"I live here, though." Maybe he wouldn't be willing to move if I found something far away.
"Can we take this one day at a time?"
He smiles tightly. It's forced and he's doing it for my benefit. "Sure."
He turns and gestures toward the dining table where breakfast is spread out. Eve and Cy are already sitting down, but not eating yet. I had no clue they were there. Instead of looking at us, their eyes are on each other as they whisper back and forth. I step to the table and take a seat next to Parker.
Eve smiles at me. "Good morning."
"Good morning."
I glance at Cy. He's watching me sans smile and not saying a word. Well, then. At least he's not pretending to like me. That has to count for something, right? I'd rather know where he stands than have to try and figure out if he's being fake or not.
Breakfast is quiet. The only sounds are the silverware hitting the plates as we eat. I help Parker clear the dishes and dry them as he washes. Eve and Cy make themselves scarce.
After the dishes are put away, Parker takes my hand in his. "Do you want to go for a walk?"
"Sure."
Outside, we stroll through the woods on a small path. It's only wide enough for one person but appears to have been tread upon multiple times. The canopy of trees above us provides shelter from the sun. We reach a small clearing where there is a fallen tree. Parker sits on it, pulling me in front of him. He parts his legs to allow me to get closer. His hands rest on my hips, his mesmerizing eyes hold mine.
"I can work anywhere," he starts. "My business isn't contingent upon location. That being said, I don't want to leave Arrow Falls. Cy and Eve are here. Blair. My parents. If we’re going to make this work, I need to be honest with you. I want to spend every day with you, Tora. I want to make up for lost time. But I want to do it here."
"I respect that and understand. You have to see my side, though. I just finished college. I'm only getting started in my career. I can't push that aside for anyone."
"I'm not asking you to."
"Not directly.”
His eyes look beyond me into the woods. "Will you at least search the nearby areas first, before expanding? You can commute to the city. It's not a bad drive."
"I'll search there first, but I'm not making any promises. Besides, I could look and find nothing local. Not every place needs nor wants an editor with minimal experience."
"You could ask B for help. She knows a lot of people in the book world and might be able to help you find something. You could even work from home."
"Blair has enough going on without me hounding her about helping me find work. I won't add to her stress." I pause until his eyes find mine again. "I will look in the city first. Promise."
He smiles. "Really?"
"Yes. I want this to work between us, too. But we are both going to have to compromise. I won't be the only one bending while you get everything you want."
Pulling me close so his hands rest on my ass, he says, "There's only one thing I want and she's standing right in front of me."
Words like those cause my knees to go weak and my heart to race. This man, he knows what to say to make me melt. I lean down, pressing my lips to his. The kiss starts out sweet, our tongues playfully sweeping into each other's mouths. But as Parker pulls me harder into him, I feel how turned on he is, and it only amps up my need.
Our hands are greedy as they rove each other's bodies. Parker unbuttons my shorts, pushing them down until they pool at my feet. His lips leave mine to kiss down my stomach until he reaches the top of my panties. His finger gently caresses me over the silk. I shudder at the touch and tip my head back.
Pushing the thin material aside so he can get better access to me, his finger grazes my clit. If not for his other hand on my ass, I would collapse to the forest floor.
Maneuvering me back a little, he drops to the ground and stares up at me. I run my fingers through his hair, still having a hard time believing we’re back together. God, I’ve missed him.
"Parker," I mutter. Tears prick my eyes. Every time I look at him, I get lost in a barrage of memories.
"Shhh, let me take care of you," he whispers.
His head dips down so he can sweep his tongue over me. I cry out at the sensation. My tears subside as quickly as they came. There is nothing for me to do but feel. Feel his tongue moving against my clit, as his hands grip my thighs to pull my legs apart. Feel as he alternates between licking and sucking me.
He continues this until I'm grinding onto his mouth, on the verge of coming but not quite there yet. Chasing my orgasm, which is just out of reach.
Then he takes two fingers and pushes them up into me. That's all it takes before I'm calling out his name as I tremble against him. The orgasm rocks me and goes on and on as he pumps into me while his tongue laps up everything I give him.
Every other man I've been with since we've been apart hadn't come close to making me feel like Parker does. He doesn't just make me come. He reaches every part of me through his touch. He reaches my soul, and in turn, my entire being comes alive at the rightness of having him near.
Gripping his hair in my fist, I pull him from me, unable to take any more. My head drops forward as I try to catch my breath. With gentle hands, he slides my panties back over, pulls my shorts up, and fastens them.
Standing before me, I reach forward to skate my hand over his length through his shorts.
He moans. "Tora, I'm so close. Touch me again and I'll probably come. Getting you off turned me on to the point of it being painful."
It’s my turn to drop to my knees and show him how much I've missed him with nothing but my hands and mouth.
Sixteen
Parker
Fuck me, I'm going to have to take walks in the woods with Tora more often. The sight of her on her knees with my dick in her mouth, holy shit. I can't believe I even lasted as long as I did.
We're walking back to the cabin when I say, "Stay with me tonight."
"Parker..."
"I know you want to go slow, but nothing has been slow so far," I chuckle, and she blushes. "I don't think we can do slow. It's never been that way with us. When we first got together, we were hot and heavy from the start. We didn't cool off once. Everything we did was full of love and passion. I want to get back there."
"I do, too, but we also have to get to know each other again. What if I have new quirks you hate or do something that completely turns you off."
I stop and turn to her. "The only way you're going to turn me off is if you kiss Finn, and even then, that will only make me want to punch him in the face."
She jokingly shoves my shoulder. "Would you leave him alone?"
"Where’s the fun in that? I need something to entertain me."
"You have me now," she says, as she closes the distance between us. "That's all the distraction you need."
"Is that a yes?" I feather a kiss over her lips.
"I have a hard time resisting you when your lips are on mine."
"I have to use whatever I can to get my way.”
"Cheater," she mumbles. I pull back at the word. At first, she's confused, but then it dawns on her. "No, that's not what I meant," she rushes to say. "I meant that you're cheating at getting me to do what you want. You have to know that. I wouldn’t mean the other. We talked about it and we're good, I swear."
I watch her and school my features. At first it did throw me back. Memories of her calling me a cheater are ingrained in me. But after she started rambling, and was visibly upset that I thought she was referring to back then, I’m internally smiling. She pauses, taking a breath, her eyes on me waiting for any inkling of emotion.
"Are you done?" I ask.
"Yes. I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean—"
I cut her off with another kiss. This time it's much more heated than the last one.
"You have a bedroom, you know!" Cy yells from behind us.
Breaking the kiss, I find him smirking about twenty feet away. Maybe
he's warming up to Tora. The more she stands up for herself, the more he'll respect her. He likes strong women, as evidenced by Eve.
"I also have a lot of land," I reply. "I can kiss, fuck, do whatever I want, anywhere around here."
"You're going to fuck Tora next to the driveway?"
I shrug. "Only time will tell."
She smacks me on the back. "Would you knock it off?”
I smile wickedly. "Never."
"If you’re going to fuck her out here, can you at least hang a sock on the mailbox or something, so I don't drive up here and literally run into you?" Cy asks.
"I'm not walking all the way down the driveway to put a sock on the fucking mailbox." The driveway isn't exactly short.
"Whatever, man. Just don't be surprised if you end up with tire tread on your ass." He turns toward his truck, and I notice Eve is already inside it waiting for him. "I'm leaving now," he tosses over his shoulder. "No sock needed today."
I flip him off. He chuckles as he gets inside his jacked-up truck. That thing is a monster. You have to climb up to get into it.
After they leave, it’s just Tora and me. We have the whole property and house to ourselves.
I waggle my eyebrows. "What do you say? There’s no one around."
"You're insane!"
"Nah, I'm only slightly crazy—crazy for you."
She laughs. "That was the cheesiest thing I think you've ever said to me."
"And we're only on day two, sweetheart."
She rolls her eyes. "Is this what I have to look forward to?"
"Yes, it is. Would you rather have it any other way?"
"No," she says, as she wraps her arms around me. "I love you just the way you are." I still. She hasn't told me she loved me since we started up again. I've said it repeatedly, even before I had her back in my arms.
"Did you...did you just say you love me?"
"I did," she replies timidly. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I thought when I eventually told you how I felt, it would be more meaningful. Not out in the woods after we fooled around."
"Do you mean it? Do you love me?"
"I don't think I ever stopped," she admits. "Yes, I hated you for a long time, but my heart wouldn't let you go. There was always this part of me that wanted you back. To have you in my life like you used to be. That part of me pissed me off a lot, but it was honest at least."
I engulf her in my arms, tucking her into my chest, her head under my chin. "God, Tora. I never stopped loving you either. Every day I thought of you. I never dreamed I'd get you back. When I slept, you were there. When I woke, I always felt empty without you in my bed."
"What about all the women you were with? They never got your mind off me?" she mumbles into my chest.
"You're going to tell me you didn't sleep with anyone during the last four years?"
"That's not what I said."
"No, but you don’t deny it."
Staying within the circle of my arms, she lifts her head from my chest. "I'm not going to pretend I didn't try to move on. I did. I tried so fucking hard, but no matter who I dated, who I slept with, they couldn’t compare to you. My heart was broken—shattered—and yet, it only wanted you."
"I tried to lose myself in women," I admit. "I'm not innocent. I was a bit of a whore, if I'm honest. But it was only because I couldn't get you out of my head. I never thought we'd have this again. You’re the woman who set the bar for everyone else, and no one came close to measuring up.” I pause to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I want you to know something. I always protected myself with those women. Not once did I sleep with them without a condom. And to be safe, I got tested every few months." I cup her cheeks in my hands. "When I take you again, there will be nothing between us. It will only be me, you, and how we were always meant to be. Nothing will separate us ever again."
Tora takes my hands from her face and holds them in hers as she slowly walks backward toward the cabin. "I always used protection as well, and was tested at my last check-up. I'm also on birth control. I never stopped taking it when we broke up."
I nod and follow her like a puppy going after a treat. When we reach the door to the house, I open it and look at her intensely. I hope I'm conveying how much I want her. All this talk of sex and no condom has me wanting to take her right here on the stairs.
She ascends the steps first, with me on her heels. She doesn't stop walking until we're in my bedroom with the door shut behind us. I have no idea when Cy and Eve will be coming back, and I don't want them getting a show when they do. If I'm reading Tora right, she wants me as badly as I want her.
She stands at the foot of the bed and lifts her tank top off, tossing it to the floor. Her shorts are next to go. All that remains on her is a white lace bra and the very small silk panties I saw earlier. She takes the bra off, one strap at a time then unhooks the back. Her breasts bounce free, my eyes tracking the movement. I’m frozen to the spot—riveted as she strips. Her panties are the next to go. She slips one finger on each side and painfully slowly, lowers them from her hips. Nothing remains but Tora and every fantasy I've had of her since we last slept together.
I've dreamt many times of how I'd take her again if I could. I thought those were all I'd get—the dreams and nothing more. I lived for those dreams. I would wake each morning I had one and try so hard to get back into it, not wanting to wake. I wanted to forever be touching her smooth skin.
She doesn't try to hide. She stands for me to see—only me. I walk to her side in short, measured steps, trying to refrain from placing her on the bed and devouring her. She doesn't move as I walk to her back. There, my hand lightly skims down her spine, over the curve of her ass. God, she's gorgeous. Goosebumps break out on her skin and I relish in the effect on her.
Trailing my fingers up to her side, I continue my lazy circle around her. My fingers travel north to her breast, lightly tracing around her nipple. She closes her eyes and shudders. I move on to the other breast, but this time, I pinch her nipple between my fingers. Tora moans in response.
My hand skims down her other side to her hip. I don't let it go further south, yet. Gliding it across her taut stomach, I reach her other hip. Now that I'm here, there's no stopping me. I skate over her center, grazing the top of her mound before I ever so lightly drag my finger down the front of her. She tips her head back, moaning again. Her hands come up to cup her breasts.
I remove my hand. She whimpers at the loss of my touch. "Hands off, sweetheart. This body is mine to touch."
Releasing her breath, she drops her arms to her side. I resume my perusal of her body, my finger finding her clit and rubbing it in small circles. As far as I'm concerned, I have all the time in the world to cherish and make love to her. I intend to enjoy every second of it, and I'll be damned if I'm going to rush through this. We both got off a little while ago. There's no need to push through this quickly. No, I want to savor her. I want to commit every voluptuous curve, her ample breasts, and her bare pussy to memory. It's all mine.
"Lie on the bed, Tora. On your back. And spread those sexy legs for me."
Seventeen
Astoria
Parker's trying to kill me. That's what this is. I've never been so turned on in all my life. I love how he's taking charge and telling me what to do. I'll happily do as he asks.
I lie on the bed, my head on his pillow. It's there his scent envelops me. He smells like summer and the air surrounding the cabin. Very unique and so Parker. I turn my head to the side to pull it into me.
"Open your eyes, sweetheart. I want you to watch me," he commands.
He stands at the foot of the bed and I observe as he pulls his shirt off. He's more defined than I remember. Each ridge of his stomach flexes and moves while he rids himself of his shorts and boxer briefs. Fuck me, he's gorgeous.
Climbing onto the bed, he covers me with his body, his dick hard and ready between us. My eyes find his as I spread my legs wider, offering myself. His body lowers, however,
he doesn't take me yet. He rests his heavy length on my clit and slowly glides himself back and forth over me.
Instinctively, I reach for his hips to pull him down. I don't want to wait. I want him inside of me now. He immediately stops what he's doing and lifts himself a few inches away so we’re no longer touching.
"What did I tell you?"
I groan in frustration, but drop my hands to the bed, fisting the comforter. I need to do something with them or they will be on his ass next, demanding he fuck me now.
Parker lowers himself again, but this time he dips down so his dick is lining up with me. I bend my legs and lift my hips. I might not be allowed to touch him, but I'm going to make sure he gets the damn hint as to where he needs to be.
Fisting his cock, he brushes it over me again. At first, he only dips the head in then out. The second time he pushes halfway in. The third time, he thrusts home and fully enters me. I cry out and can't help but put my hands on him. He lets me this time.
"Tora," he whispers, lowering his chest to mine. "My, Tora."
Hearing those words on his lips is almost my undoing. Tears are back in my eyes, and I have to focus on the passion between us so I don't start crying during sex with him. It's not the act, but the intimacy. Having him inside of me, where he is meant to be. It's when he opens his eyes and looks down at me that I know he feels it, too. One tear cascades to the tip of his nose and drops onto me. I lose it and start crying.
Parker lowers himself so his chest is touching mine, but his weight is mostly held off of me by his arms. His gaze is so intense. So full of longing, even though I'm right beneath him.
His thumbs brush over my cheeks. "I can't believe we're back. This, right now, I don't have the words to describe what I'm feeling. You're everything, Tora."
Lifting my head, I kiss him. He returns it and starts to move within me. Emotion clogs my throat, halting any words I want to say. I hold on to him as if my life depends on it. Maybe it doesn't, but my heart is on the line.
Releasing my lips, Parker drops his head to take my nipple into his mouth. He sucks and nips at the stiff peak as I arch my back off the bed. The pleasure rippling through me is chasing away the tears. It's a slow burn, one I want to reach the climax of, but at the same time, want to hold off and prolong the pleasure as long as possible.
Where I Am Page 10