She had to pull through this. Mike demanded it, not only to extend her life but for his own selfish reasons. She needed to see her grandchildren grow, to see him marry the girl he loved.
He was alone with her now. His sisters were gone for the night, each with a family and a life that had to keep going despite this. They had husbands and families to surround them, to keep them propped up, while Mike felt as if he were sinking into the ground.
He heard soft footsteps enter the room and didn’t bother to look up. All day nurses had been in and out to check on his mother. After the fifth hour he stopped waiting for an update on her condition. There was no change. The doctor had no answers for him. She couldn’t even tell him if his mother was going to live or die.
Soft fingers ran through his hair, and he inhaled. The scent of vanilla, soap, and sweet spice infiltrated his senses and blocked out the nauseating hospital scent. He was dreaming, missing Ellis so much that he could almost feel her touch on his skin.
“Mike?” Lips brushed his forehead. “It’s late, baby. Come with me.”
*
Mike couldn’t stop staring at her. He was afraid she was a mirage, but she wasn’t fading away. She stood before him in the hotel room she had rented, her hair damp, her body wrapped in a fluffy white towel. He didn’t expect her to be here, not after what had happened with Dina.
He grasped her hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss the backs of her fingers. “You’re here.” He spoke for the first time. He had been so overwhelmed before that he couldn’t force the words out.
“Where else would I be?”
At her store. Phillipa still spoke to him. He knew about her meeting. He knew about the chance she had to make her dreams come true. She couldn’t miss it for him.
“What about your meeting?”
She ran her fingers through his hair. “What about you?”
The back of his throat burned as he pulled her down next to him on the bed and hugged her tightly. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t make it.”
“Mikey…” She kissed his cheeks. “I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.”
She didn’t have to say anything. She was with him and that was enough. He pushed her down on the bed. Unshed tears stung his eyes. Her smell, the way her full soft body felt pressed into his, her sweet words made him realize how much he needed her in his life. How could he have let her walk away?
“Baby.” She wrapped her arms around him as his chest heaved, kissing the tears from his face. He slipped his hand beneath her towel to touch the soft flesh of her belly. He just needed to touch her, to feel her to remind himself that he wasn’t alone anymore. The tears streamed down his face a little harder. He squeezed his eyes shut, nearly choking as he tried to stop them from flowing.
“It’s okay, love,” she soothed as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Don’t try to stop them.”
It was then he broke, all the emotions that he’d felt for the past two days flowing out of him.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Letting It Go
I was cleaning out my closet and I came across the sexy little one-piece I bought last season. Immediately thoughts of the last time I wore it came crashing back to me. “Your thighs are too big to be walking around in that one-piece. You should be wearing the fat-old-lady kind with the skirt attached.” I immediately told myself to shut it. I was tired of wearing bathing suits that looked like they were made for a seventy-year-old. But then that same little horrible voice said, “Is that cottage cheese you’ve got growing back there?” At that point, tired of feeling nutso, I shoved it back in my closet behind my old prom dress. It’s winter; I’ve got six months before I have to think about that again.
Ellis hadn’t moved from her spot for the last two hours. Their hands were linked; her fingers were a little numb, but she wouldn’t let go of Mike’s hand. For the past two days they had sat vigil at Margie’s side waiting for any sign that she was going to awaken. Her condition hadn’t improved but neither had it worsened. Mike had been silent about his feelings but Ellis could feel the worry seeping out of him.
“Are you hungry?” she asked with a touch to his face.
He blinked at her, his mind elsewhere. He had barely registered anything she had said all day.
“Mike? Do you want me to get you something to eat or drink?”
“I’m fine.” He tugged her out of her chair and into his lap, wrapping both his arms around her. “Sit here for a while. You make me feel grounded.”
“Anybody would feel grounded with a giant boulder sitting on top of them.” She kissed his chin. “But you’re sweet.”
“Hello, kids.” Mike’s father, Harry, walked in. He looked eerily like his son. They even wore similar black sweaters. “How’s my girl today?”
Harry bent over to lightly kiss Margie’s bruised face.
“There’s no change, Dad. The doctors haven’t said anything all day.”
“My poor Margie girl,” he whispered. “You don’t deserve this.” He stood, his eyes slightly misty, and faced them. “You think she’ll take me back?”
“You’ll have to woo her, Mr. Edwards.” After twenty years apart he still loved her. Ellis knew the damage he had caused but deep down she wanted Harry to succeed. She wanted Margie to be happy with the man she’d married nearly forty years ago.
“Harry,” he corrected. “You think so? How did Mike get you?”
“Oh, him?” She glanced at his son. “He kept feeding me and now I love him like a fat kid loves cake.”
Harry chuckled. “I like you, Ellis.” He looked back to his former wife. “I’m going to track down a doctor. If her condition doesn’t change in twenty-four hours I’m flying in a specialist from the city.”
He rested his hand on Mike’s shoulder and squeezed it before he walked out of the room.
Ellis turned in Mike’s lap to rest her head on his shoulder. “He loves you. Have you forgiven him yet?”
“I’m on my way there. I spent so much of my childhood thinking he was perfect and so much of my adulthood thinking he was evil. But he’s just a man who is as flawed as the rest of us.”
“You sound so wise. When did you come to this realization?”
“Thirty seconds ago. I haven’t seen him since he offered me money to spend time with him.”
“What?”
He nodded. “At the time I thought it was a dickish thing to do. He can buy everything else but he can’t buy me. And then I figured that only a desperate man would try to buy his son’s time.” He glanced at his mother. “In light of this I think I understand why he did it. If he dies tomorrow and I ask myself, Am I happy with the way we left things, would I be happy with the answer?”
“Would you?”
“No, because I still love him and I can tell by the way he looks at my mother that he still loves her.”
Ellis’s eyes misted at Mike’s sweetness. “I hope they remarry.”
“Do you?” He kissed her forehead.
“When she wakes up your mother will realize how empty her life has been without Harry and take him back. Then they will have a big wedding in Buffalo where your sisters will be bridesmaids and you will be the best man.”
He smiled softly at her daydreaming. “Where will you be?”
She thought about it for a moment. Where would she be? It was the wrong time to think about their relationship. She wanted to be with him, but she wasn’t sure if they could make things work. The more she thought about it the more she realized that she’d been too quick to walk out on him. But maybe it was for the best in the long run. Maybe she still needed time to figure out herself, and maybe he deserved somebody who would trust him without question. He deserved somebody who wasn’t always waiting for him to break her heart. “Making all the dresses. Duh.”
“Of course.” He was silent for a moment. “You really think she’s going to wake up?”
“I know she is. This is just a bump in the road.
”
“Hmm.” He kissed her forehead once more. “I love you, Ellie.”
She froze for a moment, not sure if she’d heard him correctly. “What?”
“I love you.” He frowned. “Why do you look so surprised? I’ve told you that before.”
“No, Mike, you haven’t.”
“I had to have … I told everybody else I did.” He shook his head and locked eyes with her. “I’m in love with you. You knew that, right? I fell for you when you stuck your tongue out at me that night in the bar.”
“Ugh. You did? That wasn’t one of my finer moments.”
He shrugged. “That’s when it happened. It’s like you punched me in the heart.”
“Hmm.” She cuddled into him. “I fell in love with you way before that. It was when I saw your tight ass in those Calvins.”
He gave her a half smile then sobered. “Did you really have no idea that I was in love with you? Is that why you broke up with me?”
She leaned in to kiss him, because she couldn’t find the right words to explain to him why she did. He had finally said he loved her. It was the best feeling in the world but as much as she was glad he said it, it didn’t change anything. She loved him but she didn’t know what it would take for her to let the wall completely slip from her heart. He wouldn’t understand that she’d ended things for his sake. So that he could be happy in the long run. “I love you so much,” she whispered into his mouth, before kissing him deeply again.
“When a woman wakes up in a hospital she would like to hear some answers, not the sounds of her son and his girlfriend making out. And who makes out in their mother’s hospital room? And why can’t I feel my left arm?”
Chapter Thirty
She was leaving. Mike stood in the doorway of their hotel room watching Ellis pack with a sinking feeling. She hadn’t heard him return from the rehab facility where his mother was going to be spending the next six weeks. She moved quietly and efficiently, stuffing her meager belongings in the small duffel bag she had brought with her. He knew she had to go back. She had missed her meeting, taken time away from her business and her customers to be with him, but he didn’t want her to go.
“You’re going.”
She startled and turned to face him. He admired her for a moment in her white vee-neck sweater and those tight blue jeans that always made the blood rush from his brain. She was barefoot, her high-heeled brown boots resting on the floor in front of the bed. He had spent nearly every minute of the past four days with her and yet she was still a sight for sore eyes.
“How’s your mother?” she asked, ignoring his statement.
“My father is spoiling her like a two-year-old so her spirits are good, but physically she is going to need months of physical therapy and a major change in her lifestyle. She’s not so happy about that. My mother has lived off stress and caffeine for the past twenty years. I don’t think she knows anything else.”
“I’ll have my mother come to visit. She can teach her all about the benefits of yoga.”
Mike shut the door behind him, fully entering the room. “My father wants her to give up the flower shop and live with him, but she’s torn. I know she loves him, but she’s having a hard time giving up her independence.”
Tears formed in Ellis’s eyes.
“You’re leaving,” he said once more.
“I love you, Mike.” She rested her head on his chest, sliding her cool hands beneath his shirt to break the tiny distance between them. “Please, don’t hate me.”
He did a little, but he slid his arms around her and held her. He couldn’t say he didn’t expect this. She hadn’t answered him in the hospital. And when she greeted his questions with kisses he knew they were doomed.
They loved each other. They were good together. Why couldn’t they make things work? But this time he knew it had nothing to do with him. This was all on her. There was nothing more he could say to convince her. He knew how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. It was up to her to decide how she wanted to spend hers.
“If you need anything at all, let me know.” She kissed his cheek. “Okay?”
He nodded, unwilling to tell her that she was what he needed, unwilling to demand she forget her silly reasons and give them a shot.
“Thank you for coming, Ellis. I’m glad that you did.”
She nodded and pressed soft kisses to his mouth, whispering that she loved him half a dozen times.
Don’t let her go. Every bone in his body screamed at him not to let her walk out. But he just couldn’t keep fighting for her when she was so hell-bent on walking away.
*
Christmas passed quietly for Mike. He’d left Buffalo a few days before, confident that his mother was being well cared for by his father. Ellis was probably going to get her wish. Mike had walked in on his parents kissing the day before he left. His father was on his knees before her, her face cupped gently in his hands. An odd feeling tore through Mike seeing his parents like that. It made him miss Ellis, but he pushed the thoughts of her out of his mind. It was easy to be angry with her for giving up on them, but he would not allow himself to be bitter. She was there for him when he needed her the most. It counted for something.
His father had bought a town house on Lake Erie, telling Mike that he was replanting his roots in his hometown with his best girl. The two of them spent a lot of time talking. His father now called him daily, as if trying to make up for years of lost conversations. Mike was okay with that. He was glad to have him back.
Moving back to Buffalo crossed his mind. He no longer had anything in Durant, save Colin and memories of college and his first love. Maybe it was time to move again. To put down roots of his own. He had come to Durant to find himself, and he’d found love. Unfortunately, he fell in love with a woman who couldn’t be with him. If he moved to Buffalo he wouldn’t be afraid of running into her at the coffee shop, or wondering if every blue car that passed by was hers. He could move on. He had been happy with her. Maybe he had a shot of being happy with someone else.
Fat fucking chance.
He ignored the nagging thought in his head and that deep-down feeling that told him he was never going to get over her. Disgusted with himself, he powered on his laptop and did a search for real estate in Buffalo. Thirteen minutes into his search the doorbell rang.
It’s probably Colin, he thought as he shut his laptop and glanced at the clock. His friend had been around a lot lately, usually bringing food or alcohol with him.
When he opened the door he didn’t see his friend. Dina faced him.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, ready to slam to door in her face.
She did this. She fucked everything up.
“I need to talk to you.” She placed her hand on the frame so he couldn’t shut the door. “Please. Five minutes and then you’ll never see me again.”
“What?”
“Can’t I come in?” She looked into his place. “I’m freezing my ass off out here.”
He stepped aside to let her in but refused to let her get farther than the coatrack. “If you’re trying to proposition me you can forget it. I thought I made it clear—”
“God, no.” She rolled her eyes. “I came to tell you that you have to get my sister back.” Dina’s face softened as emotion filled her eyes. “She’s miserable. I can take her being mad at me but I can’t take how sad she is. It’s like somebody died. So you have to go back and get her, okay? Tell her you’re sorry. Buy her some jewelry. Just make her stop being so sad.”
“Why do you care?” he snapped then turned away, unable to look at Dina. “You spent your whole life treating her like shit. Excuse me if I have a hard time believing you.”
“I was horrible to her. I wasn’t happy so I wanted Ellis to be unhappy. Everybody has always liked Ellis better than me. Even our parents. I hated the way Walter looked at her like she was some sort of precious little angel. I hated how she could talk to him when I never found the right words to say.
My mother, too. Every time she calls me she mentions how proud she is of Ellis. How good she turned out. It makes me feel like shit. And the only way I could make myself feel better is by ripping her apart, knowing that no matter what I did she would always love me. I tested her. All my life she has been the only person who really just loves me.” She scrubbed her thin hands over her face. “But I still wanted her to fail at something.
“I knew the way I felt about my sister was wrong, but then you came along again. You, the only guy who ever dumped me, fell in love with my sister. I didn’t kiss you because I wanted you. I kissed you because I knew if Ellis was alone I wouldn’t feel so alone. But it backfired. She’s alone and I still feel like shit. She’s gray, Mike. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like somebody put her light out. You’ve got to get her back.”
Dina’s explanation made sense, and as much as he wanted to blame her for the breakup he couldn’t. Ellis didn’t want him. “She’s the one who walked away. I’m tired of chasing after her.”
“But you’ve got to!” Tears flashed in her eyes. “Walter loves her but he’s hardly ever said it and doesn’t know how to show her. Then there’s my mother, who told her but spent most our childhood chasing after me. Ellis practically raised herself. And then there’s me who probably loves her more than anybody else but is so fucked up that I can’t be around her without hurting her. She’s never had anybody chase after her. Nobody who has loved her the way she needed to be loved. That’s why she keeps pushing you away. She doesn’t know how to be loved. She’s stubborn. I know her. She thinks she’s being noble by letting you go. She thinks she’s too hard to love. But she’s being stupid. You need to get her back.”
Dangerous Curves Ahead: A Perfect Fit Novel Page 31