by Fox, Natalie
His lips grew more insistent, tempting her back into his heart, wanting her. His arms, around her back now, held her firmly and yet were not imprisoning her. She could get away if she wanted to and he was giving her the choice. She didn’t want to be free, though. She wanted what he was offering—another chance. She wanted it all—him and his love, his heart and all that went with it. The length of his body pressed hard against hers, his passion evident, his need as powerful as hers. His mouth scoured her face and her throat, hot and urgent, making up for so much lost time.
At last he drew back to look down on her swollen lips as he slid open the buttons down the front of her shirt, waiting for some sort of verbal response to what he was doing, exposing her vulnerability, tempting her sexuality as his fingers splayed across her exposed breasts.
She closed her eyes, biting at her lower lip as her breasts swelled under his tender touch. She could only part her lips in silent submission because to speak would be to bring reality flying at her from all sides.
She felt his warm mouth on her nipple and pure sensation coursed down her spine, a delicious feeling that excited and increased her heartbeat till she could hear it drumming in her ears.
‘I thought you would have changed,’ he whispered huskily against her scented skin. ‘But you haven’t. It’s all exactly as I left it—soft, warm, inviting. Are you inviting me, darling?’
She blinked open her eyes then and, wide and imploring, they stared up at him. How could she answer a question like that when her heart was crying out for so much of him? He made the request sound so simple but it was loaded with complexities, and those complexities were hitting her now, overriding the decision of her heart and putting sense in front of everything else.
‘Mel…I don’t know…’ Confused, she tried to draw back from him, to get space between them to clear her head, but he wouldn’t allow it. He held her firmly against him, tempting her with the pressure of need that throbbed between them. She couldn’t think when temptation was so close, him so near, crucifying her with a need she had tried so hard to banish from her soul.
‘You know that I want you,’ he murmured. ‘The passion is still there for us, after all this time, and—’
‘And it would be wrong to give in to it, Mel,’ she implored faintly, her legs like jelly, scarcely able to hold her up. She struggled for words, honest words. ‘I…I want you too but, Mel, it isn’t just us.’
‘Nadia?’
She lowered her spinning head. The mention of her name was enough to engulf her with shame. This betrayal of Nadia for her own selfish reasons, her love and need for Mel, was all wrong.
‘And yet four years ago—’
She didn’t let him finish. She willed her hands up and pushed at his chest, her fists small and powerless against his hard strength. The futility of it all angered her as he held her ever more strongly.
Her eyes shot poison at him because it was all she had to fight him with. She seethed at him through thin lips of anger, ‘You still think there was something between me and Nicholas and you will never accept that there wasn’t. If there had been, I’d be married to him now. And suggesting that I go to bed with you now because I was supposedly a two-timer then is despicable.’ She took a ragged breath. ‘Yes, I want you—how can I deny it when you know it?—but wanting and having isn’t possible, not with you, Mel. You have Nadia now and-’
‘She doesn’t wear my ring—’
She punched his chest then, small, ineffectual thumps that got her nowhere. ‘What’s a damned ring? Nothing, Mel. You’ve made the commitment—’
‘There is no commitment,’ he grated, almost angrily, as if she was at fault and not him. ‘Not yet,’ he added with a weight that stiffened the whole of her body into numbness and stilled her clenched fists against his shirtfront.
‘I…I don’t understand,’ she whispered faintly. Her head was swimming. She couldn’t have heard right, surely? If she had, the implication of it didn’t bear thinking about.
His eyes darkened moodily, almost closing off a part of himself he didn’t want probed. ‘You don’t have to understand, Jade,’ he whispered passionately. ‘All you need to know is that I want to make love to you and I wouldn’t think of it if I was formally committed to another woman.’
‘Yes, but…’ But still she didn’t understand, not fully. He had said that he was betrothed that first time he’d come to her in her office. Had he said it to punish her? At the sight of her after so long had all the supposed betrayal he had suffered four years ago welled up inside him, firming him with a need to punish her? Now he was saying he was not committed to Nadia—’not yet’. If she refused him would he propose to Nadia?
‘Please let me go, Mel,’ she whispered, confused out of her mind. Was he forcing her to make the choice for him, her or Nadia?
‘I can’t let you go, not this time,’ he grated roughly.
She tried to turn her head away from him but he stopped her with firm fingers securing her chin. A sob caught in her throat, a deep sob of release, and there were tears pricking the backs of her eyes which suddenly spilled over, blurring her vision.
‘Oh, Mel,’ she breathed weakly. ‘What’s happening to us? What have we done and what are we doing to ourselves now?’
The answer was in his mouth on hers, claiming her passionately, his arms enfolding her, securing her as if never to let her go. She knew then that this was no act. She felt the passion surging through him and knew that no amount of deviousness could sham that. He still wanted her and she him and what was to become of them?
Jade held him tight, wanting no one in the world to exist but themselves. She wouldn’t think of that fateful night four years back; she wouldn’t think of the pain and suffering they had both endured since. Mel wanted her and she had never stopped wanting him.
Suddenly he scooped her up into his arms and she clung to him, burying her face in his neck. Her heart led her. In total resignation she murmured his name and it was all that needed to be said.
CHAPTER SEVEN
IT HAD been far too long. Nervousness sent shock waves down the backs of Jade’s legs as Mel set her down in her bedroom. The light from the small hallway off the main living area was all the light in the room and Jade wished she had switched it off. She was overwhelmed with a shyness she had never experienced before with him.
Mel switched on a soft bedside light, closed the bedroom door and then took her in his arms again. His kisses were light and feathery on her brow and down the side of her face, soft, warm kisses of reassurance. ‘You’re trembling,’ he murmured. ‘Don’t be afraid, sweet one. Nothing has changed.’
But it had. They had both suffered so terribly and now they might not know each other. They were different people, influenced and changed by their pain. Doubt rushed at her, dissolving all her confidence till she clung to him, her arms tight around his neck, her fevered mouth seeking his for the guidance she needed. And then her heart swelled with love for him as he closed his mouth fully over hers and she knew she had nothing to fear. When you loved so deeply there was no room for doubt.
Very tenderly Mel pushed .her shirt back over her shoulders and it slid to the ground. He groaned helplessly as he ran his hands over her naked breasts, and when he lowered his mouth to her hot, scented skin she felt ecstasy engulf her like a sheet of moving fire. His tongue and lips tantalised her to the edge of endurance, teasing across her breast, rushing over her swollen nipples, arousing her so heatedly and swiftly that her legs felt as if they were melting.
He lifted her and she seemed to float on air and then slowly descended to the deep softness of her duvet. She moaned softly and fluttered open her eyes and the man she loved and adored was gazing down at her. His dark, dark Italian eyes were hooded and heavy with such deep desire that her mouth parted, inviting him down into the depth of her love and passion.
She watched him slowly undress in front of her, each movement so smooth and seductive that she wondered if he practised the art. And it
was an art—his body was a work of art, so muscled and dark and mysterious. She reached out to him as he discarded his silk boxer shorts, anxious to touch him and help him and be a part of him.
His breath caught roughly in his throat as she touched him intimately, taking him in her hands and leaning up to kiss the warm, silken, aroused skin. He pressed against her with another moan and then shuddered and drew back from her.
He sank down beside her on the bed and loosened her skirt and tossed it aside. He bent and kissed her tiny lace pants and then eased them away from her fiery skin and his mouth grazed heatedly above the triangle of dark hair.
The heat of his mouth, the fierceness of his breathing made her press her fingers into his back, urging him to her. It would have been so easy to lose control, to let their animal need take over and consummate their love out of mere expediency. But both were aware of the preciousness of their lovemaking, and the need to prolong the sweet pleasure outweighed the urgency.
Her own lips scored across his, her desire, so openly displayed, arousing him even more till both were barely hanging onto reality. It was a dream-like time in which Jade could only revel in her deep love for him. She touched and aroused his magnificent body and wondered at such strength. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of all the pain she had put him through, thought of this strong, powerful man suffering because of his own pride and stubbornness. And she hadn’t been strong enough to help him and not strong enough to help herself either.
But that was past and the present was heady and overwhelmingly sensuous. They were together again and nothing mattered but the here and now. Being together, loving each other.
He kissed her deeply, his fingers blazing trails of white fire on her receptive skin. She twisted against him wantonly as he stroked her sensitive inner thighs and the need inside her rose furiously till her breath caught in her throat. There was fire on fire as his tender exploration deepened, taking her up and beyond and into a world that was only theirs. Love and eroticism, sensuality and need, Jade lost herself in it all, Mel loving her, Mel needing her, Mel her life.
Neither could hold back any longer. He rose above her like some magnificent beast, male and dark and predatory in his urgency for her. With a small cry of desire she arched against him as he thrust into her, so strong, his breathing deep as his heat moved inside her. He had complete control over her heart, her senses, her fragile body. He supported her hips with one strong hand, moving into her with long, fluid strokes that caused such an intensity of feeling to surge through her that she gasped.
‘You’re mine again,’ he breathed raggedly.
For one painful second the words stabbed at her, sounding to her weakened senses as if his possession of her was indeed revenge, but then the uncertainty flew as if it had wings. This wasn’t revenge. This was Mel loving her because he had always loved her and couldn’t stop loving her now. Her fragile emotions soared too, hope and desire swelling her heart until she felt as if it might burst at any moment.
Jade cried out and clung to him as their climax broke, shuddering their bodies together, a fury of heat vibrating through them as the pressure exploded.
Wave after wave of sensation careered between them and they clung to each other as they rode the waves, crest after crest, till there was no more turbulence, only sweet, smooth rushes of billowing warmth and a bonding that was inescapable. They were as one, Jade and Mel, as they would always be.
They lay exhausted in each other’s arms, trying to level their breathing, trying to calm down sufficiently to be able to speak. But no words would come. It had all been said in their kisses and their lovemaking. They couldn’t live without each other any more.
‘I have to go,’ she heard Mel murmur, and the words hit Jade where it hurt most—her sensitive heart.
She sat bolt upright in bed, an instinctive reaction as if she’d been doused with cold water. She raked her tousled hair from her face, praying she had been mistaken in thinking there was an edge to his tone. After the wondrous night how could there be?
Still dazed with sleep, her body limp and aching as a reminder of what had happened the night before, she focused her misty eyes on him. Dear God, but he was showered and dressed and leaving. Her heart thudded.
‘Mel,’ she husked, her throat unbearably tight and painful.
He looked down at her, eyes unreadable, his voice barely audible. ‘Paris, remember? I have to make a dash for the airport.’
There was an unbearable rough edge to his low tone, as if he couldn’t wait to get away and she was holding him up. Jade stared at him in disbelief, her heart so cold inside her that she thought it would surely freeze. No warmth this morning from him. She had expected to wake up in his arms, with him holding her and pressing warm kisses to her brow; she had imagined he’d want to talk—about their second chance, the love that had survived four years of abstinence—but there was nothing but cold dismissal in his tone and his dark, accusing eyes.
‘You’re angry,’ she blurted, willing her legs out of the bed so that she could face him. But willing her legs to move wasn’t enough. She was paralysed with fear and confusion. Last night he had been so wonderful, this morning so…so…
‘Only with myself,’ he uttered icily. “The cold light of day and all that.’
‘Mel!’ She was aware that she had screamed his name. Life came back to her legs and she flew from the bed, naked and shivering, not able to take this in. What had happened? Last night…Her heart missed a million beats. Colour rushed to her face. Numbly she reached for a robe at the foot of the bed. Mel didn’t love her. Mel had punished her, used her. Mel had taken his revenge. He couldn’t forgive and forget. Images of Nadia rushed at her from all sides, flooding her with a guilt that should have flooded her when Mel had been making love to her. Oh, God, what was happening to her?
‘M-Mel, we…we have to talk,’ she stammered helplessly.
He glanced at his watch and her heart pounded so painfully that she swayed. He couldn’t even bring himself to look her in the eye. Anger surged within her then, a bitterness that almost foamed in her mouth. He had used her in the worst possible way. Coldly and cruelly he had punished her for what he thought she had done to him four years ago. She wanted to plead but the words wouldn’t come to her stricken throat. She stood helpless and small by the bed, trembling inside, diminished to almost nothing because she had allowed this to happen.
He looked at her then, with eyes so hostile that she nearly let her heart leap with irrational hope. If he had made love to her as an act of revenge he should be looking triumphant, not hostile. And he wasn’t triumphant, not at all. Just coldly angry with her. Or was he angry with himself for letting his emotions run away with him? If so there was a chance, but she couldn’t ask, she just couldn’t force the words from her trembling white lips.
‘I’ll call from Paris,’ he said, and they were his final words, cruelly final. He turned and, shoulders stiff with tension, walked out of the bedroom.
The door slammed behind him and Jade flinched. The walls seemed to close in on her, squeezing the very life from her lungs, leaving her breathless and gasping for air. Then she started to shake, nature’s way of revival, shocking her back into the real world. Mel was gone. He’d left without a word of love. Coldly and clinically he had walked out of her life again.
Her head was thumping and her skin felt raw. She forced herself to move out of the bedroom, as if she might find the answer to the world’s mysteries in another room. Oh, God, what had happened to Mel to change him from the sensuous lover of the night before to this very devil of cold hostility this morning? she wondered despairingly.
The walls of the vast open-plan living area seemed to close in on her too, narrowing her focus. And then she saw something she hadn’t seen the night before. Something she should have seen. Across the back of a chair, in a corner by the opening to the inner hall, hung a dry cleaner’s bag.
Jade approached it hesitantly, as if it might spring up and snatch at h
er throat. She stood by it, staring down at it till her eyes were dark pools of distress. The label with the name ‘Fields’ clearly scrawled on it mocked her and her head swam till she felt sick with realisation. Mel had seen it. It was so obvious now. He had rightly jumped to the conclusion that Nicholas was living here, but whether he’d seen it last night or this morning wasn’t obvious to her tangled senses. Had he known last night and made love to her for pure revenge? Her heart clenched at the thought.
Jade bit her lip punishingly. Or was it worse? Had Mel only seen it this morning and felt irrevocably hurt and betrayed yet again? Yes, that was worse, for Mel, that he might think she was no better than he thought her four years ago.
Jade sobbed out a strangled curse at Trisha for not putting the suits away, she cursed Nicholas for being in her life, and then last and more importantly she cursed herself for being such a fool. She should have told him. How could she have made the same mistake a second time in her life?
In a daze of misery Jade rushed to Nicholas’s bedroom and flung open the door. It was obvious the room was used by a man and Mel might have seen it, seeking further evidence after finding the suits, in which case wouldn’t he have realised that though Nicholas might be living here he wasn’t sharing her bed? Didn’t he realise after last night that he, Mel Biaggio, was the only love of her life and had always been the only love for her?
Her misery was unparalleled, so much worse than anything she’d experienced before. ‘It’s enough that he believes he’s still in my life,’ Jade breathed out loud with anguish. ‘He’s programmed that way, damn him, programmed by pride, with no room for reasoning.’ She let out a sob of grief and anger. He wouldn’t listen if she tried to explain. Just as he hadn’t listened before, so what was the point? Last time it had taken him only seconds to blow her out of his life, this time only marginally longer.