by Amanda Rose
"By the by, this outfit makes you look fat," Mary huffed, casually strolling away as she smiled sweetly at one of the owners behind a Glühwein booth.
Louis shook his head as he rolled his eyes. Then again, maybe she was.
"I love pretzels," Mary smiled, taking a gigantic bite from her freshly baked pretzel. Happily, she chomped on the chewy goodness, deciding that the only great thing about the holiday seasons, was the baked goods.
For a moment, Louis had to admit she almost looked like a real person. Not someone who ate kids for breakfast and occasionally polished her pitchforks.
"Want to have a bite?"
Surprised by her offer, Louis nodded. Before he could take a bite, Mary pulled the pretzel away from him.
"Don't eat it all."
"I wouldn't dare," he grinned, following the baked treat and taking one massive bite.
"Oi, you dino! That was half my pretzel!" Mary scolded, but Louis could hear the amusement colouring her voice. Maybe she wasn't that bad after all.
"Wfell fwi fwon't fware!" he laughed, spraying the wintery market with pretzel crumbs.
"Eewww, say it, don't spray it!"
Louis shrugged, surprised at how casual he was acting. If he hadn't known what a bitch Mary was, he would've been stumbling and fumbling like an idiot, trying to impress her.
But not her. She was gorgeous but in no way was he interested. At least, he was almost sure of that.
Mary grinned and quickly devoured what was left of her pretzel, ensuring Louis wouldn't eat the rest of it. He smiled, surprised at how much she could stuff in her mouth and another, dirtier image flashed through his head. Maybe he should shape up a little. Even if he wasn't interested in properly dating her, he wouldn't mind going home with her. Maybe he could kick her out of his house after a shag. That would teach her. Although he wasn't exactly sure of what it would teach her. Not to be so gorgeous? Not to hit on him with puns that made him hide his trouser area behind a Christmas tree? Not smell like vanilla and roses?
"Hey, Louis, look. They got a little stand with lead riffles in here," Mary pointed, nudging the Santa next to her.
"Can I help you?"
Mary stared at the red costume, the burlap sack, the white beard, and then the piercing blue eyes underneath the Christmas hat. Wait. Didn't Louis have dark, brown eyes?
She stared around, finding another Santa Claus a couple of metres away from her, doubled over in laughter. With her cheeks flaming red, she apologised feverishly to the random Santa she’d nudged, trying to block out the embarrassing event. Angrily, she stomped over to Louis, hitting his shoulder.
"You ass, why did you stay back?" she half-yelled, hiding herself behind him when the new Santa came over.
"Louis, my man. You not working tonight?" the new Santa asked, doing a weird hand clap thing with him.
"Nah, I took the night off. Got a..." he glanced over at Mary, not sure whether he could call this a date or not. Was it really a date if neither of the people were actually interested in going out with each other?
"Yes?" Mary pulled up her eyebrow as she noticed his discomfort. She daringly stared at Louis, wondering what he'd tell his friend.
Not exactly one to back down, Louis wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "Just on a date. With my girlfriend. Isn't that right, my love?" he mockingly said, grinning widely at the dark-haired devil.
Choking on her spit, Mary ground her teeth down, hoping her glare would send him straight to the pits of hell. She wanted to wipe his stupid smirk of his face, so bad, but here was no way to do that without embarrassing him or herself. And she wasn't one to back down from a challenge.
"Exactly," she sweetly smiled. With her arms behind her back, she quickly pulled a small silver ring from her finger and swapped it out. "In fact, Louis just proposed to me, the darling," she added, extending her arm with the ring now on her ring finger. "Isn't he sweet?"
Feeling Louis tense against her in shock, Mary grinned. Bingo.
The new Santa grabbed her hand and admired the ring. "What? Louis, you didn't tell me about her!" he exclaimed, glaring accusingly at his friend.
"Sorry, Sam. I just wanted to keep this little beauty all to myself," Louis smiled through clenched teeth. He should've known Mary would just add onto it and make it worse, instead of backing down. As much as he hated to admit it, she was quite a dreamy match made in heaven. Or in her case, a match made in hell.
Mary patted Louis on the chest, hating the fabric of his Santa costume. "Louis, darling, introduce me to your friend," she coyly smiled, batting her eyelashes at the guy with piercing blue eyes.
"Mary, this is Sam, my oldest friend. Sam, Mary. My... Fiancée," he said, hesitantly, not particularly enjoying how the word sounded.
"Sam, is it? So... Are you... Sam-ta Claus today?" Mary grinned, the pun rolling off her tongue before she could stop herself. Luckily, Sam chuckled at her joke.
Nice, Mary thought, pleased that at least one of the guys seemed to have a sense of humour.
"For you, I'll be Samta Claus. Enchanté," he charmingly smiled.
Mary blushed, surprised when Sam took her hand and pressed a chaste kiss on the back. Now that was a gentleman. Maybe she should just ditch her prince in shining armour, ahem, more like tosser in tin foil, and go out with Sam.
"It's nice to meet you, Mary. I can see why Louis has been hiding you away," he added, glaring accusingly at his best friend.
Louis glanced at Mary, wondering if she'd trade him out for his best friend like almost all the girls did. She was now slapping him playfully and laughing at his every word like it was the funniest thing she ever heard.
A hard ball formed in his stomach as he couldn't exactly blame her. Ladies always gravitated towards Sam. It was just a fact of life. Not that he had an issue with sharing. No, he and Sam were quite okay with that. But most of the time, there wasn’t much sharing involved as soon as they get their claws in his best friend.
Not that it worked. The moment they broke up with him, Sam would ditch them faster than a horse took a dump. Louis always told him that it wasn't necessary, but Sam would just shrug and say: "If she ain't right, she ain't right, man."
Every girl had done it, so it wouldn't be a surprise if Mary preferred his friend over him. To be fair, this wasn't even a proper date. She only said yes because his Nan practically made it impossible for her to say no. And then he showed up in — Louis looked at his red, baggy Santa costume — this. He couldn't blame her for not taking any of this seriously. Hell, he didn't take any of it seriously, until Sam showed up and started making googly eyes at her. If she wound up falling for his best friend, she'd be around and he'd just have to accept that because of his spiteful personality, he missed out on a shot with her.
"Louis, shall we go shoot things?"
Surprised, he snapped out of his thoughts and glanced at Mary. "What?"
She pointed at a stall further up ahead. "They got this contest where you have to shoot leads at a pipe. They seem to have some wicked prizes. Want to go?"
"Yes?" he asked, surprised that Mary seemed to be keen on going somewhere with him instead of inviting Sam along.
"Unless you're a bad shot," she teased, throwing her dark curls over her shoulder. She grinned, noticing how Sam's eyes travelled lustfully over her body. That was what she was talking about. Why didn't Louis react to this?
"Bring it on," Louis smiled, quite happy to feel her link arms with him.
"Bye Sam," she waved, pulling Louis along with her to the stall. He nodded at his best friend and ran after Mary, albeit, quite confused. Maybe he hadn't made as bad an impression as he thought he had?
CHAPTER FOUR
Fondle my mugs.
"Try again!" Mary cheered, jumping up and down as she clapped her hands. Shooting little orange pipes was her favourite thing to do at a fair. She was quite surprised they even had a little booth at a Christmas market, but then again, they also had a puppeteer, a cotton candy stan
d, and a magic show for kids. Mary wondered why she hadn't already been to the market, but then figured it was because she quite detested the whole holiday season in general. Which was one of the reasons she liked to fly out to a warmer and more exotic destination. Preferably, a place where they didn't celebrate Christmas. Or not a traditional one, at least. But this market was surprisingly nice and Louis turned out to be pretty decent company. More or less.
"Get that one!" she encouraged, pointing at one of the smaller pipes that was already missing a big chunk. One nicely aimed shot would make it jump right off.
"I'm out of leads," Louis pouted, waving at the guy running the stall. "Another round, please!"
With his gun fully loaded, he aimed at the stubborn orange plastic and fired another round of shots.
"Woooop woop, awesome!" Mary cheered when the orange pipe shot off the metal stick. Halfway through, they decided to pool their points so they could get one proper prize instead of both a handful of knick-knacks.
"That brings us up to the second shelf," Louis happily boasted, puffing up his chest. He glanced at Mary and reluctantly admitted that the blushes on her cheek definitely suited her well. It made her look more... Real. More human. He just wasn't sure if he liked that he liked it.
"Ooh, we should get that set of Star Wars mugs!" Mary grinned, pointing at a rather fancy looking collection of mug.
"Wait... You like Star Wars?" Louis asked, looking skeptically at her. Girls like her never liked Star Wars. If she did, he might've just found a gem.
"Yes. Jar Jar was my favourite character."
Louis bit back a groan and tried to push the disappointment bubbling up down. He should've guessed that a girl loving Star Wars was too good to be true.
Mary burst out in laughter. "Hahaha, man, you should've seen your face. Jar Jar Binks is not my favourite character. I hate that bouncy weirdo."
"Oh thank God," Louis sighed, holding his hand over his heart in relief. "I was afraid I'd have to secretly kill you in the back."
Mary grinned, pleased with herself. Star Wars always did the trick. And even though she had to admit that spending time with Louis wasn't too bad, she still wanted to get back at that jerk. That would serve him right for rejecting her advances, even when she threw herself at him.
"The killing doesn't sound like that much fun." Mary dramatically, and then added with a wink: "But the back, now that does."
Louis mouth fell open as he wondered if she meant what he thought she meant. But that didn't seem right. No girl would just openly admit that. Although this one did ask if she could help him get up his tree...
"Cat got your tongue?" Mary grinned, happy that her comment seemed to have its desired effect.
"Umm..." Louis stuttered, not sure how to react to such a blatant statement.
"Maybe another cat can have your tongue later. And when I say cat, I really mean pu—"
Louis choked on his spittle, effectively interrupting Mary with loud coughing. Not that he minded. He wasn't sure what he'd do if she finished that sentence. Yes, Mary was a bit of a mean girl, but she was also gorgeous. And apparently, for some reason, had set her sights on him. Why, he wasn't too sure. It could've just been a prank. Maybe Valerie set it up. It would be something that she'd do. What a twat. She was the kind of manipulative bitch that would go this far to spite him.
He gritted his teeth, suddenly convinced this was all a practical joke set up by his ex. Why else would a beautiful woman like Mary be hitting on him?
"Cut it out," he growled, his eyes darkening in anger. He slammed the gun down on the counter and turned on his heels. With long strides, he marched away from the booth as he held back the vomit threatening to shoot out.
"Louis? Ummm? Hey, where are you going? Wait up!" Mary called, grabbing her purse to run after him.
"Miss, your tickets?" the guy from the booth held up a roll of colourful tickets. Hastily, Mary grabbed the end of the roll and hurried after Louis. With a trail of pink paper tickets fluttering behind her, she ran after him. She grabbed him by his arm and forced him to a halt.
"Oi! What's going on? Where are you going?"
Frustrated, Louis snatched his arm away from her grip. "Cut it out!"
"Cut what out?"
"That act. Don't think I can't see through your little tricks!"
Mary tilted her head in confusion. He couldn't have possibly realised she just wanted to get a quick lay. And even if he did, what guy would pass that up?
"I don't think I know what you mean," she hesitantly said, quite surprised at his outburst. He didn't seem like the angry type.
"I know Valerie sent you," Louis half-yelled, glaring accusingly at her.
"Valerie?" Mary scratched her neck as she racked her brain. Did she know a Valerie?
"Don't play dumb! I know my ex sent you."
"Sent me? Nobody sent me?"
"Then why are you here?" Louis scoffed, sending daggers with his eyes in her direction.
"Let's see... You attacked me with a tree in an elevator and then I accused you of being a burglar. Mrs. Smithfield practically forced us go on a date, so, naturally, you showed up as Santa Claus. You ate half my pretzel, we got engaged, and you seem to be a decent shot. After that you stormed off and now you are blabbering about a Valerie?"
Louis carefully studied the woman in front of him, surprised when he realised he actually believed her. The storm swirling in his stomach turned into gentle snowflakes that fluttered down. And just like that, his anger melted away.
"Oh..." he muttered, his ears turning red in embarrassment.
"What did you think?"
"I don't want to say..." He muttered, quite happy that his beard was covering most of his face and she couldn't see the blush colouring his cheeks.
Mary touched his arm, much softer than before. "Tell me?"
Louis started into her eyes, suddenly noticing how vibrant they were, even in the darkness. If you didn't look carefully, you'd easily mistake them for just a regular grey. But they were so much more. They were both darker and lighter than just a boring shade of grey. Silver grey. Beautiful grey.
"I just thought..." he started, still unsure whether he'd actually tell her the truth. Telling her how freaked out and paranoid he was, was not really something he'd like to admit out loud.
"Hey, all my girl friends flip like switches. I promise you, I've dealt with much crazier," she tried to reassure him.
For another brief moment, he glanced at her. An honesty he hadn't expected swirled through her eyes and he figured, why not.
"Okay... This might sound crazy—"
"I was hoping it would," Mary mumbled under her breath, quickly muttering an apology as he glared at her.
"I thought Valerie sent you to... I don't know, hit on me and make me crazy?" he explained, staring at a small rock on the side of the road. He glanced quickly at Mary, finding a confused look on her face. "Oh god, you were hitting on me, right? Or did I get this completely wrong? Oh fu—"
"Yes, I was hitting on you," Mary quickly admitted, not sure why she did. Especially since he hadn't really reacted to any of it.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Mary narrowed her eyes, surprised at how the cocky, slightly douchey guy had suddenly turned into a rather sensitive and very human man. Not that she minded. It was quite a nice change to be in the presence of someone who dared to speak their mind.
"Why are you hitting on me?"
"Why not? You're not bad looking and I'm single," she admitted, looking him daringly in the eye. If he really wasn't interested, she'd know for sure now.
"Aha..." Louis muttered, studying the slender woman in front of him. As enjoyable as it was to have someone challenge him, he much preferred this version of Mary.
"Aha what?"
"Just aha."
Mary glared at the suddenly unresponsive man, annoyed that he seemed to be fine with her lying all her cards on the table, but hellbound on keeping his own secrets. "I told you how the cookie crumbl
es, now it's your turn."
"O...kay?"
"Are you gay?" Mary asked bluntly as she checked out the man dressed in a complete Santa costume.
Louis snorted. "Me? Gay? Hah, not at all. What gave you that idea?"
"Just wondering..."
"If I were gay, why would I be on a date with you?"
"Cause you're grandma made you?"
"Well... Yeah, but still. I wouldn't have gone if I was gay?"
Mary scratched her chin. "So you just don't find me attractive? Am I not your type? Or just not beautiful enough?" she inquired, already cringing at the prospect of getting an actual honest answer. Maybe she didn't want to know why after all. Ready to take her questions back, she opened her mouth.
"What? Oh my god, of course I find you attractive. Hell, you're gorgeous," Louis uttered surprised, not believing how this girl could actually think she was anything less than breathtaking.
"You think so?" Mary asked from under her eyelashes, her cheeks heating up from his sincerity.
"You're absolutely my type," he assured her, smiling at how human she was. "Beautiful, witty, and just a little bit mean."
"Oi!" Mary smacked his chest in mock-hurt, but the curls around her lips betrayed her amusement. "We were just having such a nice moment and you just had to ruin it, didn't you."
Louis smiled, admiring the twinkles in her grey eyes. "I don't think I ruined it."
Mary bit her lip, silently admitting that Louis maybe wasn't that bad of a guy after all. "Maybe you didn't."
Louis grinned, stepping closer to Mary. If she was saying what he thought she was saying, he was gold. Maybe this "date" would turn out better than most of his genuine ones.
As careful as he could, much more gently than he'd expected from himself, he cupped Mary's face. He swiped a thumb over her cheek, studying the silver swirling through her eyes. He waited, for her to pull away, for another snarky remark, for something. But as she sighed into his touch, he couldn't contain himself.
A stray snowflake landed on Mary's bottom lip, melting away before Louis crashed his own lips on hers.