by Joe Nobody
With a smug grin, Aaron informed his assistant that he was heading to the hospital. “I may be there a while,” he informed. “Don’t let the senior staffers go home. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to have a very, very busy night.”
Heidi was in Aaron’s face immediately, barking a harsh, “What the hell has happened to the American people?” before the new arrival could even say hello.
Ignoring the remark, Aaron stepped to Heidi’s bedside and said, “How are you feeling?”
“She’s feeling like shit,” Mr. Clifton responded before his wife could form any words. “She always feels like shit when her ass is getting kicked all over the media, and the election is slipping away.”
Pivoting with vigor, there was fire in Heidi’s gaze as she glared into Aaron’s eyes. “I can’t believe people are reacting this way. How can anyone be a leader of this country when it is full of idiots? I knew this election was going to be rough, but the shit that is being spewed over this whole gun control thing is out of control.”
“Whoa… hold on,” Aaron said, holding up his hands to slow down the irate woman. “The election isn’t over yet. You know how quickly these things can change.”
His statement didn’t seem to resonate with the former Commander in Chief. Grunting, Mr. Clifton shot back, “What election? There’s not going to be any election tomorrow, son. There’s going to be a landslide, with my wife’s ass getting kicked, and the country subjected to another eight years of Republican rule. You both had better be finding a way to reverse this fiasco, and you better be doing it quick. Maybe you should consider resigning, Aaron.”
Aaron’s voice was calm in reply. “I serve at the pleasure of Mrs. Clifton,” he maintained, shaking his head to emphasize his message. “If you want my resignation, I’ll tender it immediately. But let’s be clear about one thing, we can’t sell our ideology out in the false pretense of compromise. I can’t work for anyone who crumbles every time the Republican Party farts.”
Heidi had heard enough. “Jeff, stop it! Aaron’s right, the last thing any of us needs right now is a family quarrel. Are we so shallow that we are going to turn on each other when the road gets a little bumpy? We need to fix this, and fix it right now.”
Her husband waved his hand through the air, a gesture clearly indicating it was a hopeless cause. “Save your breath, Heidi. This thing has snowballed out of control, and there’s no way to turn it around in one day. Yet again, you’ve somehow managed to give away the Oval Office.”
She glared at him from her elevated bed, the anger about to boil over. Aaron stopped the oncoming tirade with five little words. “I can fix this. It’s easy.”
Both Heidi and her husband blinked at the words, the skeptical expression on both of their faces making it clear they didn’t believe him.
Reaching into his briefcase, Aaron pulled out a thin stack of papers, handing a few sheets to both Heidi and her husband. “This is what we’re going to do,” he announced with a voice exuding confidence.
Heidi skimmed the documents first, her eyes wide with surprise. She didn’t say anything, looking up and watching her husband mouth the words as he read.
When the ex-president had finished, his face displayed a neutral, blank look. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Aaron. It’s different… it’s bold.”
But Mrs. Clifton still wasn’t convinced, her frown a prophecy of the words that followed. “You want me to announce my support for the secession of Texas? You want me to break our union? Are you insane?”
Aaron nodded, “Before you call for the straight jacket, just hear me out. We already know that the petitions have already started circulating, just in case you win – just a bunch of sore losers calling for Texas to secede. The exact same thing happened after the last presidential election.” The campaign manager was grandstanding, yet timed his presentation well enough to resonate with the duo of political heavyweights. “You know what I am talking about. Eight years ago, it went so far that the governor publically announced that he would support such an initiative.”
He paused after every statement, watching his audience carefully to ensure they were still with him before revealing the nuances of his idea. “Now, I’m not saying we should actually grant Texas its independence; I doubt very seriously that it would ever come to that. But if you declare your willingness to consider the idea, and communicate such a concept in the right way, you’ll pull in a considerable number of votes from the center.”
When Heidi shifted her weight, Aaron realized that she had reached a saturation point of discomfort with his plan. The savvy staffer anticipated her upcoming objection and answered it in advance.
“Stay with me here; I know this idea is a little radical. But historically this is a low risk plan; these things never pan out in favor of secession. Remember what happened when Britain gave support for Scotland to explore the idea of establishing it’s sovereignty? The Scots ran the numbers, looked at all the impediments to independence, huffed and puffed and threatened to pull away from Britain, and in the end voted against secession. I believe this announcement would win the election in the short run and put this Texas independence idea to bed once and for all.”
“And how would I go about flirting with the break-up of the United States of America?”
Aaron produced another report, the multi-page document containing an analysis of dozens of polls, surveys, voter responses. Pausing his sales pitch for a moment, Aaron gave the Cliftons time to scan a few pages. When he began again, his voice was almost a whisper. “The word ‘United’ in our country’s official name has been a misnomer for over two decades. Our federal government has been ineffective for even longer. Our system is broken. In my opinion, as well as the scholars who compiled that report, our country requires drastic measures in order to correct our course. Yet, no one seriously believes we can pull it off in the current political environment. There has to be a bridge between the right and left…. We have to stop fighting each other. I believe the strategy I’ve outlined could be the catalyst to make that happen.”
Heidi had to admit, the report Aaron had provided was shocking. Looking down at a page, she read, “Over 56% of liberal voters believe conservatives are more dangerous to our country than international terrorist organizations. Wow.”
“So let’s turn the tables. This time we scare them,” Aaron continued. “We let this idea of secession run its course. In the meantime, you look like a hero, a president who is willing to work with the right. You’re progressive, open to new ideas, serving in the best interest of all the people, not just the folks who voted for you. My hope is that the threat of splitting our country will draw the extreme elements in both parties a little close to the center.
Mr. Clifton looked up from his reading and said, “Okay, say Heidi goes along with this – what is the end game?”
“If she wins the election, we can pursue her promise until both sides realize how unrealistic the concept would be to implement. The extreme factions on the left, those who say, ‘Let Texas go and good riddance,’ will see the light – the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. On the other hand, those calling for an independent, conservative paradise will grow to understand they can’t survive as a separate republic. With any luck, both sides will come to the conclusion that working together is by far the better resolution.”
“And if they don’t?” Heidi asked.
“Look at what happened in Canada back in 1995 when Quebec wanted to split off,” Aaron continued. “And of course, Scotland went through the same exercise just a few years ago. In both of those cases, going to the brink resulted in concessions from both sides. There’s no way Texas would ultimately vote to secede.”
“But,” responded Heidi, “central Europe did split into several smaller countries. Slovakia from Czechoslovakia, for example, occurred while I was at the Department of State. It can happen.”
“In the unlikely event that happens, then let Texas go. Without Texas, the Democrats will enjoy contr
ol of both the House and Senate. You can pursue your agenda and help our nation thrive while our new neighbor to the south struggles. If they secede, I predict that by the beginning of your second term they’ll want to rejoin the union with a mouth full of humble pie. Hopefully, everyone will have learned a valuable lesson, and we can close the divide that separates our people.”
“It will never get to that point,” the former president stated. “The right will take the argument to the edge… they may even stare into that abyss… but it will never happen.”
Heidi looked at her husband, “So you’re in agreement with this move? You think I should go on national television and state my support for this insane idea?”
Mr. Clifton nodded, a sly smile on his lips. “What do we have to lose? No offense, my dear, but you’re too old to run again in four years. Admit it – this campaign has damned near killed you. Besides, as it stands right now, you are not going to win. I think it’s radical, in-your-face politics, and maybe that’s just what the country needs right now. I’ve not heard any better ideas.”
Heidi evaluated her husband’s words, saddened by the realization that as things stood, all of the money, effort, time, and energy she’d invested was about to be for naught. Her mind flashed images of the volunteers, those idealistic, young faces who had pledged their hearts and souls to see her in the Oval Office.
But what bothered her the most was the frightening image of a Republican president who controlled the House and Senate. She believed the people would suffer terribly under such rule, and that troubled her greatly.
“Let’s do it,” she calmly announced. “Somebody write me a speech.”
Aaron reached inside his briefcase, producing a laptop. “I took the liberty of creating a draft, ma’am. It’s on this machine. I’ll be happy to work with you on any changes you see fit.”
It had been easy to draw the national media. With the virtual feast of fast-moving news events of the last few days, the insatiable appetite of the 24x7-news cycle was still ready, willing, and able to gorge even further.
When Aaron had used the phrase, “The most important event in American history since Roosevelt’s request for a declaration of war against the Japanese after Pearl Harbor,” many in the press had rolled their eyes. Heidi Clifton wouldn’t be the first campaigner to oversell an announcement, especially given that her lead had evaporated in less than 48 hours.
The soiree was scheduled at the National Press Club, programmed for prime time television and the source of continuous speculation and rumor.
The fact that Heidi was holding such an event on the eve of a national presidential election sparked even more intrigue. Normally, presidential candidates spent the last few days visiting contested hotspots and trying to woo those last few undecided voters.
With a rousing introduction by the chairperson of the Democratic Party, Heidi took the stage in a conservative blue pantsuit, white silk blouse and the all-important American flag pinned to her lapel. Her arm-sling was adorned with numerous small elephants, a detail that sparked laughter from the applauding crowd as she waved and smiled.
Ascending to the podium, her demeanor could only be described as optimistic, her eyes genuine.
“My fellow Americans,” she began, “Over the last few days, we have seen an unprecedented series of events unfold. I, like many of you, have cried, prayed, cursed, and pondered the seemingly endless stream of headlines that has subjugated our lives as of late.”
Making sure she stared directly into the cameras, Heidi continued. “But most of all, my mind has been focused on the reasons why these events have occurred. I’ve spent many hours talking to experts, interacting with the people, and most importantly, searching my soul for the root source of these troubles.”
“But the ‘why’ isn’t enough anymore. I’ve been seeking a solution... a fix… a course to steer our great nation on a path of justice, prosperity, and liberty for all.”
Heidi took a deep breath, a pause to emphasize the importance of her next sentence. “And I’m pleased to announce to the nation tonight, that my staff and I have crafted what we believe is a revolutionary track that will resolve our political gridlock. I stand before you this evening, full of resolve and confidence, to communicate that I believe the crippling political divisions hamstringing your elected officials can be bridged.”
Scanning the audience, Heidi noted a mixture of boredom and frustration through the ranks of the press corps. I’ll fix that, she thought.
“I don’t hate conservatives,” she began. “I don’t despise, belittle, or ignore their point of view. They are as important to America and any political persuasion or philosophy. And yet, our people have become so divided, so encamped in silos of heartfelt beliefs that our government no longer functions.”
A lackluster round of applause rose from the crowd, Heidi deftly waiting for the support to fade.
“Each side of the aisle has become expert at sabotaging the other. Our two-party system has become a two-warring-party system.”
Again, a bit more enthusiastic response arose from the hundreds of seated attendees.
“I have a message for the progressive citizens listening tonight – your conservative friends and neighbors aren’t going to go away. You’re not going to change their minds. Those of us on the left have long pushed for tolerance, an understanding that not everyone looks like we do, speaks the same dialect, or worships the same God. Yet, for all of our humanity, we will bare our teeth and attack the right without mercy – just because they think differently than we do. This, my fellow progressives, is hypercritical and destructive.
“And I have the same message for those who think more conservatively. Liberals aren’t going away either. We have our beliefs and ideals. You aren’t going to beat us down or convince us by argument or debate. We don’t need your salvation.”
A chorus of clapping filled the hall, a few members of the press beginning to show more interest.
“So how do we fix this?” Heidi asked the audience. “How do we address the social divide that grips our country, a chasm so deep and wide that it renders our great democracy ineffective?”
Pausing as if she expected an answer, Mrs. Clifton scanned the room with a twinkle in her eye. “My proposal is simple, historically successful, and should satisfy the most ardent on both sides of the political spectrum.”
“Throughout the development of mankind, when there was a political, religious or ethnic division of the population, the people separated, the predominant groupings establishing their own homeland, kingdom, or country. Even the United Nations, as late as 1948, saw fit to establish a sanctuary for those of the Jewish faith – Israel.”
Now she had them, several of the reporters perking with attention, a sea of pens scribbling notes.
“I have come to the conclusion that we, the United States of America, need to consider a similar solution. If I am elected president tomorrow, I pledge to all Americans that I will initiate an effort to grant the great state of Texas its independence as a sovereign nation.”
Gasps, murmurs, and a few outright exclamations of surprise swept the room. Heidi didn’t give the disturbance any chance at gaining momentum, increasing the beat of her speech and raising her voice to make sure she held the floor.
“I envision this new nation as a friend and ally. I see the rebirth of the Republic of Texas as a sanctuary for those who wish to be governed by like-minded individuals. I am convinced that the concept is worthy of analysis, the potential deserving of serious consideration.”
Then, the one rough spot of the entire presentation occurred. Heidi paused as if she anticipated applause, but none came. It was a brief, but noticeable moment.
“Many historians have concluded that one of the primary contributors to the fall of the Roman Empire was the sheer size of her economic and geographical mass. I submit to my fellow citizens that we, as a people, are experiencing the same symptoms. It is a fair observation that the federal government has gro
wn too large. It isn’t unreasonable to question so much power being concentrated in Washington, DC. Our founding fathers debated this very subject for years, one of the most hotly contested issues being how much governmental control resided at the federal level versus each individual state. Our population, geographic territory, world influence, and economic engine are scales of magnitude greater than in those times. Have we become too large, too diverse, too secular to be governed successively by a single system? I feel this is an appropriate question for our elected officials to explore.”
She then smiled broadly at the cameras, a slight grin turning at the corners of her lips. “Some pundits will say I’m crazy for going before the nation and floating such a radical concept. They’ll claim I bumped my head in the plane crash and spread rumors questioning my sanity. But out-of-the-box thinking is what is going to save our great nation. New, revolutionary ideas are what helped us achieve a pinnacle, and I believe that same type of clean-slate creativity will be required to keep us there. If I am elected to the Oval Office, I won’t be afraid to entertain any reasonable idea, regardless of its source or the ideology of the creator, and the American people can count on that.”