Lost and Found

by Jennifer Bryan Yarbrough

  She jumped as two security guards grabbed her by each arm and she was gone. Cash looks at me and Claudia with eyes of steel, as he points at me and then Claudia.

  "You and you! Elevator! My office! Now!" He walks towards the elevators and Claudia and I start walking towards him, while Caleb grabs each of our hands and squeezes mine trying to reassure me.

  When we make it around to the elevator, the doors are closing and Cash looks devastated and is staring holes through me. He doesn't even try to hold the doors open for us, so we go to the elevator next to his.

  As the three of us walk into the elevator, I lose it. Claudia rushes over to me and pulls me into her arms and even Caleb joins in on the hug.

  "Olivia? Is that true what that woman said? What Claudia said? About you being pregnant?" I just nod at him. "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? Why is Cash so mad?"

  "Why do you think he's mad, Caleb? Don't you remember how Vanessa died? In childbirth?"

  "But that could have happened to anyone..." He notices the look on my face. "Oh. He's afraid it could happen to you. Claudia and I are here. He's not going to do anything stupid."

  "I don't think you know your brother as well as you think you do, Caleb. He never wants anymore kids and that was one of the conditions before we continued our relationship."

  The elevator doors open and I can't move. They had to pull me out of it and pretty much drag me into his office. When I walk in and see him standing in the corner with a glass of scotch, I can tell that he hasn't calmed down any and he looks absolutely crushed.

  "Caleb, you can leave, this is between Olivia, me, and Claudia. You had the same shocked look on your face, so I know you weren't in on this big secret!" He slams his glass down on the counter and it shatters, which makes me jump. Claudia immediately comes closer to me, but Caleb walks towards Cash.

  "I'm not going anywhere, big brother. You're right. I didn't know, but I'm not going to leave two defenseless women alone in here with you as angry as you are." He sneers at Caleb and walks towards me.

  "So be it. You better stay out of my way then little brother." He's standing in front of me trying to come up with what to say to me. "Who all knows, Liv? How long have you known?"

  "Uh. Claudia and um, your mom. That's it! I swear! And I've known for about three weeks. I hated lying to you and I wanted to tell you, Cash, but I was afraid of how you would react."

  "So, you're what? 6 or 7 weeks pregnant then? I'll set you up an appointment for Monday morning." Please don't let it be for what I think he means. Please God! No! Please let him realize that he's wrong about this."

  "For what? An ultrasound?" Please let it be for an ultrasound.

  "No, Liv! To get rid of it! Didn't you agree with me that Gideon and Eden were enough for us and that if you got pregnant you'd get rid of it?" Caleb didn't give me a chance to respond.

  "Wait! What? You want her to have an abortion? Kill your own unborn child? Cash! What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "This is none of your business, Caleb! I told you to stay out of this! It's just an egg right? So nothing is getting killed! I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER WOMAN I LOVE TO A FETUS!" I immediately put both hands over my stomach, because I'm now in full protection mode for my babies.

  "I'm not doing it! I also told you that if it happened, it happened and I would not get rid of a baby! I've already killed THREE CHILDREN, CASH! Do you honestly think I'm going to KILL TWO MORE?" All of a sudden the room is moving and I feel dizzy and Claudia is beside me in no time, helping me stay on my two feet.

  "Olivia. Honey, you didn't kill them. They died in an accident. Please don't say that again, it breaks my heart every time you talk like that." She has tears running down her cheeks and I try to respond, but Cash is infuriated.

  "What do you mean TWO MORE? You mean Twins? Oh my God! You can't do this to us, Olivia! I thought you were happy! I thought what we had with Gideon and Eden was all you needed."

  "I didn't mean to do this and evidently this happened that first weekend we made love! I'm 13 weeks pregnant and yes, they’re twins! Evidently they run in YOUR FAMILY, because they damn sure don't run in mine!"

  I'm having another dizzy spell and my stomach is churning, so I run to his bathroom to throw up. I hear screaming and yelling from the other room and I know that it's Claudia and Cash arguing, because I hear Caleb trying to get them both to calm down. I rinse my mouth out and go back into the room and I see the two of them nose to nose, and neither of them is backing down from one another. Cash looks over at me.

  "Olivia, you have to make a choice right now. It's them or me." Is he serious? My heart is slowly breaking a little piece at a time. How much more heartbreak can I take?

  "Are you serious? I didn't make them all by myself. You had a hand in it too I do believe! They're half yours! How can you look into Gideon and Eden's eyes that are so vibrant and full of life and ask me to get rid of them? How can you ask me to choose you over their lives? I will be fine, Cash. They will be healthy babies! Please do the right thing here. Please just accept this and look forward to holding our precious babies, who were made out of our love for each other. Please, Cash!"

  I'm begging him to let this go and as I'm bawling my eyes, I look at him and I can tell that he's about to cry himself, but he's holding the tears back. He looks so scared, I walk towards him, but he waves me back.

  "NO! I can't do it, Liv. I cannot look at you every day and count the days down until they kill you. I can't do it. One baby, I might have been able to handle, but a high risk pregnancy? I can't do it. I'm sorry. I love you too much. You have no idea how much I love you, but the lies... and this? I just can't do it! I think you need to move out and move back in with Claudia."

  I can't speak! Move back in with Claudia? What about the kids? Where is he going to tell them I went? I can't just leave them! I'm their mother! I can't abandon the children like he so obviously can!

  "You selfish bastard! I told you that if you ever hurt her I would KILL YOU! Why don't you quit hiding behind what happened to Vanessa and start acting like a MAN for once! You need therapy, Cash! You abandoned your children for five fucking years and now you're going to abandon their mother and two more of your children?" Caleb has to hold her back and I am having problems catching my breath, because I feel like the room is spinning.

  "Cash, I'm sorry, but she's right. You can't do this to her. She doesn't deserve it. I know you're in love with her and she loves you too. What about the kids? How are you going to explain to them why she left? They're calling her Mommy, because to them she is their mother. Cash, brother, come on, think about what you're doing here. This is not all about you and your insecurities. There are other people you're going to hurt, if you don't do the right thing here."

  "Then I'll leave. I've got business that needs taken care of in China that could take a few months and I've been putting it off because, well, I didn't want to leave everyone, but this looks like a perfect time for me to go. Liv, you can stay at the house and take care of the kids, so that they won't know that anything has changed between us."

  "Cash? Please? I love you. I can't bear for you to leave. Please don't leave us. I'm sorry I can't do what you want me to do. I can't do what you're asking! Please, Cash! Please! I... I... Don't want to..."

  Everything starts going black and I feel myself falling slowly to the ground and then I hear Claudia and Cash screaming my name. All I can think of before I lose consciousness is God please let my babies be okay, because I'm all they've got.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  I wake up and I feel as if I'm in a fog, because I can't see anything. It's not that I can't see anything; I just can't open my eyes. I'm not sure where I am, but I hear beeping next to me, which lets me know that I'm in a hospital. I hear loud whispers in the room, which lets me know that Cash and Claudia are still arguing.

  "Cash? Didn't you hear what the Dr. said? She's already past her first trimester and she said everything was going great in the pregnancy."

&
nbsp; "Then why are we at the hospital, if everything is so great, Claud? Caleb! Get your girlfriend out of here. It's time for her to go!"

  "I'm not going anywhere! Do you think I'm leaving her alone with you after you broke her heart tonight? She's in here because she's dehydrated and exhausted! If you didn't look at pregnancy as if it were a death sentence, you two could be snuggling in front of a fire right now picking out baby names, with her all rested up and you treating her the way she deserves to be treated! My brother bullied her and treated her like a door mat and I really thought you were different, Cash!"

  "I'm not a bully! I love her more than anything! This is just the one thing I told her I didn't want to happen and she knew that!"

  "Please. You're not a bully? Telling her she has to "get rid of it" if she wound up pregnant? She was already pregnant when you guys had that conversation, you dumbass! Do you know what's really sad about this? I feel like I'm to blame, because I'm the one that pushed her to work for you, because I thought you were a good guy! Wow! Was I wrong! Vanessa would be so ashamed of you right now."

  "Don't you dare bring Vanessa into this! She has nothing to do with this."

  "She has EVERYTHING to do with this, Cash! She's the reason you're so messed up in the head about this! I knew Vanessa very well and if I would have asked her before she had Eden if she knew that she was going to die giving birth to her would she let her baby die so that she could live, she would tell me to let her die so that Eden could live! I know that and you know that!"

  "You two need to calm down. You don't need Olivia waking up to this shit! I think the stress that she's been under is why she's here in the first place and I'm embarrassed at what all she had to hear in your office, Cash. Please brother, think about this. Do you want to lose all three of them? We should be passing out cigars and celebrating, not be at each other’s throats! Cash, you're going to be a father again. To twins!"

  "Yeah... Great... Twins... They're going to suck the life right out of her, literally."

  "Well, if it’s any consolation Cash, you and your brother sucked the life out of me when I was pregnant with you both, but as soon as I looked into your beautiful eyes, I forgot all about it."

  "Mother, what are you doing here?"

  "I left the kids with your father and I came to check on Olivia and my grandbabies. How is she doing?” I can finally open my eyes and I see Amelia staring back at me. "Oh. You're awake. How are you feeling, honey?"

  "I'm okay I guess. I've had quite an eventful evening, I guess you could say."

  "So, I've heard. I also heard you've got a mean right hook." She gives me a wink and I remember punching Maggie in the nose. That seemed like so long ago after what happened afterwards.

  "How did you find out, Mother? Was it Claudia or Caleb?"

  "It sounds like you three have been too busy arguing to waste any time on calling me. Mother's always have their ways of finding things out. Isn't that right, Olivia?"

  I nod my head, because I'm too tired to do more than that. Cash comes and stands on the other side of my bed and grabs my hand. I look up at him and he looks a little calmer, but worried. I can't get it out of my head what all he said to me and I can't look at him, so I look to the other side and Amelia is still standing there with concern in her eyes.

  "Do you need anything, Sweetheart? How long do you have to stay in here?"

  "I have no idea, I just woke up. I haven't even seen the Dr. yet."

  Claudia spoke up. "Her doctor said that she's dehydrated and exhausted, and will keep her for 24 hours for observation and when she wakes up we need to go get her, because she wants to do an ultrasound." Amelia's eyes lit up.

  "Well, go get her! I would love to see my grandbabies. I bet we will be able to hear their heartbeats too! Wouldn't that be great, Olivia?" Yes, it would and I couldn't think of anything better at the moment than some reassurance that they were doing alright.

  A few minutes later, the Dr. comes in and starts the ultrasound and all five of us are looking at the screen. When she showed us the babies, I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen. They were so beautiful.

  I didn't dare look at Cash, because I wouldn't be able to stand it if he couldn't look at them and see them for what they were. Babies. Our babies.

  I started crying when she turned the volume up so that we could hear their strong heartbeats and Cash squeezed my hand, but I still couldn't look at him. She printed pictures for all of us and told us that if we wanted to know the sex of the babies, she could do that in another four weeks, and left. I hear Cash clear his throat, as if he wants to say something.

  "Well everyone, Liv is doing great and the babies are doing great, so I think we need to let her get some rest. I'm going to stay here with her, so you all should go home and get some rest. Mom? I think Liv and I should be the ones to tell the children about this, so just hold off on that, conversation okay?"

  "No." Did I just say that?

  “No? No what, Liv?" I finally look at him and he seems calmer and not as worried.

  "No, as in I want to be alone. You can go home too." I can tell that I just hurt his feelings, but I don't care.

  “Liv, sweetheart it’s okay. I understand that I hurt you, but you don't need to stay up here by yourself. What if you need some help or something?"

  "I can stay up here with you, Liv. Cash is right; you shouldn't be here all alone."

  I don't feel like having an “I hate Cash” bash all night, so I don't want her here either. I shake my head and glare at both of them. Amelia smiles and pats my hand.

  "I would like for all of you to leave right now, so that I can talk to Olivia, alone. Now, Cash! Claudia? You too, Dear." Cash doesn't know what else to do, so he just leans down and kisses me on the cheek and leaves with them. When they leave, Amelia goes to shut the door, so that we could have some privacy.

  I'm bawling before she comes back to the bed. She must have sensed why I wanted to be alone, because she sat down on the bed and pulled me into her arms and just let me cry.

  "There, there, now. You just let it all out. From what I've heard, you've had a pretty rough night."

  I couldn't stop crying and I've never wanted to pick up the phone and have my parents come see me more than anything in the world. Having Amelia here like this was the next best thing. I pull back from her, because I couldn't figure out how she found out and I don't know why, but I was curious.

  "How did you find out if none of them called you?" She blushed, as if she had been caught doing something wrong.

  "If I tell you, you can't breathe a word of it, okay?" I nodded my head. "Lucas called me."

  "Lucas? As in Lucas, Lucas?"

  "Yes. That Lucas. He saw the security guard take that vulgar girl out of the building and he heard enough to know that it had involved you, so he went to check on all of you to make sure that everyone was alright and he heard how all of you had gone upstairs. So, he went up to Cash's office and heard yelling and he heard what all you were talking about from the hallway. He's the one that called 911, because the three of them were screaming at each other and weren’t reacting fast enough. Cash doesn't know this, but Lucas has been my mole, or shall I say friend for a lot longer than Cash has known him. Trust me, don't think badly of me or him, but it helped when that evil witch was taking care of my grandbabies. She tried to bully Carmen and Lucas, but she couldn't bully me. So, that’s my source. Are you still going to keep it a secret for me?"

  "Yes, there's no reason to tell anyone. Who knows? I might need him myself in the near future to be my mole, when I leave and Cash looks for another nanny."

  "So, is that it? You're leaving? Just like that?"

  "Just like that? Did Lucas tell you what all was said? Cash pretty much left it to one of us leaving, so I don't know. I can't leave Gideon and Eden. They're my babies too! Why does your son have to be such an arrogant ass? I can't even look at him, because I feel like he's ripped my heart out!"

  "Sweetheart, I have an idea. Gideon has o
ne more week of Christmas break before he goes back to school. Why don't you go see your parents for the week and I'll keep the kids. I bet it would do you some good to go home and visit them, and I bet they would love the surprise. Maybe a week away and some distance can help you clear your head."

  That is a great idea, but I can't just go see them at their house. I just can't bear to run into anyone that I used to know there. I bet they would meet me halfway through and it would be like a vacation. I definitely have the money to treat my parents.

  "Yes. That is a great idea and I could get plenty of rest and not deal with any drama. It sounds wonderful! Thank you, Amelia! But will you not tell them? I'd rather tell them myself. Well, leave them a note anyway."

  "Haha. That will teach them! Okay, Dear. I'm going to let you rest and just shoot me a text if you don't mind when you leave and when you get there, so I'll know you're alright. Don't worry about Cash waiting outside, because I'll make sure he goes home. I love you, Olivia." She leans back down and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  "I love you too. Thank you so much for all that you've done for me."

  "Oh, it's nothing; I have already claimed you as my daughter, so no worries, Sweetie. Goodnight."

  Yes. I need to see my parents. I know they're going to be upset with me for not telling them about my pregnancy, but they'll get over it, because they do love me unconditionally and I know they'll be excited and happy that they're going to be grandparents again.

  As far as Cash goes, he needs to work on himself while I'm gone. I can't fix him and his insecurities. I refuse to have him look at me with pity just waiting for my so called death to happen when I deliver the twins. Maybe this week away from each other will help him too.

  ********************

  I woke up the next morning, begging my doctor to release me so that I could get away from everyone, so I could think and rest. Since the fluids they had given me had put me back to where I was supposed to have been, I promised her that if I had any problems I would run to the nearest hospital, so she cleared me to leave and to fly on the plane to meet my parents.