Jake knew his friends well, Finn thought. He nodded to let Jake know he’d been on the money with his guess.
Pushing himself away from the wall, Jake pointed down the hall past the stairs and toward the back of the house. “Let me show you where you’ll be staying.”
Finn set the tea mug down and followed Jake. The whole house was decorated in anime art which fascinated Finn. Jake didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d like such whimsical art, but he seemed almost obsessed with it based on the number of pieces he had on his walls.
Jake pointed to a set of double doors at the end of the hallway. “That’s the master suite.” He turned slightly and pointed to a door not far from the stairs. “That’s my office.” He pointed to another door near the office. “That’s off limits.”
Mouth dry, Finn swallowed hard. He got the sense that whatever lay beyond the off limits door had everything to do with his host’s suddenly rigid posture and tense jawline.
“That’s your room.” Jake indicated a fourth door across from the office. “It faces the back of the building and overlooks the garden. My father planted the garden and this was his suite.”
Finn shot Jake a curious glance. “Is your father dead?”
Jake nodded, a hint of sadness in his expression. “He died several years ago of cancer. We had this room built for him when he was diagnosed and I came home to care for him.”
He opened the door and gestured for Finn to enter. The lights came on and Finn saw that the bedroom was more like an efficiency apartment. One big room with a tiny kitchen area at one end. At the other end was a walk in closet and the door to the bathroom. The kitchen had a two burner stove, a small sink, a microwave and a refrigerator. The main part of the room held a double bed, a futon sofa, a small desk with a chair and a laptop, and built in cabinets and shelves that held a flat screen television, a small stereo and lots of mystery novels. All the cupboards, desk, built in cabinets and shelves were in the same pale wood as the rest of the house.
“You’re welcome to make use of my kitchen or you can keep to yourself and use this one. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m downstairs more than I’m up here,” Jake said in a voice devoid of emotion. “I can get you some foodstuffs so you won’t feel obligated to eat with me. Tomorrow I’ll show you around the studio and we’ll go over your duties.”
Finn nodded and set his bag on the floor beside the bed. “Thank you. I appreciate you taking me in.” He tried to keep his voice from wobbling, but he could still hear the note of uncertainty in it.
Jake smiled and Finn could see that the guy was trying to put him at ease. The smile lit up his already handsome face and Finn’s breath caught. He’d never been so instantly and strongly attracted to a man. Mild lust mixed with a lot of curiosity had been a part of his sex life before he’d been collared. Afterward, it had been all about his master and never Finn. Finn didn’t even know if he could come anymore, at least not without an order to do so.
“Ray and Gavin and I have a deal when it comes to the club. We don’t let submissives be mistreated there and we help those who have been mistreated. This is the first time I’ve taken someone in, but Ray and Gavin have before and so has our friend Nick. We want to keep our part of the leather community on the up and up.” Jake rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Your former master? He’s not from around here is he?”
Finn shook his head. “New York City.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “What are you doing here in Colorado?”
He almost didn’t want to say. He didn’t want the words to be spoken because then it would be more real and less like some kind of a dream or nightmare. But Jake stood there looking at him, expecting him to explain why he’d left New York. After a moment, Finn wrapped his arms around himself and told Jake the rest of his story.
“I told you I was in college when my family cut me off.”
Jake nodded and his expression showed that he expected Finn to explain further.
“I was at Juilliard,” he whispered, looking away from Jake’s keen eyes. “That’s why I was in New York. When Mr. Reynolds turned me out he gave me a bus ticket to Salt Lake City and some money. He knew my family was from Salt Lake City. I cashed in the ticket and Colorado was as far as the money from the ticket would take me.”
For a long moment Jake didn’t say a word. When Finn finally gathered the courage to look at the Dominant, Jake’s face was devoid of expression. His heart thumped a little harder.
“I understand your need to get as far away from Reynolds as possible. I also understand your desire not to return to your family after the way they cut you off. What I don’t understand is Juilliard.”
Finn’s teeth sank into his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He offered Jake no explanation. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what the Dominant wanted from him. He stood in silence and stared up at the first man he’d ever truly felt desire for, his mind filled with what Jake must see before him. A too thin submissive, cheeks, eyes and face hollowed with blue shadows from malnutrition, limp white hair in need of a cut, expensive leather garments that hung on his five foot nine inch frame, all wrapped up in a fantastical story that no sane man would believe and tied with a ribbon of secrets.
Jake drew a long, deep breath. “Tomorrow,” he stated firmly. “Tomorrow you’re going to explain Juilliard. Tonight, I can see you’re on overload. But if you’re going to live here and work here, I want the truth from you. All of it.”
He turned on his heel and left the room, closing the door with a firm click. Finn sank onto the side of the bed, shaking like a leaf in a high wind. Everything about Jake scared him, from his masculine beauty to his obvious dominance to the crazy attraction that had spun to life between them. He wanted Jake, but the thought of being with the Dominant frightened him. He didn’t know what Jake was into. Didn’t know how far he might go. And even worse than that, he feared that he’d become too comfortable in this wonderful place with this magical man and have it all snatched away from him. That frightened him most of all. Finding someplace he belonged and losing it.
He clutched his arms tighter around himself until he had his fear under control. After a few minutes, he went into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. He turned off the lights and slipped between the clean sheets of the bed, wearing only a Tshirt and boxer briefs.
For a long while, he lay in the darkness listening to the creaks of the wood and metal building. When he closed his eyes, he could see the perfection of Jake’s face. He wondered what the Dominant was like during a scene. He wondered how he tasted or if he even kissed submissives.
Finn’s cock stirred for the first time in months. He slipped a hand beneath the waistband of his briefs and palmed his erection. He didn’t try to rub one out. He was too tired and frightened for that, but the warmth of the hard flesh soothed him. His eyes drifted closed as he fell into a dream where amber eyes smiled at him, pleased with his submission. Three - Jake
The kettle whistled and water bubbled out of the spout. Jake turned off the burner with a flick of his wrist. His anger at himself, Ray and the situation threatened to bubble over as well. He wanted to yell at his best friend for bringing Finn to him. Why the hell would Ray fuck with him now when he’d only recently begun to feel as if he could walk back into the club and not feel like a loser? Why the hell did Ray have to bring him an obviously malnourished and abused submissive who appealed to him on every level from his looks to his demeanor to his knowledge of music? He hadn’t been able to care for a submissive who had his shit together. What made Ray think he could care for one with Finn’s issues?
A small cough sounded behind him and he looked over his shoulder to find Finn standing in the archway leading into the kitchen. His white hair hung in damp strands around his gaunt face and he wore faded jeans and a plain gray T-shirt. His clothes hung on him and Jake’s gut tightened. The kid appeared half starved.
“Hey. Grab a seat at the counter. Breakfast is almost ready,” he said gruffly.<
br />
Finn tugged up his jeans and walked over to the center island where three stools took up one side. Jake had already set two places and Finn pulled himself onto a stool in front of one of the plates. After filling two mugs with hot water, Jake left the tea to steep while he checked the oven. The timer went off and he pulled the cast iron skillet out and set it on a burner.
He grabbed the tea mugs and turned to set one in front of Finn and one in front of his own plate. The toaster oven pinged next. Within a couple of minutes he and Finn were eating hot rolls and the bacon frittata he’d made. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the submissive cleaned his plate, drank all his orange juice and finished off his lemongrass tea. At least all the food he’d made wouldn’t go to waste.
Jake nodded for Finn to take his dishes to the sink and followed with his own. “I’m going to wrap up the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You’re welcome to eat them for lunch. There’s also salad and sandwich stuff in there. Don’t wait for me if you’re hungry. I get wrapped up in work. If you’re hungry, eat.”
Stowing the leftover frittata in the big stainless steel fridge, Jake glanced back over his shoulder at Finn. “Just don’t eat all my pickles, okay? I get grumpy when I’m out of pickles.”
A smile flashed across Finn’s gaunt face. “I won’t touch them.”
Jake grunted. “No need to go overboard. You can have some. Just don’t ever eat the last one.”
Finn nodded solemnly. Jake turned to the sink and began to rinse the dishes. He handed them to Finn to put in the dishwasher.
“I can do this from now on, sir. It would free up some of your time,” Finn offered in a tentative voice. “I’m very good at keeping house.”
Jake liked how the kid offered to help even though he was unsure of himself. It was a good sign. “I’ll make you a deal. You clean up after breakfast and lunch and I’ll handle any dinner dishes.” He pulled a face. “You’ll know why I won’t ask you to deal with dinner dishes when we go downstairs.”
“I appreciate the job and a place to stay, sir. I will turn my hand to whatever you need.”
Pale gray eyes gazed up at him earnestly and Jake’s heart ached for the pain he saw deep inside the boy. He smiled at his new housemate.
“Let’s go down to the studio and I’ll show you around.”
The nod he received seemed firmer and less tentative than the one Finn had given only moments before. They went down the stairs and Jake carefully locked the door. He handed Finn a treble clef key chain with the door key hanging from it.
“This is for you. I have my own keys.” He gestured toward the entrance to the building. “I’ve got two bands coming in today. They’re both temperamental so keep this door locked. You never know what to expect from some of these guys. I prefer that they have no access to my home.”
“That’s understandable, sir.”
Jake gave Finn a brisk tour of the three studios, the big open area with couches, vending machines, a small kitchen with a microwave and sink, and a large bathroom complete with a shower. Then Jake showed Finn the closet that held the cleaning supplies.
“That kitchen and bathroom are a mess at the end of the day if we’ve been busy. You won’t have time to do the dinner dishes nor will you have the energy because this whole area and all three studios have to be spotless for the next morning’s clients. You have to be especially careful in the studios because sometimes the bands leave their equipment in there. Cleaning takes time in the studios, but it helps if you can keep this area picked up throughout the day.”
Watching Finn carefully as he looked at the cleaning materials and then at the lounge area, Jake wondered if the kid could handle the work. Lord knew it could be backbreaking some days. The spoiled rock stars who came in to record their music had no concept of cleaning up after themselves.
Jake glanced at the clock. They had a little time before the first band was due to arrive. He led the way into the largest of the studios and stopped in front of a grand piano. He pointed to the piano bench.
“Sit.”
With eyes wide with fright, Finn sat on the bench.
“Now, tell me about Juilliard. No lies. No leaving parts conveniently out. I want the whole story.”
Jake modulated his voice so a submissive would know that he would tolerate nothing less than the truth. His Dominant tones had Finn sitting upright on the bench, hands clasped together on his lap, head slightly bent in a pose someone had taught him. Jake’s gut tightened as he realized he didn’t care for the submissive unconsciously following the dictates of another Dom. He’d have to do something about that, but he figured one step at time. First, he had to find out about Finn’s past.
“I did have piano lessons as a child. I didn’t lie about that,” Finn said in a soft voice that shook with fear. “The lessons started when I was four or five. My parents caught me playing little tunes on the piano to amuse myself so they sent me to a local music teacher. I caught onto the lessons so quickly the teacher recommended that my parents send me to a school for kids with special musical talents. They called me a prodigy.”
Finn glanced up and Jake could see the thick layers of pain in his pale eyes.
“The better I got, the more often my parents trotted me out in public. If there was a competition, my parents entered me. As a child, I had no rights. I had to do what they said. But I never wanted to be different. I just wanted to be like any other kid. I didn’t want my family to treat me like a commodity, some trophy they could drag out to show off to their friends. I just wanted a normal life, but because of the music, I couldn’t have it.”
A bitterness to rival Jake’s own colored Finn’s voice and his fingers clenched tightly together, the skin turning white.
“When I was offered the chance to go to Juilliard, I grabbed it. I wanted to get away from my family for awhile, get away from how they exploited me. I just wanted to be free and play what I wanted to play, write what I wanted to write and love who I wanted to love.”
Jake sighed. The kid’s obvious yearning touched a chord inside him. Not that his family had ever exploited him but his father had clung to him and made him feel as trapped as Finn had.
“You came out when you got to New York?”
Finn nodded. “I’d had a boyfriend back in Salt Lake City but both of us were in the closet. Our parents were very religious and his would have killed him if they’d known he was gay. I loved being able to go to gay bars in New York. I finally felt free. I had only just begun to explore my submissiveness when my parents somehow discovered what I’d been up to. There was a brief phone conversation where they asked if I was gay and I told them yes. They hung up without another word.”
The submissive drew a shuddering breath and continued in a shaky voice. “The next day I was called out of class to be told that my tuition had been rescinded. Then I found out my cell phone wouldn’t work. When I got back to my apartment there was an eviction notice on the door. They’d taken everything from me and cut me out of their lives.”
For a long moment Finn didn’t speak. Then he heaved a defeated sigh. “I let Mr. Reynolds collar me because I had no choice, no money, nowhere to go. I refused to be exploited for my music any longer so I never told him I could play.”
Finn turned on the bench and placed his hands on the keys. Jake could see the tremor in his long fingers. Then Finn closed his eyes and began to play. Jake didn’t recognize the music but it had a plaintive melody that resonated within him, stirring emotions he’d thought long buried. The song soared, the chords growing in strength and vibrancy until they crashed with a dissonance that made Jake think of weeping scores of lost souls, begging to be given a second chance. And then the return of the mournful melody, bittersweet and achingly poignant…and a soft ending filled with sadness and regrets, fading away into nothing.
As the last note died away, Finn tilted his head up and Jake could see a mist of tears in his pale gray eyes. He held up his hands. The long elegant fingers still trembl
ed a little.
“I used to hate them until the day I realized it wasn’t my hands that made the music.” He tapped the side of his head. “It’s in here. I always hear it. It’s less insistent than it used to be. It’s like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a long time. I guess if I don’t ever play again and don’t ever write another note, one day it will just not be there anymore.”
Jake thought it would be a damned shame if Finn never played again. The submissive’s playing was sheer perfection. He could make a stone statue weep with a song like the one he’d just played.
“What was that piece?” Jake asked, coming over to lean against the side of the piano.
Finn’s gaze dropped to his hands, once again neatly folded in his lap. “It doesn’t have a name.”
Jake’s brows winged up. “You wrote it?”
“It’s what I was writing on the napkin in the bar last night,” Finn whispered.
Shock reverberated through Jake. The guy had sat there in a leather club and written a haunting piece of music out of thin air. Unbelievable. He stared at the bent head with the shock of white hair. Never had he met such an unusual man. For all that Finn’s talents and body had been abused and exploited in his short life, Jake sensed a tiny core of optimism still thriving inside him.
When Finn looked up and their gazes met, heat flared so obviously between them that Jake was surprised a bolt of electrical energy didn’t arc between their bodies. His cock began to thicken within the confines of his jeans. Turning away from Finn, he ran his hands over his face. He didn’t need the complication of the mutual lust that sprang up between him and Finn. He didn’t need a submissive in his life.
A rustling sound behind him caused him to look up. Finn had risen and begun to edge toward the door. “I should get to work…” His voice trailed away as his gaze met Jake’s. The submissive swallowed visibly, fear and a host of other emotions swirling in his expressive eyes.
Bitter Bonds Page 3