Deep Blue

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Deep Blue Page 18

by Jules Barnard


  Gen strokes my head for several seconds. “There’s only one thing to do in this situation.”

  “Apply for a heart transplant?” I mumble.

  She reaches over me, smashing my skull on her lap in the process. The television clicks on and I look up. She’s running through our DVR list. The chalet is ancient, but it has a modern television system.

  Obviously, a man owns the rental.

  What Would William Pelt Do? starts up.

  “We ogle hot William for twelve to fifteen hours until our minds go numb,” Gen answers.

  As solutions go, this one isn’t bad. Gen and I watch William’s abs and his dating mishaps for the next couple of hours. I end up laughing so hard my ice cream gut cramps.

  Life could be worse.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jaeger finally called this morning while I was in the shower. It’s what I wanted and what I dreaded. I haven’t called him back. I’m scared. If we don’t talk, I can believe for a little longer that I still have a wonderful new boyfriend. Focus on the positives, like the fact that Gen lined up a job interview for me this afternoon. She was texting back and forth with Nessa last night during our William marathon and apparently scheming. I woke to a note tacked to the fridge that she must have left after I’d passed out in bed.

  Sallee Construction, Pinecone Chalet Business Center. Interview with John Sallee at 2 p.m. Mention me and Nessa and don’t be late!

  The irony of how this summer began, with me thinking I had everything figured out, determined to help Gen, and how it’s ending with our positions reversed, has not escaped me.

  I would have liked to have grilled Gen about this interview, but she left early—Gen, the thou-shall-not-rise-before-ten person. Something has gotten into her. She is not herself lately, but I’m not complaining because she got me an actual interview. I managed to squeeze a couple of details out of her via text before she said she’d be going out of range. Nessa knows the owner, and Gen said to bring my sketches. She didn’t mention what the position was for, but I imagine it has something to do with art. Who cares if it doesn’t? I’m desperate.

  Fingers crossed, I pull up to the Pinecone Chalet Business Center. If this job doesn’t work out, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I threatened myself with going to Harvard, but I won’t. In fact, I notified the university this morning that I won’t be attending. If this job doesn’t pan out, I’ll find another. It might not pay as much, and I’ll have to put off art classes for a while, but it’ll be the beginning of something that feels right.

  The receptionist at Sallee Construction has on a pair of light wash jeans and a purple top, her blond, frizzy hair pulled back in a scrunchy. She’s the complete antithesis of the receptionist who handed me my closing papers at Blue. I’m already optimistic.

  “Just a moment, honey.” She types on her keyboard with the tips of her stubby finger nails and makes a note in a log to the side of her desk. “Okay.” She beams. “What can I do for you?”

  “I’m Cali Morgan. I have an appointment with John Sallee. Genevieve Tierney and Nessa Villanueva referred me.”

  “He’s expecting you. Go right on back. First door on your left.” She smiles and turns back to her computer.

  John Sallee’s office is open when I walk up. He’s flipping through documents on his desk as if searching for something. I knock. “Hello?”

  He looks up, startled for a moment, before a wide smile sweeps his face. “You must be Cali.” He pushes the stack he shuffled to the side, though I’m not sure why. His desk is covered in papers and rolled-up blueprints, as is the rest of his office. Shuffling things around won’t create space; he’d need a shredder for that. “Come on in.”

  I take a seat across from John and sit up to see him over the mountain of crap on his desk. He has one of those friendly faces with dark, tanned skin and deep laugh lines that match his smile.

  “So, I hear you need a job,” he says without preamble.

  I’m like a charity case. “Yes, sir. I do.”

  “And you’re friends with Gen and Nessa?”

  “Gen is my best friend. We went to college together at Dawson University. I met Nessa through her.” I don’t mention the casino. John can read about it on my resume—I’m not hiding the fact that I worked there—but I’m not going to encourage him to contact them. He’d receive the same poor feedback about my employment every other hiring manager did.

  He nods, considering me from across the desk. “Gen said you’re passing up an opportunity to attend Harvard Law to pursue art.” I thought John was Nessa’s contact? When would Gen have spoken to him? John whistles. “You sure you want to do that?”

  My chin tips up. “I’ve been considering a different career all year.” The truth is, I’ve been considering how I wasn’t looking forward to law school all year. I didn’t realize until this summer how much I’d been dreading it. In junior high, the fact that I liked arguing with people seemed a good enough reason to pursue law, but not now. It’s taken me a while to figure that out. I’m stubborn that way.

  “Mm-hmm. Well—” He looks at a piece of paper in front of him. “It says here you’re taking a CAD course.”

  “It begins tonight.”

  “And you took upper division economics at Dawson and are proficient with mathematics.”

  “Uh, higher mathematics, yes.”

  If he wants me to perform advanced calculus, we’re good. If he asks me which way is left or to do simple addition, my brain might implode. The only way I got away with dealing at the casino was by memorizing the card combinations.

  “Okay, well, I’ve got an in-house architect who’s been riding me to hire an assistant with CAD experience. Once you learn CAD, you’ll work exclusively with him. Until then, you’ll do odd jobs for the architect and engineer. An artist comes in handy more than you would think in this business. You’ll be asked to do anything from making coffee runs to sketching a foundation. I’ll pay you a base salary with benefits. You’ll get a raise with your CAD qualifications.”

  John goes over some figures, and with a few quick calculations on my iPhone back at the car, I realize I can actually survive on the salary. It’s not as much as I made as a dealer, but once my pay increases with the CAD skills, I’ll make enough to live comfortably.

  More important, it’s a job. With health benefits. I could kiss Gen and Nessa right now.

  I’m to start the day after tomorrow. John said he’d schedule a staff meeting and lay down the law so his co-workers don’t pull me apart assigning me to projects. He’s actually eager to have me on board, and I’ll be drawing—okay, and making coffee runs, but still. This work will pay bills and give me practical experience as an artist.

  John never asked for references. My connection to Gen, the few sketches I brought per Gen’s suggestion, and my transcripts from college were enough for him to hire me.

  I’m so excited I’m shaking. I pull up to the chalet and Tyler is sitting on the cement pad that is our front porch. His legs are outstretched in the dirt. He looks up, and the permagrin I drove home with fades.

  Something’s wrong. His eyes are fixed and tense, his mouth stiff. I get out of the car and cross to him. “What happened?”

  Tyler picks up a brown pine needle and twists it in his fingers. “I spoke to a friend who ran into Jaeger’s sister.”

  My heart thumps heavily inside my chest. I drop beside him, dust from the powdery soil smearing my navy interview skirt. “Just say it.”

  Tyler bends his legs and props an arm on his knee. “Jaeger’s ex has moved in with him.”

  The pain hits me like a bullet, instant and sharp. I swallow and wobble to my feet, gripping the side of the house.

  Tyler looks up. “Cali?”

  I open the front door and walk into the bedroom, locking the door behind me.

  It’s over. I don’t need to hear the truth from Jaeger and allow things to drag out the way they did with Eric. That would kill me.

  Chapter Twent
y-Five

  Jaeger calls and texts several more times. I delete his number from my phone.

  During the next couple of days, I stay busy in classes and at my new job, but it hurts. It hurts so badly. It’s like the knowledge of Jaeger and Kate together has charred my heart, and left an ugly, thick scar in its place.

  My first day of work, I met all the guys at Sallee Construction. That’s what my workplace consists of—a bunch of dudes, the middle-aged receptionist, and me.

  I get lots of attention.

  The older men treat me like I’m their daughter, and the younger ones check me out when they think I’m not looking. The architect and civil engineer are among the older pack and keep me busy on various projects.

  I worried I’d be fetching coffee and donuts until I learned CAD, but that hasn’t happened. Bill, the architect, saw my drawings the first day and arched his brow. He immediately asked me to produce an artist’s rendition of an upscale strip mall for a project south of the casinos, complete with landscape specifications. I’ve had to look up various regional flora, which give me ideas for new doodles—I mean, drawings—in my free time.

  I’m taking one morning and one evening class and squeezing work in between. I haven’t figured out how I’ll manage to get to and from either place on a regular basis without a car, but between lifts from Gen and Tyler and the bus, I’ve managed so far.

  Almost everyone in my morning art class is female, while everyone in my evening CAD class is male. I’ve talked to a couple of people from both courses and find each group vastly different, yet equally nerdy in their own right. I’m the biggest nerd of all, because I’m in both classes. My geekiness spans the spectrum.

  The evening CAD course is the most difficult to get to because Gen has to work and Tyler wants a social life. I asked around on the first day, and one of the guys in my class was willing to carpool. He lives fairly close to the chalet and doesn’t seem to mind picking me up and dropping me off three nights a week.

  It’s Wednesday, and Leo, the CAD guy, is driving me home. “Are you hungry?” he asks.

  Leo’s been really sweet, and I’ve wondered on more than one occasion if he’s looking for more than a carpool buddy. Particularly given that I can offer nothing in the way of reciprocation without a car.

  “I’d better get home. There’s a project I need to put a few hours into.” It’s really just a sketch of the cascades Jaeger and I hiked at Fallen Leaf Lake. Why I’m torturing myself with a drawing that brings only bittersweet memories makes no sense. My feelings for Jaeger haven’t faded or changed. They are as stubborn as I am.

  He glances over with a smile. “Maybe some other time.”

  Leo’s cute, with a week’s worth of stubble and shaggy blond hair. His eyes are a bright blue and he’s on the tall side, if a bit skinny. When I’m with him, I feel nothing. No zing, no spark. I find I have no interest in men, and there are plenty of cute, rugged ones at work. Between my new job and classes, I’m surrounded by available men, and I can’t appreciate any of them. It’s like Jaeger sapped me of the chemicals needed for attraction.

  Leo pulls into my driveway and I reach for my book bag on the floor, shoving a pencil sticking out into the side pocket.

  “You expecting someone?” he says.

  I look up and my heart races. Jaeger is waiting at the front door. “No,” I say shakily.

  Leo glances from me to Jaeger, his expression hesitant as he takes in Jaeger’s size. “You want me to stick around? I could—”

  “It’s okay. He’s a friend.” For some reason, I feel guilty calling Jaeger a friend, like I’m betraying him with another guy when that’s not the case. I can’t exactly call Jaeger my boyfriend after his ex-girlfriend has moved in. For all I know, Jaeger is here to downgrade me to friend status in person.

  Leo nods. “Okay, well, have a good evening. Pick you up same time Friday?”

  “Thanks, I appreciate the rides.” I close the car door and wait for Leo to reverse. He holds up his hand briefly before pulling onto the street.

  I slowly shift, shoulders, then feet, then lastly my eyes from the gravel to the house and Jaeger with his hands shoved in his jean pockets. His elbows are bent, shoulders hunched to accommodate the length of his arms, the muscles below the sleeves of his T-shirt tensed and corded. His mouth is tight and twisted to the side in a concerned, edgy expression.

  I make my way over, passing him as I approach the front door.

  He grabs my hand, but I slip it out of his grip. “Cali, please. We need to talk.”

  “Tyler told me you’re living with Kate.”

  Jaeger blinks, surprised, but not upset. He lets out a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you.”

  “Does it matter how I found out? You’ve moved on. Obviously.” I unlock the front door and he follows me inside. No one’s home, and that makes me mad. I don’t want to be alone with him.

  All those chemical reactions that hibernate around other guys flared up the second I saw Jaeger. I walk straight to the backyard. At least, out in the open, I don’t smell him, feel him so close to me.

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to call. I had a commission due, and then I went out of town for a couple of days.”

  He went on vacation? With his ex? He thinks that’s an acceptable explanation for why he waited days to call? “Whatever, Jaeger. Why are you here?”

  He flexes his jaw. “I’m trying to tell you, Cali, but you’re making it difficult.”

  “Difficult? I’m making it difficult? Do you want to know what sucks? Finding out your boyfriend has a child. Want to know what else blows? Having him leave you for his ex-girlfriend. Get out of my house, Jaeger!”

  I’m hysterical. All that pent-up pain unleashing on him. At least it’s aimed in the right direction.

  “I’m not leaving,” he says calmly. “We need to talk. You don’t underst—”

  “What?” I hold up my hands. “That we’re over? Oh, I got that when Tyler told me you’re shacking up with your ex. Not much to misinterpret there.”

  “Cali—” His eyes are warm and soft. “—if I wasn’t so frustrated, I’d kiss you. I missed you, feisty.”

  I squint. “Have you lost your mind?”

  He lets out a loud sigh, walks over, and scoops me up. “Maybe. I feel a little crazed at the moment.”

  I glance at the dirt I’m no longer standing on. “Put me the eff down, you giant lumberjack!”

  “Done.” He swings around and stalks into the house.

  “Wait, wait—” I say in a panic. Not the house! “Put me down here.” I wiggle to get loose. “Now, Jaeger!”

  He shifts me over his shoulder, cups my ass with one hand, and opens the bedroom door.

  “Not there! We need to stay in the living room. I’m not going near a bed with—”

  I land on my back cockeyed, my breath rushing out in whoosh. “What. Are. You. Doing!”

  “Trying to get my girlfriend to calm down and listen.” Jaeger leaps on top of me, bracing his weight on his arms on either side of my head.

  He completely ignores my frown and pursed lips, and kisses me, nuzzling my nose before his gaze goes distracted. I’m too stunned to speak. He hovers over me like he’s going to camp out there for a while and his mouth contorts. “Kate’s up to something. I can’t prove it yet. I drove up to North Shore, where she supposedly lived for a couple of years.”

  He’s speaking as if we’re having a normal couple conversation, not like it’s been an entire week since we spoke to or saw each other. Maybe he has lost his mind.

  He looks at my lips, my eyes, his thumb grazing the edge of my jaw. “I tried to track down her friends, an old employer—I found nothing. The woman I spoke to at the Chamber of Commerce said there’s never been a business by the name of the last employer she gave me.” He leans on his elbow and sweeps a lock of hair off my forehead.

  I swat at his fingers. Just because he explained that his trip wasn’t a vacation with his ex, it doesn’t justify hi
s absence.

  Jaeger’s lips quirk briefly, then turn down. He plays with the collar of my shirt. “Kate showed me a picture of the child.” He lets out a puff of air. Even his breath smells good and minty. I scowl. “The girl looks like her, but I don’t know. I can’t tell if she looks like me. Kerstin saw the picture, too, and thinks she could, but I don’t see it. I’ve told Kate I want to take a paternity test. She raged, but finally agreed … as long as we live together.”

  And that’s why this whole thing is so messed up. “Get. Off!”

  Jaeger leans down and actually kisses my chin gently, as if I haven’t said anything. Dammit!

  I could knee him in the groin, but I can’t make myself do it. He’s not a bad guy, and that makes everything so much worse. It would be easier to hate him if he were selfish and terrible, but he’s trying to do the right thing. Plus, he’s extremely hot, and if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want him off me.

  “She doesn’t have money and says they took her daughter away because she couldn’t provide. The little girl lives with Kate’s sister and husband in Reno. Kate refuses to give me her sister’s number for some reason, but I discovered the address through a mutual friend. I’m driving up there tomorrow to hear the sister’s side of the story. I’m positive there’s something Kate’s not telling me.”

  As mad as I am, I have listened, and the one thing that keeps relooping is that he called me his girlfriend at the start of this discussion. He meant it. In his mind, nothing has changed. “Why does she have to live with you?”

  He shakes his head, and suddenly I notice the fine lines at the corners of his eyes. Dark circles mark the tender flesh above his cheeks. “She says she has nowhere to go. If this little girl is mine, I can’t do it, Cali. I can’t turn my back on them. That includes Kate.”

  I squirm and shove him with all my strength. “Get off! Get off me, Jaeger.”

  He grabs my arms and holds me down. “No.”

 

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