"Yeah? Oh well."
Rob returned. He was about to chastise Margaret, who was leaning over the counter talking to me and looking absolutely nothing like what a librarian should probably look like. In all honesty, Margaret looked more like she should work somewhere a little less intellectual. Looks can be deceiving, though, and she read an insane amount of books. As a history major, she loved books in a different way, too. I really enjoyed talking with her because of that. She brought stories into a different light and supplied information that I never would have thought about; and all while being casual and upbeat about it. I wished I could be more friendly like her, more adventurous.
"Margaret," Rob said, starting into the beginnings of a chastising speech. Then he saw me standing opposite Margaret and stopped.
"Oh. Hi, Elise. How are you? What brings you here?" he asked. "Is everything alright?"
"Books," Margaret said. "Duh. Elise and books are like anyone else and air."
Rob pursed his lips and stared at Margaret.
I stifled a laugh and jabbed her with my elbow. "Margaret! Don't make Rob angry," I said to her, hushed.
"Sorry, Rob," she said. "Elise comes in here a lot, though. I mean..."
"It's nice to have you, Elise," Rob said, ignoring her.
"Thanks," I said. "I'm doing well, too. Everything's fine. I just..."
After entering the library, after seeing Margaret and talking with her again as if I hadn't even left and still worked here, and now seeing Rob too, I felt so much better. I did come here as much as I could, but I hadn't been able to visit too much lately. I had a reason for being here today, though. I told Rob about it and asked him if he'd be able to let me do it. Maybe?
"Of course," he said. "I'm not supposed to, though. Let's keep this between you, me, and the wall."
"What about me?" Margaret asked, pouting.
"You, too," I said, smiling and patting her shoulder.
Rob just laughed. "Come on. I'll get the key. You might want to open a window. No one's been in there for awhile."
...
Lucent attempted to call Elise's phone, but after multiple rings he was directed to her voicemail. He tried calling her again, but had similar luck the second time. A text message met the same fate and went entirely unanswered.
Curious, he thought. She'd asked him to call her once he finished at Landseer Tower, and now she wasn't answering her phone.
Previously, this would have worried him. Irrationally so, though. He knew he needed to stop doing that, to stop obsessing, to stop trying to control every minor part of everything around him. It was extremely difficult, though, especially when it came to Elise. He understood why she should want a moderate amount of distance at times, but he found it hard to stop thinking about anything but her whenever he gave it to her.
Or, no. Distance wasn't a thing for him to give and take. It was something she had all on her own, outside of their relationship. Lucent recognized this, realized the difference, and yet...
He was used to control. Domination and submission. His relationships before meeting Elise were entirely of that nature. He gave, and his submissives accepted. They did nothing without his permission, because if they disagreed with his rules, he never began a relationship with them in the first place. There was more, too. Yes, there was some modicum of intimacy involved. Sex, closeness. He didn't act absolutely formal and austere every second of the day.
He'd never accepted unacceptance before, though; at least not from a woman he was involved with outside of business. Presumably business and pleasure couldn't mix, and yet Miss Elise Tanner was making him question this every single day. Lucent found himself adoring her every chance he got, sometimes for his own reasons and sometimes for hers. They were together, yes, and she was his, but she was not always his, and she wasn't only his. She was hers, too.
He was also hers. He'd always expected his previous submissives to give themselves completely to him, and out of a personal resolve he'd only maintained one submissive at a time, not wishing to muddy the waters, as it were. He'd never given himself to them, though. He'd never connected on a level other than what domination and submission entailed. He preferred an aloof stance with BDSM because it provided him with an answer to one of his needs.
He wanted control, but a part of him yearned for it because it could control him, too. He needed order, desired certainty, hated chaos and illogical thought.
Nothing with Elise was certain. Her logic was without rhyme or reason most of the time. Even when she gave herself to him, he never truly felt as if he was controlling her.
She was, in a lot of ways, perfect.
He wanted to give her everything, all of himself. He wanted her to know him, he wanted to open up for her, and he wanted to become better simply because he hoped one day to be good enough for her. It was a strange cluster of emotions that he'd never truly dealt with before, but he found it oddly palatable.
He knew not to worry, because Elise wouldn't want him to worry. Their relationship had taken a strange turn in those regards. In their private lives, they enjoyed the occasional bout of BDSM, with him being the dominant and her being the submissive. Somehow, in all of their lives, he felt like she was dominating him in a different way, though. She controlled his emotions, consumed his thoughts, and made him yearn for...
He gave in. He tried not to, but he did. Ignoring his inhibitions against it, he dialed Vanesssa's number. She was Elise's roommate and likely might know where he could find Elise.
...
I sat in one of the private upstairs rooms in the library. It used to be the master bedroom back when this building was used as someone's home so many long years ago. Now it was just a room, no bed to speak of. Rob outfitted it with a desk near the window and a fireplace took up space in the middle of one wall. A couple of cozy chairs and a rug and a few more homey decorations on the walls gave the room a quaint, comfortable feeling.
I sat at the desk, tapping at the keys on my laptop, writing my story.
It took me a moment to gather myself, my pleasing wits, but I did it. "No," I said, hoping to sound more sure than I felt. "I've already agreed to play and I will. You can't scare me out of it, Lucent."
"Good," he said. Reaching into his suit coat pocket, he produced a... container of dental floss.
"Um?" I said, confused.
"Get up," he said; I did, slowly. "Put your hands behind your back, clasped together like this." Shifting around, he showed me how to do it. "Kneel on the floor, too. Lift your skirt up so your knees press against the rug."
Someone knocked on the door, but I ignored them while I finished up my last line of Lucent's dialogue. This was a good part, and I liked it. For some reason, the entire scene came back to me, a thriving and vivid memory. That was when I first met Lucent, right here in the library. We weren't in this room, or at least not yet, but as the story progressed we would eventually come here. It took a little more time, but it was good time. I thought of it like stretching outwards, pushing boundaries a little, seeing what we could get away with with one another.
Another knock, but I was done writing this time and I knew I could take a little break.
"Miss Tanner?"
I blinked and peered at the closed door. Lucent? Standing quickly, I hurried over and opened the door. He stood there, smiling, apologetic.
"My apologies for intruding upon you," he said. "If you're busy I can—?"
"No, no," I said. I peeked around outside, scanning the upper halls of the library. No one was here except us. "Come," I said, grabbing Lucent's hand and tugging him in. "Come inside. We can sit here."
Lucent came, chuckling as he did. I smiled and pulled him all the way in, then tipped the door shut with my foot. We were alone now, no more need for pulling or tugging or dragging, but I kept holding his hand. I squeezed slightly, enjoying the feeling of our hands together. Lucent must have decided he liked that feeling, too, because he shifted his grip to twine our fingers together.
; "I hope I'm not bothering you," he said. "I tried to call you once I finished with Mr. Landseer."
"Oh," I said. "Um... whoops. I got excited and I must have left my phone in my car. With my purse. It's just outside," I added. "I didn't lose it or anything. Everything's fine there. I don't..."
I didn't want him to think I was careless or reckless or irresponsible. I didn't want Lucent to think that he needed to take care of me because he didn't think I could take care of myself. I did like when he offered to help me, but this was different.
"I was simply needlessly worried, that's all," he said. "I hope you don't mind that I'm here. I thought I'd wait for you outside, but then Miss Mitchell saw me. To make a long story short, she convinced me to come inside and told me where you were. I was waiting in the hall for awhile before I finally decided to knock."
I laughed. "You're funny."
"Oh?" he asked, squeezing my hand in his. He stepped around in front of me and took my other hand, too. We stood there, holding hands, him looking down at me and me looking up at him. "What exactly about me do you find entertaining, if you don't mind me inquiring?"
"I like how you're very worried about me sometimes," I said in earnest. "I like how you're worried about me, but you're also worried about worrying about me. It's endearing, I think."
"You find amusement in my concerned fretting?" he asked, attempting to maintain a mien of stoicism but giving in to a faint smirk.
"I do," I said, nodding. "Quite and rather."
"Pip-pip?" he offered.
"Cheerio!" I said. It was a silly and dumb thing that Margaret and I joked about with each other sometimes; acting at some feigned attempt at cliche English. Lucent liked to tease me about it.
Without thinking, I stepped forward on tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. I was smiling and kissing, and Lucent was kissing, then smiling. He tried to let loose my hands to wrap his arms around me, but I held him tight and wouldn't let him go.
He grinned then, pleasant and Cheshire-like. I closed my eyes and gave in to emotion and sensation. I felt freed and lifted in a lot of ways. Partly because of Lucent's presence, and partly because of my writing. I thought I had a good story, and I'd spent so much time at writing the beginning of it today. What I loved the most about it was that it was mine and Lucent's. It wasn't a story without the both of us; it was a story because of the both of us.
"Were you writing?" Lucent asked, glancing sidelong at my laptop after we broke away from our kiss.
"Yes," I said. Scrambling away from him, hurrying to the desk where I'd been writing, I flipped the laptop screen down, closing it from view. "Sorry, you can't see it. It's private."
"Private, is it?" Lucent asked. "As you wish."
And he gave up.
I scrunched my brow, staring hard at him.
"What?" he asked.
"That's it? You aren't going to try and find out?"
"You said it was private. I don't want to intrude on your privacy."
"Well..." I supposed he had a point. "That's considerate of you, but..."
Lucent lifted one brow, perplexed, then he said in a slow, confused and stilted tone, "Is there anything I can do to convince you to let me see it?"
It was barely a question, not even asked properly with the way he said it, and it made me laugh.
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at this," he said with a smile.
"No, no. It's fine. I guess it's a little confusing, huh? I... I want to tell you, but I'm afraid you'll make fun of me."
"I am positive I won't make fun of you." Lucent nodded, austere.
"What if it's dumb, though?" I asked. "What if it's silly and foolish?"
"I will support you in all of your endeavors, Miss Tanner," Lucent said. "Regardless of my personal opinion, I promise to be supportive and understanding. I would never consider you dumb, though occasionally you are silly, and without a doubt I have never found you foolish."
"That's not true," I said. "Sometimes I've done foolish things. I know I have."
"People make mistakes. It's inevitable in life. That doesn't mean that the mistakes are bad. We may refer to them as foolish if we wish, or we may consider them in an alternative light by stating that we have learned a great deal from them. I prefer the latter."
"Oh," I said. "Really?"
"Yes."
"What about...?" I stopped, not wanting to say it. If I continued with the story I was writing, I'd need to write about it eventually, but I didn't know how I was going to. It was still hard to deal with sometimes and I felt stupid for getting into a situation like that. There were other options, other choices, and, yes, Lucent had saved me from the worst of it, but what if he hadn't?
I couldn't always rely on him. I couldn't always expect him to be there for me, even if I had a lot of good reasons to know he might try to be there anyways. That was wrong, too; Lucent wouldn't just try, he would do it. He was the most stubborn and compulsive man I knew, in a heartfelt and obsessive way. Thinking of it like that made it seem terrible and bad, but I didn't think anything about Lucent was terrible or bad.
"I will always support your decisions," Lucent repeated, steady and sure.
"Can we sit?" I asked. "In front of the fireplace? On the floor like when we were here and trapped together?"
There was no snow outside, nor even the risk of it considering it was the middle of summer, but I liked the fireplace. I liked the idea of it. Sitting in front of it, cozy and nice. Even if there was no fire, that didn't mean we couldn't be cozy. Lucent and I could sit together, cuddling and wrapped up in each other's arms, while chatting or reading or just sitting there quietly.
"Of course," he said. Smiling, he gestured with a flourish towards two chairs in front of the fireplace. I followed his gesture and as I approached the hearth, Lucent lifted and shifted the chairs to the side, leaving a space for us, unobstructed.
"We're not supposed to be up here," I said, whispering.
"I gathered as much," Lucent whispered back. We sat and I immediately moved to lean into him. He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Why are we whispering, by the way?"
"Because it's fun."
"Is it?"
"Yes. Can I sit in your lap?" I asked.
"If you wish."
I did. I wished. I crawled across him and onto him, facing him. I sat in his lap while wrapping my legs around his waist, looking up at him. Lucent put his hands on my hips, holding me in place.
"You're wearing a skirt, Miss Tanner," Lucent said.
I shifted forward, grinding my crotch against the front of his shirt and his stomach. "You didn't whisper."
Lucent shrugged, then kissed the tip of my nose.
"Did you know," I said, beginning my question, "I feel very comfortable with you?"
"I hoped as much," he said. "I enjoy hearing you say it, though."
"I didn't always."
"I know. I've given you plenty of reason not to feel that way, too. I feel honored and cherish every day that you allow me this chance, Miss Tanner."
I blushed and looked away from him. "I'm writing a story about us," I mumbled under my breath. "I'm not writing that one I said earlier, about the squirting or anything. Lucent, I know this is dumb, but I wanted to write our story. About us in the library, and how it all happened. Kind of like a memoir, but I want it to be fiction, too. I mean, I'll write it that way, sort of. It's a strange idea. I don't know if it's good or not. I've been writing it all day, though. I have a lot done."
"I think it's a nice idea," Lucent said. Moving his hands a little lower, from my waist to the top of my rear, he pulled me close to him. "What do you like about the story? Why do you like it?"
"I don't know," I said. I did know, I just didn't know if I wanted to say it out loud.
Lucent smiled and waited. He was always so patient. If it was possible for anyone in the world to wait forever, I thought Lucent could. I hoped he never had to, though.
"I really liked it," I said, shy an
d quiet. "I miss it a little bit in a way. It was just us, you know? It was kind of strange, but exciting, and an adventure. That will never happen to us again, but it's probably one of the most memorable moments in my life. I shared it with you, too. Lucent, is it memorable to you?"
Lucent leaned in close until his nose touched mine. I could see his lips move, feel his words kissing against my lips as he spoke. "I think about it every day. I believe the days we spent trapped here were the best moments of my life up until then. Now, every day after that, every day I'm able to spend with you, is wonderful. I thought I was making a grave mistake back then, but now I don't know if I know anything. I'm extremely happy with you, Elise."
I pressed my nose against his, nuzzling him. "You called me Elise," I said.
"I did."
"Is it because you love me and want to say it in a special way, or are you trying to convince me to prepare for some of your BDSM things?" I stuck my tongue out at him, and then for good measure I licked the tip of his nose.
"I'm certain I could be convinced of both if you keep that up," Lucent said, voice tingling with a playful growl. "You realize you can't scream in here, correct? There are certain rules and etiquette that must be adhered to in a library."
"Is that how you're going to spin it?" I asked. "You can do whatever you like to me and I can't protest because if I'm too loud I'll be going against the library rules? I'm not sure if your logic is sound."
"Perhaps not," Lucent agreed. "I could always gag you, too."
"With what?"
"Please be aware that I'm not saying I would do this," Lucent said; a preface. "If I were to, though, I would—" His fingers crawled downwards, finding the hem of my skirt and peeling it away. "—first remove your pantyhose." He pushed the waistband of my skirt up so he could dip his fingertips into the waist of my pantyhose. "And I would bunch them up, shove them between your pretty little lips, then remove my belt and latch it in place to make sure my gag stayed secure."
My eyes widened, disbelieving. "I don't think you'd do it."
"Oh? Why not?"
"You'd have to show me," I said. "I just don't think you'd do it, but if you would, you'd have to show me before I believed it."
His Absolute Assignment - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#1) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) Page 6