by Shawn Lane
Dusty guessed there was no good time to find out your boyfriend was a dirty cheat.
His gaze on the entrance doors, he went to table seven and took the order from the woman and the two teenagers with her. His boss gave him a funny look, but didn’t question the switch for which Dusty was grateful. The restaurant manager wasn’t a bad sort at all. A middle-aged balding man, he usually told the staff as long as the customers were happy so was he.
“Blue Christmas” played over the speakers, which depressed Dusty all the more. He kept hoping Jordan and his man would leave before Malcolm arrived. He figured the sight of his boyfriend playing around would hurt badly.
He debated whether he ought to approach Jordan and tell him Malcolm was on his way over. Dusty guessed Jordan had no clue this was the restaurant he worked in. Not surprising, really. The man never had paid much attention to Dusty.
Dusty told himself if he were in Malcolm’s shoes he’d want to know. He just couldn’t figure out if his friend would really feel the same. Malcolm had been so excited to finally have a steady boyfriend, and he went practically over the moon when Jordan wanted him to move in.
For all Dusty knew, maybe deep down Malcolm did know, but didn’t want to know, right? He guessed there were people like that. Who could pretend.
But while he still contemplated the right thing to do as he set the meals in front of the family at table seven, Malcolm came through the double doors of the restaurant. His heart leaped into his throat and he felt a little bit light-headed. Like it was going to happen to him instead of Malcolm.
“Can-can I get you anything else?” he asked the family. Dusty barely heard one of the teenagers ask for more butter. He nodded absently and moved away from their table toward the door.
“Hey, Dusty.” Malcolm smiled.
“Hi. Um. I think there’s a table in my section for you back there.” Dustin indicated the opposite direction of Jordan.
“Okay, I’ll just—” Malcolm stared down the restaurant aisle toward the booth where Jordan and his date sat. Jordan happened to be facing their direction, so there was no way Malcolm wouldn’t recognize him. “Jordan’s here?”
“Malcolm…” Dusty put his hand out to stop him, but his friend had already started down the aisle toward Jordan’s table. He couldn’t help noticing Jordan’s hand covered the other man’s. Clearly Jordan had not yet noticed Malcolm.
Should he follow? He didn’t think his boss would thank him if Malcolm made a scene. He wasn’t sure he would, of course. Dustin swallowed, his throat feeling bone dry and his heart hammering hard in his chest it nearly stole his breath.
“Excuse me,” the lady from table seven called to him.
Dustin ignored her and moved down the aisle toward disaster. The Christmas song now playing overhead was the way-too-cheerful “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.”
It occurred to him this was sort of like having to look at an accident on the freeway, but this wasn’t a car accident. This was his best friend’s life. Malcolm. Whom he had loved forever.
“Who is this?” Malcolm’s voice went up just a bit and sounded more than a little shaky.
“Nobody,” Jordan said.
“Nobody? You were holding his hand.”
Jordan’s hard gaze went from his boyfriend to Dustin as he stood by the table. “Dustin? Is this where you work?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, so you called Malcolm and told him to come down here, didn’t you?” Jordan’s grimace had turned into a snarl.
Dustin noticed the man with him, a young Hispanic man, shifted uncomfortably in the booth. “Jordan, maybe—”
“No, he didn’t call me to tell me my boyfriend is cheating.” Malcolm closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and took a step back. “I can’t believe this.”
Dustin’s manager appeared at his elbow and said, “Folks, can you take whatever this is outside?”
Jordan tossed down his cloth napkin. “Good idea.” He slid out of the booth, but held up a hand to stop the man he was with from doing the same. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Malcolm and Jordan walked down the aisle and out the front doors. Dustin bit his lip, desperately wanting to follow them.
“Dusty,” his manager said, obviously a mind reader. He gestured to table seven. “They need you. Remember, this is your job?”
“Yes, sir. Sorry.” He felt his cheeks heat.
“It’s okay, just go help them.”
He hurried back to the table with the woman and the teenagers, his stomach twisted in knots.
* * * *
Malcolm couldn’t catch his breath. He stood outside the restaurant feeling his life crumbling around him. This couldn’t be happening. He stared at Jordan, unable to even form words.
“There’s no reason to get all dramatic about this, Malcolm,” Jordan said. His expression was calm, cool. He could have been telling Malcolm not to get upset over the weather forecast.
His throat raw, he managed to get out one word. “No?”
“Tony is just a friend.” Jordan shrugged.
“A…friend? Are you fucking him?”
Jordan glanced around the parking lot. “Keep your voice down. Not everyone needs to know our business.”
“Are you?”
“It’s just sex, querido. It has nothing to do with the way I feel about you.”
Malcolm’s eyes blurred with burning tears. He turned away, unable to meet Jordan’s dark eyes. He wished he could so easily block out the hateful words.
“Don’t make a big deal out of this,” Jordan said softly. “It just happened, you know? I met him while on a case.”
“How long has it been going on?” he whispered. He clutched his stomach. The coffee he’d drunk earlier at home turned sour and made him feel queasy.
Jordan looked away and blew out a breath. When he looked back at Malcolm his expression was only slightly more apologetic. “Four months.”
Malcolm didn’t know what he expected Jordan to say, but knew damn well four months wasn’t it. He really thought he might vomit. A tear slipped down his left cheek and all he could do was stare at the man he’d thought loved him.
Jordan stared back, silent and watchful.
“Were…are there others?” Not that it really mattered. One was enough to end it for Malcolm. But some perverse part of him had to know.
Before Jordan even answered, Malcolm knew by the way his gaze slid away from Malcolm’s. Sleazy and sneaky like a snake. God, he’d been so stupid.
“I told you, none of that matters. That’s just sex. I don’t care about them the way I do you, querido.” Jordan took a step toward him, like maybe he was going to grab him or something.
Malcolm held up his hands. “Stay away.”
His lover grimaced. “Look, I’ll end it with Tony. We’ll take a trip after the holidays, just you and me. I’ll make it all up to you.”
“You can’t.” Malcolm swallowed. His throat felt like it was coated with sawdust. “I’m not doing this, Jordan. It’s over.”
“You don’t mean that. You’re just upset, talking crazy.”
“I do mean it. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me.”
“You love me. You won’t go anywhere.” Jordan smirked triumphantly.
Malcolm shook his head and wiped at the tears settling on his cheeks. “You’re wrong.”
He wasn’t sure where he would go, how he would make it. He’d given up his boring day job when he moved in with Jordan. Selling his books definitely didn’t give him enough income to live. Not even close.
As though his lover could read his mind, he said, “You won’t leave me, Malcolm. You need me. You don’t even have a place to live without me. Now, calm down, and let me go inside and tell Tony it’s over between us, and then I will take you home.”
“No, Jordan. I’m coming to get my things and I’m leaving.”
“Your things?” Jordan snarled, turning a dark shade of red. “You have no things. Eve
rything you have is from me.”
“I had stuff I brought with me.” Malcolm backed up when Jordan took a menacing step toward him. Jordan’s fingers dug into his arm. “Ouch. Let go.”
“You little bastard,” Jordan said, yanking his arm. “You think you can just break up with me over an insignificant piece of ass! You will learn your place.” He grabbed Malcolm’s ponytail and pulled hard.
“Hey, get your hands off him,” Dustin shouted from the doorway of the restaurant. He rushed forward and shoved Jordan away. “Asshole! Who do you think you are?”
Dustin put himself between Malcolm and Jordan, anger radiated off both men.
“This doesn’t concern you, Dustin.”
“The hell it doesn’t. Stay away, detective, or your bosses are going to hear about this.”
Malcolm eyed Jordan uneasily, seeing his temples throbbing. He grabbed Dustin’s arm. “It’s okay, Dustin. Jordan and I are done. Completely.”
Jordan stared at them, fuming. He ran a hand through his midnight dark hair. “Fine. Fine. You’ll come around and beg me to take you back.”
The man walked past them, throwing Dustin an evil look, but he re-entered the restaurant. Dustin relaxed and studied Malcolm. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Malcolm glanced back at the restaurant. “I’m not getting you in trouble, am I?”
“Nah, I asked the boss if I could leave and he said yes. He’s cool. I finished my tables. I’m sorry, Malcolm.”
The lump in his throat grew, choking him with emotion. He nodded and looked away. “I…what am I going to do now, Dusty? I have no place to go.”
“Sure you do. You can come stay with me. It’s not the Ritz or anything but it’s some place, right?” Dusty smiled. “Want me to help you get your stuff from Jordan’s house?”
Malcolm hugged Dustin. “You’re the best. You know that?”
Chapter 3
The big house Jordan owned struck Dusty as pretentious. But he admitted, to himself anyway, it might be because he couldn’t stand the prick. Never could really, even before he found out he was a lying cheat.
The earth could open underneath Jordan’s feet and swallow him up and Dusty would applaud with glee. Not a nice thought, he guessed, but a sincere one.
Malcolm parked in the driveway and stared at the large mission-style house. The houses in the neighborhood glimmered with Christmas lights. Jordan’s house did not.
“He’s right, though. Most of the stuff he did pay for. He even bought me this car.”
“He doesn’t need it. Come on, let’s get your stuff.” Dusty opened the passenger door and waited for Malcolm to get out.
“What do I do about the laptop?” Malcolm asked as they approached the front door. “He bought it, but it’s got all of my books on it.”
“Take it.” He followed Malcolm inside. He’d been there a few times when Jordan hadn’t been home. He never wanted to be there when Jordan was home. He couldn’t deal with the smoochy-smoochy act Jordan and Malcolm did in front of him.
Malcolm had been mostly quiet since the confrontation outside the restaurant. Dusty wanted to ask him how he felt or what he thought or something…anything. But he didn’t. He knew Malcolm had to be crushed. He’d really loved Jordan.
His friend disappeared down the hall to the master bedroom and Dusty wondered if he should go help him, but decided Malcolm might want to be alone. He’d ask for his help if he needed it.
Dusty had never had a lover cheat on him before. Well, he’d only had one serious boyfriend anyway. They’d broken up over his lover moving out of state and Dusty not wanting to go with him. He supposed if he had really loved the guy he would have gone to Ohio with him.
He sat on a nearby bar stool and fidgeted. He wanted to be done and on their way before Jordan ever got home. He had a feeling Jordan would try to stop Malcolm from leaving again.
“You…ah, all right?”
“Yeah,” Malcolm called from the bedroom. “I’m almost done.”
Dusty blew out a breath and jumped up from the barstool. A noise from outside drew him to the window. Jordan’s sedan parked at the curb and the driver’s door slammed.
“Um, Jordan’s home.”
Malcolm came into the living room holding a duffel bag. “Okay. It’s all right, Dusty. I can handle it.” He set the duffel bag down next to the front door and then moved to where the laptop sat on the kitchen table.
Without giving it much thought, Dusty put himself between the front door and the table, waiting for Jordan’s appearance. He clenched his fists.
The door flung open, banging against the wall. Dusty flinched.
“You two are still here?” Jordan growled.
“We were just leaving.” Malcolm came to stand next to Dusty. He stuffed the laptop and cords into a laptop case.
“I didn’t give you permission to take that.”
“You don’t need it. It was a birthday present.”
Dusty was proud of Malcolm for standing up to Jordan even a little bit. He took a step forward, once more putting himself between the two men. He could see Jordan intended to argue the point. Saw the way the muscle jumped in the man’s rigid jaw.
“Just let him take it. All of his books are on it. Nothing of yours.”
Jordan’s dark gaze narrowed on Dustin. “Fine, take the damn thing. Take whatever and get the fuck out of my house.”
“I’ll-I’ll pay you for it if you want,” Malcolm offered. He had walked around both him and Jordan to go pick up the duffel bag. His skin was flushed red. “And the car.”
Dusty ached to pull his friend into his arms and tell him everything would be all right. But they were only friends. He couldn’t make the pain of Jordan’s betrayal any less.
“Whatever. You will be back, querido. You cannot make it out there by yourself. Or with him.” The man’s lips turned into a sort of Elvis snarl and for a moment Dusty thought Jordan might spit on him. “He is nothing. A waiter? Bah! We both know you need me to take care of you. But go and pretend if you must. You will be here be back before New Year’s Day begging me to take you.”
Malcolm’s shoulders sagged, but he said nothing, didn’t even turn around. He turned the knob of the front door and stepped outside.
Dustin moved to follow him, but Jordan’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Get your hand off me.”
“You haven’t won, you know.”
“I’m not trying to win,” Dusty insisted. “I’m just trying to help my friend get away from his cheating, abusive boyfriend.”
“I’ve seen the way you look at him, Dustin. You want him.” Jordan shook his head. “But you are a fool. You don’t even register with him. You will see. I said New Year’s. He might even be back by Christmas. And when he comes back, I will make sure he ends his friendship with you for good.”
Dusty opened his mouth to say something to the asshole, but then closed it. He just wasn’t worth it. He shrugged off the man’s hold on his arm and followed Malcolm outside. His friend was already putting his stuff in the car.
“Are you okay? What did he say to you?” Malcolm asked, biting his lip.
“Nothing, Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get out of here.”
* * * *
Dustin lived in a small one bedroom apartment on the second floor of a nondescript brown apartment building. He’d lived there for a couple of years and, in spite of the fact it was filled with hand-me-down furniture, it had an incredibly comforting feel to it. One Malcolm definitely needed just then.
Malcolm set his duffel bag and the laptop case down just inside the front door and smiled. “Thanks, Dusty. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Dusty blushed and ran his long fingers through his strawberry-blond curls. “Um, what are friends for? You can have the bedroom. I can sleep out here.”
“No way,” Malcolm protested. “Isn’t that a couch bed? I can use that. No reason for you to give up your bed.”
He nodded. “Are you hu
ngry? I could make you some eggs and toast. I need to go to the store, so I don’t really have anything else right now.”
Malcolm loved how sweet Dusty was. “That’d be great.”
Dusty disappeared into the little kitchenette and Malcolm let the smile fade from his lips. He sank down on the couch, tired and sad.
How could he have been so damn stupid anyway? And what the fuck was he going to do now? He didn’t even have a job.
Malcolm buried his head in his hands and the tears he’d been trying to suppress leaked from his eyes. He tried to stop them, ashamed, but his throat clogged and his chest hurt.
“Malcolm.”
He looked up through blurred vision. Dusty stood in the doorway of the kitchen, devastation on his face.
“I’m sorry. I can’t seem to stop,” Malcolm croaked out.
Dusty hurried forward and knelt between Malcolm’s legs and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s going to be okay.”
“What am I going to do? I don’t have a job or a place to live.”
“You’ll stay here for as long as you want. And…well, you’ll have to get a job, that’s true. But you will. It will work out, Malcolm, I promise.”
“I’m such a fool.”
“What? Why?”
“How could I not know he…he was cheating on me? And I gave up my job and my apartment and everything and just let him control everything. Why didn’t I see?”
Dusty’s arms tightened around him. “Because you loved him.”
Malcolm’s heart constricted and he nodded, unable to speak for a second. When he could get the words to come out without choking on them, he said, “Stupid, huh?”
“No,” Dusty whispered into his hair. “It’s never stupid to love. You aren’t the fool, he is. He’s not worthy of you. But you’ll find someone who is. Who will love you back with all his heart like you deserve.”
Malcolm pushed back a little and looked at Dusty. “Yeah?”
Dusty smiled and wiped a tear. “Yeah. Come on, your eggs and toast are ready. Probably cold by now.”