by Andrea Ring
But the worst part of this entire situation is the fact that a part of me, a teeny tiny part, feels content. And doesn’t that make me psycho of the year? Finally, I get actual confirmation that someone I love and trust loves me back so much that me in danger stops his heart, and what’s my reaction? I feel loved! Shit! What does that say about my life and my relationships? What does that say about me?
Dr. Rumson is the only person, besides Grandma and Tessa, whom I’d want to live with if something happened to Dad. He’s been my rock. And now, I’m not even sure if I ever want to speak to him again. How can I? I might kill him.
Hell, he might not want to speak to me. I certainly wouldn’t if I were him.
My feet eat up the pavement as I walk, and then I remember my car. I trudge back to the church, start her up, and squeal out of the lot. I wish someone would start following me, ‘cause I could really use a target for my anger right now.
Somehow I end up at Tessa’s. I lean heavily on her front door, thinking about our conversation over the weekend. Here I am to dump on her again.
I knock, and Erica answers.
“Thomas. Hey.”
“Hi, Erica. Is Tessa home yet?”
She glances at her watch. “Probably another hour. You want to come in?”
I nod, and she opens the door wide and ushers me inside.
“You want a Coke?” I shake my head with a small smile, and she laughs. “Right. Soda rots our body from the inside out. How about ice water?”
“Great.”
I slump on a stool at the kitchen island while she fills my glass. I thank her and sip.
“You need to talk about something?” she asks.
I appreciate her approach. She’s rinsing some dishes in the sink, not looking at me at all, giving me an out if I need it.
“You’re a good mom,” I say, but I have no idea where the words come from. “Tessa’s lucky to have you.”
“Thank you,” she says, her hands still busy. “Thinking about your mom today?”
“Not really,” I confess. “Just wondering if I’m missing something. I mean, I know I’m missing something, lots of things, but I’m wondering if that’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault your mom’s gone, Thomas,” she says.
“I know, but relationships in general. I have a couple guy friends, but it’s superficial ‘cause I can’t share anything about my life. I don’t have a mother. I don’t have grandparents who can fulfill their role. I have Tessa, thank God, and I have Dr. Rumson, but that’s it.”
“You have me,” she says quietly. “I feel like you’re one of my own.”
My eyes burn, and I blink hard. “But knowing me might put your family in danger. I can’t…I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to one of you.”
Erica turns off the faucet and faces me. “Life is full of risks. You didn’t ask to be born this way, Thomas. You’re dealing with it. And we’re happy to help any way we can. Please believe that.”
“I do,” I say, staring hard at my water glass. “But the danger is real, Erica. I have to get away. I have to let Tessa go.” I stand, preparing to leave.
“Sit down,” she says.
I stay standing.
“Sit down now!”
Okay, so I sit.
“If you think you can walk out this door without even saying goodbye to her, you’re crazy.”
“But—”
“No buts. I never pegged you for a coward, Thomas.”
“I’m not a coward!” I yell. “I’m just trying to do the right thing!”
“Oh, so the right thing is breaking Tessa’s heart and running away?”
A tear rolls down my cheek. I angrily brush it away before she can spot it.
Erica sits next to me and places her hand on my arm. “Mike…your dad told me everything. He asked me to be your guardian, and I accepted. I’ve weighed the risks, and I decided you’re worth it.”
“What about Ron?” Tessa’s dad works a lot, and she doesn’t see him much, but Erica’s talking as if she made this monumental decision on her own.
Erica sighs. “It’s not an issue.”
“You mean he agreed, just like that?”
She sighs again and stands. “Look, our marriage…Thomas, it’s complicated.”
I nod. I have a ton of questions I want to ask, but the answers aren’t any of my business. I stand up next to her.
“I’ll just go hang out in Tessa’s room. I…thanks, Erica. It means a lot to me.”
She pats my arm and kisses my cheek. I walk to Tessa’s room slowly, my lips split in a grin even though I feel like shit.
***
I fling myself on Tessa’s unmade bed and roll to my back.
I love Tessa’s room—it’s totally her. Not too girly but still feminine, the room has bright orange walls, covered in her paintings. I can spend hours in here examining them, even though I know them all by heart.
I gaze from one to the next, remembering the times she painted them. The one of a gnarled oak, its leaves just beginning to turn yellow, she painted while I worked on the sculpture for the local library. The one under the window, of me in the Thinker’s pose, she painted our first day of high school. I remember how nervous she was the night before, how she’d talked my ear off until two in the morning and I fell asleep in the middle of our one-sided conversation, and when I woke up at seven, I saw the phone was still connected and she was still talking. She claims she fell asleep, too, and called me back the next morning and I mysteriously answered, but I don’t believe her.
On her desk, I notice something new, a pencil drawing I haven’t seen before. I get up, walk to the desk, and pick it up.
Whoa. It’s me holding Tessa, her bent back at the waist and me bending over her. Her hair is flung back, her eyes fluttering shut, her mouth a slack “O” as though she’s taking a breath. My mouth is buried in her neck. Her hands clutch my shoulders.
I sit back on the bed with the drawing. If this isn’t a hint about sex, I don’t know what is.
I hear the front door open and close, and Tessa’s cry of “Mom!”
I quickly replace the drawing on her desk and jump back on her bed. I put my hands underneath my head and force my breathing to slow.
Tessa comes in a few minutes later and throws her backpack to the floor.
“Hey, you,” she says, a smile on her lips.
I prop myself on one elbow and smile back. “Hey.”
She sits on the bed and leans in for a kiss, but I dodge her and stand. “Wait.”
I hold out a hand to her and pull her up. She looks at me quizzically. I press my body to hers and wrap my arms around her. Slowly, I dip her backwards. She places her hands on my shoulders and squeezes. I bend forward and bury my lips in her neck.
“Oh,” she says on a long sigh.
I kiss, I nibble, I suck. I lick my way up her neck until I find her sweet mouth. And I give her a kiss she deserves.
We straighten slowly, and Tessa smiles. “You saw my drawing.”
“How’d I do?”
“Magic,” she whispers, kissing me again.
I laugh against her lips. “I love you, Tessa.”
“I love you, too.”
We touch foreheads, and she hugs me tight. “Something up?”
I shrug. “Tell me about swim practice first. I want to hear about you.”
“Regular day, nothing to report. Tell me.”
I sigh and sit back on the bed. “Do you think…one day…will you marry me?”
Tessa laughs and sits next to me. “Only if you promise to ask me properly again when we’re ready.”
I fall backwards. “Marrying me would be weird, though. Our kids would be like me. Or maybe not, now that I think about it. I could probably manipulate my DNA. I know I could. Never mind. Our kids will be normal.”
“I’d want our kids to be like you,” she says.
“No way. Not if we had a choice. I mean, I could give you exactly wh
at you want. Girl or boy?”
Tessa flops back next me. “I’d want God to decide.”
“God doesn’t decide, Tessa. It’s all about my sperm.”
“I know, but I mean, I wouldn’t want to decide. I’d want nature to take its course.”
“Okay, but I know you want a girl. What if we have three boys first? Wouldn’t you want me to make sure number four is a girl?”
“Nope. If we have four boys, then I’m not meant to have a girl.”
“But there’s not some cosmic force deciding every outcome. There’s not some great plan. It’s all chance.”
“Thomas, you can do so many things…this is something I never even thought about, manipulating our future children. I know you can do good things, but this just seems wrong.”
“Why?” I insist.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Don’t you think there could be consequences?”
“Sure, if it were done on a large enough scale, like the ratio of females to males could become unbalanced. But we’re talking about a few kids, not the entire planet.”
Tessa stares at me. “Arrogance alert, Thomas. You are not God.”
“I know. I know how it sounds. But God gave me these abilities. Surely I’m supposed to exercise them.”
“To a point. There’s a time and a place for everything. You shouldn’t do something just because you can.”
I study my hands and pick at a hangnail on my thumb. “I healed Dr. Rumson today.”
Tessa raises her eyebrows at me. “He cut himself?”
“No. He had a heart attack right in front of me.”
She gasps and opens her mouth, but no words come out.
“He stopped breathing. His heart stopped beating. The whole deal.”
Tessa leaps to her feet. “Food. You need food.”
“I ate,” I say while she stares at me.
“You…you’re probably gonna crash. Maybe I should call your dad to pick you up.”
“Don’t you want to hear if Dr. Rumson’s alright?”
“If you healed him, I know he’s okay. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“I’m fine.”
“Let me call—”
“No. Just…will you lie with me, Tessa? Just for a few minutes?”
Tessa’s eyes soften. She slips her shoes off and snuggles up next to me.
“You want to talk about it?” she asks.
“Later,” I whisper, my two-ton eyelids slamming shut. “Wake me in an hour.”
If Tessa replies, I’m too sleepy to hear it.
Chapter Ten
I wake up and all is dark. I’m alone in Tessa’s bed, my Converse still on my feet.
I sit up and stretch. Physically, I feel refreshed, but there’s too much on my mind to feel energized.
I take my phone out of my pocket and check the time: 9:00 at night. Longer than the hour I was hoping for, but still, not too bad considering the work I did today.
I walk towards the kitchen, and I can hear Erica talking before I get there.
“You’re welcome to ask her, but she won’t tell you anything,” she says.
“Loyal ’til the last,” I hear my dad say. “I admit it’s noble, but she has to realize what’s at stake.”
“I’m not going to insist, Mike, unless Thomas is in danger. He’ll tell you himself when he wakes.”
My heart stutters, hearing them talk about Tessa. She kept my secret. God, what did I do to deserve such unswerving devotion?
I round the corner and enter the kitchen.
“I’m back in the land of the living,” I announce. “Haven’t slept well for a week. Guess it caught up with me.” My insides squirm as I utter the lie that isn’t really a lie, but more of a half-truth.
“Really?” Dad says. “You needed thirty hours of sleep just to catch up?”
I gulp. “Thirty hours?”
Erica smiles at me. “You came over yesterday afternoon. I called your dad after you fell asleep.”
I blow out a breath and stuff my hands in my front pockets. “Shit. Thanks.”
“Yeah, shit,” Dad says. “What the hell happened?”
“I…it’s a long story, quite boring actually, I’m sure you’re eager to get to bed—”
“If you lapse into that bullshit geek speak, I’ll throttle you. Tell me what happened.”
I roll my neck a few times, working up my courage. “Fine. Dr. Rumson had a heart attack,” I say. “He died. I had to.”
Dad curses under his breath and stands. He hugs me hard. “Do a scan,” he says.
“When we get home,” I say.
He shakes me. “Now. Do it now.”
“Fine.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel inside my body, starting from the top down.
“Brain’s fine…heart’s good…blood’s good, low on iron…major organs fine…extremities fine…a little dehydrated…vitamin C will help…hormones are, uh, fine…” I open my eyes and look at my hand. I cannot tell that I’d slashed it open yesterday.
“That’s it?” Dad asks. “You’re sure?”
“Fat cells depleted, but not as much as you’d think.”
“How much?”
“Oh…two, two and a quarter pounds.”
Dad nods, obviously thinking. “And you ate yesterday?”
“Five slices of pizza, maybe thirty wings, three sixteen-ounce bottles of water.”
Erica sets a glass of water in front of me and I take it gratefully.
Dad gathers his keys from the counter. “We’ll talk at home. Thanks, Erica. Thank you so much for helping.”
“Of course.”
They exchange a brief hug, and Dad heads to the door.
“Is Tessa here?” I ask.
Erica shakes her head. “She’s running an errand.”
I smile. “She didn’t want Dad to pound on her.” I throw back the entire glass of water in one long gulp. “Tell her I’ll call her later.”
***
Dad insists on leaving my car here and him driving. I don’t even think about arguing with him.
“Dr. Rumson is fine, thanks for asking,” I say when we get in the car. And then I mentally slap myself—why I am provoking the beast?
Dad’s jaw tightens. “I called him after Erica called me. Took him a while to get back to me, but he told me what happened.”
“Oh,” I say. “So…is he feeling okay?”
Dad cracks a wisp of a smile. “You just told me he’s fine.”
“Fine,” I say. “I know he’s fine. But is he…fine?”
“Yes, Thomas. Dr. Rumson is fine.”
“What did he say?”
Dad glances at me. “He managed to stay awake long enough to leave Mary Kate a note and to go home. He slept about twenty-four hours. Woke up ten pounds lighter and feeling like he could run a marathon.”
My lips automatically curve into a smile. “Really?”
Dad’s hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Thomas, you did a good thing.”
I don’t reply.
“A damn good thing!” he yells, thumping a fist. “It’s just…I wish there were an easier way to get around it.”
“Around what?”
“You could walk into the Attic right now and solve every research dilemma we have.” Dad pulls into our driveway and shuts off the ignition. “But you’re too vulnerable. You’re a billion-dollar prize. You have to learn to protect yourself, and you have to do it now.”
I stare at Dad’s profile. “So you want me to take karate lessons?”
Dad blows out a breath and laughs. “This isn’t a movie. We’ll take normal precautions to ensure you’re safe, but I’m thinking about the side effects of your abilities. Right now, your own body is your worst enemy.”
I sigh. “You mean the way I fell asleep for thirty hours. It makes me vulnerable.”
“Yep.”
“That would be useful to combat.”
“And the way you burn up calories. You’r
e basically cannibalizing yourself.”
“All of us have that problem, though, right?”
Dad smiles. “On a much smaller scale. You’re the only one healing other people, and because you’re so fast, the consequences are greater. You need to get a handle on it before your heart stops again.”
I hang my head. “Okay. I concede. I need to work on this stuff.”
“I know,” Dad says. “Find that lab. The sooner, the better.”
Chapter Eleven
I tell myself to leave Dr. Rumson alone and let him heal. But his text messages have been increasingly difficult to ignore.
Thomas, call me immediately.
You did nothing wrong.
I feel great. Please. I need to talk to you.
Don’t do this. Don’t throw away our friendship.
You’re giving me a heart attack right now, you idiot.
How can you ignore it when someone calls you an idiot?
So on Saturday morning I get in my Explorer and drive the few blocks over to St. Paul’s Church.
“Thank God you’re here,” Mary Kate says when I enter. “Something’s wrong.”
“Wrong?” I say, adrenaline already kicking in.
“Look for yourself,” she says.
I knock twice and step into his office without waiting for an invitation. Dr. Rumson is standing on his rolling chair, precariously balanced on his toes, dusting the top of one of his bookshelves.
“Hey,” I say.
“Thomas,” he says on a sigh, and he hops down off the chair with the agility of someone half his age and throws his arms around me. “Don’t ever do that again, do you hear me?” He grips tighter. “Ever!”
I hug him back a bit reluctantly, but it’s impossible to resist a sincere hug. “I’m sorry,” I say, squeezing tight.
He releases me and nods. “Me, too.”
I sit on the couch while he bustles around. He has several open boxes on the floor, piles of books, and a host of rags and cleaning supplies.
“Spring cleaning?” I ask.