"NO! We never dated! Ewww, that would have been like going out with Derek. And I did mention Cash AND Vanessa to you. Remember my best friend from college? Cash was Vanessa's husband." I thought back to her college days and I did remember some friends of hers that she had told me were so madly in love that it gave her hope that one day she could find true love, but then she changed how she had felt about love a few years ago.
"Yes, I remember now and I can't believe that's him. Now I feel bad, he must feel like he's in hell. There's no way he will ever find a love like that again! Theirs was like a once in a lifetime love, Claud, the way you described them." Wow. I remembered that she had mentioned kids. I remember her telling me that they had a son, but I didn't know they had more than that.
"How did she die again? I hate to ask, but I can't remember." I looked at her and she seemed truly upset.
"She died in childbirth, giving birth to their daughter. That poor baby never knew her mother and it was such a sad deal. They went to the hospital, because she was having contractions a month early and when she gave birth, they couldn't stop the bleeding and she died a few minutes after the baby was born. The baby was in ICU for a month. I heard they had to get security to remove him from Vanessa's room after she died. He wouldn't have anything to do with the baby, until she went home from the hospital."
My heart is breaking for the baby. I can understand him not wanting to leave Vanessa, but to not meet your newborn daughter until a month later? Surely he doesn't blame his daughter for her death. That would be horrible.
"That is absolutely horrible, Claud!" She nodded her head and reached up to get a tissue to blot her eyes. I'm sure this has brought up all of the memories from that time in her life.
"It was horrible. Vanessa and I would try to go eat lunch together once a month to catch up with what all was going on in our busy lives. When I got the call, I was devastated and I kind of shut down for a while. I just couldn't believe that that could happen to them. If anyone was going to make it, it was them, ya know?"
I remembered years ago her calling me crying and telling me that her friend from college had died, but she never went into details and I didn't push her, because I could tell that she was having problems dealing with it. A couple of months later, she was back to being herself, so I never brought it up again.
"Ok, we need to get back out there. Throw some water on your face. You look like your best friend just died, and I haven't. So chop chop!" I was amazed at how good Claudia was at hiding her feelings. One minute she was teary eyed and the next she was smiling. She clapped her hands at me to hurry up. The last place I wanted to go now was to that table to have a meal with Cash, now that I knew so much about his life. I just want to crawl in bed and cry for him and Vanessa, and his babies, and for Derek and my own babies.
*****************
We return back to the table and Cash had already ordered us new drinks. He rose up, and sat down when we did. Claudia sat down to the right of him and then I sat down to the right of her, which I was doing to avoid having to sit closest to him, but now I'm directly in front of him. I am still blown away at how beautifully intense his eyes are.
"So Claud, I have a question for you that I hope you can answer freely, because I'm a little confused about something. Oh, and absolutely no judgments here." He was smirking and winked at her. The sound of his familiarity at calling her by her nickname makes me realize how close they once were.
"Cash, I already know what you're going to ask and the answer is no, I'm not into women. You don't miss anything, do you?" She smirked and winked back.
"Hahahaha. You still know me well, I see." He was laughing his head off and he has such a great laugh. Wait, what is my deal with this guy?
"When Paul mentioned that you weren't into guys, it took me back, I must say, but then I wondered why he would think that and all I could come up with was that the piece of shit must have hit on you. Don't get me wrong," he reached for his glass and took a drink, "we do business together from time to time, but spending time with him longer than a dinner, definitely isn't in my favorite list of things to do." I was inwardly laughing, because it was nice to know that one of POS's peers felt the same way that Claudia and I did.
"And what might be IN that list of favorite things to do, Cash?" She was flirting with him. Maybe she’s not the man hater that she pretends to be. Very interesting.
"Having dinner with two beautiful women happens to be on the list." He grinned and winked at ME this time!
"Oh please! You know you're not interested in either of us. So come on Cash," she leaned over and wrapped her hands around one of his hands, “tell me how you've been. How are the kids?"
"They're doing alright, I guess. Gideon is growing like a weed. He's seven now and asks so many questions and Eden, well, she will be five in a few weeks." He pulled his hand back and looked pained and I knew at once why. I can only imagine how his little girl’s birthday would make him aware that it was also the anniversary of his late wife's death. I knew exactly what was going through his mind at that moment, and he's been dealing with her loss for five years. It's something you truly never get over.
"Five? Oh, that's such a cool age too. I should have kept in touch better. For that, I am truly sorry. I wanted to call you so many times to see how you were doing, but I just figured it would end up with a conversation to where we would both be bawling and I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it. I realize now what a mistake it was." A few tears fell down her cheeks and I could tell that Vanessa meant a lot more to her than she let on and this time he put his hand over hers in a comforting way.
"No Claudia, I understand. If it hadn't have been for my parents helping out, I don't think I could have gotten through those first horrible weeks."
"How are your parents? I ran into them a few months ago, but I was in such a hurry, all I could do was say hi and bye. They looked well."
"They're doing pretty good. They keep the kids every weekend and spoil them rotten and then the kids come home and give the nanny hell, because she doesn't spoil them like their grandparents." My first thought is ok, nanny? He works so he has to have help, but doesn't he spoil them rotten? I'm sure he does in the evenings when he gets home from work.
"So tell me about your nanny? Is she hot? Is she every man’s dream, or as old as methuselah?" She was cracking up and honestly I didn't see anything funny about it.
"Old actually, and wanting to retire. She told me yesterday that she was putting her two weeks’ notice in and that if the kids were older she could stay on, but honestly, they wear her out. They have way too much energy for her and you never know what Gideon is going to get into, and he loves giving her presents from the amphibian family, whether it’s frogs, lizards, or garden snakes. He's not scared of anything!" He must have been visualizing Gideon's escapades because there was that smile again that spread all the way to the top of his cheeks and his eyes were shining brighter.
"So you're looking for a nanny? Did you know that Olivia is in between jobs right now? And she's awesome with kids. She used to substitute teach at the local school where she lived and help out with the latch key program before and after school." She looked over at me with an excited grin on her face. "See Olivia! There's you a great job and I know Cash will pay you well, won’t you?"
My first thought is that she didn't mention that I was also a mother. Or used to be anyway, but I'm thankful she didn't, so that I wouldn't have to explain how Derek and the kids died. I kicked her harder than I had ever kicked before. I don't know why she didn't wince, but Cash got an odd look on his face.
See, even he thinks it’s a bad idea, which it is. Just because I told her I would think about getting a job, didn't mean I wanted to be his nanny. I can't handle being around children. It brings back too many memories. I grabbed my drink and gulped it down as fast as I could and asked the waitress that was walking by to get me another one.
"Olivia? What do you think? I'm really stressing out trying to figure
out what I'm going to do. My parents have mentioned retiring earlier than they had planned, when I called to give them the news and this would be an answer to all of our prayers."
He was looking at me like he was hoping that I would just say yes right there on the spot. Just because he's the kind of man that I'm sure gets what he wants, doesn't mean he's going to have his way on this. He doesn't even know me. I could be an axe murderer for all he knows, taking care of his kids. I would have to know my children's parents for months and would go to visit their house, before I would even consider letting them sleep over at their house.
"Consider your prayers answered, Cash. She'll do it. Won't you, Olivia?" I kicked her again. Harder than I did last time and what I heard next had me lowering my head and downing my drink that had just arrived.
"Would you please quit kicking me, Claudia? What's wrong with you? That's twice now! I'm going to have a bruise on my leg for weeks!" Oh god! That's why he winced earlier. It wasn't because he didn't want me to be his nanny. It was because I kicked HIM instead of HER! Oh no!
"I didn't." She looked over at me and knew right away that it was me. "I'm sorry Cash, haha. I keep getting these cramps in my calf and I'm trying to extend my leg out to make them go away. Man they've been killing me lately, isn't that right. O?" Thank you Claudia for coming to my rescue again.
"Um. y y yes. she has been having a lot of them lately. You're probably just low on potassium or something." Whew! Check please! And another drink! I have a really good buzz going on now.
"Oh, you can talk. I was wondering if maybe you were mute or something." I gave him a very hateful scowl. "Not that there's anything wrong with being a mute. It’s just, I believe that's the first thing that I have heard come out of your mouth since I walked into the room." I'm looking away, trying to take in all of the surroundings, anything, but this conversation that we are having right now.
"Claudia, kick me again, because I think I just stuck my foot in my mouth. I do that quite often, I'm afraid. I sincerely apologize, Olivia, but the job is yours if you want it. Claudia and I go way back and she's like family to me, so if you're her family, then you're my family as well." Oh, what do I say back to that?
"I accept your apology, but I really don't think that this is the job for me."
The idea of spending any time with kids terrifies me. That's what I wanted to say! I would become too attached and your little girl is too close to Jenna's age when she died, and I just couldn't bear to spend time with her every day. Gideon is too close to Jeremiah's age and sounds just as mischievous as he was, and no no no no no! I just can't do it!
"Before you dismiss the idea would you at least listen to what the job entails?" I looked up and he was staring at me, waiting for my reply. It would be very rude of me to say no, so I just nodded my head.
"Ok. My parents pick the kids up every Friday at 5pm and bring them back on Sunday at 6pm. You would need to be there by dinner time at 6pm Sunday, and then get them bathed and ready for bed. You will watch them all week, morning and night, and take Gideon to school every morning and pick him up after school. No need to worry about driving, because I have a driver that will take you to his school and he will take you to go pick him up as well. Eden won't start school for another year, so you will watch her every day, but don't worry she still takes naps, according to the nanny. You can have a couple of hours break before its time to pick Gideon up from school and if she's still asleep, you can just leave her there with the cook. She loves the kids to death, but she doesn't have the time to watch them. Are you with me so far?" I nodded for him to continue. Is he kidding? When does he spend time with them?
"I'm usually away on business two or three nights a week and when I'm at home, I'm working in my study. The kids know not to bother me when I'm in my study, so it will be your job to make sure they don't get any ideas and come bother me. You will have weekends off to do whatever it is you want to do, as long as you're back at my house by 6pm Sunday, when my parents bring them home. The job pays $3000 a week but I will pay more if you want more, because money isn't an issue. You will have your own suite that connects to the children's rooms, so that if they wake up in the middle of the night sick or from a bad dream, you'll be right down the hall from them. You will also have monitors to look in on them that have audio as well. So, what do you think? Do you want the job?"
I so want to kick Claudia for real, but I refrain myself from doing so, just that in case I accidentally kick Cash instead. Actually, kicking him sounds good about now. He's not looking for a nanny for his kids. He's looking for a mother. That is something that I'm not anymore. Never again. I look to Claudia for some way out of this and I can tell that she knows what's going through my mind, because she saved me.
"You said your nanny put her two weeks’ notice in right, Cash? How about we let Olivia think about this? It is a rather big responsibility that she would be taking on, when you lay it all out just like that." She looked at me and I gave her a smile, thanking her silently for ending this conversation. He seemed a little disappointed when he answered, "Yes Olivia, please think about it, but I would feel more comfortable with someone that I consider family. Please don't take too long to get back to me with your answer. Like I said, if it’s not enough money, then I will pay you more." There was that grin again, along with the intensity in his eyes. It didn't have the same effect on me like it did earlier, though.
"You'll be the first to know, if I decide to or not." NOT! There's my answer. God, I need another drink!
We ordered dinner and more drinks and they told stories from college. I wasn't really listening. I would just nod my head and laugh at the right times and act interested in the conversation, but I was more interested in making sure my glass didn't get empty. Afterwards, we all exchanged phone numbers, because they didn't want to lose touch again and my number got exchanged, because I think Mr. Blue Eyes is expecting me to take the job, which is NOT going to happen. We walk outside to wait for Claudia's car and exchange pleasantries, while waiting.
"It was very nice to have met you, Olivia. I hope to hear from you soon on your decision." He shook my hand and said goodbye and leaned over to Claudia to give her a hug goodbye. Claudia and I got into her car and there was nothing but silence for five minutes. She knew I was mad. Mad and drunk.
"I have four words for you, Claud! Not talking about it tonight! Four words!" I put four fingers in front of her face.
"I understand, but you do realize that that's five words, right?" She giggled. She actually giggled.
"Grrrrrrrrr! I'm so mad at you right now!"
"That was seven words and an angry growl." Are you kidding me right now?
"Grrrrrrrrr. You don't always have to have the last word!" I pointed at her this time and she looked at me and pretended to zip her lips and the rest of the ride home was very quiet.
CHAPTER FOUR
I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. One advantage to that was that I had slept so hard that I didn't have to worry about any nightmares.
My first thought was of Cash. How could such a highly intelligent, gorgeous man be such a callous ass to his own children? I would give anything to spend 5 minutes with my children and his are alive and from what I remember hearing from him last night, he could care less about spending any time with his. I remember that he didn't mention anything about the children's dinner arrangements. Maybe that was "their" time each day. My second thought was how I was going to spend my day in the many ways of torturing Claudia. I vaguely remember getting into my bed last night, but I do remember her volunteering me to be a nanny to Cash Kingston's kids.
I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. While I'm in there, I glance at myself in the mirror and whoa do I look bad! I brush my teeth and walk into the living room, ready to make Claudia beg for mercy. She's sitting on the couch reading the newspaper and looks up and smiles.
"Good morning, sleepy head. I hope you slept better than you look. There are some aspirin on the counter right n
ext to the coffee pot with your favorite creamer already out and waiting for you." Wow! She sure seems mighty perky this morning. It's going to take me at least a cup of coffee before I can function or deal with her. After I took my aspirin and fixed my cup of coffee, I headed back into the living room to sit down at the other end of the couch. She's watching some news channel now and reading the paper. She puts the paper down and turns towards me and starts staring at me, which pisses me off.
"Don't talk to me for at least the next ten minutes. My head is pounding from drinking too much last night, but I DO remember what led me to drinking like a fish!" I reach for the paper that she laid down, to look like I was doing something to keep from talking about last night.
"Since when do you read the newspaper?" She's still staring at me and it's making me madder. Why can't she just let me wake up?
"Since right now. Isn't it neat that all of the dogs at the dog pound got adopted yesterday? At least something good came out of yesterday." I looked over and glared at her.
"Someone doesn't want to talk." She's finally getting the hint. She rolls her eyes at me and looks at the TV.
"Oh, we will be talking. I just asked for 10 minutes and it’s only been 2!" Now, what do you have to say for yourself?
She got up and stomped into her room. Stomped? Really? It had me remembering a time that Jenna was upset with me because I wouldn't give her any candy. She had given me the silent treatment and stomped off very dramatically to her bedroom. Haha. That memory had me giggling. Jenna was always my little drama queen and I always threatened to send her to her drama queen Aunt Claudia when she became a teenager. I went from giggling to tears in a matter of seconds. Jenna will never get to grow up to be a teenager. She'll always be 5 years old. My last memory of her was her soulful dark brown eyes asking me to reassure her that we would all be ok.
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