by Brit Vosper
“Look. I’m not one to talk. I was involved with the wrong woman for eight years, and it ended a damn sight worse than what you’re going through.”
No such luck. “Don’t, Marcus.”
“You need to hear this, Aaron.” He paused while he pulled out at the roundabout and joined the stream of traffic. “I have my regrets. I regret how it ended, I regret not getting her out of there, I regret not fucking killing Gian in his sleep. But I don’t regret being with her. It was the best damn eight years of my life.”
I looked back. “Even after all the pain.”
He nodded. “It still hurts now. I’ll admit, there are times I breakdown over it. But the love I felt for her beats everything. I’m honoured to have known that.”
“I’ve never heard you be so sentimental.”
“It’s not the done thing is it. Don’t fucking tell anyone. I’d still kick your arse.”
I laughed. Then sighed and put my head back on the rest. “It’s too late for me now though. I’m not putting myself through this again.”
“Then you’re a fucking fool.”
I glared at him. “Your one fucked up relationship doesn’t give you the right to judge everyone else.”
He gritted his teeth and glanced over. “I’m not judging, I’m telling you. If you’re gonna throw away any chance of love, just because you feel a bit shitty now, then you’re a fucking fool.”
I sighed and turned away from him. I’d be a fool to willingly go through this. Why do people do it over and over, chasing the highs when it can bring such lows?
“I asked you before, and I’m gonna ask you again. Do you love her?”
The pain wrenched my heart enough to know the answer this time. “Yes.”
“Then you chase her and go after that feeling with everything you have.”
“You told me to stay away from her.”
“Yeah, as always, I was trying to protect my daughter. Turns out, my protection fucks everything up. I’m seeing she doesn’t need my interfering.”
“She doesn’t need me.”
“Maybe not, but she wants you and you want her. Make it happen.”
I scoffed. “It’s not that easy.”
“It never is. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.”
“She doesn’t want me. She certainly doesn’t love me. What am I supposed to do?”
He laughed. “You’ve a lot to learn, boy. Of course she fucking loves you. Are you blind or just stupid?”
“She said she hated me. You were there, you heard it.”
He sighed and shook his head. “What she says, what she feels at that point, and what she really feels in her heart, are all completely different things. She’s hurting, she’s confused. I’m partly to blame for that.”
“Partly?”
“Okay, a lot.” He rolled his eyes. “But none of that means she doesn’t love you. Hell, you can see it written on her face.”
It didn’t convince me. The pain in her eyes when she looked at me at the club will haunt me forever. How could she possibly love me and look at me that way?
We drove past a sign for Paddington Station. I pulled out my phone, loaded the clone and brought up the GPS history. It looked like we were only a few streets away. “Keep straight, then take the… third left.”
“Are you sure?”
“That’s what it looks like.”
We turned into a side street. There was a small gated park to our left, and a five story high row of white terraces to our right. Her place could be in a few of them.
“Which one is it?”
“It looks halfway down. Has Milena sent you her address?”
“I haven’t heard my phone.”
There was a space coming up next to the park. “Pull in here. We can see most of the street.”
“Most of the street can see us, too.”
“It’s central London, think yourself lucky we got this.”
Marcus parked up and turned off the engine. Then checked his phone. “Milena hasn’t sent anything.”
“Just keep your eye on the buildings. We should be able to see her if she turns up.”
I settled myself in for the wait. We could be here a while. Looking across at the buildings, I scanned each of the doorways. Eight of them, one per house. She’d most likely live in the fourth or fifth, third or sixth at a push. With this type of building, they only usually had one main entrance on the front, and they were all exposed. It made me question if Olivia would come back here at all. She’d know it’d be risky.
Turning my attention to the park next to us, I glanced through the sparse trees and at the rows of cars lining the streets surrounding it. Most of the parking spaces were taken, but the streets were quiet. Not many places for someone to hide. If Gian’s boys were around they’d be in one of the cars. They all looked empty, but I couldn’t be sure.
I scanned the doors again. Then caught Marcus staring at me. “What?”
“What are you going to do?”
“About what?”
“Olivia.”
“We’ve got to fucking find her first.”
“When we do?”
I shrugged my shoulders as I glanced down and fidgeted with my nails. “What do you think I should do?”
“Fight for her. Show her you love her. Prove it.”
“How?”
He laughed. “That’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself.”
“Thanks for the help. So, you want me to be with her now?”
He smiled. “She’s my daughter. Do I want your hands all over her? No. I know what shit you like to get up to.”
I laughed and avoided his eyes.
“But I’d rather it be you than anyone else.”
I nodded and looked away as movement from the fifth door caught my eyes. A sweet looking young woman with strawberry blonde hair walked out carrying a rucksack. I recognised her.
Hitting Marcus on the shoulder, I pointed at her. “That’s Alice.
“Who the fuck is Alice?”
“Her best friend.” I shook my head. “What do we do?”
“We’re looking for Olivia.”
“Yeah, noted. But what if Olivia has been in contact with her? Think about it. It’s too risky for Olivia to come here, but…”
“She could get Alice to go to her. Fuck.”
“I’m gonna follow her.”
“What if Olivia comes here?”
“Then you stay here and wait.”
Marcus’ face dropped as he looked over my shoulder. I heard the tap of metal on glass behind and my stomach lurched. “Gian’s boys?”
He closed his eyes and nodded.
Fuck. I turned to see the barrel of a gun pointing at me through the glass.
Thirty-One
Olivia
Leaning against the glass next to the main doors of the train station, I watched as people walked about with their day. Anyone who stopped for too long got my immediate attention, but no one looked suspicious. They were just everyday Londoners, meeting friends, wheeling suitcases, and going about their business. I was certain I’d be safe here, but I couldn’t rid myself of the nerves.
Turning back to glance at the clock inside, I sighed as I saw the time. It was half past three. Alice should’ve been here fifteen minutes ago. She was never the most punctual, but I hoped she’d try to be here on time given the circumstances.
It’d only take thirty minutes to get here from our place on the tube, forty tops. I was getting worried.
A loud clatter made me jump in my skin and I spun to see what it was. A guy had dropped his hardshell suitcase next to me. My heart pounded as he eyed me over. I didn’t recognise him. He looked down and reached into his jacket.
I stepped back, my legs tensed to run. My attention fixed on him, eyeballing is every movement. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and sparked one up. My whole body sighed with relief.
If the fucking Syndicate didn’t get me, my heart would.
�
�Olivia!”
Alice stood by the doors with my rucksack strewn over her shoulder. “Oh, thank fuck!” I ran and almost knocked her over as I threw my arms around her, squeezing her tight. “Goddamn, Alice. It’s so good to see you.” I stepped back, smiling at the sight of her sweet features.
Her eyes darted across my face as they filled with concern. “What happened to your face? Where have those bruises come from? Who hurt you?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look like you’ve been through the wars.”
“I’m okay. Nothing that won’t heal.”
She sighed. “Where the hell have you been? I wondered if I’d ever see you again. I’ve been so worried.”
“Let’s just say it’s been a hard few days.”
“What happened?” Her blue eyes were wide and her pink lips curled into a frown.
“I got caught up in some trouble, but it’s over now, or it will be.”
“What kind of trouble?”
I knew she’d try to press me but I couldn’t tell her. “Family stuff. I’m sorry, I can’t say much more.”
“You never can,” she pouted. “What’s going on in your life, Olivia? I wish you’d tell me. Maybe I could help?”
“You couldn’t. Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know.”
She huffed and glanced away. Then grabbed the strap of my bag and handed it over. “Can you tell me what’s so important in this bag, at least?”
I took it and slipped it over my shoulder. “Just some things I threw together in case I needed them. Clothes, money, bank cards, passport…”
“Passport?” She tapped her finger tips together. “Are you going somewhere?”
I swallowed. The sadness gripped heavy in my heart as I thought about leaving. She’d been my best friend for years. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I nodded. “Yes.”
“Where?”
I held her eyes and watched as they blinked away burgeoning tears. This was a lot harder than I expected. “Just away. I don’t know, yet.”
She frowned. “When will you be back?” She’d already guessed the answer.
A lump caught in my throat. I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
“Olivia, when will you be back?” Her lip quivered as she held back her own tears.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I won’t.”
She didn’t answer. I looked back up and she was holding her mouth. Her eyes closed.
“I’m sorry, Alice. I love you, and I’ll miss you so much…” My voice faltered. It took all my effort not to cry. I had to be strong. “But I’ve got to go.”
She threw her hands to her sides. “No. You’re not leaving like this. I won’t let you.”
“I’m sorry, Alice. It’s complicated, but I wish things were different.” I backed away from her.
“No.” She stepped forward following me. “Don’t you do this to me.”
“I’m sorry.” The lump in my throat had grown so much it made it hard to speak. If I didn’t get away soon, I’d breakdown.
“No, Olivia. You can’t do this.” She stepped towards me and grabbed my arm. “Do you think I’ll ever stop worrying about you if you leave like this?”
The pain marred her pretty face. It hurt to see it. I didn’t want to do that to her. “I can’t stay.”
“No, and you can’t just fuck off forever without even telling me why. Don’t you think I deserve that much.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, a tear rolled down her cheek. She was right. I couldn’t do that to her. “Don’t cry.”
“What do you expect? You’re obviously in trouble, and I’ll never know if my best friend is safe or not. What do you think that’ll do to me? I’ll be forever wondering if you’re lying dead in a ditch somewhere. Don’t be so fucking selfish, Olivia.”
It broke my resolve. I sighed. “Okay. I’ll tell you. Please, don’t cry.”
Alice let go of my arm and wiped her face as she huffed away the frustration. The pain was still there, but she was trying to collect herself. I glanced across at St. Pancras and searched for a quiet place I could talk to her out of the way. I remembered the small pub at the front of the station. “Follow me.”
I crossed the road with Alice in tow and up the stairs to the front entrance. There were a few people outside, but it was quiet for a Sunday. Taking one last glance around the large courtyard at the front, I opened the door and gestured for her to enter. We walked through the upscale bar and took a seat in the corner at the back. Alice sat and watched me expectantly, the frown still riddled her pretty face, but she waited for me to settle in and collect myself.
My hands wrung together as I considered what to say. I didn’t know where to begin. “My father is… I’m… My… Fuck! I don’t know.”
“It’s alright, Olivia. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
I sighed. “Can we get a drink first?”
She smiled. “Sure. What d’you want?”
“Scotch. Straight.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “When did you start drinking whisky?”
I shook my head. “Recently.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
“Make it a double.”
She smiled and nodded. I watched her walk over to the bar in her summer dress and kitten heels, completely inappropriate for the autumn season. But she didn’t care. That was her style; sweet and bright. She shined all year round.
Alice was the epitome of innocent. How could I tell her I’m a drug dealing murderer? How could she possibly understand?
It was so far removed from her world. I never wanted her to find out. I didn’t want her looking at me with horror in her eyes as she imagined all the heinous acts I’d committed.
Running crossed my mind as I stared at the door. I’d be quick enough to get away without her catching me. No, I couldn’t do that to her. She deserved better.
I looked back at her stood at the bar. She glanced over and smiled. The warmth reached me from across the room. I had to tell her. She’d never look at me that way again, but to be fair, she’d never look at me again, anyway. Sadness churned in my heart. It would be so hard to say goodbye.
Alice placed the glass in front of me and took her seat. Then raised her glass in the air for a toast.
“To friendship, truth and love.”
I clinked my glass with hers. “To friendship.”
The familiar warm headiness filled my senses as I took a sip. I stared at the glass as I placed it on the table and swirled the contents, avoiding Alice’s gaze as I began my story.
“The logistics company isn’t my family’s only business. It’s one of many covers for the illegal businesses we run. Primarily, drugs.” I glanced up.
She sat with her jaw agape and her eyes wide. “You’re a drug dealer?”
“Yeah. Well, no. Trafficker would be the correct term, but that’s not important. My father heads a ring of organised crime across the country, my sister and I… help him.”
“So, you’re like… a Mafia daughter?”
“Sort of. The Italian Mafia doesn’t have a hold in England. My father’s family way back was part of it, but we don’t work with them. We have our own Syndicate, composed of many factions… criminals.”
Alice laughed nervously. Her face filled with shock. She took a large gulp of wine then stared at me shaking her head. “That’s so cool.”
It wasn’t the reaction I expected. “What? No. It’s awful.”
She grinned and her eyes sparkled. “My best friend is a Mafia Boss.”
“Alice, no. This isn’t like one of those trashy Mafia books you read. It’s brutal and dangerous and… real.”
She tried to contain her smile. “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of what you’re going through. It sounds exciting is all.”
I huffed and shook my head. “It’s not. It’s a nasty business. I’ve never wanted to be a part of it
.”
She nodded in recognition. “Your father won’t let you leave the business. That makes sense now. A lot of things make sense now.”
“Yeah, he’s kept me on a tight leash.”
She shrugged. “So, what’s changed? What happened this week?”
I sighed. “Long story. Do you remember I told you about that delivery?”
“Yeah, that’s all you told me. You were really upset though.”
“One of our shipments was robbed by my father’s rival. A guy called Marcus.”
She tried to hide her smile.
“What now, Alice?”
“I know what you said, but it still sounds exciting.”
I growled. “Yeah, you didn’t have to live through it. Listen to the full story.”
“Okay, sorry. Go on.”
“He stole that shipment to get me in a meeting with him, so he could have me kidnapped.”
Her face dropped. “Really?”
“Yeah. Still exciting?”
She shook her head and her curls whipped across her face.
“That’s where I’ve been for the past week. Held captive by a guy called Aaron.”
“Bloody hell, Olivia. That is awful. Did he hurt you?”
I dropped her eyes and stared at my glass.
She must’ve seen the torment on my face. “Oh, God. Olivia.”
I looked up and waved my hands at her. “No, it wasn’t like that. He didn’t hurt me that way… sort of.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion.
I sighed. “We got close.”
Her eyes lit up as a smile crept across her face. “Really? Like close, close?”
I had to turn away. “Yeah. After a few days, my father found us. He was going to hurt Aaron. I had to save him.”
“What did you do?”
“I called Marcus.”
“His rival? The guy who arranged for you to be kidnapped?”
“Yeah, him. He came with his gang to get Aaron. My father, quite rightly, saw that as a betrayal.”
“So your dad isn’t best pleased with you?”
I laughed. “You could say that.”
“What happened then?”
“I had to leave with Aaron and Marcus. I found out something terrible my father had done. It was the reason he and Marcus were at war.”