In fact, in his arms, I feel delicate for the first time in my life. His palm grinds down against my clit, and I can’t stop my hips from rolling and thrusting up in search of more.
I whimper as I climb closer toward my release, feeling it build inside of me, ready to burst through at any second. It’s going to be huge when it does; it’s going to be magnificent. I can practically taste it.
Ziven’s mouth opens against my neck, and his teeth sink down into my skin, causing me to jerk. Then I come. It’s long, it’s hard, and it’s exactly as I predicted it to be—utterly magnificent.
I slump against him after I catch my breath, and I expect him to remove his fingers from inside of me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he continues to fuck me, gently guiding himself in and out.
“Ziven,” I whisper.
“You’re always so gorgeous when you come. I’ve missed it,” he murmurs against my skin.
Tears prick my eyes at his confession. I wonder, not for the first time, how I could have despised him so much, and for so long? He has to be one of the sweetest men I have ever known. How I had thought of him as this big, bad, evil man, I don’t know.
“Just let me play for a while, yeah?” he asks as he continues to slide his fingers in and out of me, curling them inside every so often.
My head lolls to the side in a lame nod, and I allow him to play. It doesn’t take long before my body is heating back up again and climbing toward a second release. My legs shake as Ziven’s free hand slides under my dress and he grabs the cup of my bra, yanking it down to free my breast. I hum when his fingers pinch my nipple, and he gently tugs.
“Come again. Let me see what I’ve been missing,” he rasps.
I do exactly as he’s asked, wanting to give him whatever he desires. When I’m breathing heavily again, my body completely and thoroughly sated, I turn to him, he’s looking down at me, one hand still cupping my breast, the other my pussy, and he grins.
“What about you?” I ask shyly, my face turning hot just at my words.
“That wasn’t about me, Quinn,” he murmurs, kissing my neck.
“But—.”
“But nothing, katyonak. Seeing you come was my main goal. My cock can be patient, and I know the prize that waits for me will be worth it all,” he rumbles, squeezing me a bit tighter before he releases his hold on my breast and my center.
“I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you,” I whisper as his arms wrap around my waist.
“Nonsense,” he murmurs. “We all make mistakes in our past, shit we wish we could go back and change. The important thing is to move forward.”
“I’m so happy to be moving forward with you, Ziven. I’m so thankful and grateful that you’re giving me a second chance,” I confess.
“You need some rest now, yeah?” he asks, ending the conversation.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
Without a word, he picks me up like a child and walks me into the bedroom. Once he sets me down on the bed, I wrap the comforter around my body and I look up at him. His concerned eyes are watching me, and he lifts his hand before he lets his fingertips run down the side of my face and across my lips.
“This is where you belong, where you’ve always belonged, Quinn.”
Ziven walks away, and I watch him as my eyes grow heavy and close. I’m asleep before he even closes the bedroom door. Two beautiful orgasms lulled me into a peaceful, dreamless nap.
Oliver can’t find Agent Wilson or Quinn’s father. They are seriously fucking ghosts in the wind. That makes me twitchy and nervous. It also makes me not want to leave Quinn, even during the day.
I’m fighting two separate things here. Them, and the mystery man she lived with for six weeks. She’s like a vault, refusing to tell me his name, only that he has a powerful job.
Fuck his powerful job. I’ll kill him anyway—if I only knew who he was.
I pick up my phone to call Mika.
“Boss?”
“Quinn has to leave the condo. She’s been holed up here this whole time. I’m going to take her out shopping for a dress for Oksana’s Valentine’s Day party, but I want to know if you’d be available to escort her if she wishes to leave anytime I’m not around?”
“You want me to be her Byki?” he asks, almost sounding offended. It is well below his position, so I can understand why he’d feel that way.
“She trusts you, Mika. I don’t want to have a stranger around her and have her feel uncomfortable,” I admit.
“Things are good with you?” he asks, not answering me.
“So far, yeah.”
“Then, yeah, I’ll be that for her,” he agrees.
“Spasibo,” I grunt, thanking him.
I go back into my office, avoiding the cookies and breads that are laid out in the kitchen. Another reason Quinn needs to get up and stop hiding out. She’s baking too much. I didn’t think it was possible, but she’ll have to roll me out of the condo if it doesn’t quit. She’s a damn fine baker.
I sit down, turning on my computer screen, and I stare at the two pictures in front of me. One of Agent Wilson, the other of Quinn’s father. I comb through what little documentation that Oliver was able to dig up for me. They both disappeared around Christmas, only a week before Quinn left me.
It makes me curious if it’s all tied together. Her leaving and them disappearing.
It must.
I don’t know how to connect the dots, though. I won’t know until she tells me the name of the man she was with for those weeks.
I stand from my desk, turning my computer off, unable to look at the screen for another second. I decide to go into a room I haven’t’ dared step foot inside of for months.
Standing in front of the door, I turn the knob and slip inside, flipping the light on as I close the door behind me. It smells the way she used to smell. I look around at the settled space. It hasn’t been touched; I would know. I memorized it when she left.
Quinn’s old room.
I don’t know if she’s staying away for a reason, but I’m glad she hasn’t come in here. This is just a reminder of the hell we lived in months ago, when she hated me; when we only spoke enough words to each other to fight. Then we’d fuck and come before turning away from each other again.
I decide to do the one thing I swore I wouldn’t when she left me. It’s time I look through her things. Her clothes are all gone, but everything else of hers she left right here, probably because I bought them all for her. The first place I decide to look for answers are her nightstands.
I sit on the bed and pull open the drawer. There are fliers there for some events that we went to. Nothing too exciting. Charity auctions and dinners that I thought she would enjoy; event’s where I could talk with powerful men without making appointments that leave behind a paper trail.
When I reach the bottom of the drawer, I find a card. Picking it up, I read over it a few times before I realize exactly what it’s for, and who it belongs to.
The District Attorney of Denver, Oswald Johnson. I flip it over and I find he’s hand written something.
CALL ME BEAUTIFUL.
—O.J.
My gut twists as if it knows the truth before my brain can even comprehend. I remember the event where I saw Oswald. It was a children’s charity. I don’t remember the cause, but I remember the evening. We hadn’t been in Denver very long; this was right before Thanksgiving, and she ran from me shortly after—right before New Year’s.
“Ziven?” Quinn yawns from the doorway.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here, staring at this card, knowing that the woman I’ve held affection for over a year has gone to another authority figure, again. This time of her complete and total free will.
“Why are you in here?” she asks, looking around.
Her hair is messy and her eyes look tired, but she’s sexy as fuck all, and I don’t want to be pissed off at her, but I fucking am.
“You ran off with the District Attorney?” I accuse.
Fuck.
I STARE AT ZIVEN, watching the rage twist his features as he realizes that his stated question is, in fact, the truth. My gut wrenches and I place my hand on my stomach to try and keep myself from running or throwing up, or whatever it is I feel like doing right now. His brown eyes pierce me, and the rage—it doesn’t die down. It intensifies.
“What did you tell him?” he barks angrily.
“Nothing. I swear, nothing,” I say through trembling lips. “He knew who you were. He knew you were Bratva, but I didn’t tell him anything.”
“He did all of those things to you? Bruised, raped, sodomized you?” he asks, his accent thickening with each word. I nod, my voice completely escaping me.
“He did,” I admit, my voice thick.
I watch as he stands, slipping the card into the front pocket of his pants, and then he walks past me. Ignoring me, as if I don’t exist.
It takes me a moment before I find my feet and my voice. I turn to chase after him, but on my way, I hear the door slam. The lock clicks into place from the outside.
I flip the door lock and open it, turning my head before I call out his name. He ignores me, his gait fast as he practically jogs away from me. I slip back inside of the condo, locking the deadbolt behind me before I slide down to the floor, my back pressing against the door.
I don’t know how long I sit there. It’s pitch black in the condo, and I’ve been sitting in silence for probably hours. I feel dirty all over again; violated all over again. I feel disgusting.
He knows.
Ziven knows.
There’s now a face to put with the actions of the man who held me captive. I never wanted him to find out. Why—why did he have to go looking?
Eventually, I pick myself up off of the floor and I make my way back into my old room. I doubt that Ziven will want me in his bed again, anyway. This space doesn’t feel like home anymore; I’d been avoiding opening the door, unknowing of what exactly laid on the other side.
I didn’t want the memories of the woman I used to be, the way I took Ziven for granted, the downright bitch I was, to come flooding back. Now that I’m inside, I can honestly say that I feel pity for the girl I once was.
I didn’t know what I had, and I didn’t know the true evils that lurked in broad daylight, that nice and normal looking people could be depraved once their nice clothes were stripped away. I was closeminded and naïve. I was disgusting in my judgement over Ziven.
I walk around the room, my eyes taking in everything around me. It’s exactly how I left it. Then my eyes catch a glimmer of something on the floor. I walk over to the space and see it, the little delicate rose-gold bracelet Ziven bought me. I reach down and pick it up, holding it in my hand. I loved it so much. I cried the day he gave it to me. I’d never had anybody buy me something like it in my life.
Fastening the bracelet to my wrist, I make my way over to the bed. I lay down on the top of the comforter, not wanting to slip between the sheets, even though I’m tired. So fucking tired. I feel awful and sad, and just hopeless.
My body jolts awake, and I look up into Ziven’s eyes. It’s dark, and he’s carrying me through the condo. He lays me down on his bed, and I expect him to walk away, but he doesn’t. He crawls in behind me and pulls me close to his body. His hand wraps around my ribs, just below my breasts, and his legs tangle with mine as his face buries in the side of my neck.
“Ziven,” I whisper.
“No words right now, Quinn,” he rumbles against my skin.
“Just, just promise me you didn’t do anything” I plead.
“My hands are clean,” he murmurs, holding me a bit tighter.
“Do you hate me?”
“Never, Quinn,” he grunts.
“I would hate me,” I whisper.
“You leaving again anytime soon?”
“Only if you want me to. I wouldn’t blame you if you did, not for one second,” I say.
Honestly, I think I would feel better about everything if he would hate me, push me away, and tell me how disgusting he thinks I am.
“Zatknis,” he growls.
“What?”
“Shut up,” he says. I turn around in his arms.
“You just told me to shut up.”
He stares at me, his face emotionless and hard, unrelenting. I wait for him to explain himself, but he doesn’t say a single word, his eyes moving over my face and taking in my surprised state. Then, without a word, his face dips and his lips touch mine lightly before he lifts his head again.
“Stop trying to talk me into making you leave,” he murmurs.
“That’s—.”
“It’s exactly what you’re doing. I don’t want you to leave, katyonak. If I did, you’d be gone. I want you here with me. This version of you that I’ve had here since your return, it’s like a dream come true,” he says, tucking some hair behind my ear.
“But the things he did to me, and I willingly went to him,” I whisper.
“It’s the past, Quinn. I can’t hold it against you. I wish it had never happened, but you wouldn’t be here now if it hadn’t. You’d be bitter and angry with me, trying to find a way to run from me. I’d still be trying to hold onto you with both hands,” he says. I nod in agreement.
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget what he did to me,” I admit.
“No, I wouldn’t think that you could forget it. You can’t let it rule your life, though. He took from you for six weeks. Don’t let him take from you for a lifetime.”
“You’re too good for me,” I say again.
“I’m not a good man, so stop trying to paint me as one.”
“Yes, you are, Ziven. You’re a better man than most, and a better man than I deserve,” I explain.
“I’m two seconds from tearing off your clothes and fucking you right now. Would you think me so great of a man if I did that?” he asks, his voice a bit louder than it was a few moments ago.
I press my thighs together, remembering how he made me come with his fingers, and wanting so much more.
“Ven,” I practically moan.
He rolls so that he’s pinning me to the mattress with his hips and chest, careful to prop his elbows beside my head to keep the majority of his weight off of me.
I can feel his hard length pressing against my belly. Without a thought, I widen my legs so that he falls between them and that hard length is pressed against my center.
“Quinn,” he rasps as his hips gently roll against my panty covered pussy. I lift my legs to wrap around his thighs as my eyes stay glued to his.
“I wouldn’t think of you as a badman if you made love to me, Ziven,” I whisper.
“Made love?” he asks, arching a brow with a grin.
“What is between us, it’s more than just sex. I care for you, and you for me.”
“I do care for you, greatly,” he says.
I feel as though he’s going to add a but to his sentence. I don’t let him; I lift my head and press my lips against his to keep him from talking.
I slide my tongue along the seam of his lips and taste him, urging him to open his mouth. His hips roll, pressing the bulge beneath his slacks perfectly against my clit.
I gasp, and that’s when his tongue plunges into my mouth. He takes from me, as he always has, hungrily and as though he doesn’t know when his next taste will come. I lift my hands and curl my fingers into the back of his hair, feeling the soft strands between my fingers as I hold him close to me.
“I can’t be with you right now,” he whispers as he breaks his kiss and presses his forehead against mine.
“Why?” I practically cry.
“It isn’t right, not yet,” he murmurs as he moves down my body.
I freeze when he hooks his fingers beneath the waistband of my panties and tugs them down my legs.
“Ziven?”
“I can still make you feel good, katyonak,” he rumb
les as his hands gently wrap around my inner thighs and press my legs apart.
I gasp when his tongue licks my entire slit before swirling around my clit.
“Hands on the headboard,” he orders.
My hands fly to the headboard and he chuckles, but all I can think about is having his mouth on me. All of our encounters before I left were fast, hard fucks; never did either of us take any time to explore each other.
Nothing about what we did could be called gentle or even close to loving, but now everything has changed. We’ve changed, our dynamic has changed, and, hopefully, our future has changed.
“You move your hands and you’ll be punished,” he rasps against my pussy.
My legs shake slightly, wanting more of his mouth between them. I don’t think about what his punishment could or would entail. I won’t be moving my hands even an inch to find out. I moan throwing my head back and arching closer to him as soon as his lips close around my clit and he gently sucks.
Ziven’s tongue flicks my clit a few times before he moves down, his nose nuzzling me and his tongue filling my center. My legs automatically try to close, but his hands fly up and pin them down to the mattress. I lift my head as my hips involuntarily roll up in search of more—more of everything.
I moan when his hands slide under me and grab onto my ass, lifting my hips up and off of the bed as he feasts on me. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen—his eyes closed and his mouth devouring me, as though I’m a meal just for him.
I can take no more, my body heating up and my climax on the verge. My fingers tighten around the headboard, and I come on a gasp and a whine.
Ziven doesn’t stop immediately. He continues to slowly fuck me with his mouth, even as I twitch in his hands. Then he lowers me to the bed, his lips kissing each side of my thighs before he crawls up my body and presses his lips to mine. I feel the sweep of his tongue around my mouth before he lifts his head and looks down on me.
“No more talk of leaving or of you not deserving me. It’s done now, yeah?” he asks. I nod once as my answer. “I care for you a great deal. This is a chance at a new beginning, and we’re going to take that. But you can’t keep bringing up the past.”
Protected by the Badman (Russian Bratva Book 6) Page 9