by Muse, M. W.
“But you think I’m using you?” she asked, and he opened his eyes to meet her gaze.
“I-I thought that, yes, but I don’t think that now. As soon as you said something about being confused because of how strong your feelings are, everything clicked. I wanted to talk to you after first period, but you’ve been avoiding me. Rightly so. But, um, when I came back from lunch and saw that you’d been crying…I felt like shit.”
“I just had a lot on my mind,” she said, looking away from him.
“Please forgive me, baby,” River murmured as he reached up and turned her head toward his.
She looked at him and sighed. “There’s nothing to forgive.” She shrugged. “We’re both trying to figure this out.”
River leaned his forehead against hers as he continued stroking her face. “Last night, when you kissed me, that was the best moment of my life,” he whispered. “I…I wanted to kiss you, but I was trying to be good.”
“I know. When you didn’t kiss me, I felt a little sad, I guess. I didn’t realize I wanted you to kiss me until you actually started to and stopped.”
River’s hands kept stroking her face, but his movements became rhythmic while he breathed heavily through his slightly opened mouth. “Baby, I’m so scared of losing you once I have you,” he said as his voice cracked.
“You know I can’t make any promises right now,” she whispered. “I’m still in love with…with him.”
“I know, and that’s what scares me. You could always go back to him. It was hard seeing you two together before, but if something evolves between us and you go back to him, it’d destroy me,” he whispered, shaking his head against hers.
“I understand,” she said, pulling away from him. “Maybe we should cool it for awhile. You know, until things settle down.”
“No,” River breathed, pulling her head back to his. “As much as I’m scared of losing you, I’m also scared of not doing anything. If I do nothing, then you may very well go back to him or move on with someone else. I’d lose my opportunity to be with the woman I love more than anything.”
She reached up and placed her hands on his chest, the first time she’d put her hands on him since their fight. She gently caressed him there, and his breathing spiked. She kept one hand over his heart while she slid the other hand around his back to lightly squeeze him against her.
River whispered her name while he cupped the back of her head. He lowered his lips and grazed them over hers, moaning before kissing her.
They kissed softly like yesterday, but after a few seconds, something changed. He tugged at her ponytail holder until her hair fell around her face. He grabbed a handful of her unkempt hair with that hand and locked his other arm around her, pulling her up against him, digging his fingers into her waist while he kissed her, hard.
She slid her hand up from his chest into his hair as she returned the kiss. They kept kissing for several seconds before she slowly pulled away.
River wasn’t ready to stop.
He stared at her intensely for a fraction of a second before crushing his lips to hers again. They both kissed each other with equal intensity. River moved one hand and grabbed her wrist. He pushed her hand down his abdomen toward his pants. He was going to have her feel him, which meant them kissing like this was turning him on. Oh gods, she didn’t know if she should touch his dick.
Legacy heard someone fumble with the doorknob. She pulled away quickly and twisted her hair back up with a small smile on her face.
“Legacy?” Olive called out.
“In here,” she said as she finished mussing with her hair.
She glanced at River, and he was smiling too. He had his elbows propped on his knees and was hovering over the evidence of his arousal. That made her want to smile more.
“You two are glowing,” Olive said, amused. “What have you been doing?”
“Er, nothing.” She shrugged.
“We had some things to discuss,” River said.
“Hm, well, Lissa had to work late, so I’m cooking dinner. Do you want to stay, River?”
He glanced at Legacy, and she shrugged.
River stayed the rest of the evening, and they talked freely without anymore kissing. When he got ready to leave, she walked him out, but as soon as she walked outside, she saw Adin’s car at his grandmother’s house and felt a wave of guilt crush her. River was in front of her, but there must have been a noticeable change in her energy because he turned around and stared. He followed the angle of her gaze and closed his eyes when he realized what had shifted her mood.
Not only did she feel guilty about Adin knowing River was here, but she felt guilty for River knowing that she was affected by Adin. She felt bad for both of them. Both!
She really was a terrible person.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she whispered as she turned away from River.
“No, wait.” He seemed to be gathering his thoughts. “This is okay,” he whispered. “Like you said, it’s going to take some time. Neither of us can rush this.”
She looked into his eyes while she felt her breathing hitch. “Thanks,” she muttered while tears leaked from her stinging eyes.
River pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “Shhh…don’t cry, baby.” He kissed the top of her head, and she nodded, pulling away, wiping her tears. “Did you notice that it’s not raining?”
She looked at him quizzically and glanced at the sky.
“That’s one of the reasons I was so shocked when I got back from lunch and Calli said you’d been crying. It didn’t rain then either.”
She nodded. It was an interesting development, but not one she wanted to deal with right now. “See you tomorrow.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead before walking to his car. She didn’t watch him drive away. Instead, she walked right back into the house, still wiping her face. She walked straight into her bedroom and over to her window, staring out into the dusky sky.
She knew why she was doing this to River, but why was she doing this to herself? She really seemed to be making a mess of things. She was not in love with River. She was in love with the man who happened to be right next door at this very moment. As she thought about her love for Adin, she cried again. Maybe Lissa was right. She probably should be focused on fixing the problem River had created by bringing Venus into Adin’s life rather than punishing River for his actions. She wasn’t twelve. Why was she acting like she was?
A knock on her door pulled her out of her reverie. Turning around, she said, “Come in.”
When Adin walked in, she stifled a gasp.
“Hi,” Adin said softly.
“Hi, Adin,” she breathed, turning back toward the window.
“Why are you crying?”
“I, er, just have a lot going on right now,” she whispered.
Adin stepped up against her and wrapped his arms around her. “Does this have to do with why River was over here? Did he upset you?”
“It’s complicated, Adin,” she said, stepping out of his embrace.
“It doesn’t have to be, Legacy.”
If only he knew. If only she could tell him.
“Are you going to explain to me why you’re spending more time with River?”
“No, and I don’t want him to know that you’ve been over here.”
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you why.”
He sighed and shook his head. “Legacy, if you spend time with him, you’ll fall for him. You’re bonded to him through that prophecy. You’re already playing with fire by pushing me away.”
“Look, I can’t explain what’s going on. You’ll just have to trust me.”
He looked at her warily. “You’ve said that before—to trust you. You’re spending more time with River and said that you might date him. How far are you going to take this?”
“As far as I need to,” she said, looking down.
Adin groaned, shaking his head. “Umm, are you planning on bei
ng intimate with him?” She could see just how the very thought of this possibility devastated him.
“That depends on what you mean by intimate,” she muttered, looking away. Gods, she was no better than Laurel Kavanaugh. She didn’t want to think about doing things with River that she’d done with Adin, and she really didn’t want Adin to think about her doing those things with River.
“Well, he’s already kissed you once. Have you kissed since?”
She sighed, not looking at him. Of course he’d want to know that. Her reaction was answer enough.
“When?” he asked, his tone agonized.
“Yesterday,” she whispered, and looked up at him. “And today.”
A low groaned escaped him, his face tortured. “I came over here tonight to tell you I’ll be spending Christmas at my dad’s this year. I leave next week after finals are over. I wasn’t planning on staying after Christmas, but because of what’s happening between you and River,” Adin paused, shaking his head, “I think I might stay there until the next semester starts. I don’t think I can sit by and watch you turn to him like this.”
She hadn’t thought about Adin being gone over Christmas. She knew it was only weeks away, but she really couldn’t think about him being gone for the whole month he was out of school. “I’ll miss you like crazy. No matter how long you’re gone,” she whispered.
“Sweetheart,” Adin breathed, pulling her into a hug.
He held her, gently rubbing her back. When she pulled away from him, she saw his gaze fixed behind her. She turned around to see what he was looking at.
It was her nightstand.
He was staring at the stack of pictures and her watch. She sighed and turned back around. She didn’t know what to say about those things being out when he knew she’d thrown the photos away and tossed the watch into her jewelry box during their breakup. She looked up at him, and he was already watching her eyes.
“I-I just …”
“There’s nothing to explain,” Adin said softly. “I’ve been looking at pictures of you too. I’m just happy you kept them after all.”
She sighed through a small smile. “I, er, would’ve kept the conch shell too.”
“Do you want it back?” he asked, rubbing his hands on her back.
“No.” She looked away from him. “Not yet.”
She glanced back at Adin, and he smiled at the prospect of giving her the shell back because of what it signified.
“Um, have you worn your watch?” he asked, looking tenderly into her eyes.
She took a shallow breath. “Yeah, I slept with it last night.”
Adin brought his hands to her face, dropped his forehead to hers, and rubbed her cheeks. “Will you sleep with it every night? Please?”
“I, er, already considered doing that. Since I can’t be close to you, I think it’ll help fill that void. I know it sounds silly.”
“You can be close to me. You are close to me—no matter how far you push me away or what happens with River, I’m always going to be a part of you.”
She slid away from him and walked to the door, opening it.
Knowing she was ready for him to leave, Adin walked up to her by the door and stroked her arm. “Be careful with this business with River. I don’t want to lose your heart.”
“I don’t want you to lose it.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead before leaving. And it took all her strength to let him go.
Once Adin was gone, she thought about her scheme. Before he’d shown up, she was having second thoughts.
Not now.
After being in Adin’s arms, no matter how briefly, she was reminded what River had caused her to lose. She was reminded of what was still at stake. Not only did she need to punish River for what he’d done to throw off her change and cause Adin harm, but she needed to work at fixing the problem he’d caused, so she could be with Adin again.
There was no reason why she couldn’t do both. And succeed. She had no other choice but to succeed. And since it was River’s fault she couldn’t be with Adin, River was going to help her fix it.
She’d make sure of it.
Chapter Seven
Legacy awoke to her new meditating dream again, but she noticed the field was rather large, larger than she had recalled from her other dreams. As she meditated, clouds rolled in, and she heard her mother’s voice.
“Evil lies inside the good,” she said softly.
The dream was still rather short, and Legacy didn’t know what to make of this new statement. Her mother had been talking about a man lying, but now she talked about evil. Who was evil?
River was a monster. He once had told her even the good people in his family had evil tendencies when he warned her about his mother over the summer.
The other man in her life was Adin. There was no way she believed him to be evil, but she couldn’t help but wonder why he was gifted with certain skills that regular humans were not. He’d told her that everything wasn’t as it seemed. If she looked at him from a detached perspective, she could see how an unbiased person may think Adin could actually be who her mom was warning her about.
But she was biased. She honestly didn’t believe the message was about Adin. Legacy could have considered him before when her mother’s only message had been about a man lying, but not now—not when the warning was about evil. Out of those two, River was still the primary suspect.
She slowly got out of bed and walked to the window she was staring through last night when Adin had shown up. She’d been shocked to see him, but still pleasantly surprised if she was being truly honest with herself. Seeing Adin gave her renewed focus. It was an unfortunate aspect of her scheme that she had to believe she was falling for River, but maybe she’d be able to get away with letting go of her anger and true feelings while he was around. When she’d kissed him the other day, she wanted to. When he’d kissed her yesterday, she enjoyed it then too, but when she was away from him, she still knew where her heart was.
River was an obligation. Nothing more. And she intended on keeping it that way.
She wore her school sweatshirt and jeans in anticipation for today’s pep rally and tonight’s game, but she got up on time, so she was able to fix her hair today.
She headed to school, psyching herself for the challenge ahead. If she kept her focus on the end result—Adin—the details should be inconsequential. Life would be full of tough choices and actions. This was just one of those instances where she had to rise up and meet it head on. And, well, if she needed to chat with Laurel Kavanaugh on the how-tos of becoming a slut, then she’d message her on Facebook. Legacy would stay detached. Period.
She parked her car and headed to their regular picnic table for their morning meet-and-greet before class started. When she rounded the corner, she noticed the table was empty.
Hmmm. She wasn’t early. Class started in less than ten minutes. She put her books down and waited until the bell rang.
Neither Calli nor River showed. She walked to class alone, trying not to think anything of it. She was one of the first students inside the room, so she slowly pulled out her books while the others trickled in.
She heard River’s voice in the hall, and her heart fluttered. What the hell? Don’t think anything of it. Surely, it was just nerves. Yes. Nervous. Obviously, she still needed to work on the whole “staying detached” agenda.
She saw Calli walk in first with River right behind her. Calli had on her cheerleading outfit, and River was wearing his official athletic suit. They both looked up at her and smiled.
“Hey, Legacy, sorry we missed you this morning. River helped me haul the pep rally stuff to the gym so I wouldn’t have to do it later,” Calli said as she took her seat.
“Oh, that’s good,” Legacy said to her. “That was nice of you, River,” she said, looking over at him.
“I’m a nice guy,” he said with a chuckle as he took his seat. His slightly cocky demeanor seemed to be back again.
The mornin
g was uneventful with the classes shortened to accommodate the afternoon pep rally that’d take longer than normal since the basketball players were going to be introduced individually.
They went to the deli for lunch today so River and Seth wouldn’t have anything too heavy on their stomachs for tonight. Legacy and Calli rode with River while Ellen and Thad rode with Seth and Kate in Seth’s SUV.
Lunch was really relaxed. They all talked and laughed as if they were all the best of friends, which should’ve been a stretch for Ellen and Legacy after how the heifer had acted the other day. And if Legacy didn’t know any better, she’d think nothing had happened between her and River. He seemed like his regular, pre-Adin-breakup self. She found some comfort in that. Though a couple of times, she noticed the glint in River’s eyes when he met her gaze. There was no mistaking something was happening between them—it was obvious, if only to the two in question.
They were all shoved around a small table with Legacy sandwiched between River and Calli like always. After everybody finished eating, they still had some time before they had to be back at school, even though lunch was also shortened for the pep rally. While they were all talking, she saw River rub his hands on his legs in a nervous gesture while he spoke to Thad across the table, and then he stealthily slid his hand onto her leg.
Okay. What should I do now? She was talking to Kate who was diagonal to River, so she was already turned in his direction when he’d made his move. She made her split-second decision. Rather than move his hand away like last time, Legacy continued talking to Kate as if nothing had happened.
River kept talking to Thad while he gently stroked her knee, moving his hand up onto her thigh as he sat more upright. He let his fingers fall onto her inner thigh while he lightly caressed her leg.
Legacy suddenly felt flush and lost her train of thought. She glanced over at Calli who must have suspected something was wrong because her BFF gave her a puzzled look. She lightly nodded her head in River’s direction and shrugged off her inquisitive eyes.