Poor kid, Autumn thought. Deshauna obviously felt threatened by Autumn for her father’s affections. She wished she could reassure her that she had no need to worry. Autumn knew she would never have a permanent place in Isaac’s heart.
Isaac turned to Autumn. “What would you like to see?”
She quickly perused the map. “I’d love to see any paintings and sculpture from Europe.”
Deshauna took the map from her brother and folded it. “Dad, can we split up?”
Devon nodded. “Yeah, can we?”
Isaac frowned. “I was hoping we’d explore the museum as a family.”
“We’ll be good, we promise,” Deshauna replied in a sweet voice before elbowing her brother. “Won’t we?”
“Ouch!” Devon rubbed his side. “Yeah. So what do you say, Dad?”
Isaac sighed. “Okay, but be sure and stay with your sister. Let’s all meet back here in an hour and we can check out some of the other exhibits together.”
His children didn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence before they half walked, half jogged away.
Isaac turned to Autumn. “So much for a family outing,” he said with a dejected shrug.
“They’re teenagers. Don’t take it to heart. When I was their age, I didn’t want to hang out with my dad either.”
They walked to the escalator that would take them to the second floor where some of the Met’s vast collection of European paintings were located.
“What does your father do?” Isaac asked as they rode. “Does he work with money all day long like we do?” he teased.
Autumn hesitated a moment, unsure whether to answer what was otherwise a normal question. Even though she knew Isaac would be unable to trace her real identity, she was still fearful. To her, that was just another indication that she still wasn’t used to her new life. But even if she could, she wouldn’t change a thing. Her former employer’s fraudulent accounting practices had bilked thousands of shareholders out of millions of dollars. Exposing these actions had cost Autumn her name, her reputation and career, but it had ultimately led her to Isaac.
“No. He busts bad guys for a living.”
She paused a beat, watching Isaac’s face for any kind of unusual reaction, but there was none, and she exhaled lightly with relief. “He’s been a detective for the borough of Manhattan for over twenty years.”
“Well, I hope if I ever meet him, he’s not packing metal,” Isaac joked.
His broad smile turned grim and his voice was so low Autumn could barely hear him.
“Unlike my son, I don’t have a fascination with guns. I don’t have anything against them. It’s just that when I was growing up, they almost destroyed my life.”
Isaac’s stark honesty made Autumn’s heart squeeze and her legs felt shaky when they disembarked from the escalator.
Without speaking, they wandered through the gallery and gazed at the priceless European paintings, both hoping that the other would break the uncomfortable calm between them.
Finally, Autumn reached out her hand and grasped Isaac’s arm.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked softly.
Isaac looked around, as if to make sure his kids or any other people weren’t in earshot.
“My father shot my mother and then killed himself.”
His response was blunt, yet it didn’t detract from the unmistakable pain etched in his eyes.
Horrified, Autumn breathed in so sharply and loudly that a few people in the room turned in her direction.
Without thinking, Autumn wrapped her arms around Isaac’s neck.
“Oh, my God, Isaac. I’m so sorry,” she managed to choke out.
He shrugged nonchalantly, linking his arms around her waist. “That’s how I ended up being a foster kid. And when I learned that the same thing had happened to Devon and Deshauna’s birth parents when they were little, I adopted them. No kid should have to go through life alone.”
She hugged Isaac even tighter, as if doing so could erase anything bad that had happened, and she realized just how much she was starting to care about him.
“I think what you did for Devon and Deshauna is amazing,” she whispered into his ear. “You’re a very special man.”
Autumn knew adoption took a certain kind of selflessness. Plus Devon and Deshauna were victims of the same unconscionable violence he’d experienced as a kid. Raising them had to bring back painful memories of his own traumatic childhood.
She squeezed him even harder. How was he coping?
“Hey, go easy on the neck,” he said tersely, disentangling himself from her grasp. “I can barely breathe.”
Autumn dropped her arms to her sides. Her face prickled with embarrassment. What had caused her to hold on to him so tightly that she didn’t want to let go? It was crazy. Especially when she knew very well that any kind of relationship with him was not only temporary—it was a mistake.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”
Isaac sighed and ran one hand down his face. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
Autumn nodded and started walking away, pretending to be deeply curious about the paintings that lined the wall.
Pretending she wasn’t falling in love with Isaac.
She stopped in front of Venus and Adonis. She read the little sign on the wall and learned that it was a work by Peter Paul Rubens, a Flemish artist who lived during the late 1500s, early 1600s.
Isaac caught up to her and before he could say anything more, she pointed at the painting. “That’s Adonis to the left. He’s the god of beauty. Venus, the god of love, is to his right. Little Cupid is holding on to Adonis’s leg.”
“The chubby little guy probably wants his bow and arrow back,” Isaac joked.
Autumn rolled her eyes. “I took an art history class in college and I remember that my instructor taught us that this painting is about Venus trying to prevent her lover, Adonis, from going into battle.” She paused and shrugged. “Or maybe it was hunting. I forget.”
“Why would she do that? The man was probably trying to put food on the table for his family.”
She crossed her arms and looked deeply into his eyes. “Because she didn’t want him to get hurt.”
“So what happened?”
“According to myth, he ignores her pleas and ends up getting killed by a wild boar.”
“Wow.” Isaac shook his head. “I guess he should have listened to his woman.”
They both stared at the painting for a moment.
Venus, her skin milky-white, her form Rubenesque. In today’s world, she would be called fat, but Autumn thought she was beautiful. Adonis, clad in an orangish-red tunic, with his long hair and thickly muscled body, was a mythological romance hero. Their figures twisting into each other, toward a fate that was at that point unknown.
Isaac suddenly turned to her. “Will you be my Venus?”
Autumn felt her skin prickle at the heat of his gaze. “Do you mean your lover or your protector?”
He put his hands on her shoulders and touched his forehead to hers. “Both. I want to make love to you, Autumn,” he said softly. “And in the morning, I want you to hold on to me tight, like you did a moment ago.”
“Before you go into battle?” she whispered. At his nod, she asked, “What are you fighting against, Isaac?”
“Certainly not wild boars. Sometimes I think I’m fighting against nothing. Sometimes I think I’m fighting against myself.” He paused and when he spoke again, his low voice caressed her ear. “I want you, Autumn. Last night was wonderful, but it wasn’t enough for me. Not even close.”
Autumn bit her lip and looked up at him. “I want to...but we work together. Things could get com
plicated very quickly. If Sterling or Felicia ever—”
Isaac laid his finger on her lips. “Shh...they won’t. We’ll be careful. I promise.” He kissed her forehead. “Just think about it, okay?”
She nodded and moved her hands up his muscular back and clung to his shoulder blades as he kissed her nose and finally her mouth. Tilting her body against his as he stroked her hair, she opened her heart to him and, in her mind, they were alone as one. In those moments, she felt as priceless as the paintings on the wall.
Isaac’s phone buzzed and reluctantly they drew apart. He ran his thumb over the screen. “It’s Deshauna. They’re downstairs waiting for us by the escalator.”
She looked up at him, her lips still burning from his kisses, her mind in a whirl. “I guess we’d better go meet them.”
As they made their way to the escalator, the floor seemed to be swaying dizzily under her feet and she stopped, trying to gain her footing.
Isaac, thinking she was right behind him, had already started to descend. When he noticed she wasn’t there, he turned around and bolted up the moving stairs.
Autumn stepped back from the escalator. “I don’t know why, but I’m feeling a little disoriented.”
“I’ll help you.” He stretched out his hand. “Just grab me and hold on tight.”
His hand clasped hers, its masculine grip so warm and strong that Autumn felt nothing bad could ever happen to them. But as they stepped onto the escalator together, she knew she was wrong, and that whatever she decided would only result in one thing: heartbreak.
Chapter 10
Isaac stifled a yawn and leaned back in his chair, trying to decide which was worse. An eight o’clock meeting on a Monday morning or a meeting with Felicia. Unfortunately, he was experiencing both.
His eyes drifted around the room and he noted that there were people from all levels of the organization in attendance. He wondered how many of them really wanted to be there. While participation was “voluntary,” the unspoken word was that if you were invited yet didn’t show up, you were not a team player. At least in Felicia’s eyes.
The same verdict held true if a man, namely him, refused her advances.
Felicia rapped her pen on the boardroom table and called the inaugural meeting of the Paxton Employee Satisfaction Committee to order.
Isaac straightened but pressed his back into the chair. This was one meeting that he wished he hadn’t been invited to.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” she began. “I’ve called us together this morning because it has come to my attention that we have a serious morale issue at Paxton that needs to be addressed.” She paused and let her gaze roam around the table. “This committee is going to be responsible for brainstorming ways to fix these issues so that all employees will be happy in their careers at Paxton.”
Isaac stared straight ahead and pretended to be engrossed in whatever Felicia was rambling on about next, but his mind was on Autumn.
The kiss they shared at the art museum had done more than just stimulate his body. It also made him think.
Oh...the possibility that he could have Autumn. It wasn’t just the physical stuff, although that was very important to him. It was everything else that he wanted to share with her but didn’t know where to start.
He hadn’t been this excited about the future since he’d started at Paxton, fresh out of Harvard with no goal other than to make money, and lots of it.
Now, he had the money and two kids to share it with. But he knew that wasn’t enough. He wanted a partner, a woman who was committed to a career and to building a life with him. The only thing he didn’t know was if Autumn wanted the same thing.
He’d meant to sneak out of his apartment on Saturday evening sometime, but Devon got sick soon after they arrived back from the museum. Thankfully, he felt better on Sunday. But by then both kids were busy trying to avoid doing homework, so he spent most of the day encouraging and monitoring them through it while catching up on work of his own.
Now, Isaac was stuck in the meeting from hell.
All of a sudden, he noticed the room was totally silent and everyone in it was staring at him.
His back went ramrod straight, having no idea what was going on.
“Can you repeat the question?” he ventured.
Nobody spoke for a moment and all that could be heard was the faint sound of traffic fifty stories below.
“So let me bring you up to speed,” Felicia said scathingly. “We were discussing some of our employees’ biggest complaints.”
She pointed to a man sitting right across from Isaac. He worked for the information technology department, informally known as PGS, Paxton Geek Squad. Mostly he answered help desk calls, but occasionally when things were really busy, Isaac had seen him around the office troubleshooting and fixing computer issues.
“Jonathan was inquiring why a new employee analyst was given an office when most people, other than executives, are assigned to a cubicle.”
It was obvious that Felicia was referring to Autumn having the office across from his, a fact over which he had no control. Still he was secretly glad she was there and as far as he was concerned, he didn’t want her to move.
Isaac narrowed his eyes. What did she have up her sleeve now?
Jonathan fiddled with his tie. “Y-yes,” he stammered, looking down at the table. “People are upset. It’s not f-fair.”
Isaac leaned forward in his chair. “I can’t answer that question for you. I’m not responsible for work space arrangements.” He turned to Felicia. “Quite frankly, I’m confused as to why this issue even concerns me.”
“Because our employees have the perception that our executive team has special privileges, which could be why morale is lower at the company overall.”
Isaac opened his mouth to argue, but he quickly shut it as he realized what was happening here. Felicia was trying to pin the blame on him for two things that were out of his control: office morale and Autumn’s work space.
Isaac glanced around at the other employees sitting at the table; some he knew, but most he didn’t. Many of them wouldn’t even look him in the eye. What kind of lies had Felicia been feeding them?
He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d met with each person secretly to come up with some kind of accusation to level at him.
There was no way he was going to be a punching bag for their frustrations.
He took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know why morale is down at Paxton. In terms of perks, there is nothing unusual outside of my compensation package, which is, of course, strictly confidential.”
Felicia cut in. “This isn’t the place to—”
“Let me finish please,” Isaac said. “If you are personally unsatisfied in your job, voicing your complaints in a meeting such as this isn’t going to help. Review what you want, compare it against what’s lacking in your job, and discuss your concerns with your supervisor. Otherwise, this committee is little more than a group gossip session.”
When Isaac was finished, he saw a few heads nodding in agreement. Felicia glared at him, but addressed the group.
“Thank you for that insightful career advice. We’ll adjourn the meeting for now and reconvene next week.”
Not if I can help it, he thought, as people began filing out of the room.
As he stood up to make his own escape, his phone vibrated, a signal that his next meeting was due to begin shortly. If he hurried, he could go see if Autumn was in the office yet.
When Isaac walked by Felicia, she reached out her hand and touched him on his arm. Revulsion sifted through him. Despite his anger, somehow he managed to keep his tone light.
“What is it? Haven’t you done enough to try to ruin my day?”
Isaac was beyond tired of Felicia’s little games and they had to stop. It was tim
e he took his own advice. He had to go to Sterling with his concerns. But he couldn’t until after the Witterman pitch. It was more important than ever that he win the business. Maybe then, after signing the elusive multimillion dollar prospective client, Sterling would listen to him.
Felicia tossed her blond hair to one side. “All is fair in love and war.” She squeezed his forearm and her voice was razor sharp. “And if I can’t have love, then...”
Isaac didn’t give her a chance to finish her sentence. He surmised what Felicia was hinting at even though she let it dangle. He shook his arm free from her grasp and strode out of the door.
If this was war, then Isaac knew he needed to prepare for a battle. He hurried down the hall in search of the only person he wanted by his side.
* * *
Autumn sat alone at a table in the corner of the Paxton cafeteria, nestling a fresh cup of tea in her hands. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of Isaac, the investigation and something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint.
She stared down at the white plastic lid and realized how fluid and simple her life was now. She could go anywhere. Do anything. With her government-issued identity, she had no past and no future. She had only the present.
Yet, like the liquid in her cup, she was constrained. By virtue of necessity, whether it was for a particular case or for her own protection, she was held back from doing what she loved out in the open. In the pursuit of the truth, her real self was hidden from others. Her biggest fear was that someday she would look in the mirror and she wouldn’t recognize the person staring back.
With a sigh, Autumn brought the cup to her lips and her stomach clenched when she noticed Sterling walk through the cafeteria door heading for her.
“We need to talk,” he ordered, pulling out a chair opposite her own.
Although there was no one sitting within hearing distance, several people glanced in her direction. Autumn made a mental note to remind him that they needed to meet in his office from now on.
Autumn took a sip of tea and set it down, unperturbed at Sterling’s gruff tone.
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