“You don’t know anything about love,” Hannah returned coolly. “Look at how you behaved toward your grandparents.”
“And you know nothing about the MacDonalds. My mother had a miserable childhood with their religious fanaticism and judgmental attitudes. She made sure I wasn’t exposed to it myself.”
“That’s for sure,” Hannah muttered. His mother had made sure Jake didn’t believe in anything, including family and commitment and having a home.
And she didn’t care. She really didn’t, she told herself as Jake glared, impossibly handsome and desirable and exciting. And she still didn’t care when he grabbed her shoulders and kissed her...though she was too busy kissing him back to think about it.
* * *
JAKE GASPED A few minutes later when he came up for air. Hannah was half lying on the hood of the Jeep, her legs wrapped around his hips. Her shirt was unbuttoned and bra unhooked, and she looked like a sun goddess in the dappled light coming through the trees.
The woman drove him insane.
Death-wish accusations had never bothered him before. People could say what they liked; that didn’t make it true. The only thing that had ever mattered was his photography. Granted, he took chances getting his pictures and it was exciting to see things that few people, if any, had ever seen. But that was the point—it was a great feeling to share those sights with the world. Couldn’t she understand that?
“I’m glad we got that out of our systems,” she said politely, though her eyes still glittered with emotion.
Jake helped her sit upright and tried to ignore the pressure behind the zipper on his jeans, knowing he hadn’t gotten anything out of his system. But he wasn’t going to argue the point, because sex with Hannah might be the riskiest thing he could ever do.
After all, it was women like Hannah who convinced men like him to give up the lives they’d chosen.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SHORTLY BEFORE NOON on Saturday, Barbi hurried down to the craft fair by Memorial Hall and found herself looking for Brendan. He’d been alone each time they’d run into each other lately and, while she still sassed him, the heart had gone out of it. He wasn’t a bad guy, he just needed loosening up.
“Morning, Hannah,” she said at the rescue squad booth. “I’ll take a cup of coffee and some peanut-butter cookies. The ones you make with the chocolate chips.”
Hannah looked pale, as if she hadn’t slept, but she smiled and put her order on the counter. “You can’t beat peanut butter and chocolate.”
“Nope.” Barbi put cream in her cup and stirred it. She wanted to ask Hannah if it was okay to make a move on Brendan. After all, Hannah didn’t seem to care that much about him. But asking if it was okay to make a move on her boyfriend seemed so awkward.
She opened her mouth, only to close it when a group of tourists stopped at the booth, wanting information about the rescue squad.
Barbi waved goodbye and wandered to a quieter side of the park. Sitting under a tree, she tried to ignore the squirrel doing its best to convince her he was starving. “They’re cookies. Sugar isn’t good for you,” she said.
The squirrel twittered and stood on his hind legs, displaying a sizable set of equipment.
“I bet you’re popular with the lady squirrels.”
He flicked his tail.
“What’s that?” asked a voice, startling both her and the squirrel, who dashed up a tree.
Barbi looked up at Brendan. “Nothing. I’m just admiring a well-hung squirrel.”
“Ah.” A hint of red crept up his neck, but he sat down and opened a pizza box between them. “I know you’re probably tired of pizza, but I don’t want to eat alone. Help yourself.”
“Don’t you want to eat with Hannah?”
He shrugged, a funny expression on his face. “She’s busy.”
Barbi looked down at the pizza and blinked. Instead of his usual toppings of sausage, olives and onions, it was her favorite—pepperoni, mushrooms and artichoke hearts.
“You said artichoke hearts sounded awful.”
“Thought I’d give them a try.” Brendan bit into a slice and a smile grew across his face. “Not bad.”
She hid her own smile as she took a bite. “You know, you never told me why you moved to Mahalaton Lake, or why you didn’t go to work for your family.”
Brendan stopped eating and stared into the distance. “I didn’t go back to Boston because I couldn’t fail there. I suppose that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Naw, I get it. Nobody would care if you were good or bad in Boston, just that you were a Townsend. So that’s why you went to Seattle.”
“Yeah. I had to prove myself in Seattle, just like anyone else. And I did succeed. I became a partner and was really moving fast, then someone I cared about at the firm died of a brain aneurysm. There were symptoms, but Maria wouldn’t take the time to see a doctor. After she was gone I decided there had to be more to life than a stack of legal briefs and a high-profile client list.”
“Looking for what it all means, huh?”
“I don’t know about that. I just couldn’t stay. That is, at first I cut back my hours, but the firm didn’t approve. Maria grew up in Mahalaton Lake, so I decided to try to sort things out here. David Walther was her father.”
“I remember Maria,” Barbi said. “She was a year ahead of me in school and was the captain of the debate team.”
Brendan smiled. “Yeah, Maria loved to argue. She used to say that Mahalaton Lake was big enough that you didn’t have to be around people you didn’t like, and small enough that you could know a lot of your neighbors. But I’ve got to admit, a population of three thousand people seems awful small after Seattle. And I don’t know if I’m getting my head in the right place anyway.”
“Well, if you want to do that, you should stop being so stuck-up.”
“I’m not stuck-up.”
“Maybe not, but you act that way. Ease up and ditch the suit. Most of the time you look like a stuffy Perry Mason.”
Brendan shook his finger at her. “Don’t diss my hero. Perry was never wrong.”
Barbi laughed. She still liked giving him a hard time, though it was getting difficult to ignore the buzz low in her abdomen whenever they were together. And it was pretty classy that he’d been willing to make such a huge change in his life when his friend died.
It must have been tough leaving Seattle like that. Just the idea of moving to another town scared the bejesus out of her. But it was the only way she knew to get away from Vic.
* * *
BRENDAN TOSSED A piece of crust to the “well-hung” squirrel that had cautiously returned and was gazing at them with a bright, eager gaze. And he had to admit, it was well hung. Barbi was outrageous, but it was fun listening to her, even if he couldn’t make himself join in. Too bad he hadn’t figured it out earlier.
She also had a good head on her shoulders. He hadn’t exactly thought about his move to Mahalaton Lake as a search for meaning, but that was what it boiled down to. Maria’s death had made him want to change his life, yet all he’d done was change his geography, without really figuring out what else he needed.
“Have some dessert.” Barbi held out a plate of cookies and Brendan took one. He recognized them as one of Hannah’s specialties, but didn’t say anything.
“Thanks. You were right about the pizza toppings, but don’t say you told me so.”
“Me?” Barbi batted her eyelashes and he laughed.
It was strange. He was more comfortable than he’d ever been in his life, even though he was sitting on the ground and becoming aroused at the sight of his companion. Barbi was unabashed about showing off her figure, and while her eye-popping clothes had turned him off in the past, he’d found her more and more appealing over the past few weeks.
After al
l, clothes were just clothes. Who she was was far more important.
* * *
LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON Jake sat on the deck, holding the slip of paper his grandmother had given him in one hand and his smartphone in the other.
The MacDonalds had seemed like nice people, and they’d never suggested that he could have come to visit them, instead of the other way around. Which was true, except he’d never considered it after the things his mother had said.
It was unpleasant to think Josie might have turned her back on two people who genuinely cared about her...and him. They’d certainly cared enough to travel from Minnesota, a trip that couldn’t have been easy considering their age and Dean’s health.
Why don’t you make up your own mind about them?
Hannah’s words kept echoing in his head. She was right. He shouldn’t just accept Josie’s version of things. As much as he loved his mother, she was a hard person to understand—eccentric didn’t begin to describe her.
Actually, there were a number of things he needed to think through. Until meeting Hannah, he’d never fully looked at how different his life had been from other people’s. That didn’t mean he should change it, but there might be other options to consider.
Slowly Jake dialed the phone number on the paper. He waited as the phone rang once, twice, then heard Ruth’s voice say, “Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Jake. I...um, just wanted to be sure you got home safely,” he said.
A shocked intake of breath came over the line. “That’s so thoughtful. We’re fine. We had a smooth flight and the airline provided wheelchair service for Dean.”
“Good. Not too tired, I hope?”
“No...just glad to have seen you.”
“I’m glad, too,” Jake said, meaning it. “I’d better let you go now, but we’ll talk soon.”
Ruth said goodbye and he turned the phone off. Strangely, he wished he could talk to Hannah about it, but they weren’t on the best of terms at the moment.
* * *
HANNAH AVOIDED JAKE all weekend, debating whether she should call off the plans they’d made for Monday—a two-night trip to Mount Baker and across the North Cascades Highway. But since Jake had canceled his Tuesday therapy session to accommodate the trip, she left Danny and Badger with her parents on Sunday evening, and stepped out of Silver Cottage just as the sun was rising on Monday.
The Mount Baker outing would be the first time they’d been away overnight, and Danny had wanted to go so badly she’d almost agreed. But she still believed he would be too bored by the hours Jake could spend setting up his equipment, measuring the light and doing other unknown things before ever taking his first photo.
Hannah doubted they’d see more than the spur road up to Mount Shuksan and Mount Baker, however much Jake wanted a better look at the other mountains north of Snoqualmie Pass. It was a significant drive to Whatcom County—almost to the Canadian border—and he undoubtedly hoped to explore some of the trails. He pushed his body constantly, as if effort alone could make his injuries heal.
The rising sun had bathed the yard in pink light, and she saw Jake waiting by the Jeep, one eyebrow raised in challenge. “I figured you’d cancel after what happened Friday,” he said.
Hannah put two bags and a soft-sided cooler into the cargo area. “You figured wrong. I still took you to see the avalanche lilies, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, and didn’t say a word to me.”
“What else should I have said? You left the craft fair looking for a fight and we ended up kissing each other. End of story.”
“Ah, that’s more like it. Did you make coffee?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Considering the comments you’ve made about people in Washington being obsessed with coffee, I’m surprised you have the nerve to ask.”
“Yeah, you’re obsessed here, and yet the stuff at the pancake supper tasted as if it was made with dishwater and floor sweepings.”
“That’s firehouse brew—strong, cheap and easy.”
Jake still looked hopeful, so she sighed and swung the knapsack off her shoulder. “I’ve got a thermos. I’ve also arranged for my mother to come over and check on your kitten.”
“He isn’t my kitten,” he corrected hastily. “But that’s great. I left a huge bowl of food and water and an extra litter box for Louie, but he’ll probably get lonely without Badger visiting. You’re aware that Badger came over on both Saturday and Sunday, right?”
“I figured that was part of the reason he wanted out a few times. You’ve named the cat Louie?”
“Just for convenience. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Hannah struggled to keep from smiling.
Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Did he remember the movie quote she’d thrown at him?
They headed down the highway with Jake driving, their coffee cups in the holders between the seats. The muted edge of hostility between them was still present, but at least they were managing to be reasonably civil.
And it wasn’t really hostility, more frustrated sexual tension. Part of Hannah wanted to tell him to forget any more outings, but another part was too fascinated by watching him work. And, while she’d only seen a few of the photos Jake had taken, the mountains she loved were slowly emerging...no matter how impossible he might be.
Yet a smile tugged at her mouth as she thought about the kitten they’d left back at Huckleberry Lodge. Jake was so damned determined not to be tied down by relationships, but relationships came in all shapes and sizes, including a kitten with white paws.
“By the way, I got a wood train set for my nephew at the craft fair,” Jake said after they’d reached the interstate and were headed north. “I know Will can’t play with it now, but he might like it when he’s older.”
“That sounds nice. You can give it to your brother and sister-in-law when we see them.”
“I had it shipped. I hadn’t planned to visit.”
Hannah’s jaw dropped. “But we’re going through Seattle. You don’t want to stop to see your brother and the baby?”
* * *
JAKE WINCED. VISITING Matt hadn’t occurred to him, but he could see Hannah’s point. There weren’t any fast bypasses around the city and they would drive within a few miles of Matt and Layne’s house.
“Uh...yeah. Sure, we should stop,” he said. “It’s after seven now. Can you call for me and tell them we’re coming?”
“Okay.”
He explained how to find the number on his satellite phone, and a few seconds later Hannah had placed the call. From the tone of the conversation, it was clear that Layne, who’d answered, was somewhat shocked that her brother-in-law wanted to visit. Damn it, he wasn’t a family person; he’d never claimed to be. Sure, there may have been times when he was growing up that he’d thought it would be nice to have stronger ties, but those moments hadn’t lasted.
“If you’re sure,” Hannah said at length. “Mmm....Yes...I know the area, I went to school in Seattle. It shouldn’t be hard to find....I look forward to meeting you, too.”
She disconnected.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
“We’re meeting them at Matt’s office. Layne says it’s closer to the freeway than their house and she knows we’re in a hurry.”
“Then we’re all set.”
* * *
AN HOUR LATER Jake watched Hannah coo over his nephew and wondered if he was missing something in his genetic code. The infant wasn’t related to Hannah, yet she’d excitedly asked to hold him, while he was afraid to go near the little guy. But it wasn’t because William might spit up or cry. It was because he looked breakable. Life was fragile. Too many babies in the places he’d lived never grew up.
“Never thought this day would come, did you?” Matt a
sked while Layne and Hannah chatted as if they’d known each other for years. “Me, married with a kid?”
“Not after that party you threw the weekend we saw each other in Tahiti. I had a hangover for a week.”
“Please don’t mention that weekend to Layne. Jeez, isn’t she beautiful?” he asked, looking at his wife with a goofy expression.
However attractive she might be, Layne didn’t compare to Hannah, but Jake nodded dutifully. “Yeah. Uh, by the way, I’m having a gift shipped to your house for William. It’s a hand-carved wood train with a circular track, so he won’t be able to play with it for a while.”
Matt grinned. “No problem, I’ll play with it.”
They were getting ready to leave when Hannah pulled a colorful package from her knapsack. “Oops, I almost forgot to give you this.”
It turned out to be a finely crocheted baby blanket that his sister-in-law immediately wrapped around her son. “How beautiful,” she exclaimed. “I love handwork.”
“Me, too.”
They exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, then Hannah kissed Will’s forehead and left with obvious reluctance. Ten minutes later they were back on the freeway, and even Jake couldn’t deny the whole thing hadn’t delayed them for long.
He was expecting a comment to that effect when Hannah said, “I’m starving,” and took a container of cookies from her backpack. “Want one?”
“Later.” Jake glanced at her. “I must have seemed pretty awkward back there.”
“No more than most bachelors.”
The offhand comment was curiously reassuring, and Jake concentrated on negotiating the city traffic. Hannah had offered to drive, and he’d take her up on it after they left the freeway. Once in the mountains he wanted to focus all of his attention on potential places to stop and take photographs.
* * *
HANNAH LOOKED OUT the Jeep window at the city flashing past, aware of a vague ache around her heart. Will was such a sweet baby, and she’d always wanted more than one child. She loved Danny more than anything, but he was growing up so quickly, and who knew if she’d ever meet someone.
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