“You’re not going anywhere with my baby.”
“Just try and stop me. I will not let you taint this baby with your hatred and anger for past wrongs. You’re just perpetuating the cycle. Worse, you’re letting my father win because when push comes to shove, you’re just like him. Win at all costs and damn the consequences and anyone else involved.”
Jack stood back in shock as Lily swept past him. It wasn’t until the front door slammed shut with a resoundingly hollow echo that he realised he should have stopped her.
Fifteen
Jack flew down the stairs and flung open the front door to the house in time to see Lily’s car head out the driveway. He quickly grabbed his keys from the bowl at the front door and took off after her. She had a good head start but he knew his more powerful vehicle could catch hers.
Half way to his car Jack hesitated, slowing his steps to a complete stop. He watched her car disappear in the distance before going back up into the house.
Her final words to him battered inside his head, shouting down his silent insistence that she’d been lying to him about their son. About Nathaniel. His gut clenched. When they’d planned their future they’d hypothesised about potential names for the family they’d planned to have together. Nathaniel for a boy, Christina for a girl.
Jack sank onto one of his sofas and hung his head in abject misery.
What the hell had he done? Had it all been for nothing? He looked around at the trappings of his success. The home he’d built as a monument to his success and power in much the same way Charles Fontaine had done further up on the point. None of it would right past wrongs. None of it would bring his father back, nor would it turn back the clock and give his son another chance at life. Not a single dollar would repair the void that existed now between him and the woman he’d loved and lost and now loved again. And yes, he could finally admit to himself he loved her, had probably never stopped loving her. Why else had it felt so right to bring pleasure to her face, to share the things they’d both loved together? To hold her in his arms at night and know a peace he hadn’t experienced in a decade?
It was galling to admit it, but Lily was right on so many levels. The harder he’d been driven to crush Fontaine, the more he’d become like him. Where had the gentleness gone in his life? The compassion? The sense of honour his own father had strived to imbue in his family.
He’d let it all slip away in increments, driven instead by the unhealthy need to conquer, which had become as detrimental to himself as it had been to the man he’d sworn vengeance against. Charles Fontaine had been integral in Bradley Dolan’s death, but Bradley’s reactions to his circumstances had been his own. Emotional? Yes. Ill-considered? Yes. He’d done what he’d done with his heart on his sleeve, as his wife had always teased him. If he’d taken the time to get legal advice, he may have found he was entitled to some restitution, instead he’d acted purely on feelings and they had led to his death.
Finally, Jack could begin to see his father as the man he was without the taint of Fontaine’s influence. And in that he could see himself.
The past was exactly that. Past. It was time to step up to the plate and take responsibility. To look for another solution. A solution that would bring Lily back to his side forever. There’d be no half measures, no fumbles at the starting gate. This time would be for life. If he’d learned anything in the past few weeks, it was how much she still meant to him and how empty his life had been without her—a future without Lily by his side was inconceivable.
He got up and grabbed his laptop, flipping it open and pulling up the information he had on the FonCom loan. His fingers flew over the numeric keyboard as he considered various options until the sun sank below the horizon. Then, finally, he smiled. He had a plan. First, he wanted to see his baby’s final resting place—he needed to close that door on the past before he could move on with an open heart.
Jack flipped open his cell phone and punched in Lily’s number. The phone rang seven times before she answered—her voice sounded thick as if she’d been crying. His heart twisted in the knowledge he’d deliberately caused that pain.
He took a deep breath. “Lily?”
He heard her sigh on the other end before she answered. “What is it, Jack? If you’re not prepared to tell me that you’re going to grant FonCom an extension to trade out of their troubles, you can hang up right now. I will not discuss anything else with you until then. Is that clear?”
She had really toughened up since she’d come home. The old Lily Fontaine would never have stood up to him the way she had a few hours ago or the way she laid it on the line to him now. If anything, he found that one small change in her even more intoxicatingly attractive than before.
“Crystal clear. But before I agree to an extension, I need two things from you.”
“So you’ll agree to an extension?”
“On two conditions.”
“What are they?”
He could hear the trepidation in her voice, sense her shoring up her defences against what he was certain she thought would be demands about the new life she carried.
“One, I need a detailed projection from FonCom’s finance team as to exactly how they’re going to meet the loan obligations. If it realistically looks promising, I’ll consider interest-only payments for a set period. Once that time is up and the company’s not in a position to repay principal as well as interest, I will be forced to foreclose.”
“I’ll let the management team know. No doubt they’ll get back to you. What’s the other condition?” Her tone of voice let out nothing about how she was feeling.
Jack took a deep breath. “I want you to show me Nathaniel’s grave. Tomorrow.”
“I can tell you where it is, surely you don’t—”
“Those are my conditions, Lily. Take them or leave them. Each is dependant on the other.”
“So if I don’t show you?”
“All deals are off the table.”
“Pick me up at FonCom at nine o’clock then.”
She replaced the phone with a sharp click and he was left with the disconnected signal beeping in his ear. He wondered if he’d gone too far this time. Caution never had been his strongest trait. No, when the chips were down and the success of gaining what he wanted hinged on something as intangible as FonCom’s future trading, he couldn’t afford to take any risks. And he wasn’t prepared to risk Lily, or their child, again. For anything.
Lily waited nervously in the foyer of the FonCom building. The early morning meeting with the heads of department had gone extremely well. They’d grasped the tentative lifeline offered by Jack with eager enthusiasm. She had no doubt that without Jack working against them in the background that FonCom would again work its way up to its previous position in the marketplace. Provided they could keep their current development team and put a stop to the unease among the remaining staff, there would be a strong future for all of them.
Her hand fluttered at her belly. Even for this unborn child there could be hope.
Lily saw Jack’s Crossfire pull into the parking lot and she stepped outside to meet him. He’d alighted from the car and had come around to open her door for her. When he bent to kiss her, she turned her head and his lips settled on her cheek. She felt his lips pull into a tight smile.
“Lily.” There was a warning note in his voice that made her look at him.
He immediately took advantage of her attention and pressed his lips against hers, coaxing them apart and tracing their inner softness with the tip of his tongue. Despite her anger at him, she couldn’t hide her body’s reaction to his touch—the flush of colour that swept up her throat—nor could she stop the tiny sound of longing that broke from her as his kiss deepened, demanding a response from her she ached to return. But she wouldn’t give in. Not again. She wrenched her lips from his. As far as she was concerned, they lived on parallel planes, and until he was prepared to come down from his high road of vengeance and power, they’d never find a middle ground
. She pulled back. A small satisfied smile played around his lips.
“You can wipe that smirk off your face, Jack Dolan. You might be able to drag a response from me, but it doesn’t change who and what you’ve become. Don’t think you’ll get around me that easily.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t underestimate you.”
When he handed her into the car, Lily fought to control the flutters of nerves that danced across her spine. It was a good hour’s drive to Auckland. In the close confines of the car, he’d be overwhelming.
“Where to?” he asked as he settled in the seat beside her.
“Purewa Cemetery.”
He nodded in response and put the car in motion. Lily tried to keep her gaze fixed on the scenery as they drove along the peninsula and finally drew onto the state highway that would lead them northward, but her eyes kept being drawn to Jack—to his hands as they competently handled the vehicle, to the length of his legs stretched out beside her, to the dark hair on his head so elegantly styled yet which could look so charming in disarray first thing in the morning.
Her thoughts cascaded in one direction then another as memory after memory of the past few weeks swamped her mind. She tried to push them back under control, but each tiny glimpse of the man she loved stole another piece of her heart as she tried to reconcile the quiet stranger sitting next to her with the lover she knew as intimately as she knew her own body.
His strength and power went way beyond the physical. His determination to get what he wanted at all costs evidenced by his destruction of her father’s dreams. But underneath it all he was still the teenager she’d fallen in love with. The young man she’d pledged to love forever. The father of the child he’d never known. Lily couldn’t help but hope that there was some way to bridge the yawning gap that now lay between them. But she’d learned to be realistic about hopes and dreams. They didn’t always come true in the way you wanted.
By the time the car pulled in through the imposing entrance that marked the driveway to the Purewa Crematorium and Cemetery grounds, her stomach was tied in knots. Fine beads of sweat gathered on her upper lip and a swirl of nausea swept through her body.
Lily put her hand on Jack’s thigh, her fingers tingling at the hard heat that crept through the fine fabric and warmed her skin.
“Can you stop a minute, please?”
Jack gave her a swift glance before pulling in to the small car park at the administration block. He was around the side of the car and pulling open her door in a second and hunkered down next to her.
“You okay?” His sherry-gold eyes reflected none of the anger that had filled them yesterday, and only showed concern and care.
“Just a bit nauseous, that’s all. Do you mind if we just wait a while before continuing?”
“I’ve waited this long. A few more minutes isn’t going to be a problem.” He straightened and rested his hand on the roof of the car. “Can I get you anything? Water? Something to eat?”
“No, truly. I’ll be okay soon.” She took in a deep breath. “There, I’m feeling better already. Shall we continue?”
Jack gave her a sharp nod. Tiny lines bracketed his mouth and he’d grown pale under his tan. It suddenly occurred to Lily how difficult this was for him. To have to come to terms with the truth about Nathaniel.
“It’s beautiful there, in the children’s area. Peaceful.”
He nodded again, and she saw the muscles in his throat work as he swallowed. But still he said nothing. She directed him through the sweeping narrow roadways that wended through the cemetery, leading to the children’s area of the gardens. The silence as the car engine died away was filled with the calls of birds high in the trees and the constant chirping of cicadas all around.
Lily opened her door and got out, Jack did the same. He reached behind the driver’s seat of his car and pulled out something small, concealing whatever it was in the breadth of his hand.
“Show me.”
His words were an undeniable demand, but Lily sensed what this was costing him. His shoulders were a taut line, his spine tall and straight. She beckoned him over to the area where Nathaniel was laid to rest and bent to smooth away a few early falling leaves from the bronze plaque that marked the brief existence of their little boy.
Moisture pricked at her eyes as she read the words on the plaque even though she knew them off by heart.
Nathaniel, beloved son of Jack and Lily.
Always and forever in our hearts.
Jack dropped to one knee beside the tiny grave, his fingers running over the raised lettering before placing a small blue teddy bear on top of the marker. Lily fought to hold back the tears that choked her as she watched his strength crumble. Watched as his shoulders began to shake and his head dropped in unmistakeable grief, his hand across his eyes.
Without thinking, she reached across and wrapped Jack in her arms, holding him as tight to her as she could. Offering, unreservedly, comfort in the storm of his anguish. Jack clung to her like a man drowning, but eventually she felt his breathing begin to calm, and he pulled away from her.
His face was tight, like a mask. Skin stretched over his cheekbones, his lips pressed hard together in a straight line. His eyes filled with lost memories.
“I will always hate your father for what he’s done, Lily. He cheated us both.”
“I know, but he’s my father. He’ll always be my father. We’ve all made terrible mistakes. We have to let go of them or the wrongs rule us and our lives. There’s no future without forgiveness.”
“I can’t forgive him for this.” Jack gestured toward the grave.
“I know.”
“From the time I found out about your pregnancy, all I could think about was someone else was raising our baby. I was so angry—felt so cheated. I would have moved heaven and earth to be with you if I’d have known. You stole that from me by not telling me, Lily. You still had a choice, even after signing the consent form, of letting me know the truth. But you didn’t even do that.”
Lily wrapped her arms tight around her, suddenly cold in the dappled late summer sun. He was right. She should have tried to contact him.
“I know. And I have to live with that. I wanted to call you again, but I lacked the courage. I was so frightened. It was easier to give up. I persuaded myself that Dad had been right, that you didn’t want anything to do with me.” She walked over to a nearby bench seat and sat before continuing. “I still don’t know how Dad found out about the baby—I think one of the staff at the doctor’s surgery must have told him. The day he sent me away, I’d never seen him so angry or so controlled. He told me exactly what was going to happen. I had no choice in the matter. I argued with him. I told him that we were going to be together, that we were in love. But he wouldn’t listen.
“He had a driver waiting to take me to Auckland where he’d arranged for a family to care for me until the baby was born. They looked after me, but on my father’s terms. Dad only came up to see me the once, to get me to sign the adoption consent. After that, he would ring me once a week. I used to beg him for news of you. He refused to talk about you, said you’d moved on with your life and it was time for me to do so, too. Eventually, I convinced myself I’d done the right thing by agreeing to the adoption.
“When Nathaniel was stillborn I couldn’t bear to go back to Onemata. Dad made it easy for me to keep running from my mistakes, feeding me money to keep me overseas, and I let him.”
“It wasn’t all your fault, Lily.”
“No, maybe not. But I perpetuated the lie. I chose to stay away until I virtually self-destructed. I can’t do that anymore.” She stood and walked over to Jack, laying her hand on his chest. “I came home to face my fears—how I felt about you was my biggest. You made me fall in love with you all over again, Jack. And I let you. I wanted to love you with all the passion we had before, and more. I welcomed you into my heart and into my body, and we’ve been given a second chance.
“Losing your father that way was wrong
. What my Dad did to him was wrong. I can see why you did what you did to Dad, to FonCom. But answer me this, Jack. Was it worth it? We’ve all been victim to my father’s manipulation, but there comes a point where we have to move forward, take back control, make a new life. I’m willing to do that with you, if you’re willing to take the risk.”
She reached up and cupped his jaw with her hand. “We had a great love once. We can’t have that same love back, but we can start again. The only way we’ll ever heal is if you let go and forgive. Forgive my father, forgive me, forgive yourself.”
Her words struck deep into the ice that encased his soul, layer by layer peeling away the shrouds of anger and resentment that had driven him to succeed. The bitter aftertaste of revenge lay thick on his tongue.
“You’re right, vengeance hasn’t given me back what I expected or wanted. The only thing that can do that is having you back in my life so we can live those dreams we started. I can forgive you, Lily, and maybe in time I can forgive myself. Your father, that’s going to take some time.” He cupped his hand against her belly. “For years I let the things I hated in life drive me, and yes, I’m successful. But in comparison to this—” he pressed gently against her “—it’s all been for nothing if we don’t have a future together, all of us. I love you, Lily Fontaine. I will always love you. I want to marry you, Lily. Will you be my wife, share my home and my future? Help me be the man you deserve?”
For a minute he was unsure of her response, her eyes remained clouded for an infinitesimal moment before clearing. His heart began to beat faster as she pressed one of her hands over his and with the other drew his face down to hers.
“Nothing in this world would please me more.”
“Can I take that as a yes, then?”
Tycoon's Valentine Vendetta Page 14