by Tony Hawks
3 This comment only makes sense if you are familiar with this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_a_Minute
4 Listen here: www.tony-hawks.com and click on Once Upon A Time in the West Country.
Chapter 17
1 That’s how I describe it. Brother Tom would have supplied a tad more detail.
2 Actually it wasn’t sheepishly. Sheep have the good sense not to drive tractors. It’s about the only sensible thing they do. Or rather don’t do.
Chapter 18
1 Always thinking of the environment. It’s well-known that pan pipes can be recycled into . . . well, more pan pipes.
2 There was a picture of me, too. It was slightly behind Titch’s, because it must have got knocked.
3 This is because the baby is pressing down on the bowels. It’s worth noting that, generally speaking, wanting a poo is not a sign that significant events are about to take place. (Although I believe Neville Chamberlain wanted a poo when he declared war on Germany.)
4 I’ve had these at the dentist and I’m a fan of anaesthetics that are administered locally. They’re so much better than the ones that are administered twenty miles away.
5 All that research hadn’t been wasted.
Epilogue
1 We’ll have that sorted by the time of the sequel.
2 It seems we live in a culture that supports the notion that boys like blue and girls like pink. If you don’t believe me, go out and try to buy a pink card for a male newborn. If you’re lucky, you might find one in Brighton.
3 Yes, I know – only a man could describe birth thus.