Where I Am

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Where I Am Page 14

by Michelle Dare


  "Why are you bleeding?" I ask through a scratchy throat. I want to take her in my arms, but between the leftover effects of being knocked out and the pain medication, I can barely move.

  "I'm not," she says, as a tear escapes her eye. "It's your blood."

  I nod, thankful she's okay. My mind is foggy, details still slowly coming back. Tora wasn't hurt. She wasn't shot. She's okay.

  "My dad?" I ask.

  "He's critical, but stable. They had to work hard, but the doctors are optimistic. Your mom is with him in recovery. She came down to check on you while you were still in surgery. Your leg is going to be fine, by the way. You'll need some physical therapy, but I figure you and Cy can carpool." Her lips tip up in a smile.

  "Making jokes at my expense, sweetheart?"

  "It's either that or I'm going to cry all over your hospital gown. Your choice."

  "Jokes. Jokes are better." She doesn't let go of my hand until a nurse comes in to check my vitals.

  I drift in and out of sleep for what feels like hours. The pain medication causing me to be sleepy, unable to stay awake and talk for long. I finally tell them to ease up on it, so I can stay alert longer.

  The next time I come to, Blair is sitting by my bed where Tora was. This time everything is clearer—more in focus.

  A smile appears, though I can tell she’s forcing it. "Felling a little better?"

  "Define better?" I mumble and adjust myself on the bed. It hurts to move my leg but not like it did when I first woke from surgery. The pain medication must be taking the edge off. It doesn’t completely numb it, however. "How long have I been asleep?"

  "Maybe twelve hours on and off since surgery."

  "Where's Tora?"

  "She's visiting your dad. Whenever someone is here to see you, she slips out to check on him and offer your mom any support she can."

  "How are you?" There's a bruise forming on her cheek from where Brant slapped her, plus the bump on her head is still visible from the first encounter.

  "Emotionally or physically?" she asks.

  "Both. Either. Whatever you want to tell me."

  Fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, her gaze drifts around the room. "My once fiancé is dead. You're in a hospital bed. Your dad is critical. Police officers are dead."

  "You're here. That matters. He didn't take you with him. And he can't hurt you ever again." I’m trying to keep her attention on the positive and not all the negative that’s happened.

  "You were shot because of me," she states meekly.

  "I was shot because my stepbrother wanted to shoot me. This isn't on you, B. It's solely on him." She looks down at the bed, unable to meet my eyes. "B, look at me." She slowly lifts her head. "It's not your fault."

  "Your house is probably haunted now," she jokes, trying to lighten the mood. I let her. I can't imagine how she's coping with everything and will gladly do what I can to get her to smile.

  "Meh, what's a ghost or two. Besides, Revere will probably scare them away with his mood."

  "True." She pauses. "He saved us."

  I nod. "That he did."

  "Well, him and Eve."

  "What do you mean?"

  "They didn't tell you before you left for the hospital?" I shake my head. "Cy was afraid of Eve being found with him so he split them up. He told her to get into her car in your garage, cover herself with one of the blankets in the back seat, and stay down. He went and hid in the closet, knowing that would be an obvious spot for someone to look.

  "Brant’s accomplice opened the door of the closet first. Cy leaped out at him, startling him, causing him to drop the gun. They got into a fistfight and ended up rolling around in between your Rover and Eve's Jetta." Eve and that damned Jetta. She has the money yet refuses to give it up. She loves that car.

  "Eve had one of those long, heavy flashlights in her car. When the guy had Cy pinned to the ground next to her car, she reached out of the already open window and wailed him on the head with the flashlight. He stumbled off of Cy long enough for Cy to grab the dropped rifle and kill him." I visualize Cy rolling around with this guy and only using one arm to fight him thanks to being shot previously.

  "I knew Eve had it in her. She's one tough woman." Pride beams in my chest for her.

  "That she is."

  The door opens and in steps Eve, herself. "Hey," she says softly. "Glad to see you’re finally awake and alert."

  "Me, too."

  She comes over and bends down to hug me. Blair excuses herself to give us privacy. Once the door is shut Eve says, "She has a hard time talking about what happened. She doesn't like hearing about it either."

  "She was okay with me."

  "She's worried about you. She also wants to make sure you know everything that happened. But she won't repeat things to any of us, and if she's in the room where we bring up a specific detail or something, she leaves."

  I pat the bed. "Lay with me."

  Eve maneuvers herself so she's lying on her side next to me. "What will Tora think if she comes in?" she teases.

  "What will Cy think?"

  "Good point." She starts to sit up, but I pull her back down next to me and embrace her in a one-armed hug.

  "Thank you," I say with my chin resting on the top of her head.

  "For what?"

  "Being your badass self."

  "You heard about the flashlight, huh?"

  I chuckle. "Yes. Way to go, Mrs. Revere."

  She buffs her nails on her shirt. "All in a day's work."

  "I love you, you crazy woman. But don't ever pull that shit again. If I lost you..."

  "Please. Cy would find a way to bring me back. That man is never letting me leave. You're all stuck with me."

  I chuckle. She's right. Cy would come for her. "We need you. Who else would keep Cy's ass in check?"

  Cy opens the door to my room. He doesn't even pause as he finds Eve in my hospital bed, with her hand resting on my stomach and her head on my shoulder.

  "You must be feeling better, Maxfield, if you're already putting the moves on my Evie."

  "When the cat's away..." Cy flips me off and I laugh.

  Eve reaches for his hand. "Come into bed with us." She pulls him down so he's sitting next to my leg. His gaze moves over the large bandage on my thigh.

  "You gave me a scare, man.”

  "I guess we're even, since you frightened the fuck out of me when you were shot."

  "Me? I was fine. I was up and yelling at people in the ER."

  "Only you, dude. Only you."

  "I just saw your dad. He's doing better and awake. Your mom is fussing all over him. He keeps telling her to knock it off."

  "Seems about right. Have you talked to my mom?" I wonder if she's had time to process losing her son.

  "I did a little. She's holding up, or at least pretending to."

  I nod. I wish I wasn’t stuck in this bed so I could go to her and offer any comfort I can. Yes, Brant was a horrible human being, but the fact remains, he was still her son. She wanted him locked away, not killed. There's no going back now. We all have to live with what happened.

  I took a life—the life of my stepbrother. I feel zero remorse about it currently. Maybe one day I will. He was my brother after all. We had a good relationship growing up. I always looked up to him. Things with him didn't change until everything with Blair happened. Mom would talk to him about me when she visited him, and he would fly off into a rage. During one visit, the guards had to restrain him and haul him away. He still believed I was sleeping with his fiancée.

  Blair steps into the room again and beside her is Finn. What the fuck?

  "I'm heading home,” she says quietly. “Well, not home yet. I'm staying with your parents.”

  "Hi, Parker," Finn says. “How are you feeling?

  Eve lifts herself off the bed. She leaves with Cy. I don't miss the glare he gives Finn as he walks by. Finn doesn't pay him any attention. Eve squeezes Finn’s arm as she passes and smiles. That woman is too sw
eet for her own good.

  Walking to the side of my bed, Finn stops and takes a seat in the chair beside me.

  "I'll be outside when you're ready," Blair says to him and shuts the door behind her.

  "What in the ever-loving fuck is going on here?" I ask. Has he really moved on to my best friend?

  "Nothing," he quickly states. "I stopped by to visit you and ran into Blair outside your door. She was talking to Tori about going back to your parents’ to get some sleep but mentioned she didn't have a way to get there. I offered to give her a ride after I stopped to see you."

  "Bradley, so fucking help me, if you hurt that woman there will be no place on this earth you can hide." I don't care that I'm currently laid up in a hospital bed, with an IV in my arm and a bullet wound in my leg. I'll kick this motherfucker's ass. The IV pole looks like it could do some real damage if I swung it hard enough.

  "I came here to see how you were doing. The last thing I expected was for you to threaten me. You have anger issues." He stands and walks toward the door.

  I'm a dick. The guy was being nice, and I couldn't even say thank you for visiting. What the hell is wrong with me?

  "Hey, Bradley?" Finn turns. "It was nice of you to stop by. I can honestly say you’re the last person I thought I'd see."

  "I'm not quite sure what to do with that."

  "We were friends once. Before this shit with Eve and Tora. I wouldn't be opposed to being friends again."

  "I guess that's where we differ. I never thought we stopped being friends. I'm not a bad guy, Parker. But neither you nor Cy seem to give a shit about me."

  "It's not that. We just...we're really fucking protective of our women. Like cavemen, we need one of those wooden clubs type of protection."

  Finn smiles. "I am glad you're okay."

  "I appreciate you coming, and maybe when things settle down, we can meet for a beer or something."

  "I'd like that." Finn reaches for the door.

  "I meant what I said about Blair."

  "I know you did," he replies without looking back.

  Twenty-Three

  Astoria

  "You shouldn't be lifting that," I say, as I rush over to Parker's side and try to take a box from him.

  "I'm fine. I can lift a box."

  "But your leg..."

  "The doctor said I'm fine to resume normal activity. It's been two months, Tora. I've been fine, but was extra cautious for you. Now, I'm ready to resume all activities." He waggles his eyebrows at me.

  "Oh, please. Those activities never stopped."

  "There are places I haven't had you yet that I've always wanted to. I’m going to rectify that. Maybe even today," he says with a wicked smile.

  Cy and Parker have both gone through and completed physical therapy from their gunshot wounds. They've been cleared to resume what they used to do, for a while now. I still want Parker to be careful, though. I have a fear of him injuring himself again, but he's been out hiking through the woods, doing everything he normally would. I still try to help do stuff for him. If only he'd let me. I’m the first to admit I can be as stubborn, if not more so, than him.

  Cy and Eve are moving today. Their house is done and not far from Parker's at all. They didn't bother hiring movers since almost every piece of furniture they have is Parker's. They bought new for their house. And holy hell is it stunning.

  It has more square footage than Parker's and two stories of livable space. The siding is natural wood and the windows are framed in a deep brown. There is a wraparound porch on the first floor and lots of windows. Five bedrooms and four bathrooms give them plenty of space. Cy said they need it all for the kids they’re going to have someday. Eve keeps correcting him and saying kid, as in singular, but he doesn't listen. They are so far from being on the same page. One thing remains constant. Cy is so unbelievably in love with his wife and she feels the same for him.

  Today we are moving the final boxes of their stuff. Their more personal items, which they didn't want to bring over until the day they finally moved out of the cabin. Parker and I are helping. Blair is already at their place with Parker's parents.

  His dad had a tough road to recovery, but is doing much better now. He's back to work, though has taken a step back. He’s been spending more time with Parker and the rest of us. He told me one night that he had a lot of time to reflect in the hospital and wants to do things differently moving forward. He's always been there for Parker, but time is precious, and we don't know what could happen. We have Sunday night dinners at their house, and everyone is invited including Cy, Eve, and Blair. It's nice having this big extended family.

  As for my parents, well, after Brant came into Parker's house and tried to kill us all to get to Blair, they weren't happy. My dad didn't want me to have anything to do with Parker. I had to sit him down and tell him the whole story. And by that, I mean all of it, including what happened to Blair years ago. Of course, I got permission from Blair first. I didn’t want to go behind her back and tell her past when it wasn’t mine to do so. My dad was angry, but not at Parker. He has a newfound respect for Parker, which I couldn't be more grateful for. I wouldn't say they are best friends, but they are friendly with one another.

  Parker's strong arms wrap around my waist from behind as he nuzzles his face into my neck. "What are you thinking about?"

  I've been staring out the large windows in the front of the cabin. "All that's happened in the past two months.”

  He rubs his hand protectively over my stomach. "And how's our little one doing?"

  “Already sapping me of my energy.”

  “Just another reason for me to pamper you.”

  In the weeks that followed the shooting, I was so wrapped up in taking care of Parker, and helping out with his dad, and Blair, that I forgot to take my birth control pills. One thing led to another and we're expecting. I will never forget the look on Parker's face when I told him.

  My period is late. At first, I chalked it up to stress. But now, now I need to test. I slip out of the house and drive into town while Parker is busy working. Cy and Eve are over at Blair's house, so Eve can help her get back into the swing of things with her writing. Cy is supervising the construction crew Blair hired to strip her bedroom down to the studs after a man was killed in there. She said she couldn't sleep in the room again unless everything was gone, and the new room resembled nothing of the old. I can't blame her. I wouldn't be able to either.

  I drive fifteen minutes to a neighboring town, where no one knows who I am, who my parents are, who I'm dating, or anything about me. I buy three boxes of pregnancy tests. Knowing nothing about them, I figure variety will help. This way I can use all three and go with majority rules on the outcome. I got one that will have the word, ‘pregnant’ pop up on the screen. One that shows two crossed blue lines if it’s positive. And one that will show two parallel pink lines if I’m pregnant. I haven't said a word to Parker yet.

  When I get back to the cabin, I slip into one of the guest bathrooms while Parker is on the phone. I don't think he heard me come back and want to keep it that way. After reading the directions, I decide the easiest course of action is to pee in a cup. Knowing my luck, if I try to pee on the sticks, I'll pee everywhere but where I should. I need as little chance of error as possible.

  With pee in a small, disposable, bathroom cup, I dip one of each variety of stick. Three sticks sit on the counter before me. The timer on my phone is set and the countdown begins.

  I look anywhere but the sticks. I don't want to see a hint of something and then have it disappear. Or see something and have it be faint. I need to know for sure.

  I haven't thought about having children with Parker. Before college, I had this big master plan where I would graduate, and we'd get married and have kids. But since we've gotten back together, too much has been going on for me to have time to daydream.

  I stare at my phone, watching the seconds tick by until the timer sounds and silence it quickly. Turning, I stare at t
hree sticks. One has a faint blue plus sign. Oh, my God. The second has definite double pink lines. Holy fuck. And the third says one word—pregnant. I scream without thinking. My hands shake as I lift the stick with that singular word on it. I can't believe it. A baby. I'm going to have a baby!

  Parker comes rushing into the bathroom without bothering to knock. His eyes are wide as they scan the room then look over every inch of me. "Are you okay? What the hell happened?" he asks frantically.

  I smile with tears in my eyes. "We're pregnant.” Still holding the stick in my hand, I turn it so he can see the word on it.

  "We're what?"

  "We're going to have a baby."

  His jaw drops open, and his eyes fixate on the positive pregnancy stick in my hand and the ones on the counter. He says nothing. He doesn't even move.

  Oh, my God. I didn't think about how he’d react. Maybe he doesn't want a child. What if this changes everything between us and for the worse? This could destroy our relationship. He could be pissed at me for forgetting to take my pills. As my mind runs through all the negative things that could come from this, Parker lifts his eyes to mine and a smile forms, growing wider by the second.

  "Holy shit!" he yells and lifts me in the air by my waist. "We're going to have a baby!" Gently placing me on the floor, he cradles my face in his hands and kisses me with so much love and devotion. So much happiness. My fears dissipate, and I let his joy wash over me.

  “When did we…what about the…" he stammers.

  "I forgot to take my birth control after you were shot. I started again as soon as I remembered, though it must have been too late. I guess I won't be needing them for a while." I laugh.

  "I can't believe it. This is amazing."

  Parker drops to his knees before me and lifts my shirt. He places kisses on my belly. "Hello, in there. I'm your daddy." His eyes widen again as realization dawns on him. He peers up at me. "I'm going to be a daddy."

  I nod. "You're going to be an amazing daddy."

 

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