by Emma Miller
“Oh, sure, it was great. Got lots of pictures. I came up here to see if I can get some good shots for the Sunday sports page.” Her gaze flicked between Gavin and Evie.
“The sports page?” Evie’s voice held a note of something he couldn’t define.
“Sure. You know, in case they wanted some good sledding shots for the front. Is this your boyfriend?” Amy stepped toward Gavin and put out her hand. Gavin had the faint impression of a predator sniffing for prey.
“Yes, I’m Gavin.” He took her hand, expression neutral.
“Amy Morket, reporter for The Chronicle. Well, nice to meet you. See you at work, boss.” Another thorough once-over and Amy turned back to the lodge. The crowd of worried bystanders drifted away, murmuring words of relief at Sean’s lack of injury.
Evie blew out a breath. “That girl reminds me of myself ten years ago. And not in a good way. Questions, all the time.”
He slipped an arm around her shoulders. “Isn’t that usual for reporters?”
She thought about it for a moment. “Journalists are a curious lot, that’s for sure. But most of us know not to be annoying about it. It’s the way she pops up everywhere. She’s supposed to be touring a goat farm today, but instead she’s up here. I can’t hardly turn around without bumping into her.”
Jack let out a whoop as Sean managed a small hill, this time without falling face first into the snow. “He’s a natural!” he called toward them.
Evie sent him a thumbs-up and let out a laugh. “My brother should never come off this mountain. He’s so happy up here.” The smile faded from her face. “And I think if he gets up the nerve, he’s going to quit his job and do just that.”
“Better now than when he has a family to support.”
She watched him adjust the snowboard, settling Sean’s boots into the latches. “I want him to be happy, even if he makes almost nothing. He was never made to sit in an office all day. I wish our father could see that.”
He understood. He wished for a lot of things, mostly to understand what made his parents act the way they did. How could they possibly reject Sean? How could they refuse to see Allison because she kept her baby? But he still loved them. Strangely, illogically, his heart still ached for their family to be whole.
At the bottom of the hill once more, Sean trudged through the snow toward them, small figure showing obvious signs of tiredness. Jack had the board over one shoulder and was smiling ear to ear.
“He did great! Probably the easiest kid I ever taught.”
The little boy lifted his face to his uncle and beamed. “Did you hear that?”
“I sure did, buddy.” Gavin sat him on the bench and gave him a hug. “Are you ready to call it a day?”
“Yeah, I bet my mom is really sad without me.” His big blue eyes were deadly serious.
“Do you want to call her and tell her we’re coming back? Then she will know you’re on your way.” Evie held up her cell phone and Sean nodded.
They headed to the car while Sean chattered on her phone.
Gavin looked over at Evie and couldn’t help the warmth that spread through his chest. What a perfect morning. He hadn’t thought about work once. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing, but it sure felt good right now.
She slid him a look. “What are you thinking about?”
He coughed, surprised. “That’s my line.”
“It’s hard for me to read your expression. Like, right now, you seemed happy, but then your eyebrows came down like this.” She demonstrated with a fierce scowl.
He couldn’t choke back the laughter. “Okay, I look nothing like that.”
Evie shrugged a sort of “have it your way” motion and smiled. “Anyway, are you happy? Or mad? Or both?”
“I just...was realizing how little I think about work when I’m with you and wondering if that was good or bad.”
She nodded. “The other day I forgot something important at least three times. This probably doesn’t bode well for future success in our careers.”
He almost tripped over a lump of icy snow in the parking lot as he turned to grin at her. Those bright blue eyes, the sweet smile framed by dimples. She was strong, faithful, funny. She exuded life, grace.
But Gavin had always been the serious science geek, the lab rat who spent his time working instead of socializing. Patrick’s memory had consumed him as he fought his solitary battle. She was all about the community and bringing people together. Could they find a place together, meet in the middle? Was he wrong to even think of making room in his life for something other than his scientific work?
She stopped and pointed. “See, right there. You did it again!”
“What? Did what?”
Sean was still describing his every snowboard maneuver to his mom on the phone, and he obligingly stood still next to them.
“You were smiling, then it just faded away.” Her face was set in a stubborn frown. “You know, if you’re having second thoughts, about this,” she waved a hand between them, “it’s okay to tell me. I don’t want you to hide your reservations because you don’t want to hurt me.”
She was worried that he might not really like her. Love her.
Sean continued to chatter as Gavin stepped toward Evie, reaching out a hand to her cheek. Her skin was silky soft but hot to the touch. He slipped his hand behind her head, running his fingers up into her hair. Her eyes went half-closed. He could see a pulse jumping at the base of her throat, her lips parted slightly. He leaned in, promising himself just one kiss. Her perfume was clean, light. He felt her hands up against his chest, and he slipped an arm around her waist, drawing her near. Her breath was warm against his mouth. Nothing had ever felt so perfect.
“And they’re kissing. No, real kissing. Right now. Uh-huh... Still kissing.” Sean’s voice cut through the fog that was wrapped around his brain.
A tug on the back of his coat. “Uncle Gavin, my mom says to knock it off.”
Evie leaned back with a gasp, her hand to her mouth, eyes wide with laughter.
Gavin kept an arm around her waist and growled back, “Tell your mom she’s being bossy.”
Sean dutifully repeated the message. Evie shook with laughter, her face pink.
“She says if you can’t control yourself,” he paused, listening to his mother, “she can get a bucket of ice water ready.”
Evie broke down completely, laughing into the front of his coat, her shoulders shaking. He couldn’t help grinning. Little sisters. Always getting in the way.
“Uncle Gavin, what does that mean? Why do you need a bucket of ice water? Are you thirsty?”
Gavin felt his face go hot and nodded at Sean. “Sure am. Tell your mom we’re being good now.”
Sean looked at them, little boy face screwed up in concentration. “He says he’s being good, but he’s still hugging her.” There was a short pause. “My mom says hands off.”
He chuckled and released Evie, although he missed her soft figure immediately. Her expression told him she wished he’d held on a bit longer. “Tell her she wins. And we’ll be there in about half an hour.”
Another messaged delivered and Evie got her phone back. “Let’s get going, Mr. Snowboard Champion of the Year.”
“Can you call me that all the time?”
“Hmm. Maybe just on Saturdays, okay?”
“Okay.” His little face was bright with happiness, and Gavin knew exactly how he felt.
He caught her watching his face as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Yes?”
She blushed, her eyes darting away. “Just waiting for the scowl.”
“No more scowling. I promise.” And he couldn’t imagine being unhappy when he thought of the days ahead, starting with tomorrow. All of his favorite people in one place, around some good food. It just didn’t get any
better than that.
* * *
“If you’re trying to convince me to move, it’s not working.” Allison stood in the doorway to the kitchen and stared, wide-eyed. The enchiladas were just out of the oven, green sauce peeking through the bubbling pepper jack cheese. In a smaller dish, the more kid-friendly penne pasta over simple sauce sat cooling.
Evie snorted, hands deep into the pie dough she was kneading. “If I wanted you to leave, I would put you to work in here.”
If she popped it in the moment Gavin and Grandma Lili got here, it would be done and cooled right after brunch was over. It had been tricky, getting to church with her brother and preparing an entire brunch, but Evie was all about the planning. Put together last night, even though her muscles were complaining from the sledding exercise, it had been simple to pop them in this morning and let them cook while she was gone. Allison was still in hiding, so she kept an eye on the food, but Evie could tell the young mom was more than ready to be honest with the world about her past with Senator McHale.
Evie’s stomach clenched. Not out of worry for Allison, but in the knowledge that as soon as she was no longer sheltering Gavin’s sister, Evie needed to be honest, too. And that step scared her to death.
“But I like cooking, actually. One of the clubs where I used to sing had a nice grill. The owner was one of those guys who liked fusion food. Cuban American, Korean Cuban, Cuban Vegan... Well, anything Cuban.”
Evie shrugged off the dark cloud of worry and attempted a bright smile. “Then come on in. Actually, we should get Sean in here to help with the pie. I have leftover dough and he can make shapes and toast them in the oven.”
“I don’t know if you want my kid in this kitchen,” Allison said, gazing around at the bright white cabinets and gleaming floor.
“It’s all washable. Bring him on in.” Evie hurried to prepare a place for Sean at the counter. Rolling out some foil and taping it on, she grabbed cookie cutters and a little cup of flour.
“Really, Evie? Can I help?” Sean was speeding into the kitchen, not really waiting for an answer, eyes wide with excitement.
“Sure, you’ll be over here.” She rummaged through a small cabinet and came up with a tiny oak rolling pin. She held it up toward Allison. “I knew this would come in handy. I saw it at a flea market and bought it. Jack thought I was nuts.”
Allison grinned. “I see why. It’s a bit small.”
“I told him it was for small pies.” Evie hurried into the living room for a chair and brought it back for Sean. She would miss having the little guy around, rebel yells and all. She hoped they would still come visit after they’d moved back to their own place. Even if she and Gavin weren’t together any longer, if he couldn’t forgive her for not telling him the truth sooner.
She felt a smothering wave of fear and pushed it back once more. Focus on the moment. God would take care of the rest.
There was a knock at the front door, and Evie looked up, confused. Gavin and his grandmother were more than half an hour early. She didn’t bother to wash her hands but trotted to the living room and peered through the peephole.
Evie swung the door open, already talking. “I thought you guys were coming at two. Where’s Lili? I was just...” Gavin stepped inside and closed the door, but there was no welcoming hug.
“I need to talk to you.” Just a few simple words, but the world seemed to tilt and shift under Evie’s feet. “Senator McHale just gave me a call. He said he was checking in on how our office was doing, but the truth is that internet article has got him scrambling to explain why he hasn’t supported his kid for five years. He had a lot to say, and it wasn’t all about Allison.” His voice was cold, cold, cold. “It seems the paper that published those pictures of him got a new editor. One that was more willing to tell him exactly who sold those pictures in the first place.”
Oh, no. Not now. Not yet. She’d wanted to tell him her own way, quietly, humbly. But the moment had come in a flurry of accusations.
“Will you listen if I try to explain?” She could barely see through a sudden sheen of tears, but she was desperate. To explain, to go back to the moment she should have told him everything.
He shrugged, brown eyes narrowed, expression tight with anger.
“When I graduated from journalism school, I moved to Aspen. I worked as a freelance photographer to pay the bills. Mostly I hid in the dark and tried to catch people doing things they shouldn’t.” She took a quavering breath. It was all coming too fast, like it was rehearsed. She hated herself for feeling fear. It wasn’t the guilt that hurt anymore; it was the fear of losing Gavin.
Gavin raised a hand, as if to ward off her words. His face was tight and pale. But when he didn’t speak, she went on.
“I’d like to say it wasn’t personal, but knowing the person I was then, I don’t think that really would have mattered. It was thrilling to be around famous people. I also hated them because they weren’t drowning under their college debt, like I was. When I heard Senator McHale was cheating on his wife, I decided to follow him until I got a picture I could sell. I knew there was a lot of money in it for me.” Her mouth felt sour, but she swallowed back her emotions. She needed to tell the truth, no matter what came next.
“You did it for the money.” His voice had dropped an octave.
Evie felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Some small part of her realized she’d never seen Gavin angry. Not really. Not like this.
Evie stared up at him, emotions warring within her heart. No matter what good thing they might have had, it ended here. “I did sell those pictures of Allison. I didn’t know who she was, but I knew the senator was running for President.”
She felt her eyes start to burn and angrily brushed them with the palms of her hands. She wasn’t crying because of what she’d lost. She was angry at the person she had been so long ago. She would never be able to really get away from her past. It would always be lurking there, somewhere in the dark. She would be punished for her actions over and over.
“Once I realized how wrong it all was, I took the money and tried to do something better, something good for the world. It doesn’t excuse my behavior. And I understand how it must feel, as Allison’s brother—”
“No, you can’t understand.” His head was bowed, as if he were carrying a terrible weight. “There is no way you could know what it’s like to watch a person you love walk away from God, to live a lifestyle that only leads to disaster. I watched her throw everything away for a man who wasn’t worth a second glance. And then she was shamed publically and abandoned by our parents.”
The pain in his face was like a physical blow. Evie felt her stomach roll. She didn’t know what that was like, but she did know what it was to carry the guilt of that on her shoulders.
“I talked to Allison. We’ve made peace with it. And for what it’s worth, I didn’t know who she was before...” Her voice trailed off. Before I met you.
“I’m glad she knows.”
Evie knew what he meant. He’d been afraid that Allison would feel the betrayal all over again, being sheltered in the home of the person who had ruined her life the first time around.
“But that makes me the last to know. You didn’t feel like you could be honest. Even after we talked about truth and not hiding from each other.”
Evie put a hand to her chest, as if to keep her heart in its place, as if she could protect herself from his words. The resignation in his face was like the final nail in the coffin. It was over. “I wanted to explain at the right time, in the right way.”
“Any time would have been a good time.” His face was heavy with misery. “I never liked journalists.”
Evie was silent for a beat. “I’m sorry for who I was, but not for who I am.”
Gavin shook his head. As if there wasn’t any difference between the two. And since her past
was always with her, maybe there wasn’t.
She forced herself to look him in the eye, to stand firm when all she wanted to do was walk into his arms and ask him to forget everything she’d said, to kiss her like he had before he’d known all her secrets. She had never felt so safe in her whole life, and she ached to be there again. But right now, it seemed like they were separated by an entire ocean, all because of the person she used to be.
Allison came into the living room, speaking into the tense atmosphere. “Sean’s got flour on every inch of your kitchen.” She looked from Evie to Gavin. “What’s up with you guys? Should I go back in the kitchen?”
“No, I have no secrets from you. Unlike you two.” He watched Allison stop, consider his words, her gaze flashing to Evie and back to him.
Allison paused, choosing her words carefully. “I thought she told you.”
“No.” That one word held barely concealed hurt. If Evie hadn’t known him, she would have thought he was shrugging it off. But the line of his mouth and the tightness around his eyes told her he was taking the news personally. “Maybe you shouldn’t have assumed she was being honest, either.”
His gaze raked over Evie and she wanted to weep, wanted to beg him to understand. But if there was something she had learned recently, it was that mistakes can’t be unmade.
“I’m going back in the kitchen. You two need to talk this out.” Allison turned on her heel and left them in the stinging silence.
Evie wanted it to be over, for the conversation to end so she could find somewhere quiet to let out her grief. But he was still there, standing stiff with anger.
“There was another article today on the gossip website.”
His words were so casual it took Evie a few seconds to process them. Her head came up with a snap, eyes widening.
“It was from our trip to the mountain. Isn’t it strange how they got pictures of Sean snowboarding without his mask? Right when I was lured inside with you?”
“Lured inside?” Anger finally surpassed her shock. She planted her hands on her hips, spitting the words now, so angry she could hardly talk.