“I hope you do not mind, Lady Formsby, Lady Katherine-I should like a word with Miss Ware regarding the completion of her portrait. There are some tedious artistic details to be gone over. May we excuse ourselves for a few minutes?” He was indicating the terrace. Clutching her glass of lemonade, Marian glanced at her aunt in alarm. But Edith looked complaisant. And Katie, assured in her impending triumph, simply smiled benignly.
Marian rose stiffly. Placing her drink aside, she preceded Sidley out the door. The terrace provided little enough privacy, yet he seemed determined to make the most of any available distance. He walked to the stone balusters and rail along its farthest edge and stood with his back to the drawing-room door.
“I know you are still very angry, Miss Ware,” he said calmly. “And I know you believe yourself angry with cause. But I should like you to listen to me” He looked at the garden below as he spoke. “I ask for your fairness. If nothing else you owe it to your cousins, whose house this is, and who are my hosts” His brief glance at her was a challenge. Marian looked quickly back over her shoulder toward the drawing room’s dim interior, but Sidley soon commanded her attention.
“First, I must set your mind at ease. I have no inten tion of offering for Lady Katherine. She may believe she wants an offer from me-in certain quarters an offer may be expected. I know it is the dearest wish of my aunt. Perhaps it is Lady Formsby’s as well-I do not know. But much as I esteem your cousin, I also know we should not suit. And it is abundantly clear that Lady Katherine’s heart is not at risk. I shall endeavor to prove this to her in the kindest way possible over the coming week. I would never dishonor her; you need not defend her from my dreaded ‘manipulations.”’ When she would have spoken, the mere lift of his eyebrows stopped her.
“Second, of all of which you accused me last week, Miss Ware, you charged me perhaps most profoundly with deceiving my aunt. Let me assure you that Lady Adeline has always known of the precise state of my health, even when I myself was conscious of nothing.” His blue gaze briefly flashed at her. “‘Tis true I ceased to counter the widespread speculations regarding my illness. Exaggerations of the nature of my indisposition were rife, Miss Ware. You, who have little knowledge of the ton’s obsessions, may not fully appreciate how tenacious false rumors become. For many weeks I was unable even to attempt to deny them, and then once I was able, my efforts proved not only ineffective but strangely counter to my purpose. At times I thought many wished me dead for the sheer entertainment of it. After some weeks I elected to let the situation work to my advantage. You will consider such a decision beneath me” He turned briefly again to look at her but quickly turned back. “I can only plead that everyone is due a holiday at some time. I determined to take mine, gratis, when it seemed unlikely to hurt anyone. That it has caused you distress is a rebuke to me. I apologize for it.”
He sighed. “Perhaps, had you been wiser in the ways of the ton, you would not have invested me with such lofty qualities. You are a truthful person, a person of integrity. You accuse me of lying to you and to others. I say only that I did not pose with any intention of harm. Did I gain sympathy and attention I would not otherwise have had? Perhaps. But the sheer weight of speculation had already brought me such; I did not seek it. And in your case”-again he looked at her-“in your case, Miss Ware, I found I sought your company and knew of no gentlemanly way to obtain it.”
Marian was having difficulty keeping her gaze from his face. He was freshly shaven, free of powder. He still looked pale without it, but he also looked superb. She had always thought he looked so.
“You should not have sought my company,” she managed.
“That I could not control” He smiled. As they heard Katie’s laughter from the room behind them, he propped himself against the stone rail and faced Marian. “I am no longer a youngster, Miss Ware. I told you at Aldersham how I must wed shortly. And now, having failed with my most likely prospects, I must begin anew.”
She tilted her chin. “That cannot be such a trial for you, my lord.”
“Perhaps you yourself are so satisfactorily settled that you cannot summon the least bit of sympathy” His gaze held hers for a moment. Then he smiled. “I do not mean to boast, when I tell you that I am apparently considered a frighteningly eligible parti. If you cannot sympathize, perhaps you might still spare some understanding? ‘Twas the thought of freeing myself from the weight of so much expectation that furthered my ruse. You shall no doubt hear, now that I am returned to the living, how briefly my bachelor existence endures.”
“It is a shame that you lost Miss TinckneyDwight. You seemed very-congenial.”
Again his fine eyebrows rose. “You are most presumptuous, Miss Ware. Miss Delia has chosen the better man. I believe she found me too serious, much too somber. My mind was often elsewhere”
She felt his attention to her face. She focused on the garden, which she had observed closely on a regular basis. She had painted it often; the thought prompted her question.
“What of your-what of your portrait, Lord Sidley? Did you truly wish to discuss it?” She thought he sighed.
“I should like you to finish it, if you can force yourself to do so. My aunt likes it exceedingly. And I believe it is turning out well enough.”
Well enough? She eyed him. “Where is it?” she asked.
“I had it brought to town. I might send it on to you here if you are so inclined. And if you feel you might work on it away from Aldersham. I had hoped to complete the project this season”
“I needn’t work at Aldersham. But I might … need you, my lord-”
“Why, Miss Ware! How charming”
“Very briefly,” she finished, with an impatient gesture of one hand. “My aunt should not mind if I work here just once in the drawing room.”
“I shall be on my best behavior.”
“Was there anything else, Lord Sidley?” She could tell he did not much care for her clipped tone, but she was conscious of the time they had spent in private conversation. Such time alone was the last thing she had wanted, and her anxiety mounted.
“Only that Miss Poole will be visiting with us when my aunt returns to town. Clara asked to be remembered to you and wondered if she might call on you”
“But, of course! I would be delighted. I enjoy her company.”
“This is, naturally, dependent on your own schedule. When does Lieutenant Reeves arrive?”
The question seemed abrupt. She did not think of William’s arrival; she had quite pointedly not thought of it.
“Within the week, I believe. Though he may not come here to me in town. I expect he intends to travel on to Brinford, where I shall … I shall join him.”
“Then we must take care not to waste your limited time.” He straightened and turned to her. “You have found my behavior wanting on more than one occasion. I believe I have also failed to offer you proper felicitations on your betrothal. I hope you will forgive me for the oversight. ‘Twas yet more evidence of what you rightly termed my `outrageous conceit.”’ His smile was rueful. “I do wish you happy”
“Thank you, my lord” She felt wretched. She struggled to find a distraction. “Where is Lord Vaughn?”
“Vaughn stopped at his estate in Surrey. The place required his attention. But he will be back shortly”
“I thought him your shadow,” she said, and tried to force a smile.
“Perhaps I am his.” At her silence he added, “We are great friends. Which reminds me. There is one other matter that has concerned me. I believe I might be of aid-”
“Lord Sidley?” Katie called. She pouted as she stood in the doorway. “Lord Benjamin has told us you have had nothing whatever to eat today! Will you not take some refreshment?”
“We come at once, my lady,” he said. He placed his gloved hand lightly beneath Marian’s elbow to escort her the short distance back across the flagstone; Marian felt his clasp every step of the way.
He stayed only a few minutes longer, to sample a bisc
uit Katherine pressed upon him and to commend Edgar’s purchase of a dappled gray saddle horse. And when he and Lord Benjamin departed, Marian was left more restive than ever.
Lord Sidley had made a miraculous recovery. No fewer than three respected physicians, none of whom had examined his lordship, commented publicly on the extraordinary nature of the case. Every aspect of Lord Sidley’s routine-his diet, his exercise, his habits-was scrutinized minutely for keys to his reversal. The slavish, pitying attention that had followed his projected doom now seemed equally enthralled with his inexplicable improvement.
Such an energetic round of dances, dinners, and romps had heralded Sidley’s return to the living that he began during the week to feel himself in some danger of a relapse. So it was that before accompanying his aunt to the theater one fine June evening, he sat discussing his affairs with Vaughn.
“I have arranged to visit the Formsbys,” Sidley said, “to let Miss Ware finish up my portrait. You would be proud of me, my friend, for I have not seen Miss Ware these past three days. I am leaving her to her sailor.”
Vaughn eyed him. “Shall I commend you for what should not have taken effort?” he asked.
“Yes, devil it! Because it did take effort! And more, besides. I have not been able to avoid Lady Katherine, who still flings herself about, enjoying the last faint flutters of the season. The girl will drive me into an early grave.”
“An irony there, certainly. But I hear you have introduced her to young Lord Carroll. There is some speculation that she is taken with the fellow.”
“A boyish, empty-headed Adonis! Yet even as a mere baron, he must trump a lame and elderly earl. I believe she is enchanted with his dancing and driving skills, as well as his golden curls. I have tried hard to withhold my distaste for Carroll, Vaughn, given that ‘twas he and Mopes who came closest to actually killing me with their mad curricle race” He grimaced. “I’m reminded that whilst we toured Iberia, these young blades were spending their families’ fortunes on gaming and horses. Still, I suppose I must grant that they gained a certain prowess.”
“You are not yet so aged, Sidley, that you could not best them at the ribbons.”
“I’ve no wish to. Let them saddle themselves with the Becca Harveys and Lady Katherines. I’ve no taste for gambling with life when I needn’t.”
“Which leaves you with just whom for a countess, my friend? You still mean to satisfy your aunt?”
Sidley gazed thoughtfully at his brandy. “I think I must discuss with Lady Adeline the possibility of approaching a widow, or someone distinctly on the shelf. I am in the mood to be treated with gratitude, as a bit of a savior. ‘Twould be balm to the wounds to have someone appreciate my attentions. These young diamonds have no sense of what is due me”
Vaughn laughed. “Meek gratitude would satisfy you all of ten minutes, Sidley. You do not understand yourself”
“That is not the case. I simply cannot have what I wish.”
Vaughn looked contemplatively up at the painting over the mantel. The Constable, purchased by Sidley’s father just before his younger son’s departure for the war, depicted a simple country scene-little more than an English river, an English cottage, and several sturdy English oaks. Yet Sidley knew it so intimately that he had been able to describe it in detail, and frequently, to Vaughn as they traversed the Peninsula.
“I heard that the lieutenant’s ship, the Perseus, docked at Portsmouth yesterday,” Vaughn said.
“Did it?” Sidley checked the first wild leap of his blood-the very desire to prove himself, to fight and to win, that made such fools of the youngsters. “Then tomorrow is not soon enough to have my portrait finished. Miss Ware shall not be Miss Ware much longer.”
“You must grant that hers is a practical decision, Sidley. Sensible young women do not toss aside solid prospects to be favored for a few weeks by their betters”
Sidley scowled. “You think me so lacking in honor?”
“I think you are not yourself. I think you are not thinking.”
Again Sidley idly swirled the untouched brandy in his glass. “Miss Ware wishes to paint Jenny Knox,” he said abruptly, and he watched Vaughn blanch. “Yes, I thought so,” he added. “This is not a matter of thinking, Vaughn, but of feeling. All of us must, apparently, play our prescribed parts. But I cannot deceive myself that the outcomes are in any regard optimal. Decidedly not” Placing the snifter to the side, he rose to his feet. “Some days ago she sent me a watercolor sketch. Though she claims she drew it up as a preliminary, I suspect she must have worked on it as something quite apart” He walked to a bureau and, opening an upper drawer, carefully removed a tissue-wrapped sheet of thick paper. Uncovering it, he held it up for Vaughn’s inspection.
Vaughn regarded it for a long moment, then said frankly, “You told me she painted with the best. I affirm it.”
Sidley’s smile was humorless. “‘Twas done with some affection, would you not say so, Vaughn?”
“I imagine she paints what she feels, which lends the piece its power. But you must still interpret. And what has changed? Even if she does return your sentiments, you would have her break her promise to a man who has been at sea these past two years?”
“Worse things have happened,” Sidley said intently. “What must an engagement be, after all? ‘Tis meant to be short of a marriage.”
“But not, perhaps, as flexible as you would wish it. We’ve discussed this before.”
Sidley sighed. “You do know, Vaughn, that this is insupportable.”
“But you shall bear it.”
“Yes,” he said with resignation. And having to some degree at last reached that state of acceptance, and hearing Lady Adeline and Miss Poole in the hall, the two men departed in considerable melancholy for the evening’s effort at entertainment.
With some uneasiness Marian set up her easel in one of the Formsbys’ drawing rooms. The afternoon was bright, but her spirits were dim. She suspected this would be the last time she would paint Lord Sidley, and she greeted the prospect with both expectation and sadness. Forwarding the watercolor portrait to him had been as close as she dared come to confessing her feelings, but she had heard nothing from him in response, which she admitted to herself was all for the best. Perhaps he had concluded only that she wished to finish with all things Sidley; perhaps what had seemed so obvious to her had not conveyed clearly to him. Indeed, she had been of two minds whether to part with the token at all. The watercolor had not been what she determined he wanted in a formal portrait-she had sketched him quickly, standing in the library at Aldersham and looking rather soberly out at the garden. She had drawn him that first day, when he had worn his black coat and she debated how best to pose him. But she had captured some part of him in that portrait, something fresh and intimate, that had so far eluded her in the larger oil. If she could identify the difference today, she knew her work would be all the better for it.
“Lord Sidley, miss,” Jenks announced, with Sidley at his heels.
“My lord.”
“Miss Ware”
Two footmen guarded the open door to the drawing room. Marian noted them absently as she looked to Sidley. She thought he looked less than pleased to be present.
“My aunt and Lady Katherine should be back shortly, my lord. They have gone shopping. I hope you do not mind if we begin?”
“I am at your command.”
She had him take a seat with the light from the terrace window to the side. It was afternoon light and not as clear here in the city as it had been in Kent. But Marian’s effort today was to check Sidley’s features and to unify the values of his hair, complexion, and coat. For the rest, she still remembered Aldersham. She could recall the feel of a morning there from memory.
“The town is full of news of your recovery, my lord,” she said.
“That is only a slight exaggeration, Miss Ware, as the visits of the Russian tsar and king of Prussia have drawn some middling attention for weeks. As has word of the abdication of a fo
rmer emperor-what the devil was his name? Ah, I see that you smile about it now. Does that mean you have forgiven me?”
“It should not matter what I think, my-”
“But it does”
“Then yes,” she said, purposely hiding behind the canvas. “I have forgiven you.”
“I am most grateful for that. And grateful as well for the watercolor, which is splendid. With your permission I shall have it framed”
“The sketch is yours to do with as you please. I fear you may be happier with it than with this oil. For I cannot get it right …”
“I have no objection to continuing our sessions. But I forget-you are shortly to leave us. I understand that Lieutenant Reeves’s ship has docked at Portsmouth”
Then you know more than I, Marian thought silently. She fought the slight tremor in her hand and kept painting.
“I must thank you, my lord, for directing Lord Carroll to Katie. No, do not shake your head. I know that you did so. I believe she goes driving with Carroll in the park later this afternoon. You have set my mind at ease”
“You may not thank me should she develop a tendre for Carroll, though he is better than many”
“Katie is, thankfully, not ready to give her heart. And as she is in the enviable position of not needing to marry, she has chosen to enjoy every aspect of the season”
“I am well aware of that. I am exhausted”
Marian laughed. She tried to concentrate on the painting before her. But she had just then realized why she faced a difficulty with the oil that she had not with the watercolor sketch. She had painted the earlier piece knowing that she found Lord Sidley attractive, that she liked him, and that she regretted his ill health and imminent loss. She had painted with feeling, but she had not recognized just how deep her feelings ran.
She struggled to focus. Having asked him here, she could not very well abandon the session.
“You have a delightful laugh,” Sidley said, drawing her attention to his eyes. She believed he must read her thoughts on her face. “Although I cannot claim it is reassuring to have the artist laugh while recording one’s likeness.”
Lord Sidley's Last Season Page 13