nodded, motioning he’d help direct the soccer team for a moment.
“It’s Grandma Lili. I’m just worried that Sean is cooped up in that apartment all day. It can’t be healthy for either of them. Don’t get me wrong. I know he’ll survive just fine. But Allison may not. She needs to have some time to herself, even if it’s just a few hours.” Her worried voice traveled over the line, delivering a load of grandmotherly guilt in just a few sentences.