by Remember Me
Penn didn’t go too far by trying to save my life. If God knew that a mother wouldn’t keep her
child, maybe he sent her a child that wasn’t really meant to be on this earth.”
“You lost me again.”
“It’s the way my dad explained babies that are born dead,” explained Margaret. “He
believes that God never plans on that child spending a life on earth. He thinks that God gives the
child some small bond with a pair of earthly parents, but there is never any intent for that child to
actually see the light of the sun. It’s sort of a round trip ticket, where you don’t really get off
anywhere.
“When my father brought me into the world, he did something which was never intended
to occur. Perhaps he overstepped his bounds and changed God’s mind for him. It bothers me to
think that my existence here might not be approved of by the God I believe in.”
“So what are you saying?”
“Maybe God never planned on my existence.”
“I think I’ll disagree with you on that one. Perhaps God planned for things to happen just
the way they did.”
“I just wonder if I’m supposed to be alive.”
“But you are,” explained Amy, “and nobody can take that away from you now. Your
mother couldn’t when she tried to abort you. I think you’re part of something greater than you
know. I’m sure God could easily arrange a random bolt of lightning to cross your path if he
really didn’t want you here.”
“You’re probably right.”
“I’m sure of it.”
“There’s still the issue of my mother to deal with,” spoke Margaret.
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 135
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna track her down. I’ll find her, and when I do, I’ll mess up her life a bit. She
ought to witness first hand what she did to me.”
Amy looked back at Margaret with a frightened look on her face. The stare made
Margaret feel as if she had committed a terrible crime. She realized immediately that Amy didn’t
share her feelings towards the woman who had aborted her. Margaret recognized that she
sounded like a crazed maniac in expressing her emotions and wished she could take it all back.
“You’re kidding, right?” asked Amy.
“Of course I am,” spoke Margaret in an assuring voice. “I don’t even know her name. I
don’t care to know her name at this point. She didn’t want anything to do with me then, and I
don’t want anything to do with her now. At least I know the truth about my real parents.”
“So are you gonna say anything to your parents?” asked Amy.
“No,” answered Margaret. “They’ve chosen not to bring up the subject for almost
eighteen years now, I plan to do the same. What I don’t know won’t hurt me and what they don’t
know that I know won’t hurt them either.”
“You lost me on that one too.”
“I’m gonna treat it as if I never found a thing. My dad’s waited this long to tell me,
chances are he never will.”
“I can’t believe this,” spoke Amy with excitement. “This is so incredible. You were
supposed to be aborted. I shouldn’t even be speaking to you right now. You’re part of something
really big here. Wouldn’t your real mom be shocked if she found out about you?”
“And wouldn’t your dad be surprised if he found out about you?”
“What are you talking about now?” asked Amy, confused again.
“While I was talking to your mom, I was telling her about my trip to Harrison this
summer. She was telling me how she used to go to school there.”
“Yeah,” exclaimed Amy. “I know that.”
“Well, I also asked her if she had any old friends back there. Don’t mention to her
anything about our conversation. I’m sure your mom thinks we’re totally unaware of who your
father is, but she gave me a few names of kids she used to go to school with, and Todd Whitmore
was one of them.”
“So she did go to high school with him,” exclaimed Amy.
“Yeah,” answered Margaret, “and I’m sure that while I’m there this summer, I can round
up a little bit of information about the man.”
“You mean you’ll try to find him?”
“I won’t give up until I do find him, I guarantee it.”
“See if you can find out his address.”
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 136
“I guarantee you, Amy, I’ll find out more about him than just his address.”
Amy smiled back at her friend. Margaret realized she had cooled the situation and that
Amy no longer thought she was a psycho. She still felt betrayed and confused about the emotions
she felt. She knew she couldn’t share any more of her news with Amy. She knew Amy wouldn’t
like what she had planned. Deep down inside her, the desire to find her mother and confront her
remained.
“All right, you two, give me a smile.”
Amy and Margaret stood outside their school auditorium. Students and parents trying to
take pictures, filled the foyer to the auditorium. The girls wore their white caps and gowns. Their
parents had asked them to stand together so they could each get a shot of the graduated girls.
“Oh, this is just a wonderful picture,” exclaimed Alice.
“Let’s get out of here before we’re stuck here for the evening. I want to take some
pictures outside the school,” added Laura.
Raymond walked over to his daughter and gave her a hug. “You did well, sweetheart,” he
whispered to her. “The world is at your feet now. You can walk whichever path you choose.”
“Thanks daddy, and thanks for talking mom into my dress.”
The two girls and their parents walked outside to the gently warm spring evening. There
were still several hours before the sun would go down, and the night had a mystical feel to it.
Most of the other parents were still inside the building, and the families each took turns taking
pictures for one another.
“So have you two decided what you’re doing tonight?” asked Laura.
“There’s a dance up the canyon that sounded like fun,” answered Amy. “It’s sponsored
by the high school and there should be a lot of people up there. Margaret and I thought we would
go up there and try it out.”
“Just remember that many people will be drinking tonight,” added Alice. “Be careful, and
keep off the roads as much as possible.”
“We will, Mrs. Drake,” answered Amy. “I’m gonna run home now and get changed. I’ll
see you at my house in about an hour, Margaret.”
“All right,” answered Margaret as she walked with her parents to their car in the parking
lot. The three climbed inside the car and started away from the school.
“How late are you going to be out this evening, dear?” questioned Alice.
“Probably most of the night, if that’s all right.”
“Sure it is, dear,” answered her father. “Just make sure you’re careful out there. There’s a
lot of people out partying tonight. Many of them will be drinking. Watch out for the other
drivers, you don’t know if they’re sober or not.”
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 137
“You just graduated from hig
h school, Margaret. Your whole life is ahead of you now.
Don’t risk it over something stupid,” added her mother.
“I won’t, mom. I have a high value on life.”
The ride home seemed quiet, but Margaret liked it this way. She could enjoy the silence
with her parents. Something about the evening felt conclusive to her. She realized it was the last
time they would ever drive home from a school function together, and the last time she was just
their little girl. She knew that she wasn’t the only person feeling this way, as she could see tears
in her mother’s eyes.
Margaret arrived home and changed out of her dress into a pair of jeans and a warm
sweater. The evening felt cool in the valley, but would seem much colder up the canyon.
Margaret had prepared for the long night ahead of her. She had taken a nap earlier in the day and
felt as alert as ever. After tonight, she and Amy might never see some of her friends again, and
they planned to make the best of it.
Margaret walked downstairs to where her parents waited in the living room. A gift sat on
the table between the two sofas. Her parents had wrapped it in the same color of wrapping paper
as the dress she wore to her graduation.
“Open it up,” her father commanded.
Margaret reached down and picked up the box. It felt heavy for such a small package, and
she eagerly unwrapped it.
“My camera,” Margaret screamed. “How did you know I wanted this?”
“We asked your photography teacher,” her mother answered. “He told us you had been
talking about it. He helped us make sure we got the right one.”
“It’s wonderful,” she raved. “Thank you both so much. I can’t wait to use it.”
“We thought you might want to use it tonight,” her father replied. “We had them load it
with the right film for taking pictures at night. You can take it with you to the party, so that you
have some mementos of this evening.”
“I love it,” Margaret expressed with tears in her eyes. “Thank you. You’re the best.”
“You earned it,” her mother answered. “Now you go out and have a nice time. Just be
careful, we want to see your cheery face tomorrow morning.”
Margaret gave each of her parents a hug and then ran up to her room to empty out her old
camera case and pack her new camera inside. She rushed out to her car and headed to Amy’s
house to show off her new prize. Her mind seemed momentarily cleared of the last week’s
troubling news.
Margaret and Amy talked excitedly about the graduation as they drove up the canyon to
the large dance party. Margaret didn’t think that graduating would seem so mystical to her, but
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 138
she felt different, and much more aware of her surroundings. The time passed quickly as they
traveled up the winding road.
Margaret drove her car down towards the campsite. The party had started an hour earlier
and many people were already there. Amy undid her belt before they even located a place to
leave the car, and Margaret knew Amy felt as eager to get to the dance as she did.
Margaret found a spot to park the car and realized they had a short hike ahead of them.
From the number of cars parked along the road, they knew that the party was already a success.
They walked at a good pace towards the center of the dance. The entire mountainside campsite
looked packed, and people had wandered far into the parking lot to get some space. The closer
they got to the dance, the more crowded the area got.
The two mingled with their other friends for some time while walking around searching
for Jeremy and Brandon. The dance organizers had set up a large light system around the area
where the dance took place, but the mass of people quickly filled the region and overflowed into
the darkness of the night. Nobody had thought to pick a place to meet beforehand, and Margaret
just hoped that the boys’ path would cross their own.
The two girls finally ran into Brandon, who congratulated them both on their
accomplishment. He stood on the outskirts of a large group of people, who surrounded the
makeshift dance floor. Only after their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, could they clearly tell
who people were in the crowd.
Margaret had to speak loudly to communicate with Brandon over the noise of the crowd.
She suddenly felt like a third wheel standing with Amy and Brandon, and wanted to know where
to find Jeremy. The smell of the large campfire which burned a short distance away made her
wish she could cozy up with him. She had always loved the smell of a fire, and it put her into a
romantic mood.
She asked Brandon if he had seen Jeremy. She had seen Jeremy’s car parked near
Brandon’s and knew he was there. Brandon looked over his shoulder and then back at Margaret.
“I just saw him standing by the fire a while ago,” Brandon explained. “He was talking
with a bunch of people there, but he walked off into the bushes about three minutes ago. I bet he
had to take a leak.”
Margaret got a strange look on her face as she pulled out her camera that she carried at
her side. She had Brandon point out the approximate location where Jeremy had disappeared to,
and then excused herself from the two of them to sneak off after Jeremy.
Margaret entered the bushes a short distance from the location Brandon had pointed out.
She moved slowly and quietly, hoping to catch him with his pants down. The vegetation
absorbed and muffled the noise from the loud speakers, while her eyes adjusted to the darkness.
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 139
She found it much easier to sneak through the growth than she expected, and was more aware of
her surroundings. She continued through the bushes until she heard a rustling up ahead of her.
Margaret pulled the lens cap off her camera and adjusted the settings for night. There was
enough moonlight that she could see rather clearly, and she lifted up the expensive camera to see
what the digital indicators inside read. The light indicator told her she had just barely enough
light to take a picture.
Margaret focused the lens towards the area where she could hear the noises and started
walking closer. She finally reached a point where she could see the figure of a person behind a
small bush. She crawled around quietly to get a better angle to take the picture without focusing
the lens.
She finally reached a spot where she thought she could get a revealing picture, and sat
down to steady her aim. She focused the lens at the direction until she could clearly see the
person through the lens of the camera.
Margaret gasped as she realized that it wasn’t Jeremy whom she had discovered in the
bushes. The body she could clearly make out through her lens, was that of a woman. The girl
didn’t seem to mind the cold of the evening, she wore nothing to protect her from the chill.
Margaret could tell by the rhythmic motions of the naked girl that somebody else lay on the
ground beneath her.
Margaret started to take her eye away from the lens, but recognized who the girl was
before she could finish the action. She knew the girl was one of Jeremy’s friends, and suddenly
felt intrigued to
see who it was that the girl shared the forest with this evening.
Margaret zoomed the lens away from the girl to get a complete view of the scene. From
her point of view, she couldn’t see the guy’s face very clearly. She watched for several more
seconds, before a feeling of guilt crept in on her. She had just about decided to leave the couple
alone when the guy sat up and threw his arms around the girl.
Margaret’s mouth dropped and her fingers tightened with anger as she recognized the
guy’s face. Her finger accidentally pressed down on the button it rested on, and before she could
stop it, the camera had taken four pictures in quick secession.
Margaret stood up and ran as fast as she could away from the scene. She didn’t worry
about alerting them as she ran, but knew that they hadn’t heard her by the moans which sounded
behind her. She worried only of her camera as she hurried back to the crowd of people, and
didn’t even notice as she ran past another couple sharing a kiss in the brush. Margaret’s vision
clouded as her heart filled with anger.
She reached the clearing of the campsite, where the majority of people continued to enjoy
the party. She wanted to fall down and cry, but not in front of the students she had gone to school
A Novel by Brett Barney Remember Me?
© 1995 Brett Barney Literary Page 140
with. She knew she didn’t want to make a scene, and so she stopped to compose herself before
returning to the party. A few deep breaths, and she returned to her classmates.
As Margaret walked around the large mass of people, her thoughts were somewhere else.
She had always trusted Jeremy and never expected him to cheat on her like this. She wanted
desperately to hurt him somehow, but made it her strict policy not to speak to a guy if she found
out he had seen another girl. Using this approach, she had always maintained her dignity.
She wandered about aimlessly, trying to act as if she enjoyed herself, and trying to lock
her feelings away. She wished she could run off and hide for a while, but became lost in the
thunderous sounds of the music. She couldn’t run and miss this evening, even after all that had
happened.
“Hey Margaret, what are you doing all alone,” asked a voice from behind her, welcoming
her back to reality.