by Dani Collins
She had had a hard night, she recalled. Had she really done all those things? With Rolf? The same self-conscious angst that had propelled her from his bed to her own accosted her anew. She hadn’t been prepared to wake next to him. What had possessed her to have sex with him?
Really freaking good sex. That’s why it had happened more than once.
But how would it be between them now? Were they a thing? Would she finally start getting to know him as a man, not just this elusive figure who dominated her imagination? She found herself tongue-tied and intimidated often enough as it was. What if he decided once was plenty and she would have to face him with that extremely revealing memory between them?
She hadn’t held back at all.
Dread began weighing her insides. It was high school all over again, when she would have to confront his knowing smirk every day. I know what you like.
Appalled with herself, she lay down on the side of the bed that Nate hadn’t mussed, but stopped short of throwing his pillow over her head. She had to listen for Aiden, but, Ugh. What had she done?
*
She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until someone shook her shoulder.
Nate was filthy. From his short, black hair dusted with ashen grime to the muddy cuffs of his jeans. He stank of melted plastic and sour smoke.
“Thanks for staying with him.” His voice rasped. “Fire’s out.”
“What happened? Is everyone okay?”
“Everyone’s fine, but someone threw a Molotov cocktail through the windows of the new office trailer.”
“Oh my God.”
“We’ve been talking about hiring security down there, but were more worried about theft once we had computers and something worth stealing. Fire was mostly out by the time firefighters got here, but the trailer is gutted and the site is a mess. Pad’s ruined. Lots of cleanup needed. I gotta shower and get hold of my ex, see if she can come get Aiden.”
He was politely asking her to leave. “I can drive him into Haven if that’s easier. Just tell me where.”
“You don’t mind? I’ll give her a call.”
Aiden woke at that moment and sat up, holding up his arms to his dad and starting to cry.
“I’m all dirty, son. Look.”
Aiden stopped crying to look at him. His little face crumpled with disappointment. He swiveled and held his arms to Glory, letting out a pitiful cry that swelled her heart so much, she had to say, “You want to snuggle with me while your dad showers?”
Aiden nodded and Nate picked him up, kissed his forehead, and plopped him into Glory’s lap. “Thanks.”
She settled the weight of the sleepy little boy against her. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and rested against her, breaths jagging with a half-cry, but otherwise calm and sweet.
Nate’s room was a midrange on a middle floor with a bathroom that was fully contained behind a swing door. He gathered a few clothes and locked himself in. The shower started.
She wondered how Rolf was feeling. Murderous, she imagined. The clock showed barely twelve hours had gone by since they’d done the deed. Was he thinking about it at all? Her?
“You have curly hair, too.” Aiden took his thumb out of his mouth to touch a tail of her hair where it lay loose against her breast.
“Almost as curly as you.”
His head nodded against her breast. “And Daddy. And Mommy. Frankie has straight hair.”
She didn’t ask who Frankie was, just played along. “Murphy has straight hair.”
Aiden looked up at her with a grin, wet thumb still in his mouth. “He’s a dog.”
“He is. Hey, what do you say if, after your dad comes out of the shower, I take you for breakfast downstairs? Then maybe I’ll drive you to your mom’s house. I think your dad has to work. Sound good?”
Aiden nodded and settled his head against her breast again with a little sigh.
She did what she had been dying to do and stroked her hand over his soft, frizzy hair. Dear Lord, he was so adorable.
Kids were a very-far-off maybe-someday thing for her. Her mother hadn’t meant to get pregnant. She had loved her daughter with every fiber of her being. She didn’t regret having her, but she had always stressed to Glory that her unplanned pregnancy was a cautionary tale. Her mother had eventually created a small empire with her backlist, but she had always carried a what-if. What would her life have looked like if she hadn’t put her aspirations on hold while she married, birthed, and nursed?
That what-if had Glory thinking it might be a good idea to buy a morning-after pill when she got into Haven later, even though Rolf had worn condoms.
Her mother had wound up married to a man of big dreams, none of which had been hers. Their marriage was successful when measured on the death-do-us-part scale, but they had struggled. Glory had never had the nerve to ask, but she suspected they had stayed together for her. That’s why she carried so much damned guilt.
Rolf was the polar opposite of Marvin, but Glory had first-hand experience with how single-minded and self-interested he was. Okay, in bed he was capable of generosity. She couldn’t deny that, but she would bet any money that he got off on getting women off, so ultimately giving her orgasms had been a selfish act on his part.
In real life, however, she doubted he would set aside his own lofty goals to accommodate hers. Not the way her father had settled for teaching at college so his wife could write.
Nate came out of the bathroom wearing clean jeans and a T-shirt, but still looked exhausted.
“Is Rolf still at the base?” she asked him.
“He was right behind me, probably showering by now. I’d steer clear unless it’s life or death. He and Trigg are wearing crazy eyes.” He plucked his son from her lap and gave him the kind of proud and tender grin that would burst any woman’s ovaries, growling into the boy’s middle so Aiden giggled and struggled to get away. “Thanks for being such a brave little man last night, keeping Glory safe,” Nate said, clutching his boy face to face against his chest.
Aiden hugged his arms around his dad’s neck.
She left them so Nate could dress the boy and get him ready to go back to his mom’s, then met them in the dining room a short time later, once she’d changed into proper clothes and brushed her teeth.
With so many people absent, she had set out breakfast herself, just some muffins and cut up fruit that the cook had prepared along with dry cereal and milk.
Rolf came in, hair damp from a recent shower, dark circles around his eyes and a grim cast to his mouth. He helped himself to coffee and disappeared, presumably commandeering her office again.
He hadn’t looked at her once. Hadn’t looked for her. She had watched the entire time for a hint of acknowledgment, a shred of evidence that their lovemaking was remotely on his mind.
Nothing.
Swallowing the cereal that became a lump in her throat, she tried to pay attention to what Aiden was telling her. Something about a teacher at his preschool, but all she was really thinking was that she should definitely stop by the drug store while she was in Haven.
Rolf hadn’t emerged by the time she was taking Aiden out to her car. Nate had already moved the boy’s car seat, thank goodness. She wouldn’t have a clue how to do it herself.
She looked at her phone for the tenth time in the last ten minutes, even lowered herself to text, I’m going into Haven if you need anything.
Nothing.
She tried not to take it personally. She had been worried for him, but he didn’t need a woman fussing. She was helping him by freeing up Nate.
Aiden sang her songs the whole way into Haven while she drove ten miles under the limit, conscious of Nate’s precious cargo. Aiden’s mom, Wanda, greeted her warmly, then introduced her partner, a woman named Frankie.
“He didn’t tell you,” she said, noting Glory’s surprise.
“Nate’s not a big talker, in case you weren’t aware.”
That made Wanda snort.
“Aiden ment
ioned Frankie earlier, but I thought he was talking about one of his school friends.”
They chatted a few minutes, both women curious about the fire, but Glory knew as little as they did.
“Hopefully they’ll find out how it happened, but, um…” She glanced at Aiden, not wanting to talk too openly about it in front of the boy and risk upsetting him by letting him know the fire was deliberate.
“Of course.” Both women nodded, immediately understanding.
Was the lodge the actual target? Would the arsonist be back? She acknowledged those worrisome thoughts as they moved from the background of her mind to the forefront. How well would she sleep from now on? Would Aiden come stay with Nate if things were so uncertain? Glory missed him already.
“Are the Johanssons going ahead with the hill?” Frankie asked.
“What?” Glory’s heart stopped. “Did Nate imply they wouldn’t? I just assumed…” If they backed out of the hill, the lodge was doomed. Her mother’s money—Her father’s future…
“He didn’t seem worried about his job when I talked to him.” Wanda shared a look with Frankie, but Glory could see wheels turning as they all realized exactly what a setback this could be for the entire town.
“I should get back,” Glory said, feeling nauseous.
“Please keep us posted,” Wanda said.
“Will do,” she murmured, in danger of sinking into despair, even when Aiden hugged her goodbye. What if this little community that was sprouting around her died off before it had a chance to properly take root?
“Thanks, buddy. Where were you when I was in high school?”
Aiden shrugged, giving them all a much-needed laugh.
*
Glory returned to the lodge and found her father doing a walk-through with the deputy fire chief and one of Devon’s guys. They were double-checking the sprinkler and alarm system and discussing the best places to install more floodlights.
She listened in, hiding her cringe at the added costs, but what were lives worth? At the same time, what if they didn’t need it because Rolf decided to wash his hands of this entire operation?
“Has Rolf said much about…anything?” Glory asked her father.
“A rep for the portable office showed up to investigate, confirm they’re not liable. Haven’t seen him since.” He scratched his chest. “And the mayor is here. The police have a team taking photos of the ATV tracks and reviewing the footage from the cameras. A couple of reporters called. They might be here by now.”
All reaction, but what about action? Nate’s ex had put quite a scare in her about whether the hill would push forward.
Glory imagined that discouraging Rolf from redeveloping was exactly what the arsonist was hoping to achieve. Neither he nor Trigg would let it go easily, but she was desperate for reassurance on that.
She didn’t want to express her doubts in front of Devon’s right-hand, though. As friendly as she and Devon had become, she knew sure as kittens had whiskers that Devon would leave a trail of dust at the first sign she wouldn’t get paid.
She looked for Rolf in the office, but it was empty. Trigg and Nate didn’t seem to be around, either. She presumed they were all at the base. She caught up on all the bookwork and bills, went as far as she could with the payroll, and did some rough and dirty calculations on how dire a mess they would be in if Rolf bailed.
Ruinously dire.
The men returned when dinner service was finishing. Rolf was on the phone. All three filled their plates and disappeared into the office, not giving her a chance to ask any questions.
The next day was much the same, with the men spending all their time down at the base. What she did learn was that work was suspended while the investigation was conducted. She finally cornered her father and asked him if Rolf or Trigg had said anything.
“Oh, they wouldn’t give up that easily,” he said, not the least bit fazed.
“But they haven’t said for sure?”
“Don’t borrow trouble,” he scolded.
She caught Nate leaving early that afternoon, a bag over his shoulder.
“Off to see Aiden?” she asked him, heart going cold at the sight of that duffel.
“Um, yeah. Since work is halted, I asked if I could take a week. I’m taking Aiden to see my grandparents.”
“Oh, um, that’s good, but can I ask you something?” She dragged him into the empty office and shut the door. “I need to know. Is this a setback? Or something more serious? Like, is the hill still a go? Do you have a job?”
He went from wary to outright uncomfortable, grimacing before he said, “I signed a bunch of confidentiality agreements, Glory. I can’t speak to something like that.”
“That is not reassuring, Nate. Are you going to be looking for a job while you’re away?”
Another wince as he decided how much to reveal. “I’m taking advantage of some down time. That’s all.”
The coiled knot of dread in her belly grew heavier as he left.
A few hours later, she cornered Trigg as he was feeding the dog. He wasn’t wearing crazy eyes, as Nate had called them, but she had never seen his eyes cold and sharp like that. He was never without a laconic smile and a quick rejoinder.
“Hey,” he said, terse. The most she’d ever seen him resemble his brother.
“I need to know,” she said, looking around to be sure they weren’t overheard, “what’s happening with the hill. Is it—?” She cut her fingertip across her throat.
“Rolf’s headed to Germany tonight. I’ll let you know when I know.”
“Are you serious?” She had liked it better when she thought she was being an alarmist.
“Fucking board. He has to go change all their diapers and feed ’em a bottle so they won’t sell off their stock and run the value of Wikinger into the ground.”
She was hearing words, but through a buzz that filled her head.
“Same thing happened last time, when the avalanche happened. Worst case, we put this on hold a while.”
How long was ‘a while?’ Another fifteen years?
Trigg and Rolf were fine. Trigg could go snowboard to his heart’s content. Rolf would go back to Germany and continue chewing up interns or whatever passed for an honest day’s work in his world. What about her and her father, though? They didn’t have a back burner of time to waste like they did.
“That’s confidential,” he said to her back as she turned to leave.
“What?”
“I know you won’t say anything, but the lawyers always make me say that about big shit like this.”
“What about Dad?”
“Yeah, no. Don’t worry him. Not until we know for sure.”
She let her jaw hang open. “Thanks. Sure. Fine.” What the hell, Trigg?
Chapter Fifteen
BLESSED WINTER – Chapter Five
Page 41, word count = 10,203
Brock’s lips were about to settle on Pandora’s when she sucked in a breath. The hand she had rested on his chest stiffened and held him off. Her brow contorted and she clenched her eyes shut, pursing her lips to pant breaths against his chin.
“Big one?”
She nodded, quick exhalations continuing for more than thirty seconds before gradually tapering off. When she opened her eyes, he was close enough to read the shadows of anxiety lurking in their depths.
“Call your doctor? I’ll just let her know you’re in labor and ask if we should go to the hospital.” When she hesitated, he added wryly, “Pretending it’s not happening won’t make it go away.”
“I know. You’re right. I’m not due for two weeks, though. I’m not ready.” She went to the refrigerator and took a card from under a magnet, bringing it to him.
She went into the bathroom and he placed the call, flicking over to an article on emergency home births while he waited for the call to be answered. In big bold letters, the first instruction said, “Stay calm.” There was a whole paragraph on how natural this process was.
Proof, right there, that the internet was not to be trusted.
A recording came on to say the office was closed and that if this was an emergency, he should call the hospital or an ambulance.
Right. Christmas. Terrific.
He called the hospital’s non-emergency line and explained his situation to the admitting desk. The woman explained hers. A car had failed to stop at an intersection due to ice, taking out a group of drunken carolers. No fatalities, but a lot of serious injuries.
“Is your wife preregistered?”
He didn’t correct her, just read the name of the doctor off the card and gave Pandora’s name, reassured when the woman pronounced Pandora ‘in the system.’
“I’ll notify her doctor’s service. If she’s more comfortable at home, keep timing her contractions and wait until they’re closer together. With any luck, we’ll have this backlog cleared and a bed available when she’s ready to come in.”
Brock ended the call and used his thumbnail to scratch his eyebrow, reminding himself to, Stay calm.
The bathroom door cracked and only Pandora’s eyes peered at him.
“Your doctor isn’t there because it’s Christmas,” he told her.
“I wasn’t worried about this because, I mean, what are the chances of going into labor on Christmas, but… My water just broke.”
“What?” He was on his feet, looking for his car keys. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”
“I want to have a shower first.”
“Pandora—”
“It’ll take five minutes. I haven’t had another contraction since that last one.”
“Okay. Fine. Is there something I can do?”
“Boil water?”
“Haha. I meant pack a bag or something.”
She shook her head. He thought he heard her snicker as the door shut.
He pushed his fingers through his hair and clicked to read the rest of the home birth article, in case she asked him to go into the delivery room with her. Would she? Did he want to? What exactly was he in for? He kept reading and—
Oh.
He was not a squeamish person, but aside from the odd nature program, he’d never seen a birth. What if the umbilical cord was around the baby’s neck? That sounded really worrisome and he wasn’t even the one in labor.