“Please stop bringing that up,” I said, cringing at her words, what Dante and I had as kids not as untoward as she was making out. I’d been fifteen when I’d first started dating Dante, only turning sixteen partway through our relationship. We’d just been two kids caught up with the excitement of a secret relationship. And if anything, he’d looked older than his age at the time, not to mention he’d been taller than me. No one would’ve even noticed the age difference if they hadn’t known us.
I continued, “I just gotta hope that Dante doesn’t want another scandal since he’s being hounded by that mothers’ group. It could be one scandal too much, the straw that broke the camel’s back, as the saying goes.”
“So, you’re basically going to blackmail him? Cos if you are, I’m not happy about that at all. He’s like a brother to me. I don’t want you hurting him even if you are my best friend.”
“He doesn’t need to get hurt, he just needs to pay me child support and I’ll keep my mouth zipped.”
“There’s no two ways about it, Lavinia, that’s definitely blackmail. How many people do you guard in prison that have been convicted of blackmail?”
I stiffened, not appreciating her pointing that out, especially since there was one woman I knew of. “I need the money, I also need Joel, and Dante’s the means to get both. And I’d highly doubt he’d dob me in to the police. He used to rant about them constantly, spewing the most horrible things. He hates them, which isn’t surprising considering he used to be a crim.”
“I still think you should think long and hard about this, Lavinia, think about the ramifications.”
“The ramifications if I don’t do this are that I’d lose Joel, and I’d probably also get evicted from my flat since I’m struggling to pay the rent, while Dante’s living in the lap of luxury.”
“Regardless, you still needa understand all the consequences of contacting Dante.”
“I have, and I want his number.”
“Lavinia—”
“I want his number, Tiana, cos I’m doing this regardless of what you say.”
Tiana exhaled loudly. “Okay, but I did warn you.”
I grabbed a pen and paper out of my bedside drawer, writing down the number she gave me. “Thanks, Tiana, thanks so much.”
“I hope you’ll still be thanking me after you speak to Dante. Just don’t tell him that I knew about Cleo. I’m not sure he’ll forgive me for it.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you, and good luck.”
I breathed out. “I sure need it.”
We said our goodbyes and hung up. I looked down at Dante’s number, my hands shaking, knowing this was it, the moment I’d dreaded for so long. But even though I was scared out of my brain, I keyed in his number, not willing to wait until tomorrow, needing to get this over and done with before I changed my mind and chickened out completely.
The phone dialled, my heart beating so loudly that I was sure it was louder than the dial tone itself. It clicked over pretty quick, a “Yeah, who’s this?” answering me, no yawn, Dante sounding wide awake, his unmistakable voice loud and clear.
I bit my lip, fear causing my throat to freeze up.
“Is that you, Kara?” he asked. When I didn’t answer, he started ranting, “Stop stalking me, you crazy bitch, I’m sick of it, leave me the hell alone. Leave my bro and L alone too cos I know it wuz you who bloody leaked that video. That wuz low even for you. Ash took your sorry arse in, gave you a room to stay in and food to eat when no one else would, and you go and backstab him like this? This is unforgiveable. You may have gotten away with pushing me around for so long, but there’s no way in hell I’m lettin’ you get away with screwing with my whanau,” he said, saying the Māori word for family. “You’re done for.” He hung up.
I swore, annoyed with myself for not talking, though I doubted I could’ve gotten a word in edgeways. Whoever this Kara was, was definitely in the dog box—where I was going to be very soon.
Taking in an even deeper breath, I dialled his number again, wincing as it clicked through to his irate voice. “Look,” he growled, “if ya don’t stop this, Kara, I’m gonna hafta take this to the coppers, slap ya with another restraining order, that’s if Ash hasn’t already gone to ’em for what you did to him cos—”
I jumped in before he could continue, “It’s Lavinia.”
He went dead quiet.
“We dated when we were kids.”
“I know who you are,” he growled. “Why the fuck are you callin’ me? How did’ja even get my number?”
“I...um...” I winced, not knowing how to tell him without it sounding bad, because it was bad. Really bad.
“If you think you can get back with me, think again,” he said. “I have a faithful woman, not a cheating ho who thinks she can put one over on me.”
I winced again, knowing I deserved that, even though it was a touch unfair since I hadn’t planned on falling in love with my stepbrother, Dante a casualty of that love.
“I don’t wanna get back with you, Dante,” I answered. “That’s not why I’m callin’.”
“Just spit out what you want.”
“You have a daughter.”
“No, I have a son,” he replied, clearly misunderstanding what I was saying.
“And a daughter.”
“What the fuck are you on ’bout?”
“Her name is Cleo. She’s ten. She looks just like you. She’s our daughter.”
“What the fuck?!”
I continued before he could say more, needing to explain myself, “You never wore a condom when we did it the first time. I just thought it couldn’t happen to me, that there was no way I could get pregnant. I know I was stupid, but I was young and caught up in the moment. So, when I found out I was pregnant I was in shock. I was also scared of what my mum and stepdad would think of me, Joel too. But most of all, I was afraid of what other people would say when they found out that I’d slept with a thirteen-year-old. Yeah, I was young too, but you were still underage. So when Joel came on to me, wanting sex, I thought that maybe if I convinced him the baby was his he’d help me. And he did, even getting the money for us to run away to Australia. But when Cleo was born, she didn’t look like either of us. However, Joel’s not too bright so he didn’t pick up on it for quite some time. He only found out when Tiana sent us a Christmas card with Angelo on it. Your nephew basically looks like a male version of Cleo. Joel left me cos of it, but eventually came back, continuing to raise Cleo as his own. And even when we separated other times, he always paid child support. But he’s had enough of it now. He’s sick of paying for another man’s child.”
“You fuckin’ bitch,” Dante growled low, his voice making the hairs on my arms stand on end. “You fuckin’ lowdown, lying cunt.”
“You don’t need to use such disgusting language,” I said, not surprised by the insults, Dante never one to mince his words, though the sheer venom in his tone did knock me back a bit. I expected anger, not hate. It made me think of his song Demon in Disguise, one of the lines coming to mind: A devilish ghoul with a pitch black soul. Did he really think of me like that?
I pushed on, needing to explain myself. “I understand what I did was wrong, but you also have to understand that I was a scared sixteen-year-old—”
“One who ran with my child,” he spat out, “made another man pay for my child. You truly are evil.”
“I didn’t do it to be cruel, I was in survival mode.”
“So, you’re in survival mode now that you know I’m famous? That you think you can get money outta me? Cos that’s why you’re callin’ now, aren’t cha? For money.”
“It’s only right that you pay for your child.”
“A child I didn’t know ’bout!”
I jolted at his shout, wincing at how loud it was.
Another voice came over the line, a woman asking Dante what was wrong. He ignored her, continuing to rant at me. “And how can I be sure this kid is even mine? After all, you’re
a lying, cheating ho who fucks not only thirteen-year-olds but stepbrothers. For all I know, you could’ve fucked half the football team. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you tried it on with my brother since you have no loyalty.”
“Dante!” I snapped, absolutely horrified he thought I’d sleep with my best friend’s boyfriend, let alone a bunch of guys. I’d only had two sexual partners, unlike Dante, who I’d heard had turned into a right man-whore, even working as a stripper in his teens. But there was no use in pointing that out, because it would just piss him off even more.
“I was a kid when we split,” I defended myself, “so you can’t judge me so quickly.”
“I can judge you plenty for keeping my own child away from me—if this is even true. Prove it, prove this kid’s mine.”
“I can send you a photo.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“Why not? Cleo looks just like Angelo.”
“Maybe that’s cos she’s his half-sister.”
“She isn’t! So stop with that right now.”
“Why should I? Cos apparently my bro isn’t as clean cut with chicks as I thought he wuz. Maybe he did fuck you, but since you don’t want Tiana knowing you fucked her man, you’re laying this shit on me. You wouldn’t be the first chick to do it. One of my ex’s tried to make me believe Ash’s kid wuz mine. Plus, Ash has no money, so it’s more convenient for you to get me to pay child support.”
“Cleo is not Ash’s! I wouldn’t do that to Tiana, she’s my best friend. I tell her everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes!”
“Which means you told her ’bout me bein’ your kid’s father?”
I snapped my mouth shut, realising that I’d unintentionally outed Tiana.
“So, you did tell her,” he said, not asked.
I winced, praying that Tiana forgave me for my slipup. “Yes.”
Dante swore, the word bitch and a few other unmentionables leaving his mouth.
“Don’t be so hard on her,” I said. “She didn’t want to keep it a secret, she wanted me to tell you as soon as she found out. But I refused to, too scared of the consequences.”
“You can spew out all the excuses you want but there’s none I’ll accept. What she did wuz unforgivable, and what you did is unforgivable.”
“Again, I’m sorry, just please don’t get aggro with Tiana, this is completely on me. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.”
“She still shoulda told me.”
“She never meant you any harm by it. She’s a sweetheart.”
“Yeah, right,” he said sarcastically. “Just tell me when I can see my kid.”
“Since I live in Australia, it really would be a lot easier for you,” and me, “if I send you photo proof. I can also send you a DNA sample from Cleo, so you can get it tested.”
“I will still needa see her in person.”
“The DNA test should be enough proof.”
“It’s not just ’bout proof, it’s ’bout her bein’ my daughter. I wanna see her.”
“But I live in Australia.”
“I’ll fly over.”
I blinked, surprised he would do that, also not wanting it. I’d much prefer to keep things under wraps so that Cleo didn’t find out, allowing her to continue believing Joel was her father.
“You gonna reply?” he said.
I cleared my throat. “You really don’t need to fly all the way from New Zealand. You must be incredibly busy with your career. All you need to do is—”
“—pay you off?” he said. “Is that what ya think I’m gonna do?”
“You can afford it. I heard you had a massive sell-out concert in Sydney, and I hear your music on the radio all the time. You must be raking it in, and it’s not like I’ll be asking for much.”
“I’m not payin’ a cent unless I see my kid, and if everything you say is true, I want her with me.”
My eyes widened, never in a million years expecting him to say that! “No! I’m her mother!” I snapped, totally bewildered by his reaction. I’d thought he’d try to buy my silence—or flat-out hang up.
“And I’m her father!” he yelled back.
“You don’t even know her!”
“I would if you didn’t steal her away from me!”
“You were thirteen-years-old at the time, a child yourself. You wouldn’t have wanted to raise her.”
“Bullshit! I’m not like other men, men who you obviously think don’t give a shit ’bout their kids. Well, I do, and if you can’t support her, I’ll look after her like I shoulda been doin’ from day dot.”
“You can’t!” I said, now panicked, also in disbelief. He was supposed to be an irresponsible rock star, someone who’d run a mile from this type of responsibility.
“I can if she’s my child,” he growled.
“I live in another country from you. Cleo’s been brought up as an Australian, she also has Australian citizenship.”
“She’s a New Zealander!”
“I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have bothered you. Just forget it.”
I quickly hung up, absolutely terrified out of my wits. Within seconds, my phone was ringing, Dante obviously calling me back. I ignored it, wishing that Tiana had given me a number that wasn’t a mobile. Once the phone went silent, I rang through to her, unable to contain the sobs racking my words.
“Dante wants to take Cleo off me,” I cried, my hands shaking like crazy, everything shaking, because I was trembling from head to toe.
“You can’t be serious?” Tiana replied.
“He told me he wants to raise her himself. He was so angry, Tiana, no, he was more than angry. He was terrifying. I’m really scared. He’s rich, he could pay for expensive lawyers to get her. Oh God, what have I done?!”
“Calm down, that’s not gonna happen,” Tiana said. “This is just Dante having a knee jerk reaction. Once he’s calmed down, he’ll see he can’t look after Cleo. He has a busy rock career. His manager is also planning a tour for him, where his partner will travel with him. They can do that with a small baby, but not a ten-year-old, plus I’m not sure his partner will wanna raise Cleo, cos it won’t be Dante looking after her, it’ll be Clara. She’ll wanna have a say in this too. Honestly, this is a knee jerk reaction. Once Dante realises the reality of having a ten-year-old with no connection to his partner, he’ll realise he can’t take Cleo offa you.”
I nodded, wanting to believe it, though I still felt like throwing up. “Can you please talk to him too?”
“Um, I’m not sure it’ll be wise if I get involved, he could find out about—”
I cut her off, “He worked out that you know. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, no, Lavinia!” she cried. “You don’t know what you just did!”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“You made me a promise. I helped you. How could you do this to me? Dante will hate me, not to mention what Ash will think. It could ruin my chances with him.”
I started bawling, unable to hold my emotions in a second longer. She swore, not something Tiana did often, if at all... until now, when I’d fucked everything up for the both of us.
“Just stop crying,” she said, now crying herself.
“I can’t,” I sobbed out, so upset I didn’t know if I could ever stop. “Please don’t hate me, Tiana, please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you.” She exhaled loudly. “I understand things are said when we’re upset, that things come out unintentionally. God, I know that all too well.”
“So, we can still be friends?”
“Of course! I chose to keep your secret so should shoulder the consequences too. I just hope we both come out on the other side intact.”
“I hope so too.” I breathed out, hoping it with all of my heart.
DANTE
Clara grabbed my arm, trying to stop me from tipping the coffee table over, but I still did it, so fucking enraged I could smash the house up. A
stack of magazines, as well as the bowl of chips that we’d been munching on while watching a movie, fell to the floor. Our glasses also tumbled over, my one breaking as it hit the wooden bowl, spraying Coke over the white carpet.
Jade appeared in the lounge doorway in his black PJs, along with my dad, who was only in his boxers. Dad had returned home after our phone conversation, to both mine and Jade’s relief, though right now I couldn’t think about his illness, only Lavinia’s words filling my head.
“What the hell, Dante?!” Jade yelled, rushing over to the coffee table.
He let out a shriek as he stepped on the broken glass. My dad shot forward, swooping Jade up into his arms. Jade let out an even louder shriek, this one of surprise.
“Leave him to his tantrum throwing,” Dad said, “let’s look at that foot.” He turned to the door, coughing as he did it.
“Put me down, Tane!” Jade demanded loudly. “You’re unwell.”
“Nah,” Dad said, carrying my manager through the doorway as though the li’l dude was a damsel in distress.
I let out a loud exhale and ran my fingers through my hair, their interruption stopping me from continuing my rampage, but my fury remained, and so fucking deep that I still wanted to fuck shit up.
“Dante,” Clara said, capturing my attention.
She looked scared, her big steel-grey eyes sending my anger crashing down, the realisation I’d scared her slapping me in the face. I swore and pulled her into a hug, the day going from bad to utter shite. First, I’d had some dancers grope me, then the press swarmed my front yard, accusing me of having an affair with my guitarist, which was complete bullshit, then my dad told me he had lung cancer, and now I find out that I have a ten-year-old daughter?
I began to shake; what Lavinia had told me one of my biggest fears in life. The very idea that another man was raising my child made everything that my stepfather had done to me and my brother come back in a rush. The sick bastard had raped me when I was a kid. He’d also raped my older brother, murdering my mother when she’d tried to stop him. And for Lavinia to tell me that my daughter was in a household with a man who wasn’t blood, not to mention in another country? I couldn’t, just couldn’t fucking deal with it. People had phobias about bloody ridiculous things like spiders, heights, clowns... My phobia was another man living with a child of mine. Just the thought was screwing with my head, making me imagine the worst possible life for this kid.
Demon in Disguise Page 3