by Freda, Paula
He replied, "I want to make the acquaintance of yours first. And later, my parents can hitch a ride with the two of us and meet yours."
Nervously he scanned his home office and was relieved to see that the window and the skylight were closed at the moment. If anyone overheard this conversation, he might be the one led away to a mental institution.
Ben waited for Jessica to come up with an excuse, or at least to develop a headache, as was happening to him. Instead, Jessica nodded. "Okay," she said. I'll have to get in touch with them first, to prepare them. They should be ready by tomorrow evening. Say eight o'clock?"
Ben ran a nervous hand through his hair, causing a wavy lock to fall across his forehead. Jessica caressed it back in place.
"So we are engaged?" she asked smiling.
"Absolutely," Ben declared, glad to be back on concrete ground. "In fact, I want to buy you an engagement ring of your choice. I have saved part of my salary over the years. Will a carat do?"
"A whole carat! Oh, my."
"Don't they have diamonds on your home world?" Ben asked.
"Except for a rare occasional find, not for thousands of years."
Ben laughed. There was not a shred of deceit in the sound of her voice.
"Let's go to dinner and celebrate our engagement," he said. "And tomorrow morning, before we go to the office, I'm taking you to the diamond center and buying you that engagement ring — a whole carat, flawless!"
CHAPTER TWELVE
"Congratulations!" Lester came around his desk to give Ben a hearty handshake, and Jessica, a bear hug. He told Ben, "I guessed it all along from the day you brought her in. The girl of your dreams." He gave him another hearty handshake.
Fiona's smile lit up her entire face. Taking Jessica's left hand, she gazed at the pear shaped diamond set into the white gold band. "It's beautiful. I am so happy for you."
"Thank you," Jessica said. "I'm indeed fortunate."
Fiona hugged her affectionately. "What else could Ben do but fall in love with you. You are the best that ever happened to him."
Jessica saw Lester glance with admiration at his secretary. And she's the best that ever happened to you, she thought, wishing he would realize that, and tell Fiona so. All these years, everyone was aware of his strong but silent affection for his secretary. He was unmarried, unconnected to any lover, but he continued to hold back. Ben had mentioned that at some time in Lester's younger years, he'd been terribly hurt by someone he'd loved dearly, and forsworn any future attachments.
Jessica suspected that Fiona must know what held him back from revealing the depth of his feelings for her. But despite all the confidences Fiona shared with her, Lester was not one of them. Fiona had told her more than once that she never would make the first move, for fear of losing the deep respect and platonic friendship Lester shared with her.
"But you are in love with him, have been from the beginning of your acquaintance. You chose him when you arrived here."
"I may not be privy to his displays of physical affection, but he is my soul mate, and he is fully aware of that."
So at some time, Jessica reasoned, Fiona had broken the rules, and allowed herself a glimpse into Lester's mind. Very well, then. She would make it her business to find the reason why he held back telling her friend that he loved her, and asking her to share with him all that might be shared between them.
First, however, she must attend to completing her contact with her parents and prepare them for the long-distance communication with Ben. It would not be easy, hitching his thoughts to hers, to travel the distance across half the cosmos. But it had been accomplished by others of her species, as long the human half of the duo opened their mind, heart, and soul to their beloved. And therein lay the obstacle. She suspected that Ben did not truly believe in her origins. He did not challenge her beliefs because he cared so deeply for her and dreaded risking losing her. She watched him as he conversed with his boss about the planned wedding date at the end of the month, as soon as the bands had been read, according to the teachings of his Church. Ben and she had shared many conversations about his Faith, and she recognized his desire, even without his telling her, to see her convert to his Faith. He was a rare find, she thought, her love ever intensifying. He was not ashamed to show his Faith; did not feel his manhood lessened or threatened in the eyes of others.
They often attended Sunday Mass together. Ben had shown her how to recite the Rosary, a very special prayer to the earth mother of the Creator's son who had come to this world two thousand years ago, to redeem it and all its inhabitants, past, present and future. It might behoove her to pray to that special Lady, who now resided with her son in their heavenly abode with the Creator, and ask for the Lady's guidance and help not to lose the best that had happened to her since her arrival here.
For Ben and Jessica, eight o'clock came too soon. Ben clicked on the lights as he and Jessica entered his apartment. Tonight might be their undoing. He removed his blazer and hung it in the closet by the door. His collar and necktie felt tight and he loosened both.
Lester had insisted on treating them to a celebration dinner, together with Fiona, at one of the best restaurants. He suggested eight o'clock. Ben was all for the later time, hoping for a reprieve from tonight's possible undoing, but Jessica asked for earlier reservations, explaining she needed to be home by eight, as she expected a long-distance call from her parents at that time. Ben was grateful she only shared her fantasy with him. Fiona appeared ignorant of Jessica's over-active imagination. At least, she had never said anything to him regarding it.
He waited for Jessica to sit down beside him on the brown leather couch in the living room. It was easy to tell his was a bachelor apartment — dark oak paneling and walnut furniture, western wall decor that included barnwood framed prints of a cowboy riding a bull at a rodeo, a black stallion leading a herd of horses running free on the plains, and his favorite, a 20 x 16 painting by his mother of the horse farm in which he had been born and raised. His parents kept hoping that one day he would take up the reins, so they could retire knowing the ranch would remain in the family.
Ben had called his mother earlier to tell her the good news of his unexpected engagement. Both his parents wished him well, and entreated him to bring Jessica to the ranch so they could meet her. They were easy-going folks. He had no doubts as to their liking her, as long as she refrained from mentioning her extraterrestrial origins. His mother might make allowances, but his father would immediately recommend a psychologist.
"Are you ready?" Jessica asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Ben studied her face, lovely in the muted lights of the two rustic lamps on the end tables flanking the couch. Her honey ash blonde hair softly cradled the sides of her face in silky waves. Her dark blue eyes were fixed lovingly on his. He often wondered why she had requited his feelings without a second thought. He'd never had to vie for her affections. It was as though she had chosen him, knowing without a doubt he'd have no problem falling in love with her.
"Close your eyes," Jessica told him. "Clear your mind, as if preparing to fall asleep. If you can't achieve a blank image, then think of you and me together in each other's arms."
He chose the latter. Falling asleep would not prove that difficult, as he was exhausted from the long day and the worrying of tonight's outcome. He breathed in and out slowly, telling his body to relax, and let the tensions flow from him to be absorbed by the ground below him, lessons he'd learned in a relaxation class in college. He felt Jessica's arms encircle him. He responded with an embrace. The close proximity of her body to his filled him with desire. Others might satisfy the physical need, but only she could fulfill the desire in his soul to be one with her both in body and spirit. His body craved to know hers, to possess hers on the most intimate levels, and feel the satisfaction of total release. And more, his essence craved to join with hers completely in the reality of true, unending love. He felt her press her face against his heart and place a gentle kiss on i
ts center. Her warm moist breath seeped through his shirt front. "Wait, dearest," he heard her whisper tenderly. "The time will come soon enough..." Her voice softened, became part of the air around him, soothing him. Senses lulling, he dozed off.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Stars cluttered the darkness, larger than they had ever appeared to his naked eye. He peered further into the distance and the darkness pinpointed by the myriad of mini suns enveloped him, filling him with apprehension. He remembered Jessica holding him in her warm embrace and felt her tighten her hold enough to ease his apprehension. He couldn't see her, but all about him was a soft comforting light. "Don't be afraid, my love," her voice said. "You're safe. My love enfolds you."
He let the tension continue to flow from him, and abandoned himself to the warm glow encircling him.
"We're here, dearest." Jessica's kiss and her voice woke him gently. Ben looked about him and found himself seated on a stone bench, much like the ones he had drawn in his alien background. In fact, he noted it was a curved stone bench in the central open-air mall of the extraterrestrial city. Odd shaped trees surrounded various oblong buildings espousing gardens filled with exotic flora. He became aware of people walking the grounds. Some were human, others he wasn't quite sure, but most were accompanied by soft white undulating glows, some with one, not unlike Jessica's, and others with more than one.
Jessica's voice, like the chiming of golden bell notes, informed him, "The corporeals accompanied by one light are the life-mates. The other lights are their offspring. As the children mature, they will be given the choice to have bodies grown for them, as I was. They will be free to remain here, or choose a world that supports their chosen physical form.
Ben sensed that under normal circumstances, what he was learning would alarm him. But the soft light that was Jessica holding him in her arms, soothed and calmed his entire being, assuring him that there was nothing unusual about what she imparted to him. It was the simple truth about her world.
His mind was drawn from the sites about him as she directed his vision toward two of the lights, soft, yet intense, undulating, permeating and enfolding each other, coming toward him. "My parents," Jessica said, her light intensifying.
The glowing spirals met hers and danced through and around her. They paused a moment, lights blending, then separating, each turned and swirled around him. That is when he realized he had no body, but was himself an undulating light. Still, he felt himself swallow nervously. But he knew instinctively that what he felt did not involve the physical, only its memory. He was nervous and apprehensive. And frightened.
Immediately, the lights enveloped him in a warm glow that dissolved the fear and filled him with a sense of security. “Who are you? Where am I?” he asked.
No audio, yet he heard them speak.
"Forgive us, young Ben. We did not mean to frighten you. We forgot that humans need time to process a thought. My life-mate and I are thrilled to meet you. Our child has told us so much about you, and how very deeply she feels for you. She has been most fortunate to have found you this soon." The light softened and the one beside her, intensified.
"I, too, am happy to meet you. Your light is clean and bright, and receptive to our child. You are a worthy partner and we are content to give you our blessings to present to the Creator at the time of your choosing."
Perhaps I'm dreaming, he thought, but he sensed only sincerity and responded in kind. "Thank you."
The first light whom he sensed was Jessica's mother, addressed him and her daughter as one. "Will you both give us your blessings as well?"
Jessica's glow intensified immediately. His wavered an instant, as he processed the meaning of the request. "Oh, of course," he said, his light growing strong. "I apologize for hesitating ... I didn't understand."
"No apology needed," Jessica's father said. "But, I see you grow tired ... your aura flickers." He addressed Jessica. "Return him to his body and give him rest. Go with our blessings and wishes for offspring of your own. We will want to see them often and yourselves."
The two lights encircled them, and Ben felt such warm love it nearly overwhelmed him. He heard Jessica's mother say, "Be sure to let us know the time of the Presenting. We so want to share that with you."
"Yes, mother, of course. Pray for us."
"Always, dearest. Now help him. He grows frightened."
Darkness. Ben shivered from a burst of coldness. Jessica's arms about him tightened, and she shook him gently. "Ben ... Ben. Open your eyes, take a deep breath and exhale slowly."
He followed instructions, and became aware he sat on the couch in his living room with Jessica beside him. "Oh, Jessy, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how exhausted I was. Must have fallen asleep. How late is it? Just give me a sec. I'll make myself a quick cup of coffee, and drive you home."
So that was to be his nickname for her. Jessica smiled. "It's okay. It's not late. We only just finished supper," she reassured him.
Ben checked his wrist watch. Only fifteen minutes had elapsed since he sat down. "Whoa," he moaned. Feels like I've slept for hours." He breathed in deeply again and out slowly, then chuckled. "And what a dream I had. Talk about vivid dreams." He gazed at Jessica. She wore an I know look.
"Ben, it wasn't a dream. You met my parents."
"Huh?" He stared at her incredulously. "Uh, come off it. I nodded off for fifteen minutes." His brow furrowed. "Wait a minute," he murmured. "How did you know what I dreamt about? I don't usually talk in my sleep."
"It wasn't a dream, Ben," she repeated. "You were really there, your consciousness, that is. Thoughts can travel across the cosmos in a split second."
"Look, Jessica, I've been meaning to talk to you about these illusions you have. I keep pushing your problem to the side, but sooner or later we have to face it. If I can't help, a psychologist can."
Jessica's face blanched.
Ben could have kicked himself. He had blurted out the one word he'd sworn to himself not to use. He rallied, "Jessy, I swear I'll stand beside you every step of the way. I'll never abandon you. I love you, I swear it."
"A psychologist can't help me. Only you can."
Ben added quickly, "Yes, I'll help you. Forget I ever mentioned the psych word. We'll work it out, together."
Jessica rested her head in the curve of his neck. "You may never believe my origins, or that you actually met my parents and they gave us their blessings. It won't make a difference," she said. "We will be happy."
He had reassured her, but he needed valid reassurance himself that she had simply made a wild guess. "Jessica, tell me about the dream," he asked.
She told him. He sat listening, clasping her in his arms, unmoving, while his mind reeled. Even if he talked in his sleep, it was impossible for her to know every minute detail, unless, she'd somehow hypnotized him and told him what to dream. He remained silent, and after a while, he mentioned the lateness of the hour, and drove her home. All during the drive, Jessica said nothing more about the dream. She sensed the turmoil escalating within him. He accompanied her to the door to Fiona's apartment, kissed her gently, and waited until she was safely inside.
Jessica sat down on the sofa. Only a little of the color had returned to her face. She blinked, salty droplets of water gathering in her eyes.
Fiona, wearing a red robe over her nightgown, entered the living room. "I heard you come in and sensed something was wrong. What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, joining her confrère on the sofa.
"I should have waited," Jessica wailed. "Too soon. I showed Ben too soon. You were right not to tell Lester the truth all these years for fear of losing him." She turned pleading eyes to her friend. "Oh, Fiona, I should have waited!" For the first time in her young life, Jessica burst into tears.
Fiona clasped her in a sisterly embrace. "Dearest, don't be upset. He loves you. I broke the rules and looked into his mind for you. That man adores you. I assure you. He'll come around. You'll see."
"No ... no. He ... he thinks I'm insane.
"
Fiona pressed Jessica to her heart. "I've known Ben since he started working for the magazine. He's a good man. He won't abandon you. Tell me what happened."
Jessica swallowed the gulp in her throat. "I know ... he won't ... leave me," she said between body-wracking sobs. "But for his own ... happiness ... I may have to ... leave him."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
That night Ben barely slept for fear he'd dream again of Jessica's imaginary world. Where did obsession end and common sense begin, he struggled to answer. He had already deluded himself into believing the illusions would slowly vanish once they married and he proved how much he loved and needed her. The world she created to shield herself from loneliness would lose its appeal once she found herself loved in return in the real world.
His experience last night had truly frightened him. Instead of helping her, he was increasing her delusions. Marriage under those circumstances would hinder rather than help. And would it even be considered a valid marriage? None of this reasoning lessened his feelings for her. His heart and mind were already committed to her. He would never abandon her. But she needed professional help. They both did.
With only an hour of sleep, he walked past Fiona's desk, towards Lester's office.
Fiona's voice stopped him from entering. “Ben, I need to talk to you immediately.”
He turned, eyes ringed and bagged, and tried to focus.
Fiona beckoned him to come close. He was in no condition to argue, and he retraced his steps and sat in the carved wood chair beside her desk. “I look a mess, I know.”
Fiona rose and came around to stand behind him. “Close your eyes,” she said.
Again he was too tired to argue. The cool hand she placed over his eyelids comforted and strangely eased the ache. When she removed her hand and he opened his eyes, he felt as though he had slept added hours. If Ben had looked in a mirror, he'd have seen that the bags and the dark rings were gone, and only a slight puffiness remained.