"Will you tell me now?" I asked. "About everything?"
"Yes," he said, strangled. "Shall we move to somewhere more suitable?"
I nodded. We both stared at the floor, our eyes resting on the little black box. With the heel of his foot, Lucent kicked it aside. Then, defensive, he picked me up and cradled me in his arms. I held onto his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, letting him be my perfect knight. Without saying anything, Lucent carried me to the children's section and the bean bags. We walked through the quiet, closed library, past shelves full of books, through memories and ideas. I could practically hear them bubbling forth, whispering to me. The sound of Lucent's footsteps sounded just like a story to me.
He put me into my own bean bag and then went to get one for himself. I grabbed his leg before he left me and tugged until he relented and moved into mine. We sat there, too tight and confined, until I crawled into his lap. He laughed at me, but put his arms around me and held me nonetheless; a glimpse of joy in the midst of conflict.
"Alright," I said, nuzzling against this neck. "The tunnel first."
"I didn't personally build it," he said. "I oversaw the construction of it and made certain that every task was performed with utmost secrecy."
"How do you secretly build a system of tunnels and hidden areas in a mansion like that?" I asked. "Shouldn't someone have noticed? Wouldn't there have been construction crews?"
"Very carefully," Lucent said, meaning to end it at that. My finger jabbing into his ribs made him think otherwise. "Miss Tanner, I do a lot of things you, nor anyone else, are aware of. During the construction of the guest home on Mr. Landseer's property, I offered a few modifications. I found a suitably tight-lipped construction crew, and arranged for a vacation for the Landseer staff during that particular month, and under guise of building the guest house, all other modifications were put into action at the same time. The construction crew was afforded a very generous compensation plan for their part in this and their unquestioning nature."
"How do you know they won't tell anyone?" I asked. Maybe I didn't want to ask that. Ideas of underground criminal networks, mafia dealings, and cutthroat contracts invaded my mind. Did he kill them? Or some of them?
"Do you truly want to know?" he asked.
No, I probably didn't, but I nodded anyways.
"I imported their services from a small country near Russia. They come from poor families and were easily enticed by the offer of simple labor for a large sum of cash. None of them speak English, and they live in rural areas without much technology. They are simple, honest people who no one would think to question about anything. They were not given all of the money at once, but instead offered a competitive deal involving themselves, their family, and the generation after them being set for life without having to pay for any of the common costs associated with living. This includes housing and heating, water, electricity, food, and so on. They can live quietly and without worry. They were very appreciative of the offer, I can assure you."
"Oh," I said.
Lucent paused for a moment, and I thought that was that, but then he continued. "They arrived in this country unknown. It may sound like I offered them fair compensation, but they weren't supposed to be here. I bribed a couple of members of the city council to switch construction document records in order to make it seem like a local organization was performing the labor. In addition to that, I smuggled the men in and out of the country through unscrupulous means by way of a crooked air traffic controller and a few other dealings with men who aren't beneath being bought. Nothing about what you saw today was legal, Miss Tanner. In fact, it's all very illegal, and aside from the fact that Mr. Landseer's house could face demolition if a city building inspector found out, certainly they'd go further and attempt to unearth more about the situation, which could lead back to me. As you might assume, this would have dire consequences."
"You're a criminal," I said as a point of fact. "Wow."
We sat there, silent for a moment. I thought I should be more upset at this, but I didn't know what to say.
"I apologize," he said. "Out of necessity, in order to assure Mr. Landseer's safety in case of dire emergency, I needed to make certain the building contract for those pathways and the saferoom were completely unknown to anyone as best I could."
"You aren't sorry," I said. "You'd do it again. What's the point of apologizing if you aren't sorry?"
He stared at me, brow knit. "I'm sorry that you had to find out about this," he said. "You shouldn't have. It shouldn't be your burden. It puts you in an unnecessarily risky position."
"What else have you done?" I asked.
"I've done a lot of things, Miss Tanner."
"Illegal ones, I mean. You haven't killed anyone, have you?"
Why did I even ask that? I didn't know what I'd do if he said he did. I didn't want him to, though. This reminded me of a memory from when Lucent and I were trapped in the library during a record-breaking blizzard. We'd played a game, or many games. It should have been silly and inconsequential, just some games played with a deck of cards, but the loser had to answer one of the winner's questions. I lost every single time except once, and the question I asked Lucent didn't have an answer I wanted to hear. I'd asked it anyways, knowing full well it could hurt me.
"I'd prefer not to discuss this," Lucent said. Sharp, he added, "No, I haven't killed anyone, but I would still prefer not to discuss this."
"I just want to know," I said. "I just want to know about you. I feel like..." What? What did I feel?
I felt like if we didn't know everything about each other, I'd be the one losing out. He knew me; he probably knew more about me than myself most of the time. Lucent and I met under unusual circumstances, and while I didn't hate him or regret it, he wasn't normal. He obsessed over things. He'd obsessed over me. He stalked me in a way, but not a bad one, even if that didn't make any sense. Who wouldn't like someone hiding in the shadows, wanting to protect them? I thought it was kind. I thought a lot of things about Lucent were kind, even if he wanted to hide all of it beneath a veneer of austerity.
His formality was a manifestation of his fear. That's what I believed, at least. He wouldn't admit it, but then again he wouldn't admit a lot of things.
He knew everything about me and I felt like that had power. I wanted to know more about him because I wanted power, too. I wanted to connect with him, feel the same as him, have an understanding with him. We did already—in a way, at least—but I was greedy and I wanted more. I didn't think I could ever stop, didn't know if I could ever accept less.
Maybe this situation we were dealing with right now wasn't bad. Was I naive to want to believe that? Maybe it seemed bad in a lot of ways, and what happened definitely seemed bad to me, but I wanted to hope that it wasn't.
He cleared his throat, coughing before allowing himself to speak. "Miss Tanner, everything about me is in that hard drive you brought with us when we left. All of the transactions I've made, all of the deals I have currently planned, and every one I aim to negotiate in the future. Many of these are tied to Landseer Enterprises. I'm positive that's one of the main reasons that Mr. Landseer allows himself to trust me more fully under typical circumstances. It's similar to a mutual agreement of coercion in a lot of ways. If he and his company fails, everything I have ever done will, also. And we'll both be dealing with a lot of trouble afterwards."
I ground my teeth together. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't the Lucent I knew. Everything was changing, maybe everything had already changed, but I didn't want it to. I refused to allow it.
"Shut up," I said, but I was pissed and I wanted to say more. "Shut up!" I screamed it at him at the top of my lungs. I slapped him. I wanted to bite him. His eyes widened in surprise and I shoved my face against his, glaring into his eyes.
"Don't you ever say that again, Lucent," I said. "Never. I won't allow it, do you understand? Asher is your friend. It's not coercion or blackmail or necessity or whatever you think it is.
It's because you're friends. He's your friend and you are his. People who have mutual agreements or whatever you want to call it don't have fun together. They don't spend time just talking to one another. They don't invite each other to dinner or to see movies. They just don't."
His lips twitched. My eyes began to water. I wanted to cry for him, because I didn't think he could cry on his own.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You're right. I have a difficult time accepting people."
"Asher won't hurt you," I said. "He wouldn't. You need to apologize to him when you see him next, alright?"
Lucent smiled softly and nodded.
"Maybe I should spank you," I added. "I'm not very good at it, but maybe I should." I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know how to show him that what he wanted to delude himself into thinking was wrong. I wanted closeness and intimacy again, too. I wanted us to be together no matter what, and maybe he was always the one to playfully spank me and tease me about punishment, but I could do it to him if I needed to, too.
"Thank you," he said. Pressing me tight against him, embracing me, he kissed me.
We were so near, we barely moved before our lips pressed together, and yet it felt like the world shifted beneath me. My hand rested on his chest and I felt Lucent's heartbeat beneath my palm. Our lips teased and caressed against each other, soft and sweet. I saw a tear on Lucent's cheek, but I didn't think it was his. It must be mine. I didn't know, though. I didn't want to know.
I closed my eyes and kissed him and settled against him, relaxing. A whisper of stories and love and the library surrounded us, covering us like a blanket. I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted to lay there.
...
I fell asleep with my head nestled in the nook between Lucent's shoulder and his neck. I was tired, too tired. Too much had happened today, too much fatigue. Exercising was nothing compared to the exhaustion floundering through my body. I could see why Lucent liked to work out if he'd needed to deal with situations like this before. I didn't know if he had, but maybe his exercise was in preparation for it, just in case. I didn't know if anyone could actually prepare for what we'd gone through, though. It seemed altogether too extraordinary.
My eyes fluttered open and I nearly closed them again, preferring to lose myself in my dreams, but I heard Lucent's voice nearby, speaking to someone. I panicked and sat up, thinking we'd been found. But, no. Lucent paced nearby, holding his cellphone to his ear, speaking into it. It took me a moment, but after awhile I realized he must be talking to Asher.
Was that good or bad? I really had no idea. This entire night had come as something of a surprise. Perhaps that was the understatement of the year, though.
Lucent was a criminal, technically speaking. Perhaps he didn't do anything mean, but there were plenty of illegal things that weren't necessarily mean. That didn't mean they weren't dangerous. That didn't mean laws existed for no reason.
I worried. I worried because I didn't know what else he'd done. I didn't know if he'd tell me. It was all right there, though, wasn't it? Everything about Lucent, maybe his entire life, his history, his complete personality, it all existed on the small rectangular box I'd stolen away from Asher and Jessika's house. Why would someone want to steal that? What did the arsonist thief plan to do with it?
How did he even know it was there?
I supposed he could have planned to do a lot of things with it. If he knew what it was, he could blackmail Asher and Lucent. A billionaire CEO kind of had a lot of money, so extortion made sense, I guessed. Or worse. What if the man didn't care about money and just wanted to ruin Asher and Lucent's lives? Was that worse? Both scenarios sounded terrible to me.
I couldn't even imagine someone doing that. My life involved nothing even remotely comparable to this situation. If someone wanted to blackmail me, what would they use? Honestly, I might be unblackmailable. I wrote kinky sex stories about myself and Lucent, then let anyone in the world read them, so what else in my life could someone go after? They could ruin my credit, or pop the tires of my car. Neither seemed quite as horrifying as Lucent's potential situation, not by a long shot.
Lucent hung up the phone and paced through the library. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He glanced over, saw me awake, and smiled. Not a happy smile, but a weary, tired one.
"Is everything alright?" I asked.
"Hopefully," he said. "Miss Tanner, we might not have to worry about any of this. It's possible everything that happened was by random coincidence. I have my doubts, but the possibility exists."
"Does it have anything to do with what happened before?" I asked. "With Jessika's office?" Just a guess, some hunch created by instinct, but I thought I was right.
"It could," he said. "It's impossible to tell. Mr. and Mrs. Landseer are safe, though. The Landseer estate went through minimal damage, save for what we saw. The firemen put out the fire in a timely manner, and everything should be fine there. Most of the data storage equipment is replaceable, and there are backups of the information in other places. Besides that one hard drive, everyone else was redundant information kept as a safety net. There are multiple other data storage centers for Landseer Enterprises, so nothing was actually lost except money for replacement equipment and repairs. Unfortunately that's the least of our worries, though."
"You don't know who is doing this," I said. "They could do it again."
He nodded. "Yes. Or they could plan on doing worse." He took a deep breath as if he had something more to say. He breathed out and said nothing.
"Will you come lay next to me again?" I asked.
He walked towards me, stopping by my feet near the edge of the bean bag chair. Slowly, he turned around and lowered himself into the seat with me. A careful, measured descent, but the last few inches he bridged with a drop. He rested next to me, breathing in and out deeply, the crunch of the bean bag making the only sound between us.
"Do you hate me?" he asked after awhile.
"No," I said. I didn't think I could ever hate him.
"Maybe you should. You make this so difficult for me."
I ignored him. Or I tried to, but it didn't work. Grunting, I shuffled closer to him and stared at him.
"I don't want you to hate me," he added. "It might be safer, though."
"You think a whole lot," I said.
He laughed at that. "Yes, perhaps."
"The thing is," I said, "I think sometimes there's a problem with how everyone sees things."
"Oh?" he asked, tilting his head towards me.
"Yes. Because you hear about good things and bad things, you know? But I don't know if everything that's good is actually good, or everything that's bad is actually bad. What if there's more?"
"More what?"
"More everything," I said. "I don't know what exactly, but just more. More of all of it. What if you think you love someone so much, but then you love them more the next day? Can you love someone so much you hate them? If you're jealous, I mean? Maybe the first one is a good love and the second is a bad love, but I don't know if love is good or bad, it's just a thing."
"You have a way with words, Miss Tanner," Lucent said with a lopsided smirk. "Love is just a thing."
"Whatever. It is, you know? It's a powerful emotion, but it doesn't have to be good or bad, it can just be itself. Love is allowed to be love, because that's what it is. You can't make love into something else. It either exists or it doesn't. And that's what you are, too. And what I am. What everyone is."
"I see," Lucent said.
"You know, I stole something once?" I said, biting my lip. "So we're both the same, I bet. When I went grocery shopping once, I was at one of those self-checkouts, and the woman before me forgot to get her change. It was a dollar and thirty-eight cents. I didn't realize it for a second, but then I saw it and I saw her walking away and I could have said something, but I didn't and then I used it for my own groceries instead. I stole her money, just like that."
"That's horrible," Lucent sai
d, hiding a smile.
"I felt really bad, though. I went back to the store after I got home and I tried to give the customer service woman the money back. I got change just to do it, but she said she couldn't take it. They had a policy or something. What kind of policy is that? She just let me tell her that I stole someone's money and she didn't do anything about it. I still feel a little bad. Sometimes I leave money in the change slot when I get groceries, just in case, to try and make up for it."
Lucent opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him. I clapped my palm over his lips.
"I know that doesn't make sense, and I've thought about that, too, because what if the person behind me thinks they're stealing from me? But I don't care. I like to think maybe they really need the money and I'll be helping them out and it will be nice, so I don't want to hear your logic or any of that, alright?"
Lucent nodded beneath my hand.
"Alright," I said, moving my hand away.
"You have a very interesting perspective on life," Lucent said.
I nodded. "I think everything is like that. Maybe we do things we regret, but then maybe we do things to try and make up for it. Maybe life doesn't work like that, but I think it could. I don't know why it can't. Not always, but just sometimes, you know? It could work, if... if we wanted it to, maybe it could."
We lay there, cuddling. I closed my eyes, thinking to myself. The library was dark, all except the lights near the backdoor. Maybe I should turn those off? We should go get the box, too. If it contained everything Lucent said, I didn't think we should just leave it right there on the floor. That seemed reckless. Maybe sometimes we were both a little reckless in our own ways. Who knew? I sure didn't.
"Is everything going to be fine?" I asked, barely more than a whisper.
"Yes," Lucent said. "We'll learn more in the morning, but I believe everything should be fine."
"Good," I said, kissing him softly on the cheek. "Let's go to sleep, then."
His Absolute Assignment - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#1) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) Page 14