by BJ Hoff
More than once she had asked herself why. And more than once she had failed to suppress an uncomfortable suspicion that her concern for her employer might be more than a reasonable interest in his well-being.
With an uneasy sigh, she forced herself to turn her attention back to the conversation taking place around the table. Even with a determined effort, she found it difficult to pick up the threads of what she’d missed and make an attempt at being part of the group.
But she had promised her dad to keep an eye on Elly and Clay, so she forced herself to focus and join in. At least her cousin Philip had a great sense of humor and kept them all laughing, so after a few minutes she managed to almost enjoy herself.
TWENTY-NINE
DARKNESS FALLING
The dark seems at its heaviest when we’re reaching for the light.
ANONYMOUS
On Saturday afternoon Daniel headed out to the Hollidays’.
Esther had asked him to come and have a look at baby Anna. Apparently, the new little one had been restless lately and not as interested in eating as Esther would have liked.
He wasn’t overly concerned about the baby because it wasn’t all that unusual for an infant’s appetite to fluctuate early on, but he understood Esther and Stephen’s concern. Besides, he was eager to spend some time with his friends. His hours had been so busy of late that there had been precious little opportunity for a visit with some of his favorite people, and the Hollidays were at the top of that list. He only wished he wasn’t feeling so tired and still harboring the same headache that had been plaguing him for three days now. He actually felt almost dizzy from the fatigue and the pain in his head.
Sarge roused him from his thoughts with a sharp bark, as if to remind him that they were nearing the Hollidays’ farm. “Yes, I know we’re almost there,” Daniel said, slowing the buggy still more as they started down the lane. “You’re just impatient for whatever treat Esther is saving for you.”
Sarge gave another short woof of agreement as Daniel parked the wagon just outside the gate. By the time they reached the porch, Stephen was at the door, waiting with his usual vigorous handshake. It occurred to Daniel that nowhere else had he ever felt more welcome than at the Hollidays’.
Sarge was also made to feel at home here. After padding happily into the living room, he immediately dropped down beside the fireplace where an oversized log cheerfully burned.
“He’ll be asleep by the time we leave the room,” Daniel told Stephen.
“I don’t know. Once he gets a whiff of that beef roast Esther has in the oven, he may take off for the kitchen.”
Normally, Daniel’s stomach would have begun to roar at the very thought of one of Esther’s sumptuous meals, but for some reason today he felt nothing. He told himself that would probably change as soon as he reached the kitchen, where Stephen said they would find Esther.
“Is Anna asleep?” he asked Stephen on the way down the hall.
“She is. And if she takes her usual nap, we won’t hear a sound out of her for another hour or so. She’s a good little sleeper.”
“Esther’s been concerned about her, I know.”
“Well, yes. But I think she just has the jitters because it’s been so long since we’ve had a baby in the house. You’ll check her over while you’re here, though, won’t you?”
“Of course. I’m looking forward to seeing her again.”
Esther was just taking the roast out of the oven as they entered the kitchen. “It’s about time you showed up in my kitchen, Daniel Kavanagh! I was beginning to think you’d forgotten where we lived.”
“Nothing like that, Esther. And trust me, I haven’t been absent because I wanted to be.”
She set the roast on top of the stove and turned for a hug. The minute Daniel bent over, she reached to clasp both his shoulders, intently searching his face. “Oh, Daniel! You look so tired. And way too thin.”
He grinned at her, enjoying her motherly attention. “I confess I am tired, Esther. But not too tired to tear into that good-looking roast you just took out of the oven. I’ll most likely put on some extra pounds today.”
“Good! Now you and Stephen pull up a chair and talk to me while I get everything else ready. Mother is visiting and having her dinner with the widows at the church today and won’t be home until later. So we’ll have an early meal without her. Hopefully, Anna will go on napping for a while until we’re finished, and then I’ll feed her.”
“Why don’t I help you carry everything out to the dining room table first, and then we can visit while we eat?” Stephen offered.
“I wouldn’t mind. I’ve already set the table, so all we need to do is get the food on. Clay will be here, but a little later.” She drew a long breath. “He was stopping by to see Elly first.”
Daniel didn’t miss the frown that creased Stephen’s face, but his friend kept his silence as they carried what appeared to be enough food to feed an entire neighborhood into the other room. It bothered Daniel more than a little that by the time the various dishes were in place he still wasn’t feeling hungry for Esther’s impressive efforts. He had been so sure the very sight of the food would stoke his appetite.
In truth, he actually felt too tired to eat. He tried to concentrate on taking one bite after another and still join in the conversation around the table, but it was becoming more and more difficult to swallow, much less speak.
It didn’t take Esther long to notice his condition and comment on it.
“Daniel, are you all right? You’ve hardly touched your food.”
Strange. Her voice sounds as if it’s coming from far away. And why does the sight of all the food on my plate seem little more than a blur?
The longer he sat there, his body began to feel extraordinarily heavy, as if weights were pulling down on his legs and arms. He looked at Esther, intent on answering her so she wouldn’t think him rude. She had obviously worked most of the day on this meal, and he wouldn’t hurt her feelings for anything. But the truth was, he could scarcely think or focus, much less eat, and to save him, he couldn’t seem to form an answer to her question, certainly not one that might explain the inertia settling over him. He was beginning to feel as though he might collapse and fall into his food or even drop from his chair.
“Daniel! Oh, Stephen, he’s passing out! Help him!”
He felt strong hands grasp him under the shoulders and then wrap him in a sturdy embrace. His face grew numb. He tried to speak but could form no words. The table seemed to move away from him. He felt as if he were being lifted, but that couldn’t be. He was too big for anyone to lift. Unless Stephen—but why would Stephen be trying to lift him? And why was the room so dark? It was too early, and yet the night was definitely settling in. There was no light now, none at all…
There was nothing but darkness enfolding him, suffocating him. Nothing but darkness.
THIRTY
THE DOCTOR AS A PATIENT
Why is it effects are greater than their causes?
OLIVER ST. JOHN GOGARTY
Voices. Nearby, whispering.
He heard a baby cry, then stop. Was he in his office? The exam room? He didn’t think he could open his eyes. Somehow he knew it would hurt, so he tried to feel with his hands. He touched fabric, warm and smooth. Medicinal smells…so he was in his office, but something was weighing him down. His chest felt heavy. Everything about him felt heavy…his arms and legs, even his head.
“Daniel? Dr. Kavanagh? Can you hear me?”
He should know that voice. It was familiar, but his mind was numb, and it hurt. It was hard to think.
“Daniel, it’s Ted. Ted Gardiner. Dr. Gardiner, from Clarksburg. Remember me? You helped me earlier this year with my surgery class at the University.”
Ted Gardiner? Yes, of course, I remember him. A good doctor, and a good teacher too. But what is he doing here? His practice is in Clarksburg.
“Daniel? You need to try to wake up now. You’ve been sleeping for a long time.�
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But not long enough. He felt as though he could do with several more hours of sleep. So tired. He didn’t think he had ever been so tired.
“Daniel.”
A gentle touch on his shoulder. Why was Gardiner so insistent that he wake up? The man was a doctor, after all. Couldn’t he tell that he needed more sleep?
“Daniel.”
A different voice this time. Was that Esther? But why was she here? Was something wrong with the baby? He’d best get up and see.
“What’s wrong, Esther?”
“Oh! Daniel! Thank heaven, you’re awake!”
“Anna? Is it Anna? I’ll have a look…”
A hand on his chest restrained him. “Whoa, Daniel—Dr. Kavanagh. I’m afraid you’re not going anywhere just yet.”
Ted Gardiner again. What in the world is going on?
Finally, Daniel managed to open his eyes, snapping them shut almost immediately against the light. But not before he caught a glimpse of Ted Gardiner leaning over him, while Esther and Stephen stood at the foot of the bed.
The bed! What in the world was he doing in bed? And at the Hollidays’. He struggled to sit up but immediately fell back. “What—”
Gardiner gripped his arm. “Easy, Daniel. You need to listen to me. You’re all right now, but you’ve had a bit of trouble.”
Trouble?
“What kind of trouble?”
“Do you remember passing out?”
“I passed out? But I’ve never passed out…”
“Well, I’m afraid you can’t say that anymore. Apparently, your friend Stephen caught you or you might have been in worse shape than you are now. It seems he saved you from a tumble.”
Daniel looked toward the foot of the bed to see Stephen smiling at him. “Good thing you’re as light as you are, my friend, or we might both have been in some trouble.”
“But—”
Gardiner had already begun to check his pulse. “Just give me a minute now, and I’ll answer any questions you have.” When he glanced up, he nodded. “You’re doing better. Yes, a good bit better.”
Bewildered, Daniel had all he could do to form a coherent question. “I actually did pass out?”
“Oh, yes. How do you feel?”
“How—” Daniel broke off. How did he feel? Confused. His mind felt as if it were enveloped in a fog. But the headache he’d been struggling with for days seemed to have eased, at least a little. That alone was a relief.
“Am I ill?” he finally managed.
“Ill?” Gardiner repeated. “Well, yes. But you’ll be all right in time if you start taking care of yourself. However, you need to know that you were definitely headed for something more serious than exhaustion, although that’s trouble enough.”
“Exhaustion?”
“That’s right. Total exhaustion. And as I’m sure you know, your heart has its limits. If you stress it beyond its endurance, it will rebel. Not getting enough rest or sleep, not eating right, in general not looking after yourself at all…I’m quite certain you’re familiar with the condition we call exhaustion after all your years in medicine.”
“But how—”
“How did it happen?” Ted Gardiner cracked a knowing smile. “You tell me. I understand you’ve been in the middle of a scarlet fever epidemic for some time now. Not to mention a local mine disaster. Tell me about the hours you’ve been keeping, why don’t you?”
Daniel stared at him. In that moment he decided there was no way he was going to admit to another physician—especially one he respected as much as Ted Gardiner—just how neglectful he’d been of himself. As a physician, he should have known that he was only borrowing trouble.
When he didn’t answer, Gardiner gave another nod, saying, “Right. Well, we’ve probably all been there, I expect. And eventually we have to pay the price. I can give you a tonic, and I’ll certainly check on you frequently, but in the long run it’s up to you. I think you know what you have to do.”
Daniel knew all too well. What he didn’t know was just how he could do it.
“And before you start peeling off the reasons you can’t leave your practice long enough to recuperate—yes, you can. And you will. You must.”
When Daniel started to object, Gardiner cut him off before he could get the words out. “Now listen. I have an assistant, a young fellow fresh out of medical school, who could actually use a little more work. I’m going to see if he’d be willing—and I’m sure he would be—to cover your practice for a few days—”
Again Daniel tried to interrupt, and again the other refused to let him. “It won’t be a problem. And Nolan is a good physician—at least he’s going to be, once he gets a bit more experience. It’ll be good for him to take on more responsibility for a few days, more than I can give him in our practice at the present time. I’ve been so busy teaching I’ve had to cut down on my patient load, so I’ve been doing a number of referrals.”
Daniel frowned. “You said something about a few days?”
Gardiner smiled. “Well… two weeks, Daniel. Two weeks, maybe three. At least. I can’t say for certain that will be long enough. We’ll have to see how you do, but I do know you’ll not be a hundred percent before then. And if you need more time, I’ll see to it that Nolan gives you what you need.”
Daniel’s mind felt as if it were sliding back to its earlier numbness. He couldn’t begin to imagine not working for a day or two, much less two weeks or more. Yet something stirred within him that seemed to hint that Gardiner was right, no matter that it went against his very nature to agree with the man.
“I understand you also have a very capable nurse working for you.”
He looked at Gardiner. “Addie Rose? She’s not actually a nurse.”
“But she’s experienced with your practice and acts as your assistant?”
“Yes, but—”
“Good. Then she’ll be of real help to Nolan with your routine and your patient files. She seems more than willing to help—and highly capable.”
“You’ve…talked with Addie Rose?”
“Oh, yes. She was here earlier this morning. Apparently, once she got the news about you, she drove in and stayed until early afternoon.”
“Addie Rose drove in?”
Gardiner smiled. “That’s right. She said she has a new buggy of her own. And she was obviously quite pleased with it.”
“Good for her. I knew she was saving for one. But… Wait. How long have I been asleep?”
Gardiner looked at him, his eyes narrowing. “You honestly don’t know?”
“No. Well, for hours, I suppose—” Daniel stopped, uncertainty eating at him.
“This is Sunday, my friend. Sunday evening. You’ve been out since yesterday afternoon.”
“Sunday?” Incredulous, Daniel looked toward the window and saw only darkness. “I’ve been asleep since yesterday?”
“You have indeed,” replied Gardiner. “Deeply asleep. That’s why Stephen sent his son into Clarksburg to find a doctor this morning. Your friends here have been very concerned, and rightly so.”
Riddled with shock and confusion, Daniel could scarcely get his breath. He looked toward Esther. “Esther, I’m sorry! So sorry. I wouldn’t have put you out like this for anything—”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Daniel! As if your sleeping under our roof is putting us out after everything you’ve done for us and our family!” She wagged a finger at him. “I don’t want to hear another word. Furthermore, you’re going to stay here during your recuperation until Dr. Gardiner says you’re completely well, and that’s final.”
“No, I can rest at home. But the baby… You were worried about Anna. I was going to check her out.” He tried to pull himself up.
“That little sweetie is just fine,” put in Dr. Gardiner, carefully pushing him back onto his pillows. “I’ve gone over her thoroughly, and she couldn’t be any healthier.”
Daniel looked from him to Esther. “But you’ve been concerned—”
&n
bsp; She waved a hand toward her husband. “Stephen says I worry about everything where Anna’s concerned. And I suppose I do. It’s been such a long time since we’ve had a baby in the house that I can’t help but hover. But Dr. Gardiner says she’s thriving and that babies sometimes change their eating habits and other parts of their routine, so that’s helped to put my mind at ease.”
She came around to pat his arm. “Now, no more talk of your going home. You’re staying right here where I can keep an eye on you. Besides,” she added, “no doubt Stephen will rather like the idea of having a doctor on the premises to keep me from fussing so much over Anna.”
“That sounds like an order to me,” said Ted Gardiner. “If you’re wondering, your Miss Addie Rose has promised to stop by each day and bring you up to date on what’s happening with your patients. And I’ll make sure Nolan also stays in continual contact with you.”
Daniel couldn’t deny to himself that he found the idea of seeing Addie Rose every day more than a little pleasing. But then another thought struck him. “Sarge! Where’s Sarge?”
Again Esther touched his arm. “He’s just fine, Daniel. Right now he’s out on the front porch. He can stay with us too for as long as you’re here. In fact, there’s no reason he can’t share the room with you, if you like. He’s most welcome to stay indoors. We love Sarge too.”
“That seems like a good idea,” Ted Gardiner said. “I expect he’s a bit put out by now about being separated from you. I didn’t like the look in his eye when I arrived today. Where in the world did you find a dog that size anyway?”
“He’s been with me since the war,” Daniel explained. “And don’t let him fool you. He really is all bark and no bite.”
“Good to know,” said Gardiner. “Given his size, I wouldn’t want to think about his bite.”
Late into the night, Daniel lay half dozing, listening to the comforting sounds of Sarge snoring at the side of his bed. He felt a peace that surprised him, given the unexpected change in his usual hectic routine. Unexpected, and yet not entirely unwelcome.