Behind all that wealth the family held, the glass smiles they gave to people in public, there were so many lies. So many hidden secrets and emotions they never let the world see. So much deceit. Trent was the perfect example of it all, and I had been in love with him for years.
Maybe… I was lucky, to be able to leave? Because in a way, I had escaped getting entangled with them. My heart felt heavy as I watched the sunset on the beach as I wondered, feeling conflicted.
Was it the right decision to leave home, in spite of everything?
21
Trent
“Here are the documents you needed, sir.”
I waved my hand at the secretary to leave them on the desk in front of me without looking away from the computer monitor, though I did spare her a glance when I heard the folder hit the desktop.
“Thank you,” I murmured distractedly, pulling the keyboard closer to me to type something out.
“Any time, sir,” she said, then walked out. I heard the door closing behind her.
I finished what I was working on, then pushed the keyboard to the side and reached for the new folder.
“Shit is getting a little too busy around here,” I muttered to myself as I opened it up to look at the contents.
In the time since Jessi had left, I had been busy. So super fucking busy that I barely had the time for regrets, and still, I kept thinking about Jessi and how we’d left things, how my sister had all but commanded I go after her. I’d made the decision that I had to… but because I was an idiot, work came first.
If I was being honest with myself, I would admit to being afraid. So damn afraid about everything. The moment Emily had left my office, I’d been about to drop everything to run out and do what she’d wanted, to go looking for Jessi to bring her back. I only stopped myself at the last minute because I realized that wasn’t like me at all.
Just what was happening to me?
It was terrifying for me because I’d always been in control of myself, ever since I was a teenager. I’d forced that control on myself, thinking it was the only way I could live. And then, out of nowhere, I needed someone else. It was a weakness that came out of nowhere for me, because I’d pretty much killed the word “need” in my vocabulary. If you needed, then you were opening yourself up to pain and disappointment.
And yet, I had this deep need for someone’s presence, and that someone just had to be Jessi of all people. I’d never felt that way towards anybody, not since Mom died, anyway.
The terror that arose from it was something foreign, something I’d thought I got rid of a long time ago. I’d stopped being afraid of things by the time I was six, after Mom was gone, and Dad was too busy to even be there for me, all I’d had was myself. I’d taught myself to kill fear and had lived without it for two decades. So what the fuck was happening now?
A knock on the door made me look up. I was distracted anyway, I’d only got to the middle of the document before what I was reading blurred and I focused on my thoughts. The secretary walked in, and I arched an eyebrow her way.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“A few calls for the meeting came in, sir,” she said. “I wanted to ask you for permission before setting any meetings.”
I didn’t want to take any meetings. All of this was supposed to be my dad’s job, and the old man was still hiding himself away in the mansion. I’d gone over to try and speak to him a few times, only to be rebuffed, and it just left me more confused about the whole situation. It had been nearly a month since I’d come back home, and there was no news of his health, so I was still handling things that should have been his to handle.
The meetings were particularly annoying because the people that came in were more about sucking up to me or talking down to me because I was there in place of my dad. It was so damn annoying I’d stopped taking meetings last week. I was busy enough as it was without them.
“Are they important?” I asked because that was all I cared about.
“I’m afraid they are, sir,” she said, almost apologetically. “I could set them up for some time next week?”
I nodded with a bit of relief. “I think that would be for the best.”
“I’ll get on it.”
She walked back out, and I leaned back into my seat with a heavy sigh.
I needed to talk to Dad before then. I wasn’t sitting in one more fucking meeting!
It wasn’t like I got anything from them, anyway. When I did pay attention, resolutions weren’t met, and follow up meetings had to be set. It was a far cry from the success I’d had with my own business, and it was so damn frustrating. I’d thought I was on my way to a beautiful career, but clearly, I still had much to learn about the business world. It was still annoying to learn I wasn’t as unflappable as I’d thought.
“Why did I have to be a Thompson?” I asked my empty office.
I got no answer, as expected, but that only made me even more irritated.
I hated the family name. I hadn't given much thought to it when I was younger, and I only started to know its true weight when I got to high school. When I’d walk to school, and I would have people fawn over me because of the name and the family it was attached to. I’d even toyed with getting my name legally changed, perhaps to my mom’s maiden name, but I knew Dad would never stand for it.
More than anything, I hated what it all stood for. People saw my name as something to be proud of, but I would rather hide it because all it reminded me of was a man who was fooled into a marriage when he still should have been grieving, and a woman who deluded a man because of her greed and needs.
I ran my hands over my face, feeling done with it all.
“Why can’t I go back home?” I wondered out loud. “I miss the mountains. It’s so much easier to hide from it all there. Hide from them.”
I couldn’t just up and leave, though. No matter how much resentment I held for my father, he was still my family, and I had my obligations. I had no intention of dropping them and leaving because I wanted to hide. It would be too shameful; my pride would never be okay with it.
There was another knock on the door, and I looked at it curiously with a small frown. If it was the secretary coming back to ask authorization for more meetings, I was going to refuse this time.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened, and I was shocked to see Emily come in.
“What are you doing here?” I blurted, but really, I was just surprised she was polite this time, even taking the time to knock. It was a far cry from her behavior when she was last here.
“I came to see you,” she said matter-of-factly.
She was dressed more or less the same as the last time I saw her, in a designer dress and a pair of heels, with painted nails and her hair styled to fall around her shoulder, down her back. Only the colors were darker than last time, and I didn’t know if that was a clue to her mood or not.
“What did you come to see me about?” I asked cautiously.
She sighed as she slumped into the chair across my desk and looked up to meet my eyes with a determined gaze.
“It’s about Dad,” she said.
Immediately, I perked up. “What, did something happen?”
She waved a hand at me. “Don’t get so alarmed; Dad is fine. In fact, he’s always been fine. There was never a heart attack. Maybe a little heartbreak but that’s it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“How many ways can I say this, big brother?” she said with a heavy sigh, jumping out of the chair to pace the room, arms crossing over her chest. It was just like last time, only I figured this time around she had a different reason for not wanting to look at my face. “Dad deceived all of you, and he made me keep his secret. He wanted you guys to come back home, and he wanted you to help expand the business. He hasn’t been ill at home at all. Honestly, it’s like he’s on vacation or something.”
What the fuck?
I narrowed my eyes at her, not wanting to believe it. I like
d to think I knew my little sister a bit more than I did before, and I didn’t think she would lie about something like this. It was just so hard to believe my dad would come up with such a devious plan, all for what? To have me and my brothers back home, working hard for him, as it should be?
Seriously, Dad?
“Is everything you just said true?” I asked.
Emily met my gaze and nodded, tilting her chin up slightly at my hard look, clearly refusing to be cowed. “Yes,” she said simply.
Fuck.
I didn’t ask anything more, taking her word for it. I stood up, picked up my coat, and left the room. Emily called out to me, but I ignored her. I stopped at the secretary’s desk.
“I’ll be leaving now,” I said, ignoring her shocked reaction. “My father will be back in the office soon. Let him know the progress.”
“Sir?”
I kept on walking. If Dad didn’t show up for his job, then that was his problem. I’d wasted enough time around here. Dad hadn't bothered to see any of us, me, Mason, or Kevin, and all because he was pretending to be ill? I was already on the verge of breaking, and Emily’s confession was the last straw for me.
I went back to my room at the hotel and cleared it out. I had some stuff at the mansion, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without. I’d let myself get fooled because of my concern for my father, and I wanted to go off and lick my wounds and pretend none of this ever happened, back to my mountains. I hadn't eaten, but I didn’t even pause as I packed my stuff up, went down to my car, jumped in and drove for home.
The perfect escape, I thought to myself. The perfect little reason to run away from everything.
Maybe it was unfair, but I couldn’t help but think of Jessi’s disappearance in light of my dad’s betrayal. I’d wanted to see her, to find her as Emily said, but right then, I killed that idea.
Jessi leaving me had hurt badly enough. It had hurt a lot deeper than I was willing to admit. It had been so easy for her to leave, that I wondered what she thought of me. I’d never given her reason to think anything positive of me, so that was my fault.
But the short time we’d had together had been so sweet. While I was with her, I had felt so different from how I was every day for the past decade. I’d harbored some hope, I’d hoped to help Dad out and that she and I could work something out.
Jessi threw that away, not me. I realized the thing holding me back, besides the fear, was the hurt. If I went after her, wouldn’t she just throw me away again? Just like my father, who was now resulting to tricks to try and get me to return to the fold when all he had to do was fucking talk to me like I was his son, not his heir.
I’d anticipated getting back home so much, but my arrival was completely anticlimactic. Once I got back, I went inside, leaving my suitcase in the car, and headed straight for my bedroom. I had a balcony with a perfect view of the mountains, and I breathed a sigh as I stood there, looking out.
I watched the sunset from the mountains, feeling lost for the second time in my life, the first time having been after my mom’s death.
What the fuck was I supposed to do now?
22
Trent
I was back home, but I wasn’t in the mood for work. So I stuck around at home, lazing around.
It was something new to me. I’d worked hard because I knew it was the way out for me. I’d rarely taken days off, and when I did, it was to go out hiking. Never to stay at home and do nothing, it wasn’t in my fucking genes. Work, work, work that was all us men ever did in our family. Maybe that was the fucking problem, the reason that we were so dysfunctional as a family.
On my third day back, I woke up and checked my phone. It was mid-morning, and the nit-picky side of my personality was scandalized. Usually, I was up at the break of dawn. I normally went for a run around the neighborhood before heading back in for a shower, then got dressed and ready for work.
Instead, I got out of bed in an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt, scratching my head as I yawned. I’d stayed up late contemplating some useless shit I couldn’t even remember, but at least it kept my mind off my problems for the time being.
I wasn’t going anywhere, but I headed for the shower anyway. One thing I was refusing to fudge on was showering when I woke up. I brushed my teeth as the shower warmed up, and as I blinked the sleep from my eyes, I caught a glance at my reflection.
Well, damn, I thought. I looked like shit.
I hadn't shaved for the past few days, and I had a nice little beard growing in, a pale blond one that wouldn’t be too noticeable to others but it was enough to get me to frown. I had bed hair too, and I ran my hands through it, feeling a few knots in the growing locks.
“I need a haircut,” I decided. I’d have to get it before I went back in to work or people would stare and start more rumors.
I finished brushing my teeth and jumped into the shower. I took my time, letting the hot water pour over my skin, trying not to think of the two times I’d woken up after Jessi left me alone to wash away the evidence of what had happened between us. I couldn’t help it though, and I thought back to those two nights as well.
“Fuck,” I growled to myself, looking down at my rising cock.
I ended up getting myself off before I got out of the shower. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror to blow dry my hair and shave off the growing beard. Once I was satisfied with my look, I left the bathroom.
Back in the bedroom, I moved to the closet to try and decide what to wear. Most of my wardrobe consisted of formal wear or hiking gear and my work out clothes.
Maybe I could go out today. My fridge was getting a bit empty. Besides, I was going to have to get back into the outside world at some point, might as well start small.
I picked a shirt, a pair of slacks, and a belt, then put them on. I thought about putting on socks, but decided against them, picking out a pair of loafers. Dressed, I went to my living room and turned the TV on for background noise, picking up the tablet I’d left on my coffee table to check out the news.
An hour later, my doorbell rang.
I frowned to myself because I almost never got visitors. The few people who did visit me at home were family. Usually, it was just Mason. Kevin didn’t visit me, and Dad only dropped by at the office. I wasn’t sure who it was, but I got up to check my security monitor.
“Really?” I muttered, scowling at the man on the monitor.
I was suddenly glad I’d decided not to dress and walk around my home like a slob for the day. Dad had come for a visit.
With reluctance, I went to open the door. Dad had his back to me as he looked up and down the street, turning when he realized I was right behind him.
He looked just as I’d last seen him. We both had the same physique and were at the same height. He had the same blond hair and grey eyes as me. Plenty of people commented on how much we looked like each other, way too many in fact, like Dad was exactly what I would look like in twenty or so years. He was dressed in a polo-shirt and slacks with loafers, not so different from how I was dressed. My eyebrows shot up because it was rare to see Dad out of a suit, but I was more surprised to see him at my doorstep at all.
“Nice place you have here,” he said, looking around again before meeting my gaze. “Are you going to let me in, or are we going to do this at the door?”
I was so tempted to just have it out with him right there, but I didn’t need my neighbors looking on at any spectacle. Dad would be leaving soon but I still had to live here. No need to make things harder for myself. Still, it was with reluctance that I stepped aside for him to walk in.
“What are you doing here, Dad?” I asked, instead of a real greeting, just like he’d done. “Don’t you have a hotel to look after?”
He turned to give me a wry smile. He walked to the other side of my living room, where the glass gave the perfect view outside. Not as good as from my balcony, because there I could at least breathe in the mountain air along with the view, but I would hardly be taki
ng Dad to my room.
“I wondered how long I should wait to see you,” he said. “Before and after you found out the truth.”
“You can say it bluntly,” I said, voice thick with sarcasm. “You mean after I found out that you used Emily to lie about you having a heart attack, just to get me home.”
He had his back to me, hands in his pockets so I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, and exactly what he’d come to me for. After a minute of silence, I let out an explosive sigh.
“Seriously, Dad. What did you come here for? If its business, it can wait until I get back to my office. I’m taking the whole week off.”
Dad let out a sigh. “I came here to talk. Like really talk, like I should have a long time ago.”
I was left stunned, and I couldn’t say anything to that. It was exactly what I’d wanted, but now that he was here, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have this talk at all.
“We can start with your mother,” he said, his voice going gruff. “I know I wasn’t there for you as I should have been when she passed away. I was too busy dealing with my grief at the time, and by the time I realized that it was too late. You were still a young boy, but you were slowly making yourself independent.”
I swallowed back the sudden lump in my throat. “You don’t have to say anything, Dad.”
He went on as if he hadn't heard me.
“When I realized what I’d done, I thought about how to fix it. I knew I couldn’t be there for you as much as I would like, and I didn’t want to leave you to be raised by nannies. So, I figured it was time to start looking for a second wife, maybe too soon, and I found her and brought her home. I wasn’t sure I could love again after losing your mother, but I grew to love her, and I started a new family with her. Again, it was too late by the time I realized you were isolating yourself from that family instead of trying to be a part of it. That was my second mistake.”
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