by Becky Monson
Not only that, I’ve been exercising more. The doctor told me the best thing you can do for anxiety is to get exercise. I scoffed at first, of course. I may be a lot of things, but athletic isn’t one of them. I have to admit getting outside does help my soul, as cheesy as that sounds.
Things at the bakery are going well. I’ve relinquished so many of my duties and let Kate take the reins, and Patti and Debbie don’t seem to mind. I think they’re just glad to have her back. Kate has stepped on my toes a couple of times, but each time I let her know (kindly, of course) and she quickly fixes it. I’m like totally using adult communication here. I’m so proud of myself.
I hear the jingle of the bells from the door to the bakery opening. I have my back to the entrance while I wolf down this triple chocolate brownie of which dreams are made from.
“Hello Julia,” Bobby says to my back and I nearly choke on the last bite of brownie. I was not expecting her.
I quickly wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and then turn around. “Hi Bobby,” I say, trying not to open my mouth too wide for fear there is chocolate all over my teeth.
“Can I have a quick word?” She asks, and then her mouth goes into a thin straight line.
Dear mother of all things crappy, what have I done now? Please don’t let her have found out about Jared and I eloping.
“Sure,” I say.
She takes a seat at a table and places her purse in her lap. So I guess we have to sit down for this discussion. Even lovelier. I open the door to the kitchen and ask Debbie if she can man the front for a minute and then walk over to the table to take a seat across from Bobby. The chocolate brownie is suddenly feeling like a huge rock in my stomach as my belly swirls with nerves.
“What can I do for you?” I ask Bobby, hopeful that this isn’t the same scenario as the last time she visited me at the bakery.
“Did you tell Lisa that you hated roses?” she says, getting right to her point.
Oh em gee, that’s it. I’m actually going to have to kill Lisa. Or have Lia put a spell on her. I mean how much havoc can one person wreak on my life? I do enough damage to myself; I don’t need the help.
“No,” I say emphatically. “I never said that.”
Bobby looks down at her purse in her lap and I’m having serious bouts of déjà vu. Although it’s not déjà vu at all. I’ve literally been in this exact same situation not all that long ago.
“Well she told me that you said that you hated roses and that you didn’t know why I was making you have them at the wedding.”
I wrack my brain trying to think of what I actually said because obviously words were twisted here. I can’t even recall the conversation. It probably wasn’t even with Lisa. She probably just overheard me talking, that little snitch. I guess I’ll have to do the only thing I can do here: be honest.
“I don’t hate roses,” I tell Bobby. “They’re just not my favorite.”
“Well why didn’t you say something, then?” she asks, her brow furrowed.
“Because I don’t really care that much,” I say.
“So you don’t care about your wedding,” she says, oozing aggravation.
“No! I mean,” I pause trying to think of what I mean. “I just mean that I don’t mind the flowers we have. Besides, it’s all set. We only have two weeks until the wedding, so it doesn’t matter. We can’t change anything.”
Gah! I’m terrible at wording things.
“You know, if you’d just say something, you wouldn’t have to settle for something you don’t like,” she says, not quite as huffy as before.
“I don’t say anything because, well, I feel like this is your wedding too,” I say.
“What do you mean?”
“You only have sons, so you’ll never get the chance to plan a wedding. I want this wedding to be about you, too.”
She sits for a moment and I wonder what she’s thinking about.
“That’s really sweet,” she says, her eyes looking a little watery.
“Anyway, I thought you weren’t going to listen to Lisa anymore,” I say, wishing once again that Mark would just break up with her already.
“Oh,” she purses her lips together briefly. “I don’t know why I let that girl get under my skin.”
“You’re not alone,” I say, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.
We sit in not-so-comfortable silence for a moment.
“What happened to make you dislike her so much? I mean, besides the obvious reasons,” I ask, feeling like this is the perfect time for her to finally tell me.
She sighs. “I caught her cheating on Jared,” she says.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting that.
“You caught her cheating? How?” I ask. I mean, that’s really random. Your boyfriend’s mom catches you cheating on said boyfriend?
She sighs again. “It was just one of those wrong place, wrong time moments for Lisa. And right place, right time for me.”
I nod my head, trying to get her to give me a little more information than that.
“I was out to dinner with a friend, and we just happened to try a new restaurant we’d never been to before. It was across town. I don’t think I’d ever been in that area of town before, actually. Anyway, the restaurant had tall, secluded booths curtained off throughout, and my friend and I thought it’d be kind of fun. We could gossip and no one would hear us.”
She looks up at me and I nod for her to continue.
“Anyway, so we’re enjoying our dinner and enjoying the seclusion of it all, but we could hear some … uh … things going on in the booth next to us.”
“Oh, gosh,” I say, trying not to conjure up all the “things” she could’ve been hearing.
“I felt like I should complain to the manager or something. But as I got up to do so, the person in the booth next to me was exiting her booth as well. So imagine my surprise when I come face to face with Lisa.”
My eyes bug out of my head, even though I was pretty sure who that person would be.
“I, of course, assume she’s with Jared and being completely disappointed in him, I tear open the curtains, only to find someone else. Lisa begged me not to tell him and that it was a huge mistake and gave me all of those excuses everyone seems to use when they get caught cheating.”
“Wow,” is all I can say.
“So then I tell her that she’d better break up with Jared or I was going to tell him myself. And so she did. She broke off that ridiculous engagement, but she used some excuse like they’d grown apart or something. I never told Jared that I caught her cheating.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?” I’d think that if it were my son, I would want him to know.
“I didn’t want to break his heart. I didn’t see the point of it. Lisa was out of our lives, and from the looks of it, Jared seemed kind of relieved that it was over. So I never said anything. But then she waltzes in with Mark, and I keep hoping he’ll move on from her like he does all the rest, but he seems completely taken with her. And her with him.”
“Aren’t you worried she’ll cheat on Mark?” I ask.
She shrugs, “It would probably serve him right if she did. But no. She looks at Mark in a completely different way than she ever did with Jared. I hate to say it, but I think they might actually work out.”
So Lisa was a cheater … on my poor Jared. I mean, I’m truly grateful she did or I probably wouldn’t be sitting here with Bobby. But still, how terrible. I wish I could say it was totally shocking, but after all the crap she’s put me through, it’s not.
It looks like I need to give up on my prayers that they’ll break up before the wedding. Bummer.
CH
APTER 30
I can’t think of a time that I’ve laughed this hard.
Honestly, my stomach actually hurts from laughing. And there’s not an ounce of alcohol involved either. I’m in a hotel room playing “Would You Rather” with Anna and Brown. Brown has just announced that she wou
ld choose eating Brussels sprouts for the rest of her life rather than having everyone one else in the world laugh like Fran Drescher. I think I’d choose the same. But then that got us on a tangent of trying to do that terrible nasally laugh that Fran Drescher does, and it’s hilarious. It also might be one of those things where we’re laughing so much and it’s getting late, so everything sounds funny. If anyone else were to walk in right now, I doubt they’d find it as hilarious as we do.
Anna and Brown respected my wishes and planned my bachelorette party just the way I wanted it. Only the three of us, eating a bunch of junk food and hanging out in a posh hotel. We’re in a junior suite at the Hotel Monaco and it’s stunning with its bright colors and modern furniture. This was one of the venues that Anna had taken me to for the reception and now I’m wondering why I didn’t pick it. It’s gorgeous.
It’s been the bachelorette party of my dreams, really. We made a pact not to talk too much about the wedding and simply have fun. The only thing I did do was read my vows to them. Yes, I was finally able to write them. Anna said they “didn’t totally suck” (I’m pretty sure she was kidding—I hope), and Brown—being Brown—had me reword a few things that didn’t make much difference in the end. All I care about is that they’re done and passable.
“I’m exhausted,” Brown announces while eating out of a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. I think this baby only craves sugar because that’s all she seems to be eating. I’ve seen Brown eat more sugar in the past five weeks than I have in all the years I’ve known her.
“Me too,” I agree, yawning.
“You two are so old,” Anna says, looking at the clock in the room. It’s only eleven thirty.
“Yes, well, I’m trying to grow kidneys right now,” Brown says, patting her belly. That’s her excuse for everything these days. She must read online about every milestone her baby is making because she always knows what’s happening with its growth. “I’m growing a spine.” “I’m growing a liver.” “I’m growing fingers.” Sometimes it’s like she’s the only pregnant person that ever existed.
It’s not getting on my nerves—I love it. It’s definitely getting on Anna’s, but I think that’s more because she’s jealous. I don’t have any desire to be pregnant right now. I can barely handle my life as it is.
“I can’t believe it’s only a week until the wedding,” Anna says, laying her head back on the bed we’ve been sitting on. “Can you believe you’ll be a married woman in a week, Julia?”
Brown gives me a raised eyebrow that only I catch. I do feel terribly guilty not telling Anna. Her and Brown are my best friends, and it feels like a betrayal on so many levels.
But what’s done is done. And frankly, I’m a little proud of myself for not spilling the beans. Every week that passes seems to get easier and easier. Plus there’s the fact that even though Jared and I are married, we haven’t been able to be a married couple at all. His mom’s house is nearly ready and it looks like she’ll be staying with Jared right up until the wedding. And I’m still in my parents’ basement.
“I don’t know if I’ve said it enough, but thank you for all of your work on the wedding, Anna,” I say, feeling suddenly sentimental. I mean, this wedding would’ve been a total disaster without her, and I can say this with complete confidence.
“Yes, well you’ve been terrible to work with,” she says with a smirk. But then the smirk turns into a tiny smile. She’s teasing me, but she’s only half joking. I totally understand. I probably have been terrible to work with. Not that she’s been a walk in the park, either. I’m not going to go there right now, though.
“I know,” I say with a sigh. “I’m trying to be better.”
“I’ve noticed that in the past few weeks you’ve seemed to calm down,” she says.
“Must be the drugs,” I say. I’m not discounting the anxiety medication I’m on; I’m sure that’s helping. I know it is, actually. But I do think eloping with Jared has given the big wedding less importance and now I don’t feel so scared of it.
“Well I haven’t done much for this wedding, but I’m going to take credit for getting you and Jared together in the first place,” Brown says, and then spoons some more ice cream into her mouth.
“Uh, I think I can take some credit there, too,” Anna says, looking almost defensive.
“I’m pretty sure you both can take credit there,” I say. It’s true, if it weren’t for Anna and Brown, I’m quite confident my neurosis would’ve either ruined things before they started, or killed it soon after. I’m a victim of my own brain sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. But I’m learning to handle it.
I guess I have Jared to thank for bringing me closer to both Anna and Brown. Until he came into my life, Brown and I were only work friends taking smoke breaks (well, Brown was doing the smoking) and going to the odd lunch now and then. Now she’s an essential part of my life. A true best friend.
Anna and I were barely sisters up until Jared came into the picture. If it weren’t for all the shopping and makeover things we did together, I don’t know if Anna and I would be as close as we are today. She’s now my sister and my confidant. We may show it differently than other siblings, but we love each other. More now than ever.
Without even knowing it, Jared gave me my life back. I’d hope that I would’ve eventually found it myself somehow. But who knows. Things worked out how they were supposed to. I’m totally confident of that.
CHA
PTER 31
Well we made it. It’s finally time for the big wedding. Everything appears to be going well. No one is running around frantic. Even Anna seems calm. It’s like now that the pressure of the perfect day is no longer an issue for me, it’s affecting everyone. The flowers showed up on time, the minister is here and ready to go (and not high). A clear traffic pattern has everyone arriving on time. We could possibly start the ceremony when we’re supposed to, which is unheard of.
There’s just one itty-bitty problem. I’ve been throwing up all morning. I’m no doctor or anything, but I’m fairly confident I have the stomach flu.
That was not a twist I was expecting, nor had I factored this one in. You got me again, karma.
Presently, I’m leaning over a toilet, after Anna made me try some soda crackers and Sprite to help calm my stomach. It worked for about ten minutes before it all came up.
Honestly, I’d lie on this bathroom floor all day if I could. I’m in a robe and my hair is up with a scarf wrapped carefully around it, as to not mess it up. See? There’s a silver lining: my hair’s up so at least no one has to hold it back while I spew. That’s essentially the teeniest, tiniest silver lining ever.
“I take it that didn’t work,” Anna says from the other side of the door. Clearly she heard the up-chucking.
“No,” I say, my throat feeling tight. I kind of want to cry, and I totally would if it weren’t for the fact that it’d ruin my makeup and Anna would most likely kill me. Although, at this point, death isn’t sounding so terrible …
“Come on out, Brown’s here,” she says.
I decide that lying down on the bathroom floor isn’t my best move at this point, so I acquiesce and leave the bathroom.
“Hey Brown,” I say, wrapping my arms around my midsection. “Got any miracle cures for the stomach flu?”
“You look pale,” Brown says as soon as she gets a glimpse of me.
“Yes, thank you,” I say sarcastically. I’ve been puking my guts up all morning, of course I look pale.
“Too much to drink last night?” she asks, her eyebrows lifting high.
“Um, no. It was the rehearsal dinner and you were there. Since I have a terrible track record of drinking at rehearsal dinners and messing things up, I decided to refrain,” I say, remembering last year when I nearly ruined Anna’s wedding at her rehearsal dinner. Fun times.
Come to think of it, I was feeling a touch sick last night. I thought it might be nerves or something, which is silly because I wasn’t really feeling nervous.
The rehearsal dinner was at the Paramount Café, which has a lot of meaning for Jared and me. It was where we officially started our relationship.
“That’s true,” Brown says looking over at Anna and winking. “Nope, definitely not a hangover, then. That, I can fix. But the flu? Not so much.”
“Thanks for trying,” I say, and then lie down on the chaise lounge that I’m so grateful they have in this dressing room.
The room is actually rather quaint. I was picturing a ruddy old church classroom, but they must do a lot of weddings here, because this room is definitely fit for a bride. Beautiful drapery hangs around the windows and a lovely vanity is set up in the corner that we can use to do makeup and hair. Although we had the hair stylist and makeup artist meet us at the hotel this morning, so there’s not much use for it today. Thank goodness Anna is here for touch-ups before I walk down the aisle. That’s if I’m able to walk down the aisle.
I don’t feel the normal achiness that I usually get when I have the flu, thank goodness, so hopefully I can just sit here for a few minutes and miraculously feel better. I do believe in miracles, and we’re at a church, after all.
“What can we do for you Jules?” Brown asks.
“There’s really nothing,” I say closing my eyes as I lean back on the chaise. “Anna’s already tried. I think I just need to rest.”
“Well, you can’t rest too long,” Anna says. “We still need to get you into your dress and touchup your makeup. You’re set to walk down the aisle in an hour.”
I don’t have the heart or the energy to tell her she might have to wheelbarrow me down at this point.
“How are you feeling, Brown?” I ask wearily, still keeping my eyes closed, trying not to think of the situation I’m in right now.
“Pretty good, actually,” she says brightly. “I mean, I still have a little morning sickness, but it hasn’t been that bad.”
I could tell she felt better last week at the bachelorette party. The nausea was no longer overshadowing the pregnancy. And I know she’s not that far along, but she’s already glowing, I swear.