She looked up at me with a question in her eyes. One I wasn’t ready to answer right now. So I picked her up and carried her to my room, kissing her as I walked and ending the conversation. But later that night, as I lay in bed after making love to her, I couldn’t help the fearful thoughts that crept into my mind.
With everything going so well between us, why am I keeping a secret from the woman I now realize I love?
chapter 13
aubrey
Last night was so amazing with Luka that it left me walking around with a shit-eating grin on my face all day. I totally understood why he’d felt the need to put walls up around his heart after what his slutty ex had done to him, but it looked like he was finally ready to let me past his guard and into his heart and not just his bed. And I wanted in there so badly. It was why I put up with all his crazy rules and possessiveness. It had always been my hope that they were signs of how much he really cared for me, and if I was patient enough, he would eventually realize that this thing between us was so much more than physical. He was my one. It only made sense that I’d be his too.
Thank God I didn’t have any tests or anything huge going on in any of my classes today. It would really suck if I ruined all the progress I’d made this year by blowing it now because I was distracted. I’d had some major concerns about having Luka tutor me, but sticking with him was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Now, I was pulling a 4.0 and in a relationship that had gone well past my usual expiration date.
I wanted to do something special for him tonight, so I ran to the grocery store after my last class and grabbed stuff to make penne with vodka sauce and grilled chicken for dinner. It wasn’t a super fancy dinner, but he needed the carbs for tomorrow’s game and would appreciate the home-cooked meal no matter what I made.
I wasn’t sure if he had everything I needed to cook tonight since we didn’t often eat in at his place, so I decided to call Lexi on my way over to Luka’s and make sure she’d be home in case I needed to borrow something. I figured my chances were pretty good since she’d seriously cut back on the Mile High Club flights she offered to help pay for school because she knew they didn’t make Drake very happy. He was more than happy to pick up any slack for her, and she’d finally set aside her pride to allow him to help her out. He was her fiancé, after all.
“Hey, what’s up?” she answered.
“You gonna be home tonight?” I asked.
“Sure am. You want to come over? Does Luka have hockey stuff to keep him busy? You know you’re always welcome,” she offered.
I did know that. Both she and Drake made sure that their relationship didn’t interfere too much in our friendship. I finally realized how tough it was to maintain that balance now that I had Luka in my life and appreciated it that much more.
“Actually, I was planning to cook for Luka tonight,” I explained. “And I may need to borrow some stuff since I’m not entirely sure what all they have in their kitchen.”
“Cooking for your man, huh?” she teased. “Things must be getting really serious for you to pull out the big guns like that. What are you gonna make?”
“Penne alla vodka,” I answered. “And yes, before you even ask, I did buy enough for your dinner too because I know how much you love it.”
“Yes! Score!” she celebrated on the other line. I could practically see her doing a fist pump at her excited tone.
“Do you mind if I bring it over to you if Jason’s not home?” I asked.
“Of course not. I’m sure you could use some alone time with Luka, especially if there’s a reason you’re making him dinner tonight,” she said, prodding for more information.
I paused for a moment, unsure of how to explain it exactly. It wasn’t often that I was at a loss for words. “I think things changed for us last night. In a good way.”
“And?” she asked.
“And I want Luka to know he can trust me with anything. That I’m here for the long haul. That I want to see where our relationship goes after we graduate,” I explained.
“Deep stuff,” she murmured.
“Well, get ready for deeper because I think I’m going to tell him that I love him,” I admitted as I parked the car. It was perfect timing because I really shouldn’t be driving while I had this serious of a conversation with Lexi, even using Bluetooth.
I heard her gasp on the other end of the line. “You haven’t told him yet?”
“Not outside of bed. I want to look him in the eyes, outside the heat of the moment, and make sure he understands how much I mean it. That it isn’t just the sex talking. I love him from the bottom of my heart, Lexi. He’s it for me,” I answered.
“Holy shit, Aubrey!” she squealed in my ear. “I’m so happy for you. You finally found your one.”
“So did you,” I gently reminded her.
“I know, but ever since we were little girls, you’ve always dreamt of meeting the man you were going to marry. And then, when you started dating in high school, you jumped from guy to guy like you were searching for him anywhere and everywhere,” she said. “I have to admit that I worried a bit that, if you didn’t meet him soon enough, you’d give up hope and settle for something else. And you aren’t the type of woman who should settle for anything else. You deserve the best.”
“Damn. Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I asked.
Lexi’s answer stunned me. “Because you never gave up hope until last year. And then I could tell you needed some time to heal. I wasn’t going to give you much more, and then you met Luka and I had a feeling I didn’t need to worry too much anymore. You lit up every time he was near.”
“It was that obvious?”
“Only to anyone who knows you as well as I do,” she reassured me.
“I love you,” I replied with tears in my eyes.
“And I love you too. I really lucked out picking you as my best friend way back when in kindergarten, huh?” she said to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, we both did,” I agreed.
“So, I will be home soon. If you need anything, just let me know. Send me a text if Jason is going to be there tonight and then Drake and I will just plan to come over. If not, I look forward to room service a la Aubrey,” she joked.
“You got it,” I answered before disconnecting the call so I could grab the bags and head upstairs.
Luka’s car was in the parking lot, so I wasn’t going to be able to surprise him with dinner, but that was okay. I was just really looking forward to tonight.
“Here. Let me get that for you,” the security guy offered as he pushed the up button for the elevator.
“Thanks,” I said, flashing him a smile.
“You’re welcome,” he replied as the doors opened and he reached inside to hit the floor number for me too. One of the benefits of having both my boyfriend and best friend living in the same great apartment building on the same floor, I guess.
I juggled the bags as I headed down the hall to his door. There was no way I was going to be able to get it on my own, so I banged on it with my elbow to get Luka’s attention.
“Open up, sweetie. I’ve got groceries and don’t have any free hands,” I yelled, hoping to make him hurry a little.
It seemed to work, too, since the door opened less than a minute later. Only it wasn’t Luka who opened it. It was a girl I’d seen a few times in the building, usually coming as I was going or vice versa. She was very pretty, with dark-blond hair, bright-blue eyes, and a tiny, compact body. Today, her hair was pulled up in a ponytail that was a little messy and she was wearing athletic shorts and a tank top that showed that she had a lot of cleavage for someone her size. I’d never actually met her, so I had no idea who she was. Maybe she and Jason have something going on?
“Hey,” I said cautiously.
“Hi,” she replied with a smile on her face.
“I’m Aubrey.”
At my words, she glanced worriedly at Luka’s door and warning bells started going off inside my head.
>
“And you are?” I asked.
“Josie,” she whispered, biting her lip.
“Okay,” I drawled out, starting to wonder what the hell was up. “Luka?” I called out, but he didn’t answer.
I started walking towards his closed door when her words hit me.
“He can’t hear you. He’s in the shower.”
And just like that, my entire world crumbled beneath me. I stomped into his room to confirm that she wasn’t just playing some game with me. The sound of the running water was another nail in the coffin. Luka had left the bathroom door open a crack, just like he always did because he hated to get too much condensation on the mirrors and didn’t think the fan worked well enough by itself. So I knew he was in there. Hell, I’d seen his truck downstairs with my own eyes not five minutes ago.
I dumped the bags on the floor of his room and walked swiftly out, not making a sound except for the whimper that escaped because I couldn’t help it. I glared at the girl who had answered the door with an accusation in my eyes as tears welled in them.
“Aubrey. Wait!” I heard her say as I stalked out the front door.
I ignored her completely as I marched to the elevator and stabbed the down button. I had nothing to say to her. There just weren’t any words for what I was feeling right now.
Then I felt her grab my arm from behind, and I swung around as I heard the ping of the elevator.
“It isn’t what you think,” she tried to explain.
“Isn’t that supposed to be Luka’s line?” I asked bitterly.
“No, really. Come back inside,” she asked while pulling on my arm.
“Not a chance in fucking hell. Here’s what I think. I don’t know you because nobody has ever introduced us. Like my boyfriend. Who you clearly know well enough to be in his apartment when I’m not there and he’s taking a shower,” I answered.
“But—” she started, and I held my hand up to signal that I needed her to shut the fuck up.
“No. I’m not done yet. I’ve also seen you in the building before. Many, many times. Always in passing, so it’s pretty damn clear that you’re only here when I’m not. And there isn’t a single explanation that I can think of right now that I want to hear. So let go of my fucking arm before I make you let go,” I growled.
She stared at me with a sad look in her eyes for a moment before dropping her hand. I turned around and kept my back to her until the elevator doors closed me inside. And then I fucking lost my shit, sobbing hysterically. I rushed out the elevator as soon as the doors opened on the ground floor and ran smack-dab into Lexi.
“What the hell, Aubrey?” she exclaimed before she got a look at my face. “Holy shit. C’mon.”
She dragged me to her car and shoved me in the passenger’s seat as my cell began to ring. I glanced down and wasn’t surprised to see that it was Luka. The temptation to answer was incredibly strong. I stuffed my fist into my mouth and bit down on my knuckles in the hopes that it would help me from picking up.
“Jesus Christ,” Lexi muttered as she grabbed my phone from my other hand. The voicemail message alert went off, quickly followed by one letting me know that I’d received a new text. “Motherfucker.”
I watched with tears rolling down my cheeks as Lexi powered my phone down and started the engine. She looked towards the building’s door and shook her head before pulling out of the parking lot. We drove around town for about an hour before she seemed to make her mind up and we headed towards her dad’s house. Lexi drove her car into the garage, something she almost never did since she preferred to park in the driveway. She pulled her phone from her pocket and punched in some numbers, staring me in the eyes while she did it.
“Hey, Dad. I wanted to let you know I’m at home with Aubrey. I’m not sure what went down with her and Luka today, but she needs somewhere safe to go. I didn’t want you to worry in case you came home tonight to find us passed out upstairs,” she explained.
I couldn’t hear her dad’s response.
“No, that’s actually perfect. We’ll be fine with the place to ourselves.” There was another moment of silence before she said anything else. “Yeah, I’ll make sure her parents know she’s okay, too. I learned my lesson when Drake and I had our fight last year. I won’t let them worry about her like you did me back then.”
I sighed deeply, relieved at the knowledge that Lexi had everything covered and I could just be.
“Love you too, Dad,” she said before ending the call.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“No,” she growled. “You don’t thank me for this. You’ve got my back and I’ve got yours. This is just us. No thanks needed. Now, let’s get you inside and you can tell me what happened.”
We made our way into the house and up to her room. I absentmindedly noticed that Lexi left all the lights off downstairs and made sure the door was locked. Her room faced the back, so if anyone drove by, it would look like nobody was home. I couldn’t help but think that she had done that in case Luka came here looking for me. I didn’t think he would, but I guess stranger things happened.
Lexi tossed me some pajamas from her dresser so I changed out of my clothes and climbed into her bed, pulling the covers over my head.
“Here. Drink this,” I heard a few minutes later. I’d tuned everything out and hadn’t even realized that Lexi had gone downstairs, but here she was now, handing me a glass of wine.
“Thanks,” I whispered before I gulped down about half the glass.
When I raised my eyes, Lexi was staring at me, sitting cross-legged on the edge of her bed, dressed in pajamas while sipping her wine. We sat in silence for a bit, long enough for me to finish mine and for Lexi to fill my glass back up.
“You ready to tell me what happened?” she asked.
“Not really, but I’ll try anyway,” I started. “I got a bit of a nasty surprise when I made it up to Luka’s apartment. Another girl answered the door. One I recognized from the building before. And when I looked for Luka, he was in the shower.”
“Maybe she was there for Jason?” Lexi said, voicing the same thing I’d first thought upon seeing Josie there.
“The thought crossed my mind too, except she’s the one who told me I’d find him in the shower. Plus, I haven’t been able to shake this feeling that he’s been hiding something from me recently. And the only times I’ve ever seen her in the building coincide with when Luka damn well knew I wouldn’t be there too,” I explained further before chugging back my second glass of wine and gesturing for her to fill it up again.
“Shit,” Lexi sighed. “That doesn’t sound very good, but there could be another explanation other than the obvious.”
I thought about it for a few more minutes. Now that I was gone and in a safe place, I could see that she was right. In fact, I highly doubted that Luka was cheating on me after what had gone down with his ex. Plus, I’d just listened to him tell his own mother that his future was with me. Luka wasn’t the kind of guy to say something like that if he didn’t mean it.
“I really don’t think he has it in him to cheat on me,” I admitted. “Even if it looked exactly like that was what was happening, I don’t think he was.”
“Then why did you run?” she asked.
“Because even if he isn’t cheating, he’s still keeping something from me and that’s not good for us as a couple.”
“I agree that it’s not good to keep secrets from your significant other, but you know that sometimes there are things you don’t really intend to hide or are too scared to share. Like, say, flying mile high club flights,” she reminded me, since she’d been hiding something from Drake that had caused their big fight last year.
“I hear what you’re saying, but this is a little different,” I countered. “Whatever he’s hiding from me involves someone else. Someone cute and female. Who he is spending time with alone on what appears to be a fairly regular basis. When he goes batshit crazy if another guy even looks at me. If our roles were reversed ri
ght now, I’d be in so much trouble with him that it wouldn’t be funny. Especially since he’s the one who asked for that rule about us not spending time alone with other people so that they won’t get the wrong idea.”
“That’s true,” Lexi admitted, knowing very well how Luka could be with me.
“So how the hell could he have thought this situation was okay?” I asked. “What the literal fuck could he possibly be thinking?”
“I don’t know. The only one who does is Luka,” Lexi answered.
“And I’ll ask him to explain this to me. Later. After I’ve pulled myself back together and am ready to hear his explanation. Because even though I don’t think he’s cheating on me physically with that girl, he trusted her with his secret when he didn’t trust me. And that hurts so damn much,” I admitted before I started to cry again.
“I’m sorry, Aubrey,” Lexi whispered into my hair as she took my wine glass and pulled the blankets up.
I powered up my phone and sent Luka a quick text. I didn’t read any of the ones he sent me and I didn’t listen to his voicemail messages. If I did, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t be able to resist calling him right now. And I wasn’t ready to talk yet. I didn’t want to lash out at him in anger, but I was so fucking mad right now. Deep inside, I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that he was cheating on me and that there was an explanation of some kind. But it was pretty damn clear something was going on in his life and had been for a while. Something he had chosen to not share with me and instead had gone to someone else for help. I needed just a little bit of time to wrap my head around that before I would be ready to talk.
“Me too, Lexi. Me too,” I sighed back before closing my eyes tight in an attempt to shut out the whole world. I didn’t want to face this problem tonight. There would be plenty of time for that tomorrow.
chapter 14
Outside the Box Page 13