‘He’s ok?’
‘Yeah, I think so. The ambo’ came and they took ‘im off to hospital for a few stitches.’
‘So what did the cops say?’
‘Not much really. Just wanted a statement from me, which took ages and they wouldn’t let me call anyone until it was finished. But they said it was a robbery that somehow went pear shaped,’ Narelle explained as she brought the plates to the table. ‘Dig in Big Fella.’
‘Thanks. I’m starving.’
‘The cops reckon there was someone who saw the guys in the van and was the one chuckin’ rocks at the windows. Weird huh?’
‘Well,’ Hal said in between a gulp of scrambled eggs, ‘at least you’re ok. That’s the main thing.’
‘S’pose so,’ Narelle said pensively. ‘So what did ya’ get up to last night?’
‘Just some TV and nodded off. Lazy as usual,’ he laughed and just avoided launching a mouthful of crispy bacon in Narelle’s direction.
‘Well, I’ve got to get to Mum’s this morning t’ help her with her Tupperware party this arvo. So don’t forget the meat. Oh, and I think we’re a bit light on for beer too.’
‘Easy. Don’t worry. And I’ll clean the barbie as well.’
Normality
Although stumbling a few times, and getting a little confused with his work roster, Hal managed to get through his first weeks back home with Narelle and start to live a normal routine life again. He was very happy to hear from Narelle that the Brekky Creek had upgraded their security after the robbery scare, and she felt much safer at work when she was on night shift. Always close to broke but he managed to scrape his part-time salary from his security job together with his allowance that was still coming each month to get by. A new surf board and wet suit would have to wait until he could find a better job, as he was readying himself for his allowance to stop quite soon.
Whatever happened, he had Narelle now plus his rented house and a backyard to have barbecues and spend warm tropical evenings with friends. As the months ticked by, Hal put his adventures, whether imagined or real, behind. There was nothing to be gained from trying to analyse or understand. Far better to take life as it came and enjoy it.
‘Hey Hal, you got a minute?’
‘Sure boss,’ Hal replied and followed his supervisor into his office.
‘Look Hal, you’ve been doing a great job and I was wondering if you’d like to consider changing from your twelve hours a week part-time to full time? We’ve got some new contracts, and instead of hiring new blokes, I thought I’d see if a couple of you on part-time might want more work first.’
‘Sure. So what? Full time as in forty hours?’
‘Thirty-seven and a half, but shift work of course.’
‘But my hourly rate would drop, wouldn’t it?’
‘Nope. Same rate Hal.’
‘I don’t know what to say? Of course I’ll take it. Thank you for thinking of me.’
‘Great Hal. Well after an initial three month probation period, you’ll get more firearms, first aid and surveillance training.’
‘Oh that’s great. Thanks.’
‘So when can you start your new roster?’
‘Whenever you want.’
‘Ok Hal, I’ll get HR to prepare a new work contract for you to start full time on Monday. So pop back in of Friday and I’ll have it ready for you.’
‘Sure will.’
*****
Hal waited until he had his new contract signed and his own copy before telling Narelle. On his way home from work on Friday, with his contract in his pocket, he bought a bunch of carnations and a bottle of champagne.
‘Suki da,’ he said as he opened the front door.
‘Suki yo,’ came the reply from the kitchen. ‘Hungry?’
‘You bet,’ Hal said as he arrived in the kitchen and offered the carnations in one hand and the champagne in the other.
‘Oh Hal,’ Narelle said and hugged him and gave him a big kiss. ‘So, what’s the special occasion Big Fella?’ she asked as she hunted around for a vase for the flowers.
‘A surprise.’
‘Oh yeah? So when do I get to find out then?’
‘Well, as soon as you stop flapping about with the carnations.’
‘Ready!’ she said as she laid the bunch of carnations carefully down on the kitchen table and looked up at Hal with her hands behind her back and wearing a big cheesy smile.
‘Close your eyes.’
‘Ok. Can’t see,’ Narelle said as she squished he eyes shut and Hal pulled his new contract from his pocket and held it up.
‘Ok, you can look now.’
‘Oh Hal! That’s fantastic,’ she squealed and hugged him tight, crushing the contract between them. ‘This really is a champagne moment Big Fella.’
‘But wait. There’s more,’ Hal said using the line from a television commercial.
‘Free steak knives?’
‘Nope.’
‘Buy one get two free?’
‘Nope.’
‘I give up.’
‘I start work on Monday at a new contract the company has signed.’
‘Yes, and?’
‘The Brekky Creek!’
Happily Ever After
With Hal’s odd recent past, imagined or not, almost fully locked away and forgotten after three years, his life with Narelle blossomed. Both working very hard but enjoying the fruits of their labours. Albeit with a huge mortgage around their necks on their new house, which they moved into after they returned from their short honeymoon in Port Douglas. Their house was a Queenslander of course with a big back yard, complete with a new built-in brick barbecue under a long white pergola. Hal had proposed to Narelle the Christmas before, and by Easter they were married.
Although thoughts of the Camera Stellata, strange planets and his estranged family came to his mind from time to time, they were becoming less frequent. Of course there were times when a stray memory or totally unconnected comment triggered something in his mind.
‘Penny for your thoughts?’ Narelle asked as she snuggled up to Hal on their sofa watching a movie.
‘Oh, just how lucky we are.’
‘Yup. We are.’
Hal hadn’t lied as he was certainly thinking how lucky he was. But he didn’t mention that he was thinking about other things as well. Today was the day his father dies. Or was it died? That thought brought along with it more than a head full of what ifs.
‘Suki yo Big Fella.’
‘Suki da Narelle.’
‘I’ve got a surprise for yooouu,’ Narelle said with her lips pursed and gave Hal a peck on the cheek.
‘Oh yes?’
Narelle took Hal’s hand and placed it gently on her stomach.
‘You mean….? Hal spluttered.
‘Yup Big Fella. You’re gonna be a daddy.’
Hal hugged Narelle, and all of his earlier thoughts were blown away by a sudden whirlwind of delight. ‘Oh Narelle. I don’t know what to say.’
‘Happy?’
‘Oh I can’t begin to tell you how happy. So when?’
‘Early February.’
‘An Aquarius.’
‘You betch’ya’ Big Fella.’
*****
The thrill of being an expectant father took Hal’s mind completely away from anything except the present and future. Nothing mattered anyway, now that he could feel the movement of their baby inside Narelle’s tummy. Their only thoughts were on their baby, choosing names, painting the baby’s bedroom and wondering if it was a girl or boy. Both agreed that they didn’t want to know in advance. Of course Narelle would stop work soon, and on one salary things would be tight again, but that didn’t matter. They were going to be a family.
Hal didn’t notice that no one contacted him about his father. Nor did he notice not receiving a letter from some unknown London solicitor. Although he had been notified that his allowance would definitely end on his twenty-fifth birthday, but he knew that already. Sometimes w
hen he watched the news, he half wondered about the Camera Stellata, but then just let the thought slip.
‘Just going to pop down to the shopping centre for gas for the barbie Narelle,’ Hal shouted from the back door.
‘Oh Hal,’ Narelle said as she came running from the kitchen. ‘Could ya’ grab a couple of hundred bucks from the Bancomat. I’m a bit short of cash and I need to pay Mrs Haversham when I pick up the baby clothes and pram this afternoon.’
‘Ok. Sure. See you after. Suki da!’
‘Suki yo!’
Hal walked down the steps to the car and gave Narelle a wave when he noticed her in the kitchen window as he drove away. After he’d refilled the barbecue gas cylinder, he bought a newspaper and decided to pop into the supermarket as he suddenly remembered there was a sale on barbecue tools. Somehow he’d managed to bend his favourite pair of tongs and they didn’t work so well with sausages any more. Once back in the car he was just about to head off home.
‘Damn. The cash for Narelle,’ he cursed under his breath then turned off the car and trotted back to the Bancomat. An old lady in front of him was dithering around and at first couldn’t find her card, then couldn’t remember her PIN number, then when she finally got that sorted, she entered the wrong amount it seemed and she started all over again. Hal crossed his arms, tapped his foot and waited. Then at last she had her cash, but by the time she’d put it in her purse, found her other purse for her card and receipt and got everything back into her handbag another ten minutes had passed.
After a long wait, Hal got to the machine and popped his card in, entered his PIN code and then selected a two hundred dollar withdrawal with receipt. He wanted to check that his salary had gone in on the twenty-fifth. The machine started to make all its money vending noises, then invited Hal to remove his card, and collect his cash and receipt. He slid the card back into his wallet and the cash for Narelle into his pocket. Then he took a quick glance at the receipt.
‘$200.00 withdrawn today.
Balance $58,879,655.44’
‘Shit! Atchoom!’
Hoopla
Deep below the Vatican in a very secret chamber, Matilda Hoop voted on a motion confirming a new Secretary-General to head the United Nations. In a very short period of time she had proved to be an exemplary member of the Camera Stellata following the unfortunate death of her brother in a mining accident in Australia. Although no body parts were ever found, William Minor-Morris, Sir Bradley Sidebottom and Lord Suttcliffe had been advised by Grand Councillor Heptuss Kklaakk that there was more than enough evidence to prove that Halbert Horatio Hoop had been crushed to death and then dissolved in a plitzominium smelter on Titania. After making the necessary adjustments to their archives to record that Halbert Hoop was killed in a mining accident in the Hunter Valley, just north of Sydney, the file was forthwith conveniently closed and Matilda was appointed to fill the vacancy some time later after completing an outstanding initiation period.
While her mother still lived in peace at Hoop Manor, she was starting to lose her faculties and marbles, so it was quite convenient for Matilda to have a very part time occupation with the Camera Stellata, which allowed her to care for her mother and practice her needlework. Unfortunately, she’d had little success in finding a suitable, or even unsuitable husband. It was made clear to Matilda by a few wise voices of the Camera Stellata that this situation had to be rectified as she now had a grave responsibility to produce an heir. To this end she accepted an offer of marriage by Sir Duggley Smith-Smythe QC MP, an ageing member of the Camera Stellata to assist in correcting the situation. Of course her Mother Hilda was delighted as finally, she had a QC MP in her family.
A new Pope had been selected following the death of his predecessor, by agreement with Gloth following submissions from Sandro Gregorian, and things got back to normal once again. Profits were flowing so all was well in the Glothic Empire and its little Roman outpost.
Meanwhile in a very small town, rather oddly named Seventeen Seventy, which is located on the Discovery Coast, within the Southern Great Barrier Reef Marine Park region of Queensland, a very tall man with long reddish hair and a red beard walked along the beach with his pretty blonde wife by his side and his baby daughter in his arms. The beach, only a stone’s throw from their house, a large rambling Queenslander, built in seclusion on twenty acres of pristine forest, complete with a swimming pool and an enormous terraced barbeque area, it nestled discreetly in the trees behind Captain Cook Drive, pretty much the only road in town. They had built the house following a rather fortuitous inheritance and with astute investments in secret Swiss private banking accounts, their life was financially secure.
Although new to the district, having only moved there a year before after the completion of their new house, they were fitting in well with the locals and especially enjoyed long walks on the beach, surfing, barbecues and visits by friends and family from Brisbane. Due to his height and hair colour, the locals had quite quickly nicknamed him Haggis, which he didn’t mind at all, though his wife still called him Big Fella. Even though he denied it continually, the local XXXX drinkers always liked to tell yarns about when Haggis played lock for Scotland, on warm Friday and Saturday evenings at the local Tea Tree Bar.
As he walked with his baby daughter Saffron in his arms he looked out across the crystal blue waters of the Great Barrier Reef.
‘Suki da Narelle.’
‘Suki yo Big Fella.’
The End
Also by Derek Haines
Louis
Dead Men
Milo Moon
One Last Love
Eyes That Could Kill
My Take Away Vampire
February The Fifth
Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood
March – A Tale of Salmon and Swedes
The Glothic Tales Trilogy
The Sons of Cleito
The Few
Cut In Three
About The Author
Derek Haines is an author of quite a number of books, however, he spends most of his time blogging, making technology go horribly wrong, and being a rather senior ESL English teacher.
Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland with his wife and his black Cocker Spaniel, he passes many hours, trying to make technology work again, after inadvertently breaking it. It's a painful process, yet it’s such an effective self-study method in acquiring new technological skills.
As I’m a writer – I can change adroitly from the third person into the first person, and say that I love what I do and where I live, and also, that I am a Douglas Adams fanatic, bordering on a tragic. So much so, that by some spooky coincidence, my street address is 42. That’s so much more impressive than simply owning a towel and having ready access to peanuts and beer.
However, peanuts and beer are extremely important, as they provide essential sustenance during my bouts of obsessive writing, which although rare, usually take place in a horizontal position. I should mention here that I am very fond of acronyms, anagrams, allegories and alliteration, also.
In addition, I quite like commas. The Oxford type, or otherwise. However, quite perversely, I am not enamoured by quotation marks. I use them, singularly if possible, but even then, only under sufferance. As for semicolons; who really knows how to use them?
Aside from my never-ending punctuation conundrums, I enjoy life, good food, wine, beer, and I take each day as it comes – thankfully.
www.derekhaines.ch
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The Adventures of HAL: The Second Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 2) Page 20