"I'm not sure what to think. Our scheduled meeting was only a ruse for lunch? Not discussing business at lunch was a ploy to add dinner to the agenda? And dinner? Whether at a restaurant or as it turned out at my house, was only a prelude—"
"No!" He placed his fingers against her lips to stop her words. "Do not—not even for a second—allow that thought." His words were emphatic, his voice authoritative. "My only deception was letting you think turning our scheduled meeting into lunch was a spontaneous decision. I honestly intended for us to discuss our business over lunch, away from the office in a relaxed social setting. But as it turned out, lunch was so comfortable and enjoyable that I didn't want to get back to the subject of our business."
He pulled her closer, providing the warmth and personal connection she craved. "I hope I've explained everything so that you understand. And more than that, I sincerely hope you accept my apology."
Her past relationships had not turned out all that great. Perhaps it was that type of life experience that had turned her into a good judge of character. But what about now? Did she dare place her trust in him? Believe everything he said? She wanted to, she really wanted to. Was she allowing her physical desire for him to influence common sense? And that didn't address her growing personal closeness. She was ready for a committed relationship in her life and Parker Simmons was just the type of man to fill that position.
Then, as if their discussion had been declared finished, he gently shifted her position so he could tease her nipples with his tongue. They quickly responded to the stimulation, puckering into tautly pebbled points. He sucked at one, sending ripples of excitement through her body.
With a soft moan and the arching of her back, she totally dismissed any pretense at an objection and succumbed to his tempting touch and sensual seduction.
Chapter Three
Parker Simmons searched the cupboards in Carli's kitchen until he found what he was looking for…the coffee container. He measured the grounds into the filter, then turned on the pot to start it brewing. He found two mugs and set them on the counter next to the coffee pot, then he leaned back and waited.
His mind returned to the night he had just spent with Carli, a place his thoughts had been since he woke an hour ago. He'd stayed in bed, remaining very still so he wouldn't wake her as he tried to sort out everything. The warmth of her body next to him, the way her hair tousled around her face…a beautiful face, looking so desirable as she slept peacefully next to him.
It had been a very long time since anyone had such a profound impact on his senses, a long time since he had been so enamored of a woman. He didn't know where any of this would take him—take them—but he knew it had gone far enough that, like it or not, he needed to acknowledge the possibilities. His thoughts returned to the fleeting disagreement he and Carli had gotten into the previous night. Intellectually, he understood her train of thought and how she had come to the conclusions she had. But emotionally, he was still reeling a bit from the unexpected confrontation.
The treacherous waters of today's dating rituals were new to him. He had forgotten how tricky it could be, how it was as much a game as anything else. A game he didn't want to play. So he had retreated into the emotional safety of not considering anything beyond sex. But now he found himself in a position where he needed a plan of action.
Then the confusion invaded his mind again. Action to accomplish what? Where did he want this to go? Or did he want it to go anywhere beyond where it was? And equally confusing, what did Carli expect? Could he find some sort of neutral ground that would allow them to explore the possibilities, to take things slower than they had last night? He didn't want to make promises based on nothing more than what he thought she wanted to hear. He didn't like that type of hypocrisy. He shook his head in dismay as he took a calming breath. Why was he even thinking about making promises? Promises meant commitment and commitment was not on his to do list. He put an instant stop to his wandering thoughts before they went somewhere he wasn't prepared to go.
"Good morning."
He whirled around and his gaze took in the beautiful woman standing in the doorway. He couldn't have stopped the smile that spread across his face even if he wanted to. "Good morning, yourself. I hope I didn't wake you when I got out of bed. I tried to be quiet so you could sleep. I even got dressed in the living room."
She tightened the sash of her robe as she padded barefoot across the room toward him. "I'm an early riser. It doesn't matter what time I go to sleep at night, I always wake up about the same time." She gestured toward the coffee pot. "Did you find everything?"
"I hope you don't mind me helping myself. Coffee should be ready in a minute."
She returned his smile. "I don't mind at all. In fact, it's nice to have the coffee ready. I've been thinking about getting one of those coffee pots with a timer so I can set it before going to bed. But I really don't like shopping so I haven't…" Her voice trailed off to be replaced by an embarrassed laugh. A quick flush of crimson tinted her cheeks. "What I meant to say is, I don't like shopping for me and my necessities."
He brushed an errant lock of hair from her face, allowing his fingertips to linger against her skin as he studied her features—the sparkle in her eyes, the sexy way her tousled hair framed her face. "You look really good first thing in the morning." He leaned his face into hers, placing a tender kiss on her lips.
Carli's skin tingled where he touched it. Then her entire body quivered with excitement when he kissed her. She had been awake when he slipped out of bed, her mind trying to sort through everything that had happened. They had engaged in a brief confrontation, but quickly set it aside when they again fell into a tangle of arms and legs and hot sex.
It had been an unforgettable night filled with the most incredible sex of her life…definitely something she would always remember and hold dear. But now what? She was looking for someone with whom she could have a committed relationship, someone with whom to build a future. What was Parker looking for?
"Well," she ran her fingers through her tangled hair in an attempt to smooth it, "you were nice enough to prepare the coffee. The least I can do is fix breakfast."
A hint of a frown wrinkled across his forehead as he filled both mugs with freshly brewed coffee and handed one to her. He stared at the steam rising from his mug, his expression saying he was deep in thought. A ripple of anxiety darted across her skin followed by confusion bordering on apprehension. Had the moment she secretly dreaded come to fruition? Was she about to learn it had been nothing but a one-night stand and it had cost her a good client? A sick churning roiled in the pit of her stomach.
"Carli…" He made eye contact as he set his mug on the counter. "We need to talk."
Her worst fear had just hit her in the face. Or had it?
He took the mug from her and set it on the counter next to his, then grasped her hand and led her into the living room. The churning in her stomach pulled into a tight knot. Trepidation raced through her veins as she sat on the sofa where he indicated. He sat next to her, still clutching her hand in his.
"What's wrong, Parker?" She wished her voice sounded more confident than it did, but it was the best she could manage.
"I've been giving this a lot of thought. In fact, it's the only thing I've thought about for the last hour. I'm still troubled by our conversation last night. I want to make sure there isn't any misunderstanding, that we're both on the same page about what's happening here."
"Oh." Everything inside her sank. All her hopes and desires crashed. She felt as if someone had landed a hard punch to her euphoria, knocking her squarely back into the harsh light of day. "I see." She tried to pull herself together, to treat this setback in a mature, adult manner. "Does this mean you'll be cancelling our shopping agreement?"
Confusion covered his face as he tilted his head and stared at her. "Cancel our agreement? What are you talking about?"
"Aren't you telling me that last night was nothing more than sex, not to be taken s
eriously?"
"What the hell—" He pulled her into his embrace. "That's what you've been thinking? How the hell did this get so confused? You think I'm saying I got what I wanted and now you can fuck off?" He sucked in an audible breath. "You are wrong. I'm not saying anything of the sort."
He closed his eyes, leaned back into the corner of the sofa, and cradled her head against his shoulder. "Oh, shit…I'm making a complete mess of this. For someone who prides himself on his communication skills, I'm totally screwing this up. Let me start over."
A little flicker of hope tried to catch hold. An ember somewhere deep inside her sparked to life. Had she so completely misread the situation? Allowed her insecurities and fears to dictate her reaction rather than responding to the situation on its own merits?
"What's going on, Parker? You have me so confused. I had reservations about our, uh, involvement because you're a client. I've always felt that it wasn't wise to mix business with personal." Her voice trailed off to a whisper. "At least, something this personal."
She slowly shook her head, not at all sure what to say but giving in to the self-inflicted pressure to say something. "I kept telling myself it would be okay. Then to find out you purposely mislead me about lunch, then you showed up at my house with condoms…well, I can only think of one explanation to cover everything that happened yesterday."
"So you decided the explanation had to be that I was playing you?" His tone of voice in no way accused. To the contrary, he carried a neutral connotation that didn't reveal anything that he might have been thinking.
Parker placed a tender kiss on her lips, nothing hot or demanding, just gentle and caring. He had to find the proper words to make this right without inadvertently offering any type of commitment or saying something she might misinterpret. He already felt a unique connection to her. Perhaps it might grow into something more given time. But for now, he did not want to rush something that might not have a chance of surviving long term. He did not want another failed relationship. Yet his attraction to her…
"Carli…" He paused to make sure he had all his thoughts straight. "What I told you last night was the complete truth with nothing added and nothing left out. Changing our meeting to the restaurant with a sincere intention of discussing business over lunch was a decision I made prior to your arrival. The condoms were honestly a spontaneous moment as I was walking out the door. I wasn't expecting anything other than an enjoyable dinner with a special woman I care about and respect. The fact that the evening took on a life of its own was as much a surprise to me as it was to you."
He ran his fingers through her hair and placed another kiss on her forehead. "I honestly don't know where any of this is going, but I'm willing…I mean…" Suddenly the words came spilling out of their own volition, as if he had no control over what he was saying. "I'd like to explore the possibilities and see where they take us. How about you?"
"You mean take it one day at a time? What about our business arrangement? Will that be one day at a time, too?"
He heard the hesitation in her voice, the uncertainty and the concern. It was the same type of caution he felt. At least, he imagined it to be the same. He wasn't that sure of anything at the moment. "I see it as two different situations. We already know we have a smooth and successful working relationship and everyone knows you don't mess with success. As to the personal… I feel confident that I can separate our business association from the personal so that one doesn't have an impact on the other. Can you do that?"
He held his breath as he waited for her response. He honestly didn't know what else to do or say. He could not make a commitment to her. He could not jump from a bad marriage directly into an unknown relationship arena. The sex was great, but it exploded out of nowhere. No matter how terrific the night had been, hot sex did not make for a sound foundation to construct a lasting relationship.
"One step at a time?" She tilted her head and made eye contact with him. "That's probably the most prudent and logical thing for us to—"
"Prudent and logical? That sounds very formal…highly impersonal. In fact, it sounds like the type of language an attorney would use in a legal document, very stiff and regimented." His heartbeat increased as the anxiety pulsed through his body. Was he digging himself a hole and burying all his chances at finding new happiness in his life? Finding new happiness in my life?
Where the hell did that come from? The words definitely sounded like someone looking to the future. Treacherous waters of dating was definitely an understatement. "Is that the way I came across to you? It certainly wasn't what I meant."
He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck as he stood up. "I'm sorry. I seem to be totally fucking this up." He picked up his jacket from where he had draped it across the back of a chair the night before and withdrew an envelope from the inside pocket. He held it out to her.
"I went over the Christmas list you gave me and made all the appropriate changes. Here's this year's revised holiday shopping list."
Carli took the envelope from his hand. "Thank you." She whispered the words as she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to clear her mind. She had never been involved in a more confusing or convoluted conversation, at least not in the last seven years since her divorce.
Parker had just given her the go ahead on Christmas, so he obviously didn't intend to terminate their business arrangement. But what about the fact that they had spent an incredible night engaged in hot sex followed the next morning by uncertainty and awkwardness? How did that factor into things?
"I, uh, I think it might be better if I didn't stay for breakfast. Apparently my actions and words have upset you even though that was the farthest thing from my intention." He stared at the floor, his brow wrinkled in concentration as if he were trying to decide what to say. "We seem to be veering off in a wrong direction."
She felt her eyes widen in surprise, the same shock that ran rampant through her reality. "What do you mean?"
"Maybe it would be better if we stepped back for a little bit and took a fresh look at what's going on." He placed a tender kiss on her lips, allowing the physical contact to linger for a moment. "I'll call you."
She watched in stunned silence as he walked out the front door. She heard his car start, but it seemed like several minutes before she heard him drive away. Almost as if he had sat there for a while considering his options.
****
Black Friday…the day after Thanksgiving when shoppers lined up in front of stores to take advantage of the before-Christmas sales. Carli had made of point of never doing her shopping on that day. She preferred to avoid the crush of the crowds, shopping online for some items and going to specialty stores for other items.
But this year, Black Friday had a different connotation. Rather than the original meaning of it being the day retailers operated in the black at total profit for the rest of the year, for her it represented a dark and depressing emotional low point in her life. A place she never thought she would be again.
It had been one week since Parker walked out her door, one week since she had seen him. True to his word, he had called her. In fact, he had called twice, but each conversation had been brief and awkward. He had basically asked how she was then engaged in meaningless chit-chat for a couple of minutes. He had given no hint of what was really on his mind.
She felt as if she were in some sort of limbo. Had he thought about her even half as much as her thoughts had centered on him? One minute she found herself vowing she would do whatever it took to get him back, to have a committed relationship with the most desirable man she had ever known. But getting him back implied that at one time she had him.
Then the next minute, she decided it was better this way, to break it off now rather than becoming even more involved by pursuing something that would eventually break her heart when it fell apart. Maybe a committed relationship and ultimately that happily-ever-after were only a fairy tale and not part of real life. She slowly shook her head as the despondency settl
ed over her. How could something that seemed so right suddenly be so wrong?
Brushing aside her despair, she turned her attention to her own personal day-after-Thanksgiving ritual—decorating her house and yard for Christmas. Hopefully, that would lift her spirits and put her in a holiday mood. She separated all her decorations into two groups, inside decorations stacked in the living room and outside decorations in their boxes on the porch. She wanted to do something different this year rather than repeating the same style from previous years. She wanted some sort of change in her life.
Sadness invaded the moment as her thoughts returned to Parker and their one—and apparently only—night of heated passion. She had believed he would be that change in her life until the cruel light of dawn dashed all those hopes. Now, she had only an empty spot inside her, a memory of what could have been, and no idea of how to fill that emptiness.
As much as she tried to figure it out, she could only come up with one reason why he had behaved as he had—things had moved too quickly and truly scared him. He simply wasn't ready yet. And when the time arrived that he was ready, would he think of her as anything other than a business associate and one of several women who ended up being temporary sex partners? A single tear ran down her cheek and a sob caught in her throat.
She forced all the negative thoughts aside and concentrated her efforts on doing her Christmas decorating.
The weather had turned cold and windy, a perfect day to stay inside with a fire in the fireplace. She put some logs on the grate, added kindling underneath, and lit it. It didn't take long for the logs to catch and produce a crackling fire. She stood in front of the flames and warmed her hands, but it didn't warm the icy fear clinging to her.
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