by Nia Arthurs
Creatures of habit, my family moved to the same booth we occupied each time we came in here.
“Hey guys,” Rebecca greeted, when she stopped by to give us our menus. “Who came back this time?”
“She did,” Erin ratted me out.
I chuckled, “I went to L.A. for work,”
The kind thirty-something Creole waitress smiled at me, “Well, I’m glad you made it back safely. So let’s see, two fried chickens, leg, two chicken burgers, and a fried shrimp.”
We didn’t even pretend that she had gotten anything wrong, “That sounds good,” I piped in before my sisters could play their guessing game with Rebecca.
“Ooh, someone’s hungry,” she joked, recollecting our menus and scuffling off to get our orders.
Erin frowned, “You didn’t let us choose.”
“You were going to get fried chicken anyway, kid.” I maturely informed her, and then turned to my parents.
“So, do I get a welcome home party or a new car?”
Mom laughed, “Robert, your child has jokes.”
“It’s a car, isn’t it?” I teased.
Daddy laughed, “You can stay right there and think that.”
Ah, it was good to be back.
After saying grace over our meal, we dived in, the little ones filling me in on all the craziness that had been going on since I left for L.A. almost two months ago.
“Oh, did you hear that Felicia’s getting married?”
“She’s getting married?” I exclaimed, when Mom informed me that my old school chum was tying the knot. “She’s only one year older than me.”
“Well, she’s been with that boy since high school so maybe they might make it.”
Daddy’s brows furrowed, “Let’s hope they know what they’re doing.” Somberly, he eyed his three daughters, “I hope I’ve taught all my babies enough about love and marriage and commitment so that when they choose a man, they’ll choose the right one.”
Daddy’s words pierced my heart and my thoughts turned to Spencer once more. I had been taught to choose wisely. No doubt my daddy’s influence was what truly gave me the courage to walk away from Spencer last night. But there was one thing Daddy had not prepared me for, a life lesson I don’t think any father can truly teach their daughter. And that lesson is the mystery of falling. Not the choosing, not the attraction, not the lust. Falling in love is an unexplainable phenomenon that can hit you at any time and without warning. I could walk away from it. Heck, I moved thousands of miles away from it, from him. But a corner of my heart was chipped away, missing, stuck in the hills of Las Angeles. Would I ever get it back?
The drive home was a quiet affair. I watched the rolling scenes outside my window the way I used to when I was a child. Not much had changed. Belize hadn’t stopped functioning because Melody Reyes had been to the States. The same coconut trees grew fruit near pockets of the sewage tank. The San Cas roundabout still boldly showcased the flags of CARICOM on sixteen foot poles. The people still drove like maniacs on the two lane streets. I belonged here.
When we neared our split level peach house on Joy Avenue, I craned my neck to see if a brand-spanking new SUV was in the garage.
There was none.
Okay, I’d take a gently-used vehicle.
Still nothing.
Dang it.
We all piled out of the vehicle and made our way to the house.
“You need anything, Melody?” Mom asked.
“Nah, I’m fine.”
“Are you gonna give me my presents now?” Eryn asked.
“I don’t know. Should I?”
“I don’t see why not.” She insisted.
“Okay Tiger, let’s go.”
I lugged my suitcase to the living room. Mom designed the house to have an open space. The living room basically flowed into the dining room. There was a dividing wall between the stairs leading downstairs and the kitchen.
Erin perked herself on the huge sofa in the living and waited expectantly for her gifts. I took out the ones I got from the dollar store first and then revealed the more expensive clothes and toys. Eryn seemed to love the dollar store merchandise more than the department stores’. Go figure.
“So, what did you get me?” My beautiful middle sister inquired.
“Uh, my undying love and devotion?”
She got up, “Yeah, I can live without that.”
I laughed, “Okay, okay. Here you go wise guy,” I handed her the watch with spikes on it and a few pieces of clothing that I thought she’d like.
“Cool, thanks Melody,” was her enthusiastic reply. It felt good to be able to bring gifts for my sisters. Eryn was easy to please but Alexis was often closed off and introverted. Knowing that I’d gotten it right with her choice of gifts made me happy.
“What did you get me?” Daddy piped in.
“Uh,”
“And don’t even say your undying love and devotion.” He hugged Mom to his side, “I’m good.”
I grinned and fished out huge bags of his favorite nut trail mix. Those were ridiculously expensive in Belize.
“Honey, let’s send the kid back to States,” Daddy commented when I presented the treats to him. Everyone laughed and it was almost like I’d never left.
“Okay, that’s it, guys.” I wadded up the shopping bags and plastic containers that the various gifts were packed in.
Leaving everyone downstairs to chill, I trekked upstairs to take a nap. I hadn’t gotten that much sleep last night and with the scintillating conversation I’d had on the plane, the desire to sleep had gotten away from me. I was so ready to catch that sucker now.
I opened my room door, expecting to at least see my room cleaner than I’d left it since I hadn’t gotten a car or a welcome home party. What lay before me made me step back in shock. My room was a mess. It looked like a bunch of kids had come in there and thrown all my stuff on the ground.
“Eryn! Alexis!” I yelled, “WHO MESSED UP MY ROOM!”
“Sorry!” they yelled back, “DAD TOLD US TO CLEAN IT BUT BEFORE WE COULD FINISH WE HAD TO GO PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT.”
“Are you kidding me,” I complained under my breath. Picking my way through the clothes and old textbooks, I made my way to my bed which smelt like dust and Febreeze. Too exhausted to even begin to set the room back to rights, I threw myself onto the clothes stacked on my bed and settled in for a good nap.
Just when I’d found a comfortable pocket of space to rest my foot and avoid the mountain of clothes at the end of the bed, a blur shot through my open door and bounded to my bed.
“Melody!”
“Oomph,” I pushed my best friend off of my aching body, “Mia, you’re so heavy,” I complained.
She rolled back over me and plopped herself over my lower torso.
“Oh, is this uncomfortable for you?” she asked innocently.
“Mia!”
She relented and rolled off me.
“That was for not answering my emails, you boob!”
I sat up, “Hey, I was busy.”
She arched an eyebrow. “The only way I’ll accept that pitiful excuse is if Spencer Braden was involved.”
“Wait, how do you-”
“I googled him, you big head. He is fine. I don’t give you wrong, girl. Now,” she rolled on her stomach and propped herself on her elbows, “Give me the details.”
I groaned, “At least shut the door first.”
Mia grabbed a fistful of the clean clothes on my bed and shot it at the door. It shut with a bang. I winced. Yet another mess on my floor.
“Done. Talk. Now.”
I sat up, “Hi Melody. Welcome home, Melody. I missed you, Melody.”
Mia tilted her head to the side and glanced curiously at me, “You cannot seriously expect that from me after all the years we’ve been friends?”
I sighed, “A girl can hope. By the way, I love the outfit you designed for my mom. She looks fantastic. I hope you’re mass producing that thing.”
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br /> “Girl, if I could figure out a way to mass produce all that, I would. But stop trying to change the subject. Spencer Braden. He’s hot. He’s in L.A. and you were totally crushing on him. So what happened? And don’t leave anything out.”
So I obeyed, wiping the sleep from my eyes to recount the most amazing and heartbreaking experience of my life. Mia was deadly quiet as I spoke. Honestly, nothing could get that girl’s attention like a romance drama.
“So let me get this straight. You went to this complete and total stranger’s house and then you let him kiss you and then you had a relationship?” She summed up.
I covered my face with my pillow, “Well, when you say it like that it sounds stupid.”
Mia plucked the pillow from my face and grinned wide, “No way, I feel so proud of you.”
I laughed, “Really? Only you would feel that way.”
“So you broke up with him, huh? Do you think he really meant it when he said that he loved you?”
I thought back to that night, “I don’t even know. I mean, if he did, would he have slept with his secretary like right after that?”
“Yeah, that part’s complicated.”
“And the thing is, I really want to believe that there’s some kind of explanation. I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” I asked, flopping back on my bed and staring at my white ceiling. I’d always wanted to paint that thing some other color than boring white. Always white. Always pure. It didn’t mean perfection. Pure people felt pain too.
Mia lay down beside me, staring up at the ceiling.
“You know, I always wanted to paint my ceiling white.”
“Really?” I’d never known that.
“Yeah, but I never had the guts to. I liked the color red. I always painted my ceiling red.”
“What’s your point, Mia?”
She turned on her side to stare me in the face, “You’re heart has always been more white than mine.”
“Mia, don’t-”
“It’s true and you know it. You’re the sensitive, level-headed one. My parents love you because you always do the right thing. People look at you and they know that you’re someone they can count on.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh shut up and take a compliment,” She admonished, “I have no doubt that Spencer fell in love with you. I mean, you’re sweet, smart, caring, who wouldn’t?”
“Mia, I never knew you felt this way,” I tried to joke.
She punched me lightly, “Get real.”
I laughed, “Look I know you’re trying to make me feel better.”
“Oh no.” I’m going to make you feel worse in a minute, “Look, Mel. You’re a lot more innocent than you think. I mean, you still turn your head when people kiss on T.V.”
“Hey,” I protested, “That’s a hard habit to break.”
“That’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I know that Spencer wanted to sleep with you.”
“The jerk!” I bit out.
Gently Mia scolded, “That desire isn’t a bad thing. It took me a long time to come to grips with this but sex is a gift from God to be used when two people are committed in marriage. But girl, before I accepted that, it was just a casual thing I did when I was attracted to someone. Like … more intense making out.”
I made a face, “Gross.”
“Trust me, it’s not. What it is, is empty.”
“Why are you giving me the sermon? He was the one pushing the sex issue.” I complained.
Mia punched me in the arm again.
“Stop being stubborn. I’m trying to help you understand here.”
“Understand what?”
“From what you described you two did some pretty intense kissing.”
“Yes, and nothing else.”
“Doesn’t matter. For a lot of guys, kissing is just a buildup.”
I threw my hands at that ceiling.
“Great, so now I’m the bad guy.”
“No. I’m not saying that. Spencer is in charge of himself and he has his own issues with self-control. It’s natural to want to be physically close to the one you love, but if you have conviction of being pure until marriage, it would have been safer not to spend so much time alone and in private.”
“Okay, okay, I accept responsibility. But Spencer slept with his secretary hours after we broke up!” I raged.
“Now that is unacceptable. I have no other advice than to cry him out of your system.”
“I feel like such an idiot! I mean, shouldn’t my heart recognize that he’s a jerk-face and move on?”
Mia whispered, “It sounds like he treated you really nice. Apart from the whole sleeping with his skanky secretary thing. And who knows? Maybe you were sent into his life to sow a seed?”
Thinking that a bigger plan existed calmed my heart. Maybe the King could use this mess to make something beautiful. God knows I’d made a big enough mess that he had lots of shards to choose from.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
The first month after being back from L.A., I busied myself with work and family. Teaching my heart to live without Spencer was hard. There were many nights when I stayed up late in my room and Googled him just so that I could see his face. I’d recall the sweet moments that we shared and I’d melt like a marshmallow, entertaining the dream of him coming to Belize and sweeping me off my feet. But then I’d beat myself up as the image of a pants-less Tiffany paraded onto my vision and reminded me that Spencer was a jerk-face and I didn’t need him.
Mia, surprisingly, gave me two whole months to wallow in heartsickness but when August turned to September, she dragged me to her Singles group meetings and encouraged me to meet new people. I hadn’t really been into the Singles scene, but Mia annoyed me until I agreed to go with her.
“How does one even dress for a Singles meeting.” I asked her, “Because we’re all going to scout each other out, right? It’s like Christian Mingle but for free.”
Mia laughed, “Girl that is not what this is. A lot of good people attend these meetings.”
“A lot of desperate people,” I muttered under my breath.
“Are you calling me desperate?” Mia gaped.
“If the shoe fits…”
Mia threw a shoe at my head.
“Ow!”
“That one should fit,” she indicated the cute yellow wedge sandals.
“That thing could have killed me!” I scolded.
“And look, you would have had to die alone, but at least you were never accused of being desperate, right?”
I scoffed, “Geez, you’d think these church people would have more kindness.”
“Tell me about it.” Mia agreed.
I gave in, “Fine, fine. I’ll go with an open mind.”
“Thank you.” Mia repeated, “Now, wear your black button-down blouse, open, with a low cut camisole. You want the girls to play peek-a-boo not fall out of your shirt.”
I gasped, “I thought this wasn’t a big deal.”
“It’s not for most people. But I have someone I want to introduce you to.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mia.”
“Open mind. Open mind.” She reminded me.
I could only sigh and get dressed.
My parents switched churches when I was thirteen. The place of worship we’d been attending had a moral issue. It seemed that our former pastor did more than calculate the taxes with his receptionist.
That seemed to be going around lately as well.
In any event, the family started attending the Holy Ghost Gym on Freetown Road. The non-denominational church preached the Kingdom of God and the pastor, Stanley Longsworth, fed his congregation meat and saved the milk for his parishioners to distribute themselves. I loved our church and was overjoyed when Mia was reborn into the Kingdom and chose to attend the weekly gatherings at the Holy Ghost Gym.
What I didn’t love was the internal drama breeding in the day-to-day running of the church. Adults seem to have this misguided mentality that young
people go to youth group to learn about Jesus. Youth group attendance mathematics! Reasons for attendance can be broken down into three parts. Fifteen percent of the pie went to parental punishment, where the youth did not have a choice and the parent deposited their unwilling child at the church; fifteen percent went to the free food and entertainment provided through games and activities, and seventy percent of youth group members came because… drum roll please… they wanted a girlfriend or boy friend. Singles Group was a more sophisticated and cut throat rendition of youth group. I had no intentions of returning after tonight.
Dressed in Mia’s suggested outfit of choice, I sauntered up the steps leading to the church building.
“I’m nervous; I don’t know why I’m nervous.”
“Relax,” Mia responded, “No one here knows where your heart lies and I don’t expect Singles Group to get your heart back from him. But,” she grasped my shoulders and looked me in the eyes, “You need a push, and this is my way of doing that.”
I nodded and stepped through the threshold.
Papa San’s “Devotion” piped through the speakers and the bass pumped, urging my heart to thump in time to the beat. The Singles Group was in the first floor of the building, so at least it didn’t feel like I was going to a church service. The room was bare and sort of reminded me of what an apocalypse bunker would look like. Still, it was brightly lit and quite a few people were milling about already so the mood was light and upbeat. My eyes immediately sought out the brownies lying delectably on a table spread with other Belizean desserts such as powder buns and potato pound.
“Mia, welcome,” A thirty-something man with a paunch stepped in front of Mia and shook her hand politely. He then turned to me, “Melody Reyes, should I buy a Boledo number? I can’t believe I’d see the day when you’d join us.”
“Well, here I am!” I laughed awkwardly.
“It’s good to see you,” he said and I could tell he was being genuine.
“What’s his name again?” I asked Mia. I saw him around on Sunday mornings but we didn’t necessarily run in the same circles. He wasn’t a close friend of my parents and I didn’t normally associate with random old people at church.