by Kris Tualla
Selby gripped the arms of the chair and pushed herself to her feet. She took three small steps toward him thinking this must be how a convicted criminal felt walking into his lifetime of imprisonment.
She laid her hand in Teigen’s and let him pull her the rest of the way until she stood between his knees.
“I’m just going to kiss you,” he assured her. “Nothing else.”
“Oh.” Surprised relief calmed her nerves. “Okay.”
Teigen let go of her hand and placed one palm on either side of her head.
Selby closed her eyes.
When Teigen’s lips touched hers she immediately knew that this kiss wasn’t going to be like the first one. Nor was it going to be like the time she kissed him.
And it certainly wasn’t going to resemble the nightly affectionate pecks he began giving her once her jaw felt better.
This kiss was going to rock her to her very center.
His lips invited her in. Again. And again.
When she didn’t resist the kiss deepened until his tongue played with hers. She felt his breath on her cheek and the roughness of his days-old beard.
It felt surprisingly good. Teigen was a big man with a strong and hardened frame—one that could harm her or protect her. To understand that he chose to protect her with his body sent a hot tendril of hope through her veins.
Selby hummed a surprised sigh and leaned into Teigen.
His hands moved down her neck and around her back. He slid forward a little and held her tightly against him, chest to chest and hips to hips. Selby clearly felt his arousal.
She waited fearfully for revulsion to douse her with glacier water and end this precarious experiment once and for all.
It didn’t.
Selby decided to push the issue. She looped her arms around his neck and pressed her hips against his groin. Then she moved just a little from side to side.
Teigen groaned. His hands dropped to her hips and held them still. He broke away from the kiss, panting, and rested his forehead against hers.
“Good God, woman. What are you doing?” he croaked.
“I have to know,” she whispered. “I have to know when I’ll break.”
“Are you going to break?”
She swallowed. “Not yet.”
Teigen pulled back and looked at her. His pupils were so wide that there was only the faintest ring of green around them. The intensity in his gaze screamed his desire for her.
But it didn’t scare her.
When he leaned in to kiss her again she met him full force. They held on to each other, one deep and passionate kiss following another, until her lips were swollen and her cheek sore from the scratch of his whiskers.
Selby pulled away at last. “That’s enough.”
Teigen ran one finger gently along her jaw line. “How do you feel?”
Hopeful. “I—I liked it,” she admitted.
“Me, too.” Teigen smiled crookedly. “Obviously.”
Even his reference to his arousal didn’t shake her. What was happening to her?
“We should go…” Her suggestion to call it a night, though logical, felt wrong somehow, and that made her uncomfortable in a way she didn’t expect. “Tomorrow’s Christmas.”
What does that have to do with anything?
She needed time alone right now. She had a lot to think about.
“You’re right.” Teigen pushed her back and got off the desk. He adjusted his trousers. “I’ll walk you to your door as usual.”
“Nothing’s changed,” she murmured, knowing it was a lie.
“Same as before.” Teigen’s grin proved he knew it was a lie as well. “Happy Christmas, my love.”
December 25, 1943
Teigen sat at breakfast waiting for Selby and reading the letter he had just been handed when she dropped into the seat beside him.
“Good morning.” Her voice was soft and held the hint of their secret. “Did you sleep well?”
“Not very, to be honest.” He examined her expression looking for hints of her thoughts. “You?”
“Better than I expected.” She reached for the platter of eggs in the middle of the table. “But not for the first three hours.”
Deciding to move away from the personal topic for now, Teigen held up the letter. “This came from Dahl.”
Selby’s brow shot upward. “He wrote to you? But I’m the ranking officer.”
Teigen pressed back every trace of a smile that the petulant tone in her voice prompted. “To be fair, I wrote him first. I sent him a note saying we arrived safely and that you were going to be all right.”
“Oh.” Her expression eased and she looked contrite. “That was good of you.”
“And I wrote him again a couple weeks ago saying that we’d be returning soon.” Teigen handed her the letter which he had already read.
Greetings.
I’m glad to hear that both of you are well and anxious to return to the Troupe. That will be good news to the rest.
As for us, Karolina sufficed as Kate. We completed our performances in Trondheim and Ålesund, but the terrible and unprovoked treatment Selby received at the hand of the Nazi officer has weighed heavily on all of us.
I decided to postpone our Bergen performances until after the New Year, and all the members of the Troupe were given time off for Christmas. Those who wish to continue to be part of our group will meet in Bergen the first week of January.
Ben sends his greeting especially, but says while he misses you, he doesn’t miss his lessons. He and Bennett are staying with me in Bergen for the holiday. Watch out ladies: three bachelors on the prowl. Ha!
I hope you and Selby will be able to join us here soon. Happy Christmas to you both.
Dahl
Selby raised her eyes to his. “That settles it. We’ll leave on the next Shetland Bus.”
Teigen reclaimed his letter. “I still want Doctor McKean to check you over one last time.”
Selby rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. Or I will be. When is the next Shetland Bus?”
*****
“January first. New Year’s Day,” James Adie told Teigen later. “We figure that even Germans celebrate the incoming year with plenty of drink, so it’s a safe time to sail from that perspective.”
“The boat lands here on the thirty-first and sails back the next day?” Teigen clarified. “Selby and I would like to be on it.”
“You’re sure about going back?”
Teigen nodded. “We’re both Milorg officers and we want to rejoin our troupe.”
James looked uncertain. “Is it safe?”
Teigen huffed a laugh. “Nowhere in Norway is safe. But that doesn’t change anything, does it?”
After finishing his conversation with James, Teigen went in search of Selby. Since last night his resolve was firmly set and time was running out.
“Where does the boat land?” she asked when he told her he’d secured their passage.
“Telavåg. Do you know it?” That’s where Tor had sailed from.
Selby frowned in thought. “It’s a village on the outer coast. About twenty-five miles from Bergen, I think.”
“Good. That’s not too far.” Teigen nodded his satisfaction. “We can hire a driver to take us into Bergen from there.”
Selby sighed. “This is going to be a very long week.”
“That depends on what we have to accomplish before we go,” Teigen offered.
Selby shot him a skeptical look. “What do we have to accomplish? Neither one of us has much to pack.”
“Well…” Teigen looked directly into Selby’s eyes, willing her to agree with his plan. “There’s our wedding.”
Her shoulders fell. “Oh, Teig.”
He stepped closer and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her as deeply as he had the night before, and he didn’t stop until he felt her stiffened frame relax.
“It only makes sense, Sel,” he whispered into her hair as he clasped her against his chest. “If we g
o back as husband and wife then we can share a hotel room. We can continue working on what we started last night.”
“But what if it doesn’t work?” she mumbled against his shirt.
“We won’t know until we try.” He rubbed her back. “And there’s no way for us to have any privacy here.”
Selby tilted her head back and looked up at him. “Why don’t we just share a hotel room anyway? The world already believes I’m a Nazi whore.”
Teigen shook his head. “But you’re not. And I won’t let the world think you are for one minute longer.”
“Does it matter?” she pressed.
“It does to me,” he declared. “I won’t have the mother of my children be thought of like that.”
That seemed to startle her. “You’re really serious about this.”
“Of course I am.”
“You want to marry me here before we leave, and take the risk of a sexless marriage?”
“Not exactly,” he said quietly. “I expect you to let me put a couple of children in you before you shut me out of your bed forever.”
Her jaw dropped in shock, but he continued, “That won’t happen until after the war, of course. Assuming we’re both still alive.”
That last statement definitely startled her. “We can’t wait for another chance…”
He pushed her head against his heart and rested his chin in her hair. “Do you think we can?”
For a long time she held him without answering, her arms wrapped around his waist and her ear to his heart. Teigen literally bit his tongue to keep from saying anything else. This was Selby’s moment of truth and she needed to come to her decision by herself.
He felt her take a breath and she cleared her throat with it.
“Ask me again.”
Teigen loosened his grip and looked down at her. “Selby Hovland, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Though she looked as frightened as the scared little girl she claimed to be, her jaw was set. “Yes, Teigen. I will.”
December 29, 1944
Selby stood in the narthex of the fifty-year-old Garthspool Evangelical Church in the center of Lerwick and wondered if she’d completely lost her mind.
Helga Adie was so excited about the impromptu wedding that she managed to find Selby a cream-colored wedding dress that reached her ankles, a short veil, and a few hot-house flowers.
“We’ll have your reception lunch here, of course.” Helga adjusted the shoulders of the dress. “Let me take in the back a little.”
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble,” Selby objected.
“Oh yes I do!” Helga said between the pins now held in her teeth. “I needed something happy to end another terrible year with, and the love story between you and Teigen is just the thing.”
“We don’t have rings,” Selby pointed out to her fiancé after the fitting. “This is too rushed.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Teigen promised. “Trust me.”
The chapel was filled with current residents from the refugee center, mostly new arrivals and total strangers to her. Apparently Helga wasn’t the only person grasping at straws of normalcy and hope.
When the organist began to play, Selby stepped into the opening from the narthex and looked down the aisle. Teigen, wearing a dark blue suit that almost fit, waited for her by the altar with a ridiculously happy grin on his face.
Since she had no one to give her away, Selby walked the length of the chapel by herself. Her heartbeat thumped in her chest and the hot-house flowers trembled visibly in her hands.
When she reached Teigen she stood beside him and faced the pastor. The ceremony passed her in a blur, and it wasn’t until Teigen slipped a ring on her finger that her thoughts cleared.
She looked down at the gold band encircling her third finger, then up at her new husband. “Where—”
He winked and tapped his forefinger against his lips.
“…man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
When he did, Selby forgot her question. All she could think was: Faenmeg! I’m married.
Chapter
Thirty Seven
January 3, 1944
Bergen, Norway
Teigen watched his wife sleep. Today they were meeting up with The Royal Shakespearean Acting Troupe to resume their positions. He wondered if any of their former colleagues had jumped ship during the hiatus or if all had remained committed to their mission.
He and Selby also needed to collect their last two months’ salaries. He planned to use his to buy wedding rings to replace the one he borrowed for their ceremony and returned afterward.
And today they would tell the rest of the troupe that he and Selby were married.
Teigen stretched under the covers and yawned while Selby slept peacefully beside him. That was step one.
He had been careful to respect her pace. He didn’t sleep in the same room as she until they left the center in Lerwick. They slept in the same cabin on the fishing boat—in bunks. Now settled in at their regular hotel, he finally spent the night in the same bed as his wife.
Full intimacy was still a long way off. But Teigen had learned patience in the labor camp. Take each day as it comes and don’t look too far ahead. One foot in front of the other.
That was how you remained sane.
Selby stirred and stretched.
“Good morning,” he greeted her.
Selby’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled. “Looks like I’ll never be cold again. Lying next to you is like lying next to a radiator.”
Teigen chuckled. “You’re welcome.”
“What time is it?”
Teigen looked over his shoulder at the clock on his night table. “Seven forty-five. We better get going.”
Half an hour later they descended the stairs to the lobby.
“It doesn’t take me as long in the morning without messing with the wigs,” Selby told him as she exited the bathroom. “But I do need to find out where my make-up case is.”
Teigen shaved the night before after checking into the hotel and borrowing a razor from Ben. Apparently the teen had spent the last three days in the lobby waiting for him to arrive.
He greeted Teigen with a bear hug and followed him and Selby up to their shared room. When Teigen let Selby go in first and prepared to follow her, Ben looked alarmed.
“Don’t worry, Ben,” Teigen told him. “Nothing is going on that won’t be explained tomorrow.”
“Okay…” Ben considered him suspiciously from under lowered brows. “I’ll bring the razor.”
When they walked into the dining room Dahl, Ben, Bennett, and Karolina were already there. While Karolina jumped up and hugged Selby, the waiter hurried over and pulled a second table alongside the first to make room for the new arrivals to join the group.
“You made it!” Dahl stood and shook Teigen’s hand. “It’s good to see you both again!”
Teigen observed all the curious glances at Selby. Not only were the others wondering about her recovery, but she appeared this morning in her natural hair and without make-up.
He saw her cheeks brighten as she took a seat at the expanded table. Clearly she noticed the scrutiny, too.
Dahl was the first to speak. “You look wonderful, Sel.”
The color in her cheeks deepened. “Thanks.”
“How do you feel?” Bennett asked.
“My ribs and jaw still hurt a little,” she said. “And of course my nose will never be the same.”
Ben frowned. “I think it looks fine.”
Selby smiled at the teen. “Thank you, Ben. That’s sweet.”
The boy’s blush outstripped Selby’s.
Teigen sat next to Selby as he asked Dahl. “Is everyone coming back?”
“As far as I know, yes.” He threw up flat palms. “That’s a relief. We can go forward without scrambling.”
“Except for the role of Kate,” Karolina said softly. She looked at Dahl, not Selby.
“No, t
he role is yours,” Selby stated. “You started it, so you might as well finish it.”
Karolina turned to Selby. Her eyes rounded hopefully. “Are you sure?”
“I am. I’ll start working on what’s next.” Selby glanced at Dahl. “If that’s okay with you, of course.”
Teigen noticed the brief disappointment that dampened Dahl’s expression but it disappeared quickly. “If you still need time to heal, I have no objection.”
After stubbornly insisting to Teigen that she was fine, he wondered if Selby would rise to the bait. He was surprised when she didn’t.
“I’ve been thinking about switching roles anyway.” His wife’s declaration surprised everyone at the table, including Teigen. “I’m not going to play Nazi consort any more, so it makes sense to let someone else have the spotlight.”
Dahl leaned forward, concern sculpting his face. “Are you afraid of something like that happening again?”
Selby blanched and glanced at Teigen. “I might be.”
“Because you can still be lead actress and not date Nazis,” the director and leading man pointed out.
Karolina looked pouty. “Maybe we could take turns?”
Selby faced her. “Turns at what? Dating Nazis or taking the lead role?”
Now Karolina blanched. “I don’t want to date Nazis.”
“Maybe taking turns as the lead actress would be a good idea.” Dahl was obviously trying not to lose Selby. “Or deciding depending on the play…”
Selby turned back to Dahl. “What’s the next play?”
He looked like a man in the crosshairs. “I haven’t decided. Do you have a suggestion?”
“The Comedy of Errors has two lead female parts.” The occupants of the table turned surprised faces to Ben.
“What?” He looked at the other five people at the table. “I told you I love Shakespeare.”
“That’s actually a very good suggestion, Ben.” Selby returned her regard to Dahl. “What do you think?”
Teigen would bet his coming two months’ salary that Dahl would do anything to keep Selby prominently onstage—especially since her beating was national news—so the actor’s answer was no surprise.