by Barb Han
Hudson had let Misty down, too. And he had the nightmares to prove it.
The bullet that had been intended for him had killed two people with one shot.
And he’d lived with the guilt ever since.
Chapter Eleven
“I know your mind is made up and I respect that but leaving now would be a mistake you’ll regret,” Hudson said as soon as Madelyn stepped out and closed the door to his truck. They’d made it home in record time and he’d been lost in his thoughts about Misty.
“What do you care about my choices?” she shot back as she spun around to walk toward the front door.
He shouldn’t want a reporter to stay with him. Her questions were already mounting and she’d need answers soon. If she dug around in his background, she could kick up a whole storm that he wasn’t ready to talk about. His chief had taken pity on him when he’d come clean about the pregnancy and relationship, keeping his name out of the papers. If anyone really wanted to snoop around, a connection could be easily made.
Hudson caught Madelyn’s arm to stop her from walking away. She needed to hear what he had to say. Then if she decided to leave, so be it. He would’ve done his part and his conscience would be clear. He almost laughed out loud at that one. If Madelyn left he was sure he’d get even less sleep than he did now.
“I do care that you seem determined to get yourself hurt or killed.” Madelyn and Misty couldn’t have been more different. There was more of a comradery between him and Misty than the frissons of heat between him and Madelyn. He and Misty had been coworkers with enough sexual chemistry to make going to bed enjoyable. Had there been sizzle? Spark? Not really. His relationship with Misty had been comfortable. She was funny, hot and had kept an emotional distance. Could there have been more between them? Maybe. He figured that no one could get close enough to her to develop real feelings. And that had shocked him even more when she’d become pregnant, because she was on birth control. At least, that was what she’d said.
Sure, they’d spent time together and they’d made love. But their interludes had had more to do with the fact that they worked the night shift when everyone else slept, and had the same time off.
And then she’d admitted to seeing another guy when she thought things might be getting too intense.
Their relationship had developed out of convenience more so than can’t-live-without feelings. He cared about her deeply. Misty had been the last person he’d seriously dated and even that had been more like a friends-with-benefits fling. The fact that his feelings didn’t run deeper than friendship didn’t stop the pain when she’d been killed; losing her and the baby had left a huge gaping hole in his chest. The only way he knew how to close it was to shut down. And that was exactly what he’d done. Quit his job. Moved to Cattle Barge. Shut himself off to the world.
Madelyn stood there, staring at him with a questioning look on her face. He’d slipped into the past and she seemed to know he’d mentally disappeared.
Her foot tapped impatiently and he had the sudden urge to haul her against his chest and kiss her until they both forgot what day it was. And everything else, for that matter. If doing so would solve anything, he’d go all in. But it wouldn’t erase the real problems they faced.
This seemed a good time to say, “You can’t leave until you know what’s going on. You owe yourself that much. This will follow you wherever you go. Talk to the Butlers with me tomorrow and if it doesn’t help you can pack up afterward and head back to Houston. No harm. No foul. But leave without that conversation and you’re always going to wonder.”
Her arms folded across her chest and she sighed sharply, her “tell” that he was making headway.
“What do you have to lose? Your car window needs fixing. I know a guy who can get that done in the morning while we visit the ranch,” he added. Hudson wasn’t sure why it was so important to him to follow this through with her. But it was. A little voice inside his head said that he didn’t want her to leave. That losing her brought back feelings he’d buried a long time ago even before Misty had died. But that didn’t make sense. He’d convinced himself that he was immune, his emotions had died with Misty and he didn’t want to consider other possibilities, like he’d stuffed his true feelings down deep so that he could do the right thing and marry her in the first place.
Dammit. No. He’d cared for Misty. He’d loved his child.
“I’ll call Ed Staples and see if I can arrange it as long as you come with me,” Madelyn said, and he was grateful for the distraction. Rehashing the past wouldn’t change a damn thing. Hudson should know. He’d done that hundreds of times in the past year.
“I’ll put on a pot of coffee,” he said.
“Save mine for the morning.” She looked at him with the saddest eyes as she held up her phone. “I need to make a call and then I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”
She walked away, waiting for him to unlock the door, and that was probably for the best because his damn arms wanted to hold her. He let them both in, locked the door behind them and moved into the kitchen, where he went to work, making coffee and thinking about the questions she should ask the Butlers.
Shower water kicked on in the other room.
He forced his thoughts away from her naked silky skin in his shower. His grip tightened around the mug as he tried to quell the rising tide of hunger welling inside him.
When he heard the water turn off, he stalked toward the bedroom.
* * *
“WISH YOU’D ANSWER my calls. I miss you, Madelyn,” the message from Owen began. “I also realize what a jerk I’ve been. I was hurt and I’m not using that as an excuse but that has to be a little charming, right?”
“It’s right up there with being burned at the stake,” Madelyn mumbled as she listened to the rest.
“If you’ll give me one more chance to prove that I’m not...that guy, I promise you won’t regret it. We had fun together, didn’t we? There’s no reason for it to stop because I got out of hand.”
“You really know how to pour it on thick,” Madelyn said to the phone as she deleted the message.
A knock at the door startled her.
“Hold on a sec,” she said quickly, popping to her feet and glancing down to make sure her towel covered everything. “Okay, come in.”
The door opened but Hudson didn’t enter. “What did the lawyer say?”
Just the sight of him standing at the door, his strong arms resting against the jamb, brought all kinds of sensual shivers skittering across her sensitized skin. She was very aware of how naked she was underneath that towel as heat rushed through her, settling between her thighs.
“He’s setting up lunch for tomorrow.” Although she shouldn’t compare the two, it was impossible not to notice the differences between Owen and Hudson. Owen could be charming but his frame was half that of Hudson. Her host was strong and athletic. He didn’t give away much but there was something brooding deep inside him and she wanted to know what it was. Owen talked too easily, too much about things that didn’t matter.
She tried to convince herself that her finely honed reporter instincts and professional curiosity had her wanting to know more about the handsome cowboy, but there was so much more to it than that.
“Good. Think about what I said earlier.” There was something else on his mind but he didn’t seem able or willing to find the right words to say it.
“No matter how long I stay here, I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done so far,” she said, needing to say the words. “I doubt I’d be alive right now if not for you.”
“You would. You’re smart and beautiful.” He started to turn but stopped. “I’d like you to stay, Madelyn.”
Her name sounded sweet rolling off his tongue and her stomach flipped hearing his words.
“Because I do care about what happens to you, Madelyn.
More than I should.”
* * *
“HAVE YOU HEARD anything else from Kelsey’s attorney?” Hudson asked the next morning. His jeans were low on his hips and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Madelyn shouldn’t notice the ripples of muscles cascading from his chest toward that small patch of hair above his zipper.
“Not yet,” she admitted, seeking coffee like a missile homes in on its target. She checked out the window on her way to the kitchen and saw that the glass had been fixed. She thanked Hudson for taking care of it. “I thought we could swing by the motel this morning and check on Trent.”
The cowboy issued a rare smile. His cheeks dimpled and she decided she liked his face even more.
Two cups of coffee later, they were on the road.
“We played the part of being two people moving through town the other day with the manager. He’ll be suspicious if we walk inside the lobby again and he’s there,” Hudson said as he pulled into the lot of the Red Rope Inn.
“True.” Madelyn glanced around and saw a housekeeping cart. “Let’s ask.”
She hopped out of the pickup and made a beeline toward the cart, which was positioned in front of an open door. “Excuse me.”
An older woman wearing a blue pantsuit stepped out. She glanced at her cart like she was waiting for Madelyn to ask for more towels.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but can you tell me if Trent’s working the front desk today?”
The woman’s head shook. “He’s sick.”
“Thank you.” Madelyn walked back to the truck and closed the door behind her. “He’s got quite an illness.”
“Interesting,” Hudson said. “Kelsey’s suing you and Trent has caught one helluva virus. Seems like these two know more than they’re telling.”
“I checked the news last night and no one’s reporting the story about me being a Butler,” Madelyn said.
“Now all we have to figure out is who knows,” he said, pulling onto the highway.
Forty minutes later, he was being waved through the gates at Hereford.
He parked and followed her to the front door.
Madelyn knocked.
“Come in,” the woman who’d introduced herself as Ella Butler said from the other side of the door. She hesitated for a long moment before opening it.
“I’m here to see Ed Staples,” Madelyn said. Ella looked exactly like her pictures from the society-page stories. Madelyn didn’t want to like the woman who was cold-shouldering her, but she did. Even though she’d grown up in the top 1 percent, Ella spent countless hours invested in community projects and volunteer work. She’d been heavily involved in trying to open a new animal shelter, which had put her in the sights of someone determined to stop her because he wanted to buy the land. He’d come close to shooting her to ensure he got it.
Madelyn had combed the internet last night researching each member of the Butler family. She wanted some idea of what she was getting into today. There were four kids—that everyone knew of—two girls and two boys. All had grown into productive, motivated adults, by all accounts, despite having had everything handed to them.
“The family wants to meet you. My sister, Cadence, is recovering from the flu. She thought she could handle all the media attention, so she came home, but it turned out to be too much for her. She caught the first flight out this morning.” Something moved behind Ella’s gaze that had Madelyn wondering if that were true. A thought struck. Was the media attention getting to the family or was everyone worried now that the Butlers were being singled out and targeted?
Madelyn had read about what happened to Ella. She’d been attacked on a remote piece of the ranch while hiking and had been left for dead. Fortunately, a man on the run had been around to help her recover. A second ambush-style attack had almost killed her but she’d hidden in someone’s front landscaping. The details of how she’d survived were unclear except that she’d gone into hiding with the man who’d saved her life and the two had fallen in love. Madelyn introduced Hudson. Ella was courteous but reserved as she greeted him.
Being in Maverick Mike’s house was unnerving enough thanks to the tension radiating off Ella. But then, Madelyn hadn’t exactly expected the woman to embrace her and call her sister. Heck, Madelyn had been an only child her entire life, so the thought of having siblings didn’t exactly bring warm and fuzzy feelings to her, either. Besides, she wasn’t there for a reunion. She was there to find the truth.
Slipping into her role as reporter and distancing herself from her own emotions was second nature. She’d done it hundreds of times before, figuring it was so much easier to play a part than to admit to her real feelings of disappointment with family. Damn. That was a little too real for Madelyn.
“Your sister was smart to leave. They won’t stop anytime soon.” She referred to the vans lining the street.
“Those people out there are like vultures. They’ll pick the meat off a carcass and fight each other for the last scrap,” Ella said with disdain. “Between them and the people claiming to be a Butler, this town has lost its mind.”
Hudson stepped in between her and Ella. “There’s no reason to be insulting. Your father summoned her. She had no idea about her heritage before then. And she sure as hell didn’t ask to be part of any of you.”
He was being defensive and Madelyn shouldn’t like that he’d come to her defense as much as she did. Someone sticking up for her was a nice change.
Ella seemed poised to make a comeback.
“It’s okay, Hudson,” Madelyn interrupted, managing a weak smile as she put a hand on his arm. “I’m sure she wasn’t talking about me.”
She could handle Ella Butler. From everything she’d heard in the news, Ella was decent and kind. She’d come around to have a civilized conversation at some point.
“Is Mr. Staples here?” Madelyn asked.
Ella seemed to size her up. “I’ll get him.”
Before she could turn around, footsteps sounded behind her on the tile.
“Thanks for coming,” Ed said from the office door. “I apologize for being late. I was held up.” His cell was flat on his palm and he shot a look at it. “Crazy thing never stops going off. Please, come in.”
Ella unceremoniously turned and walked down the hall without saying another word.
“The boys are waiting in the dining room,” Ed said.
She introduced him to Hudson before the three of them made the same trek Ella had moments earlier.
The dining room was beautifully appointed. A long table was the focal point of the room. It looked hand-carved and rustic. Places had been carefully set for six people. But there was not a Butler in sight and she had no idea where Ella had disappeared to.
“I can see that no one wants me here, so this is pointless,” Madelyn said, ready to retrace her steps and get far away from the Butler ranch. Being inside made the hairs on her arms prickle. She didn’t fit in here and it was obvious. Plus, the whole place set her nerves on edge.
“Give them a chance,” Hudson defended, surprising her. “I’m only saying that this has to be as much of a shock to them as it is to you.”
“Stay. Please. I’ll round everyone up,” Ed said. He seemed like the only one trying to build a bridge between them on the Butler side. At least she had Hudson and she’d be lost without him right now.
“Let’s sit down and give him a minute to corral the family.” Hudson pulled out a chair for her with a wide smile—the smile that was so good at causing her pulse to race and the sensation of birds to flap wildly in her chest.
“Might as well as long as I’m here,” she said, returning his smile and hoping she had the same effect on him. One step toward the chair had her rethinking her plan. “On second thought, I might handle them better on my feet.”
“Suit yourself.” He took a seat next to the one he’d pulled out for her and picked up
the glass of lemonade on the place mat.
“That any good?” Her journalism background had her standing behind the chair closest to the exit. It was the trick every journalist knew. Sit closest to the door in order to be the first one out if all hell broke loose. The habit she’d picked up in college had stuck.
“It would taste a hell of a lot better if it was coffee,” he stated with a smirk.
Madelyn laughed. She couldn’t help herself. Yes, her body was strung tight with so much tension it felt like her muscles might snap. And that was partly why she laughed again.
The click of Ella’s heeled sandals cut into the lighthearted moment. Madelyn stiffened as she crossed her arms, steeling herself.
“I apologize for being rude before,” Ella started, indicating a seat for Madelyn. The tension in her face hadn’t eased in the slightest but her eyes communicated a hint of warmth. “This situation is a lot to grasp and seeing you made it all so real. I thought I was better prepared and I realize none of this is your fault.”
“For both of us.” Madelyn had performed the calculation last night and realized that she and Ella were the same age. Had Madelyn’s mother known she was having an affair with a married man? “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want any of your money.”
“That wasn’t really on my mind.” The stress cracks on Ella’s forehead said she was being honest. If she was worried about money, it didn’t show. “Will we have a chance to meet your mother?”
“She died having me, so that would be impossible,” Madelyn stated matter-of-factly. “And, no, I’m not proud of the affair she might’ve had with your dad.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Ella offered with a look of sympathy. It was too soon to judge her sincerity, but on face value she seemed honest. And then something changed, a split-second reaction.
“Wait a minute. You’re not claiming to be a Butler?”
Chapter Twelve
“I don’t want to spoil your superior feeling but, no, I’m not,” Madelyn stated a little too indignantly. Wearing her emotions on her sleeve was her personal downfall. Professionally, she could hold the line with the best of them. When it came to her personal life she wasn’t so skilled at hiding her true feelings.