“You did?” the man asked curiously. “I wasn’t aware there were any working stardrive cores on Indacar.”
“I’m not on Indacar anymore, Dad,” Petrick replied, the impatience he was feeling seeping into his tone. “I told you that last night, remember?”
But the projection couldn’t possibly remember that. Petrick had seen its memory reset over and over and over. The question, then, became a rhetorical one and an expression of his frustration at the situation, which grew with each sleeping moment he gained no rest from.
“I’m coming to help you,” he said, looking back down at his doodling.
“Help me?” Fenton asked. “Don’t be silly, Petrick, I’m just fine.”
He came over and sat down next to his son in the grass, and nudged him with his shoulder.
“Why don’t you tell me about this core that you saw?”
“I didn’t get to see it for very long.”
“Well, what did you see?”
“It was smaller than I thought it would be.”
“They don’t need to be very large. Starstuff is microscopic after all.”
“Still, the ship is pretty big. You’d think it would have been the size of an entire room or something. It’s captained by this . . . we think she’s a pirate, but now I’m not so sure.”
“What makes you say that?”
“She had a medallion like yours—the Star Farer’s one you showed me.”
“Well, that’s exciting. Did you ask her about it?”
“No. She doesn’t like me much. And she definitely doesn’t like you.”
“Oh? Well, what about the core, then? We have diagrams around here somewhere, let’s look at some.”
“I don’t want to, Dad.”
Petrick flopped himself full-body into the grass and grasped several blades in his hands and squeezed. They felt so real as they compressed and the tiniest trace of moisture oozed from them and onto his fingers. He let go and brought his hands up close to his face. They were stained bright green. He sniffed. The mixture of slightly sweet earthiness filled his nostrils.
“It’s not real,” he said.
Fenton hadn’t moved from beside him, and Petrick saw a furrowed brow looking down at him. “What’s wrong, Petrick?” he asked gently.
Petrick shook his head. “You won’t understand.”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Fenton said.
“It’s no use, Dad. You won’t understand.”
“Why else am I here, son, if I can’t help you? Tell me what’s wrong, we’ll figure it out together.”
“None of this is real,” Petrick said, closing his eyes. “The grass isn’t, these lessons aren’t, this field, the sky, you, nothing. You aren’t real, Dad. That’s why you can’t help me.”
Petrick felt a hand on his forehead, stroking gently. He opened his eyes and saw that his father was smiling.
“Of course I am real, Petrick,” he said. “This field is real. My words are real.” He tapped his son’s forehead. “I may not be with you right now physically, but I am here.” Fenton tapped the ground around them.
“It doesn’t count if you’re just in my head. That doesn’t make you real.”
“We’re talking right now, aren’t we?”
“But, Dad, I’m asleep right now. I’m just dreaming you, that’s not real!”
“It is absolutely real. You think because I am a projection injected into your unconscious that I’m not real, or that I’m incapable of understanding.”
The statement of self-awareness took Petrick by surprise. His father’s image smiled even more.
“I know who I am,” he said. “And I know you are my son just as I am your father. A piece of him, anyway, but a real piece left behind to be with you. To teach you, and to listen to you, and to help you when you need help. That’s why I exist, son. That is my purpose. Your father is certainly many things, but I am just that thing. I am that piece of him. So, tell me what is wrong.”
The words were like stinging nettle. The simple straightforward declaration of self-knowledge made it all that much worse. When the sound of the roaring hornets rose in the distance, they made him realize why hearing those words was so painful.
“They’re coming,” he said to his father. “They’ll be everywhere in a moment, and I won’t even have you here anymore.”
“Who’s coming?” Fenton asked, looking up into the distance, then back at his son. “Petrick, please tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you.”
In his mind, the thought bubbled up and rose and rose and rose, impossible to ignore: Why not? So far, ignoring the reality of what was coming hadn’t worked one bit. Perhaps he was supposed to ask this piece of his father for help. This time, it was certainly too late. But next time?
“Okay, listen. You sent me a message. You need my help, but I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
“A message?” Fenton looked confused. The hornets were roaring closer.
“Listen!” Petrick said, pulling his father’s face toward him. “We’re out of time right now. But next time I dream, come here, maybe we can work together on trying to figure it out.”
Fenton blinked, then nodded. The hornets were seconds away from them.
“Together.”
“Of course. We can figure out whatever you want, Petrick.”
“Okay,” Petrick said before he flung the two of them into a hug.
His father squeezed back tightly. “I love you,” he said.
The hornets were upon them, sudden and furious, and mercilessly they took from Petrick the one piece of his father that he’d ever had.
28
“IT MAKES me very uncomfortable when you do these things,” Barry declared to Petrick, squirming.
“It was closed and locked,” Suzy added.
“Yeah, but not last night,” Petrick said back. “It was open last night.”
“We’re obviously not supposed to go in there,” Barry interjected, becoming exasperated. “That’s what locked doors mean! ‘Don’t come in.’ But you always go in anyway. Through every locked door, whether you’re supposed to or not. I don’t like that you do that. It makes my chest feel like I can’t breathe, Petrick, and I don’t like it! It’s ruining my appetite.”
The children were in the freshly cleaned mess hall eating another of Haber’s delicious breakfasts. “Breakfast,” of course, being a relative term out in the eternal night as they were. In space, you could have two breakfasts in a row, should you so desire. Balta, Dedrin, and Arris were not present this time, perhaps because their schedules were different.
“I wasn’t going to do anything to it,” Petrick said. “I just wanted to see it. I’ve never seen one in person.”
“Well, it just makes me feel anxious,” Barry said, plopping a morning fruit chunk into his mouth. Petrick thought Barry’s appetite looked just fine. “It doesn’t make me feel interested or anything like that.”
“It was so pretty, you guys. It glowed with this gold color that lit up the whole chamber.”
“Caution would be advised, Master Petrick,” Haber weighed in, setting down a fresh plate of strips. “Particularly around our grumpy captain.”
“Well, it was beautiful. You could see inside the reaction chamber. See the starstuff dancing in there.”
“I thought you said that starstuff particles were too small to actually see,” Barry said, still looking at his meal.
“It must have been under magnification,” Petrick answered. “I wish you could have seen it.”
There was a pause.
“That does sound neat,” Barry said finally.
After ensuring the children had enough food, Haber returned to the cooking area to make more for their host. Suzy was pushing the remainder of her breakfast around her plate, so she was nominated to take it to Balta. She nodded, deep in thought.
“Why do you think Captain Balta is so mean?” she asked eventually.
Haber turned from his cooking to look at
her. “What do you mean, Master Suzy?”
“Petrick, for example. She doesn’t like him because of his dad. Why? And she’s always got that smushed angry look on her face.”
“You mean like this?” Barry scrunched his face up and squinted his eyes. Petrick laughed. It was a pretty dead-on impression. Haber didn’t laugh.
“Stop that, Master Barry,” he said. “It isn’t kind.”
Barry stopped, but Petrick was still chuckling. He got a withering look from Haber.
“You would have to ask the captain,” he said to the three of them, “but I would hazard a guess that Captain Balta used to work in the starstuff mines.”
That sobered the discussion.
Petrick frowned. “How do you figure that, Haber?” he asked.
“That expression which you all find so amusing, where she squints her eyes, is likely due to the fact that the captain can no longer see very well. Anyone who has prolonged exposure to starstuff mining loses the majority of their eyesight. Especially when looking into a bright light source.”
“That’s why she couldn’t see Barry and me on the gangplank!” Petrick said, remembering how Balta had squinted right at them as they were sneaking on board. Haber nodded. “The ramp lights would have been right in her face.”
“Why does that happen in the mines?” Suzy asked.
“Remember, the Wandering Giants are planets without a star, Master Suzy,” he said, turning back to his cooking. “There is no sunrise on them. As in deep space, it is always night. And darkness dims the eyes. They break down from atrophy, and permanently if left in the darkness long enough.” Haber preemptively waved off a question from Barry about the big word. “Atrophy means ‘to gradually decline from underuse,’ Master Barry. In the days where starstuff was overflowing, miners weren’t allowed to work for very long, and they’d be rotated out to avoid overexposure. From what Mr. Dedrin and Ms. Arris described of the draft and mines running dry, such work precautions no longer exist.”
“Okay. So, why would that make Balta not like Petrick so much?” Suzy asked. “Or his dad? What do they have to do with it?”
“My dad was supposed to be the savior,” Petrick theorized for the android. “He was going to fix all of this. Find the Source. Shut down the mines. Save the galaxy. And he didn’t. People believed in him . . . and then he disappeared. Maybe they were left waiting . . . just like me.”
Haber stopped his cooking again and looked at Petrick. “That’s a fair assumption for at least part of Captain Balta’s hostility,” he said.
“I’m not giving up on him,” Petrick said, “even if everyone else has.”
Haber nodded. “I should point out it’s also a fair assumption that there may be many more out here who feel the same way about Fenton,” he said to them. “And therefore you, Petrick.” They all each looked at each other.
“I think it would be best,” Haber continued, “from here on out, to keep who we are and what we’re doing to ourselves.”
“What is that small thing around your neck?” a little voice asked behind Balta, making her jump in surprise and her medallion clink against the readouts she’d been checking.
The rotund woman whirled to see the small girl standing in the cockpit door. She had a plate of food in her hands. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she said. “Is that all you grubby kids do, is sneak around?”
Suzy screwed her own face into a look of defiance. “I’m just bringing you a plate of food because Haber told me I had to,” she said. “It’s not my fault you were so into your stupid screens or whatever they are, and you didn’t hear me.”
Balta harrumphed. “It’s polite to announce yourself, little girl,” she said.
“I’d rather be rolling in a shallow grave than taking pointers on politeness from you, Captain,” she said with complete conviction.
Balta laughed. She could tell it took Suzy by surprise. She stood there awkwardly, with the cooling plate of food in her hands.
“You have a mouth on you,” Balta said to her, between chuckles.
She frowned in response.
“You can wipe that scowl off your face, girl,” she said. “I appreciate someone with a dose of the unexpected.”
“Your food is getting cold.”
Balta nodded and rose from her chair to grab the plate before plopping back down and stuffing her medallion back into her shirt so it wouldn’t get in her food. She ate mostly with her hands, and she grunted after a moment in satisfaction.
“So . . . ,” said Suzy, “what is that thing?” She pointed to the medallion.
Balta grunted without stopping the food shoveling and pulled it out for Suzy to see. She stepped forward and Balta held it close to her face; it was dingy, covered with grime from years of unwashed fingers, but Suzy could make out a symbol of starstuff and some small writing.
“‘Never Defeated,’” Suzy read. Balta yanked it from her grasp and pulled it back into her shirt. “Is that some sort of pirate phrase?”
Balta swallowed. “I’m not a pirate,” she said. “That’s a Star Farer’s medallion.”
“Oh,” said Suzy, recognizing the reference. “Petrick’s dad was one of those.”
Balta’s face darkened. “The Seeker was never a Star Farer. He’s a traitor.”
“You’re very unkind to my friend. For no reason.”
“I and any other captain have enough reason to throw you to the stars, girl.” Balta smacked her plate down onto the panel next to her as if to punctuate her report.
“You mean because of his dad?”
“Yes. Exactly.”
“How do you know he’s so bad? Have you ever met him?”
“The Seeker?” Balta sputtered. “Of course not. But everyone knows he’s a traitor.”
“I don’t. Maybe everyone is wrong.”
“Fenton the Traitor abandoned—”
“‘The Traitor’? I thought you said they call him the Seeker.”
“Sure. They called him that too, before.”
“Before what?”
“Shut your mouth, kid, and I’ll tell you!”
“No need to yell.”
“Stars, don’t you kids ever stop?”
“I’m just pointing out that you were the one who started yelling.”
“And if you don’t shut your mouth, I’m not going to answer any of your questions.” Suzy folded her arms. Balta harrumphed, then picked her plate back up from the console. “We called him the Seeker when we all thought he was looking for the Source like he was a hero. I always thought he was full of it.”
“You didn’t think he could find the Source?”
“Oh, come on, kid. There is no Source. The whole thing was a sham to keep us all in line so the Authority could take over and start sending everyone to the mines. Proven, too, when the Seeker couldn’t deliver. So we then called him the Traitor.”
Balta ate in silence for a moment.
“The Authority sent you to the mines, didn’t they?” Balta didn’t answer. “Haber says it’s why you squint so much.”
“Your robot should stick to cooking breakfasts.”
“So, you blame Petrick’s dad for all that?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I dunno. But there’s no way I want the son of the man labeled ‘the Traitor’ on my ship.”
“Fine.” Suzy turned to leave, and then stopped and turned back. “Just know that Petrick is the smartest person I know,” she said. “Smarter than you or me. And if he says we’re doing the right thing, I believe him and so should you. You should think about what your stupid medallion says because Petrick is my family and I’ll never give up protecting him.”
“Aren’t you orphans? I thought orphans didn’t have any family.”
Suzy’s face reddened as she stepped up to get right into Balta’s face. She was so close, Balta could see she was quivering.
“The first time I met Petrick, he used an electric shocker—which he made himself—to stop three kids twice our size from taking
my dinner. For the third night in a row. He was four. He gave me half his own food, so I didn’t starve. He’s always looked out for Barry and me, and I look out for him. If a family is anything different than that, I don’t want any part of it.”
CLANG CLANG CLANG!
Balta jumped for the second time in as many minutes. The almost-empty plate of food clattered to the deck. It was the proximity alarm.
“We’re here,” said the pirate captain, peering at her readouts. “The Wall.”
29
SLINK WALKED out from one of the docking alcoves that ringed the cavernous port building. He saw the Purveyor in the center of the circular tarmac, looking up toward the night sky above them. The effect was an eerie silvery halo as the moonlight poured through the round opening at the apex of the dome.
This was the third Purveyor for whom Slink had worked. Each had their particular way of doing things. This one was by far the most fastidious, a quality that Slink sympathized with entirely. Attention to detail, keeping everything just so, a place for everything and everything in its place. It was the way the universe was meant to be, Slink believed. Balanced. Orderly. Dispassionate.
Cold efficiency.
He was completely unlike any Purveyor the Authority had ever had before and Slink admired him immensely for it. He was surprised, therefore, to see his master gazing up at the sky, enraptured, in the middle of the rotten chaos of a spaceport that had been left to crumble, with a small smile on his face.
“I can feel you staring, Slink,” the Master Purveyor said suddenly, not taking his eyes from the heavens. “What have you found?”
“The vehicle missing from the old lab was found just outside the city, abandoned.”
Starstuff (Starstuff Trilogy Book 1) Page 18