As he makes to leave, I say angrily, “Maybe that’s my plan all along.”
He turns and I say bitterly, “You see, Sebastian, you think I want this business to survive. You think I want to make a go of it and provide a comfortable living for my family. Well, newsflash, I don’t. You see, I owe you all nothing. If I owe anyone anything it’s me, Angel. No, my decision was based on one thing only - closure. If Tobias whatshisname wants to buy me out, then the only consideration is the price. Then I can take his tainted money and break any ties I have with you all forever. No, my shares are for sale and I don’t care who buys them. So, run along and stew on that because as far as I’m concerned there is no fight left in me - I don’t care anymore.”
The door slamming is all the answer I get and I sink down onto the seat opposite the one my father used to own. As I stare at his hated pompous face staring at me from the painting on the wall, I smirk at it. “Revenge is sweet daddy dearest, and I bet you never saw this one coming. How does it feel knowing your beloved company that you worked so hard to build, is about to be torn down by the disappointment you trusted it to? Rest in peace you miserable bastard because I’m about to walk away from the lot of you.”
13
Sebastian
I am furious. So furious I need to get the hell out of here before I do something I’ll regret. I’m not sure what happened to her over the last five years but she’s returned a very different person than the one who left.
Dora looks at me with concern as I pass but I don’t say anything. I can’t even speak because suddenly shits got real—for all of us. I never thought Angelica would be so bitter and twisted as to jeopardize everything in this flippant way. She obviously doesn’t have a clue about what’s at stake and I should make every effort to enlighten her but I can’t. It hurts so much to look at her with the pain in her eyes reflected back at me, knowing I’m the person responsible for putting it there.
As I slam the door to my office shut, I pace the floor and wrestle with my guilty conscience. I had to do what I did - for my father. It was Hobson’s choice, and I did what was best at the time.
Moving across to the panoramic window, I look down on the city below. How I envy the people that walk the streets. I hope they are happy because nobody deserves to feel the pain I’ve lived with ever since that day and now I don’t have a clue how to dig myself out of the huge hole I’m in.
There’s a gentle tap at the door and I shout, “I don’t want to be disturbed.”
It annoys me even further when the door opens slowly and my assistant’s voice says shakily, “Um…sorry, sir but your fiancée’s here and is demanding to see you.”
I feel the irritation crawl over me as I snap, “Fine, send her in.”
Great, just what I need.
The door opens and Anastasia sweeps into the room, dressed completely in black, looking like the black widow. Her face is pale, and she has perfected the look of a woman shrouded in grief. However, I know it’s just a show and feel irritated that she’s even here, so I snap, “I don’t have time for this.”
I don’t miss the hurt flare in her eyes and yet I don’t care. In my mind she’s the huge wedge between me and the woman I love and I’ve run out of patience with this whole sorry charade.
“Someone’s tetchy this morning.”
Her voice is laced with derision and I say wearily, “What do you want, Anastasia?”
She flings her purse onto the desk and unwraps her coat, letting it fall from her shoulder. As it drops to the ground, I blink in disbelief as she stands before me in sheer black underwear, with stockings and suspenders. She licks her lips and stands suggestively before me and says in a low voice, “I won’t wait anymore, Sebastian. We’re engaged to be married and yet you won’t come close. I’ve been patient for five long years because you told me you didn’t believe in sex before marriage. Why would you tell me such an obvious lie unless it was because you respect me too much to taint the goods before the big day?”
I stare at her in disbelief as she purrs, “I mean, I know you’re a gentleman, but a lady has needs. Well, I’m here to tell you there’s no need to be the gentleman. I want you and as it happens, I don’t want to wait anymore. Daddy’s dead so you don’t have to fear pistols at dawn. I’m willing and… well, you’ve been patient for far too long, so what’s stopping us?”
I take a step back because I didn’t expect this. It’s true I have kept her at arm’s length for the past five years and not because of the reasons she thinks. I can’t stand her and never have done. The thought of touching her makes my skin crawl, and she’s so wrapped up in her own importance she can’t see that. We have never even kissed which makes me wonder why she keeps on playing this obvious game of charades. I act as her partner on social occasions and play the part of the perfect fiancé in public but keep the hell away from her in private. Is she really that obtuse to think we have a relationship?
Shaking my head, I say as gently as possible, “Put the coat back on, Anastasia, this isn’t going to happen.”
Her eyes flash and she advances toward me, swaying her hips and pouting suggestively as she drawls, “Now, come on, honey, I’ve heard the rumors.”
“What rumors?”
“The ones that whisper you’re not averse to the kinky stuff. I mean, it’s common knowledge you like to spend your time at a certain um… club in town. I know you go there to satisfy your carnal urges and that’s fine by me. I know a man has... needs and so do I. I’m here to tell you it’s ok to act on them because I’m here and willing to satisfy yours. We don’t have to wait until we’re married you know, I’m not the princess you think I am.”
I stare at her open mouthed as she reaches me and runs her fingers through my hair, pressing her almost naked body to mine and whispering, “Kiss me, Sebastian. I know you’ve been longing to, well, this is your chance. I want you and what better time than this. We will be a proper couple and I’m not afraid who knows. It’s time to move our relationship on, so kiss me my darling and don’t hold back.”
She presses her lips to mine and as I feel her soft lips go where they are most unwelcome, I pull back sharply and say roughly, “No.”
“NO!” I see the fury in her eyes as I say harshly, “It’s not gonna happen, so get your coat on and leave before I say something both of us will regret.”
I see the panic enter her eyes as she whispers, “Please, Sebastian, I need you. I just want us to be a proper couple, this isn’t right. This distance between us, I need more, I can handle it, I’m not the innocent virgin you think I am.”
Her hand flies to her mouth as if to contain the words she just said and I laugh. “Not a virgin, I wonder what your dear daddy would make of that.”
She steps back and says quickly, “It was only the once, years before we met, of course, I don’t sleep around, I would never do that to you.”
I feel the exasperation bubbling up inside, along with a sudden feeling of pity. This isn’t right, it never was and so I say a little kindlier, “Put your coat back on and take a seat.”
Noting the softer tone to my voice, she moves away and retrieves her coat before wrapping it around her. Then she takes a seat on the couch in my office and I sit beside her and say softly, “We both know this isn’t normal, don’t we?”
Her eyes widen and she says fearfully, “I’m sorry, Sebastian, I should never have come here like this. I just wanted…you.”
The tears splash onto her cheeks and I feel like a complete and utter bastard as I say something I should have said from the beginning. “The engagement is off, Anastasia, it should never have been on in the first place.”
For a moment she stares at me in disbelief and then her voice quivers, “Why?”
I can’t believe she’s even asking but now I need to spell it out for her no matter how cruel my words sound. “Because your daddy made it impossible for me not to agree to it.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes, I only agreed to marry you be
cause he gave me no other choice. Now he’s gone, I need to set you free to find a man who will love you as you always deserved to be loved.”
Shaking her head, she says slowly, “But I thought…”
“That this was real? I never once gave you that impression. If anything, I hoped that my distance would make you call it off, but you never did, why is that, why did you go ahead with something that was so wrong from the start?”
Her lips trembles and she says with a break in her voice, “Because I wanted you, Sebastian, not anyone else. It was always you.”
“But why, I never gave you any cause to think I was interested, why me?”
I see the shock wearing off as her eyes flash and she says bitterly, “Because you are the best. The best looking and the one all the girls want. You always were. They all wanted you; surely you knew that. No other guy could compare and I want the best in life and that was you. But you never saw me. You only saw one girl—her. Is this what this is, Angelica’s back and now you want to clear the way for getting back with her?”
I look down and she snarls, “I figured as much. You know, you may be some smart assed businessman now Sebastian but you’re still that kid who followed her around like a puppy dog. Well, let me tell you, she’s not interested. Why do you think she left and never came back? Because she doesn’t care. Knowing my sister, she’s not been as devoted in her time away. I’m guessing there have been many men and none of them you. So, get over it and move on with someone who deserves your attention because that cold bitch will leave you as soon as she’s finished playing the big shot and won’t look back.”
Her voice changes and she says softly, “Give her up and marry me, Sebastian, I’ll make you happy; happier than she ever will.”
Standing up, I cross the room to get some distance between us and just say sharply, “Get out and consider this engagement terminated. I’ll post an announcement in the press and say it was you who ended it if that makes you feel any better.”
I feel her fury from here as she snarls, “I won’t let you make a fool of me, no, Sebastian, this marriage stands and you will go through with it, because if you don’t, as soon as this company is mine, I will make it my life’s work to destroy you and leave you with nothing.”
She stands and smoothes down her coat before saying in a hard voice, “It’s your choice, darling. Marry me and have it all, or pine after my sister and lose everything. You have until tomorrow to make your decision. Then we will get this wedding moving and begin our married life together. I know you’ll make the right decision, you’re too smart to risk everything your daddy worked for. Don’t disappoint him, darling, you know this is for the best, it always was.”
I say nothing as she leaves my office, just grateful she’s gone. Catching sight of the photograph that sits proudly on my desk, I feel my chest tighten as I see the only picture I have of my father with me. I did this all for him and it still wasn’t enough. Maybe I should just walk away, it’s tempting because suddenly, all the fight in me has gone. Not because of Anastasia, no, it’s because the thought of Angelica never wanting me is too much to face. It would break the one remaining part of my heart that still has hope and I would never recover.
14
Angel
As soon as Sebastian left, I sighed with relief. I never expected that—him. Seeing him here in my father’s office threw me. Then when he kissed me, I forgot every bad thing that happened and lost myself in my own desire. Now he’s gone, I’m back to reality with a bump and as I take my seat of power, I realize just what a hole I’ve jumped into.
Daddy’s desk is clear and well organized. The polished wood reflects my own miserable face and the only personal items on the desk are his ink pen that he used and a photograph of his family when we were young. As I look at the silver-framed picture of a lie, I feel huge regret for something I never really had - a loving family.
We were just like everything around me—his possessions. As we stare at the camera, I remember the day this was taken. Every year we lined up for the official family photograph to mark the passing of time. I must have been seventeen when this one was taken. Even then I knew my life was built on liquid mud. It was difficult to keep a balance in an ever-changing landscape. Daddy’s moods were legendary and both my sister and I were often on the receiving end of his acid tongue.
As I stare at my sister, I feel my blood boil. We never got along, which is no surprise because we are poles apart. She’s just like my mother, shallow, vindictive and vain. All they care about are appearances and looking good among their friends. Content with reaping the rewards of the profits from this company and spending them without a care. Anastasia always ran with the coolest crowd and demanded the most. She wanted the biggest parties and the best of everything. I did not. I just wanted him and for many years I had just that. We were happy, or so I thought, until he turned out to be just like the rest of them and drove a jagged dagger into my heart that he never retrieved. Now I am left a broken woman as I battle to re-build the pieces of my shattered dreams.
My gaze lingers on my father and I feel something like remorse kicking in. I never knew him—not really. He scared me and yet as I see his face staring out of the picture, something hits me about the look in his eyes. He looks lost and kind of sad and for once it strikes me that I never got to know the man behind the overbearing personality. Are we alike? Anastasia is the spitting image of my mom in looks and personality. Maybe I’m more like my father than I thought, which is why he entrusted his life’s work to me. Am I as ruthless as him? Am I up to this job and can I really rise to the challenge because he obviously thinks I can?
For the first time since I returned, I think differently.
A tentative knock on the door brings me back to the present and Dora heads in looking worried. “I’m sorry to intrude Miss. Johnson but I wondered if you would like me to fetch you anything. A coffee, some refreshments, information? You name it, I’m here to oblige.”
I feel bad as she looks at me hopefully and I say warmly. “Come in Dora and take a seat.”
Once she is settled, I smile. “Listen, this is all new to me and I’ve never had staff before, let alone as many as this. I’ll need your support over the next few months and any help would be greatly appreciated. First though, tell me, are you married?”
She looks surprised. “No, unless you count my job, some say I’m married to that.”
Her answer surprises me and I see a gentle flush break out across her face as I study her. Changing tack, I shrug. “It’s overrated if you ask me. I’m in agreement, a job will never break your heart, unlike a man.”
She nods and I see the concern in her eyes as I laugh softly. “Once bitten, twice shy as they say, so we are on the same page. Maybe we will both stay married to this job and see if we can survive in a man’s world. Anyway, in answer to your question, a coffee would be good but I’ll make it.”
She makes to object and I hold up my hand. “Point me in the right direction and while I’m gone, can you please gather together all the staff files for starters? I want to know who works here and get a picture of the people behind the company before I take a look at that company itself. I want names, job descriptions and how long they’ve been here. I want your honest opinion on the people who work here and then, when we’re done, I want you to call a staff meeting.”
Standing up, I head toward the door and say brightly, “Right, where’s the kitchen?”
“Um... two doors down to your right. There’s a small kitchen that we use to make the drinks on this floor. Every floor has one.”
“Great, one last question, how do you take yours?”
“Mine?”
“Your coffee.”
She looks a little uncomfortable and I’m guessing my father never made one for her and she says softly, “Black, no sugar.”
Nodding, I head outside and take a deep breath. I can do this, if I’m about to tear down this company then I need to know what I’m destroying in the
process.
It doesn’t take long to find the kitchen and I smile as I see everything is clean and tidy. It appears that the staff are conscientious and I’m pleased to see the cupboard is well stocked and there are even some biscuits.
Grabbing a packet, I make the coffees and head outside. However, almost as soon as I’m one foot out the door, I almost drop the mugs I’m carrying when I run into the last person I expected to see—Anastasia.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
She laughs and points to the mugs I’m carrying. “Interesting. It would appear old habits die hard and you can’t stop being the good little waitress you are. What’s the matter sis, out of your depth and returning to the only thing you’re good at.”
“At least I’m good at something, let me see, what exactly are you good at dear sister, I never did find out?”
She smirks and to my horror, unfastens her coat revealing some kind of whore’s dream wardrobe and she laughs softly, “Looking after my man. You know, Sebastian thinks I’m very good at something as it happens, pleasing him. Yes, he relies on my visits to keep him going through the tedious grind this job brings. So, you see my dearest Angelica, while you were away the cat very much played and found a much more exciting proposition in me.”
Once again, the pain slices my heart into little pieces but I don’t give her the satisfaction of seeing it. Instead, I laugh softly, “Goodness, this gives a whole new meaning to a quickie. He only left my office less than half an hour ago, either he’s lacking stamina, or you’re just not good enough to keep him interested. Anyway, some of us have actual work to do so you can see yourself out.”
I walk past her and then add, “Oh, and just so you know, for future reference, you are not welcome here. If I see you, I’ll have you thrown out. Maybe that will be my first instruction to my staff, keep the trash outside on the sidewalk and don’t let it blow inside. You know, Anastasia, you always were easily pleased.”
Breaking Beauty: A Second Chance Romance Page 7